All Comments on 'Under a Thin White Sheet'
by LegacyUser
- 32 Comments
i clicked on this hoping to enjoy a nice long story only to find this one pager...
Seems to me this was just chapter one. If not, well, don't give up your day job.
The author stated it would be a long story, however, it was very brief. Overall though it was well written. I look forward to reading more.
maybe Joe and his hot "little" sister can get naked and masturbate together, that would be hot!
Either you have no concept of long or this is only chapter 1 and you couldn't be bothered to use a chapter number to warn people this was not a complete story.
To be fair, this appears to be the first posting by the writer. Most people aren't aware that it takes from 8-10 pages on a word processor to fill 1 page on Literotica.
For the author, that may have seemed like a lot, only to find out after it's online how it translates.
Writing is good for a first timer. As the others say, it begs for a follow up. Don't wait too long. Thanks for sharing.
I expected five pages or more, so hopefully you will write several more chapters. There is good potential for their sexual awakening. Brother and sister attraction and exploration is a real turn-on for me, having had no opposite sex sibling.
Thank you for all the feedback. Even the negative. This is the first chapter of the series. The second part is submitted and 'pending'. I apologize for misleading any of the readers, I didn't realize how condensed it translated from Word to the site. I will be very mindful of the length in the future. I hope you enjoy the second chapter as much as the first.
If you check the writers of most of the comments, They have no submissions at all and can't understand that it's hard to come up with a lot of ideas to fill page after page. Keep writing. At least they're not being really mean like some people on this site are.
Dear LegacyUser, please do not let a couple of 'Anonymous' critics keep you from continuing. This was a fine start to your story and left me wanting more. I guess I'm not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of person like many of the critics here. Your story was well written and obviously proof-read. I get so tired of 'Anonymous' critics trashing everything they read here. It's not easy to write well but it's very easy to tear things down. I eagerly await the next installment, Thank you.
Readers,
Thank you so much for your support. I submitted Chapters 2, 3, and 4 already and two just hit the streets. Please check it out, it is short and in hindsight I should have released 1-2 together. Newbie mistake. I do apologize. Chapters 3 and 4 are much more lengthy since the characters are now being more developed, each installment is a longer, multi-page installment. The staff here will release them shortly, I am confident in that. The fifth installment is now nearly complete. It is in final edited and will be submitted tonight. If you have ideas and comments, please feel free to add them in your feedback! I have a very serious plan for our characters through page 100 of a word document. After that, I am open to suggestion. Thank you!
Really interesting story. I like the idea behind it feels kind of somewhat different from the norm. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes. I'm Definitely going to be following it. For a first time writer, this is beyond good in my opinion compared to other stories from first-time writers on here. If there's anyone leaving you negative feedback I don't see why. Great story can't wait for more chapters!!
Not many pieces of fiction are this good on the internet, so I loved it! Perfect depiction of a brother and a sister, only disappointed there isn’t any more
Innocent awakening to true life process of developing into the sexual beings we are.
Y’all mad weird 💀💀💀 imagine wanting to fuck your sibling, I hope this website gets taken down. Nasty ass inbred fucks.
wonder what the fuck the one that said the site should be taken down and what was he doing reading this anyway, dumb ass more then likely got off 2 or 3 times.