You Deserve This

I've never been beautiful. Some people have called me so sometimes. But I know they were only being nice. I know I'm not beautiful. Not ugly either, just not pretty, you know? Not someone people would stop to look at. Sometimes, when I dress up nicely and cover my face, I feel pretty. But deep down, I know I'm not. I have slightly flabby arms and my skin is a little pale. I have dark circles and old acne scars. Tons of other things too. But I've never felt less than because of that. I've never felt inferior. Until now.

I went to the Lounge every Friday because he came there some Fridays. I was desperate enough to go weekly just to watch him. Watch him dance, laugh with his friends, dance with a girl or sometimes leave the Lounge with one. That always put me in a sour mood. But then I'd go home and imagine myself being there, being with him, instead of that girl. I'd lie alone in my room, rubbing my clit furiously and think about all the lovely times we could have.

Of course, they were just fantasies. He was way out of my league. 6 feet tall, with beach blonde hair that fell over his forehead and a body that looked sculpted even covered with clothes, he looked like a swimwear model. So, I just went and took pleasure in watching him from afar. I never had enough confidence to approach a guy. The handful of sexual experiences I had were only because the guys came onto me. I had a boyfriend for a few months but he cheated on me and that was that. My pride never let me forgive him, even after he begged and apologized. Anyway, since I couldn't even talk to random guys, facing him, the guy in all my romantic fantasies since the last two years, was out of the question.

But I was in a depressing mood that night. After just being fired from my job, I had thought this guilty pleasure would be the only thing that could cheer me up. Unfortunately, it didn't. I got even more upset watching him and knowing I could never have him. So upset that I drank. And drank. And drank some more. While it wasn't enough for me to pass out right there, it was enough for me to let go of some of my inhibitions.

I said to myself, 'Just give it a try. What's the worst that could happen? He'll reject you. You can live with that.' With that in mind, I turned toward the bar. He was sitting there alone, waiting for his friends to arrive. He always came early. I know that because I ensured that I was always there before him.

Even with all the drinks, my heart was running a mile a minute. I was so nervous. He had a glass of whisky in front of him. With all the confidence I could muster, I went up right beside him and told the bartender, "Another glass for the gentleman. On me."

Quickly giving her the bill, I glanced at him. His eyebrows were raised. Then his eyes slowly went from my head to my toes and back again. I couldn't gauge his reaction. "Thank you," he said, with a tilt of his head. Even his voice was captivating to me. "I've seen you around. You like the Lounge a lot, huh?"

I don't. I hate it. It's too stuffy for me. "I do. The people that come here are usually very nice," I replied with what I hoped was a seductive smile, but am sure looked more like a grimace. I was too nervous. My palms were starting to sweat. He answered with a knowing smirk.

Lightly putting his hand on my waist, he nodded to the back gate, "You want to go out for a smoke?"

I hated cigarettes. Found them disgusting. "Sure, I'd love to." No way was I going to give up this opportunity.

He got up and started walking toward the door with me following right behind him, afraid that he would disappear. Afraid that this would all turn out to be my imagination. There was only one more girl outside. She was leaning right beside the door, smoking. He didn't stop. He kept walking toward the end of the lane. There was a dumpster there and he went and stood on the other side of it. It was radiating a slightly foul smell and I couldn't imagine why he'd choose this place but I didn't question him.

Leaning against the wall, his eyes assessed me again. There was no subtlety. He was checking me out and he was making it obvious too. That upped my confidence a little. So, when he said, "I've seen you watch me," I didn't completely turn into a blubbering mess. My cheeks reddened and I started fidgeting, but I wasn't at my worst yet. He smiled then. His thumb grazed my heated cheek. "You want to come to my place?"

YES YES YES "Sure, I'd love to," I squeaked. Looks like that is the only thing I could utter in his presence.

His fingers on the nape of my neck, his thumb grazed my lips. "You've seen the kind of girls I hang out with, right?" I had the sudden urge to lick his thumb. Afraid that I'll do something like that, I simply nodded. His fingers tightened slightly.

"Speak," although spoken softly, the sternness behind his word wasn't lost on me.

"Yes," I squeaked again, "they are very beautiful."

"They are. And you are...well, you are quite different from them. I've never taken someone like you home before."

"Someone like me?"

"Yeah, you know, someone not beautiful." My stomach plummeted. He said it so casually. Like he was just stating a fact.

"Oh" I didn't know what else to say. I could feel myself choking up. I didn't want to cry. Not here. Not in front of him.

"Hey hey, don't feel bad. I asked you to my place, didn't I?" He was right. He did. That calmed me a bit. "It's just that I like to be upfront. So, I want to know that you understand what's going to happen. We're going to my place to fuck. I'm going to fuck you. You get that, right?"

I nodded. His eyes cut to mine and I heard the silent command. "Yes, I know."

"Okay, so you know, since you're so...different from the girls I usually fuck, I thought we could just check if we're compatible or not before we waste anymore time, you know."

"I...uh...how?" He smiled again. His hand, now on my shoulder, pushed a little. I panicked. I knew what he wanted, but could I do it? Here and right now? My eyes quickly looked around. The girl wasn't there anymore. Besides, if I knelt, no one would be able to see me. We were only visible from the waist up at the moment. The dumpster was a good cover. But there was still no way I could do this, right? He saw my hesitance and removed his hand. I felt the loss in my bones. "Well, okay then," he said and shifted to move away.

"No!" I was panicking again, but for a different reason. "No, wait, please. You're right. You shouldn't be wasting your time like that."

He leaned back on the wall again, arms folded. "I'm glad we have an understanding." Then he raised his eyebrows. I knew what I had to do. And without his guidance this time. It would have been better if I had done it before itself. Now, it was all on me. I looked around again and knelt down before I lost my nerve. I looked up at him, waiting for him to make the next move. He freed one hand and gestured to his crotch. "Well?" He was losing his patience now. I could see that. My hand went to his belt and tugged. Button open. Zip down. I pulled his jeans toward me. The only thing separating us now was the thin cloth of his boxers. Not wanting to annoy him anymore, I tugged again. His semi erect cock jutted out. Looking at the cluster of pubes at the end, I knew I'd be picking out wiry blonde hair from my teeth later. His dick looked 7 inches or so but that wasn't what surprised me. It was how thick he was. I took a hold of it and my thumb and index finger couldn't meet. How was this going to fit in my mouth? Again, I glanced up at him and his expression was on the verge of boredom. Not wanting to waste this opportunity because of my prudishness, I leaned in and licked his head before I could think. He sighed. Happy that it was not a negative reaction at least, I licked his head completely, slowly trying to cover the rest of his dick with my tongue. When I reached a little past his middle, his hand dropped on my forehead, nudging slightly. I pulled back, but his fingers curled and grabbed the hair right above my forehead. My hand was still holding him. "Is this going to be a blow job or a hand job?" I let go and put them on my thighs, letting him guide me. He put my head back in front of his cock. My mouth was open, and he slowly pulled my face toward him. He was so gentle. I could do this. His other hand joined and he rested both of them on either side of my head, slowly guiding my face to take his cock in. It was more than halfway in now anyway.

"Look up." I did. "Do you want to control this? I don't mind. I just thought it'll be better if I took charge. Less chances of fucking this up that way, you know." I just stared. "So, you want me to let go" I quickly shook my head. No way. This was good. This way, I wouldn't have to make any decisions. He was right. This meant less chances of fucking up. "Use your words. I don't like when people don't respond properly. I'm not going to waste my time telling you again and again." We had only just started and he was already disappointed in me.

"Nnghh," I tried to speak with my mouth full of cock.

"Good girl," he caressed my hair and I felt at the top of the world. Then he thrust a little. His dick met my throat. I was going to gag. "Swallow". I did. He pulled back and pushed back in. This time I swallowed without being told and his dick went past my throat. Only a little, but better than before. We got into a rhythm then. He pulled, pushed, and I swallowed. Every time his cock went a little farther than before until I could feel his hair tickling my nose.

"Do you want me to teach you how to be better?"

"Ysghh"

"Alright. Swirl your tongue around. Yes, like that. Good. Now, I'm going to pull back and I need you to stick your tongue out, okay? Yes, like that." He thrust in completely again and I could taste his hairy balls. "Move your tongue. Cover as much as you can." I lapped like a thirsty woman. Nose pressed up to his hair, lips stretched obscenely, and tongue laving at his balls, I must have made a pretty picture because he smiled. "Alright. Better. But this is still too slow for my taste. My dick is going to sleep out of boredom this way." I lowered my eyes. His fingers tightened. "I do not like to repeat myself. Look up. Do you want to do this?"

I looked up instantly and another garbled 'Yes' came out of me.

"Then act like it. Your eyes should always be on my face," he said, and started moving my face back and forth again. Faster this time. It was more uncomfortable. Much more. But he was moaning deliciously and being uncomfortable was worth that. His pace increased. My jaw ached. My hands held on to his thighs. I was completely concentrated on controlling my gag reflex. He went harder and I felt his dick grow. Suddenly, he pulled me completely to himself, my nose flattened. I couldn't breathe. I tried to push away but he was lost in his ecstasy. I felt his cum down my throat and heard his groan, but I couldn't breathe and that made me panic. It made me pull away again, but he thrust in harder. I choked and his cum came out my nose and mouth. One last thrust and he wretched my face away. I took big gulps of breaths, panting like I'd just run a marathon. He was panting too. His hands still holding me by my hair, he said, "This would have been much better if you had controlled your breathing." I was still struggling to breathe, but what he said hurt more than the pain in my lungs. He sighed, "I don't have tissues on me. Do you mind?" He gestured toward the now satiated cock. I dove in, not wanting to disappoint him more. I licked his cock until it was shiny with my spit. Not sloppy though. Clean. I didn't stop after that either. What if I never got this chance again? What if he was done? I wanted to savor this moment. His hand pushed my forehead back. "Jeez, slow down." He pulled his boxer and jeans up. Me, still on my knees, cum covered face, looking up at him. "Clean your face." I looked around. How? "Ughh, get up." When I did, he grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it up. All the way up to my face. After using it to wipe my face, he let go of it. It was tight and bunched up right under my tits now. "Come on. Let's go. I think if you really try, I could teach you to be a good fuck. It'll take a lot of effort though, I can see that," he said and started walking toward the parking.

"Uh...can I..uhhh" I gestured toward my dress.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, of course, put your dress down. Do you want to get fucked by homeless men on the way?"

I fixed my dress and half jogged to him. He reached his car and got in the driver's side, after telling me to get in. Putting my seat belt on, I nervously waited for him to say something. He got out of the parking and onto the main road.

"Your tits look good in that dress." I smiled at him. "That was a compliment."

"I...thank you."

"Why don't you take them out so I can have a better look?" I didn't hesitate. I didn't think. I pulled my dress down. "Give the bra to me." I took it off and passed it to him. He threw it on the back seat and put his palm on my tit. Groping it. Weighing it. Then did the same with the other tit. "Not bad." He put his hand back on the wheel. We drove in silence to his house.

We passed my house on the way. I was surprised to find that he only lived two lanes away from me. He got out of the car and headed towards his door once we reached. I shrunk in myself and tried to follow him as fast as possible. My tits were still out but I didn't want to fix it without him telling me to. Once inside, he went and sat on the couch in front of the TV. Switching it on, he gestured to the floor at his feet. "Get rid of your clothes and come, sit." I thought of at least keeping my panties on but then changed my mind. No more fuck ups now. Just do like you're told. I knelt. He kept his right foot on my knee. "You want me to fuck you?"

"Yes."

"Keep the goods on show then, sweetie," he said, while nudging my knees apart.

"Okay."

His eyes flickered to the TV then, came back to my face, went to the TV again, and stayed there. Meanwhile, I knelt on the floor at his feet, my legs spread, and my eyes never straying from his face. He was watching a game. "Why don't you make yourself useful?" My hand immediately went to his jeans, wanting to pull them off. He jerked them away and made a disgusted sound. "No, thanks. I don't want to to go through that again. I'm thirsty. Get a beer from the kitchen." I stood and got the beer, kneeling down again after handing it to him. He ignored me for a while then. Concentrating on his game and his beer, never once looking at me. I know because my eyes stayed on his face the entire time.

Once his beer finished, he put it on the side table and got up, gesturing me to follow. We went to his room. He made me get on all fours on his bed and pushed my head down. My ass high, jutting out. "Have you ever gotten fucked before or are you one of those prudish virgins?"

"I have."

"You have, what? Respond properly. Use complete sentences. You make me say this again and you'd regret it"

"I have had sex before."

"So, you've gotten fucked before?"

"...Yes, I've gotten fucked before."

"How many men?"

"Four."

"Wow, that's a lot, huh. Kind of slutty of you." I remained silent. I guess he was right. What would I say to that anyway? His hand moved towards my pussy. Barely touching it. There, but still not there. "Why did they fuck you?"

"I don't understand."

"What's not to understand? Why do you think they fucked you? Let's start with the first boy. When was it? Why did he fuck you?"

"Um, we were 16 and it was the first time for both of us"

"Okay, so he wanted to lose his virginity. What about the second one?"

"He was a friend's brother. I'd just turned 18 and he had come home from college. We hooked up a few times during summer."

"This one wanted some fresh pussy. The next one?"

"I met him at a club and we spent the night together."

"Whew, you really are a slut, huh? Did you suck him off behind the dumpster too? Never-mind, don't answer that. This one just saw an easy cunt and grabbed the opportunity. Tell me about the last one."

"We dated in college."

"Are you still together?"

"No."

"Why did he break up with you?"

"I broke up with him. He cheated on me."

"Do you think it's his fault?"

"What?"

"Do you think it's his fault that he cheated on you? Shouldn't you take some responsibility? Maybe if he were getting what he wanted from you, he wouldn't have been looking elsewhere, right?"

"I...Maybe."

"Did he apologize?"

"Yes."

"Did you forgive him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have too much self respect for that."

He huffed out a laugh. "What's my name?" I stayed quiet. I didn't know. "So, you sucked my cock off behind a dumpster in a dark alley, sat in my car with your tits out, and are now spread on my bed like a 2 dollar whore sharing all your sordid stories and you don't even know my name. Do you really want me to believe you have any kind of self respect?" I had silent tears falling off and I was sniffing now. My position hadn't changed though. I felt his cock at my entrance. He was rubbing it over my pussy. I could feel the weird texture of the condom. "Do you want me to fuck your cunt?"

"Yes." He stilled. "Yes, I want you to fuck my cunt," I corrected quickly.

"Where are you manners? What do you say when you're asking someone for something?"

"...Please, I want you to fuck my cunt." He thrust in so quickly and completely that it would have hurt if I wasn't sopping wet. One of his hands grabbed the side of my hip and the other took hold of my hair, using it as a rein for his grip. I was so turned on, I could combust right there. My hand slipped under me, reaching my clit. He stopped.

"What are you doing?"

"I...uh...I'm just, I was only rubbing myself."

"That's disgusting. My cock is literally going limp right now." He grabbed my hand and pulled it back. "Give me your other hand as well." Taking both, he put them together, holding them with one hand at my lower back. His other hand still in my hair, he started fucking again. "Don't ever do that again. Watching that was gross. You're lucky I'm a patient man otherwise I would have kicked you out right then and there." One touch. One little touch and I could have cum. I just needed one touch on my clit. "There's no friction. Your cunt is really loose." He flipped me over and put my legs over my head. "Hold your legs. Let me see if this angle helps. God, this is even worse. At least I didn't have to look at your face before. Get on all fours again." I did and waited for him to pound into me again, but he didn't. Instead, I felt a cool liquid in my butt crack. "Have you ever had anal before?"

"No. Never."

"Well, you're going to now."

"You're too thick. I don't think I'd be able to take it."

"Well, I've already fucked your mouth and your cunt can't get me off. It's either this or we can say goodbye right away. What do you say? What's it going to be?"

"Yes."

"Yes, you want me to fuck your ass?"

"Yes, I want you to fuck my ass...please."

"Good girl." He spread the cool liquid and I felt his tip at my entrance, rubbing up and down. "I'm going to take your virginity, love. Isn't that romantic?" He pushed in a little. I cried. It hurt. It felt like burning. "Oh hush, you'll wake the neighbors up. Then what am I going to tell them? I'll have to show them why you were making such a noise then." I bit my lip but couldn't control the whimpers. "Oh, now you're overdoing it. I've barely got the head in. You just need to relax and it'll all be better."

"It hurts."

He pushed on my lower back. He was more than halfway in now. I could feel our thighs touching. "No, it doesn't. You just think it does. Stop being bratty. I'm telling you, my head isn't even completely in yet and you're already making such a ruckus."