When We Were Married Ch. 02D

He just looked at her and she couldn't tell if anything she said was sinking in.

"Anyway, thank you for letting the alimony drop," he said finally. "I know you don't want to feel dependent on me. But you know that if anything happened, I'd be there for you. And it wouldn't be charity. You're the mother of my children. We're not going to be -- so angry -- forever. We're still raising our kids and you need to financially able to take care of them. And we were married for most of our lives. I'll always be here for you."

She thought for a second and made a quick decision.

"Lew was very persuasive. I know now why you like him. He is a shark. When he -- explained things to me - I just realized I couldn't take the chance of losing my job right now. I might still go job hunting in the future, but not right now. Did he...tell you about our meeting?"

Bill just shrugged.

"Not in detail. He just said he convinced you it was smarter to drop the alimony. And everything else has been worked out. It's just a matter of getting the documents in the right order, and it's done."

Lew hadn't told him everything. It would be so easy to say a few words. Lew had been right. Bill wouldn't forgive him -- for awhile. It would pay them both back for being assholes about the alimony. But...

"It's history now, Bill. We can move on. Even if there are still some -- rough spots."

She stepped back from him and looked him up and down.

"The only thing I'm really pissed off about is that you finally went and started getting back into shape. After our marriage went into the trash. But, I guess, at least, the future Mrs. Maitland will reap the benefits."

"There won't be any more Mrs. Maitlands."

She tried to smile.

"You're going to make me feel even guiltier. I don't want to think that I put you off the idea of marital bliss forever. Just because we didn't make it, doesn't mean you won't find someone who will be in it for the long haul. Eighteen years ago we both thought we were going to be in it for life."

He shook his head and she got the feeling that he was dismissing her.

"I'd like to say it's all your fault. That you're just a cheating bitch. But I've had three months to think about what's happened. Right after -- you told me you wanted out -- I ran into a cop who cleared my mind. He made me see something I'd always known but hadn't wanted to admit. This prosecutor thing isn't just a job. It never has been. It's what I am.

"And because it is, it always came ahead of you and our children. I chose to put it ahead of you. I told myself you were being unreasonable, but you weren't. You only wanted what any wife wants -- to be number one in her husband's life. And you haven't been for ten years.

"I'm not going to do that again. Not going to put some other woman through that. I don't need any more children to ignore. I know what I am now and I'm content with that. I'll try to reconnect with the kids, but for the rest of it, I'm going to stick with what I do best. I guess some people just aren't meant to be married."

"We had a good run," she said.

"Better than many, Debbie. And we got two good kids out of the deal."

She stepped toward him, then stopped. Her eyes glistened.

"I feel like....I should say something."

He put his hand out and cupped her chin.

"Just say goodbye, babe."

After a moment.

"Goodbye."

He stepped back inside and closed the door. She watched him go back to the weight training machine and begin another set of reps. He never looked back at her.

She drove home. As she pulled into the garage and stepped inside she thought, "Things will never be the same again."

She went to her bedroom and ten minutes later Big John was vibrating wetly deep inside her and she was bouncing her ass up and down on the bed and moaning, and in her mind's eye she was sucking a sweetly hard 24-year-old cock in a UF dorm room and the next 18 years had never happened.

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Thursday July 7, 2005 -- 10:30 p.m.

I couldn't look back at her as I walked back to the Nautilus. Maybe she was telling the truth about not fucking Doug until after I smashed his face that Friday. And maybe she hadn't been fucking around on me when she was running around on me behind my back. But she had never taken back those fatal words -- I just don't love you any more. Nothing else mattered.

If you don't love somebody, what was the point of living with them, trying to make a life with them.

I stopped in mid-lift. She hadn't told me about Lew's ultimate threat. The one that broke her resistance. Lew had told me everything, of course. I'd been pissed, as he'd known I would be, but deep down I always knew he'd go to the wall to win. He never stopped until he got what he wanted. And what he wanted was usually the right thing. It's one of the things I've liked about him. He did what I couldn't do.

It would have been so easy for her to tell me, assuming it would wreck our friendship. Why hadn't she? Just another surprise from a woman who after 20 years of marriage and courtship could still surprise me. Of course, the big surprise had ruined my life.

Still, I had told her the truth. She had betrayed me by falling in love, or in lust, with another man. She had run around on me. But I had left her first. So now I was sweating alone in a gym while I was sure she was or soon would be bouncing under Doug's big cock in what had been our home.

But I found that thought didn't hurt me as much as it had three months before. Time does heal all wounds, or at least it helps you to scar up.

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