Untamed

So many people want this to be untrue. It was unexpected and yes, I never imagined it could happen. But I can vouch for its truth because I was there. We were travelling home from a visit to distant friends and spent the night in a large modern hotel by the main road. The place was busy with a business awayday. Tired execs filled the bar before dinner, the men all dressed in the same navy business suits and relating their dreary adventures to one another. I took one look and suggested we rest on our bed until ready to eat. Julie insisted on having a drink.

"They look like a fun crowd. I wonder who they work for."

I went to the bar while Julie searched for a free table. It took a while to get my drinks and when I found her, she was seated at the end of a table shared by others.

"Guess who they work for?" she said, adding her throaty chuckle. I shook my head and she gave the name of a multinational internet company.

I was feeling tired and apathetic. "Management doublespeak and boys with their toys. How did you find out?"

"I asked someone."

I'd call Julie shy. She didn't usually speak to strangers unless she had to. "Who did you ask?"

"It's that good-looking young man over there."

I glanced over at the man. He was in his late twenties with all his own hair and he was staring at us -- or Julie -- in a careless, conceited manner.

"I bet he's in marketing," I said to dismiss him.

Conversation dried up. We had little to say to one another at the best of times. We'd had a busy night and day with the family of an old schoolfriend of Julie's -- enjoyable but exhausting because they'd spent the who time bitching and insisting that we admire their new furnishings. The friend had a wealthy husband, a big house and three young children. Julie had none of these. I sipped my drink quickly, wanting to get away. Julie fiddled nervously with her martini.

"Let's get to bed early," I suggested, thinking she might welcome the idea.

She looked surprised and glanced round the bar as if seeing it for the first time. "We've paid for the hotel and it looks rather splendid. I intend to make the most of it."

"There's not much we can do at this time of the evening except have a meal."

"You think so?" I saw a look of mischief as she suddenly smiled. "Just watch me. Maybe this is just a game, so don't get upset. I'm going over to have another chat with Grant. I think he's lovely."

"You what?" I jerked properly awake. "Who's Grant?"

"The boy I spoke to. He's over there looking at me now. Admit he's very sexy."

I looked from Julie to the man at the bar. He had a beer and was watching her. Julie was alive with energy all of a sudden.

"But...but, you can't go and chat up a stranger in a bar."

"Why not? Surely you don't resent me having a bit of fun."

"But hang on, you mean go up and flirt with him?"

"Who knows? That's a very prurient way of putting it. I think you'll be proud to have such an accomplished wife." She looked challengingly at me. "Of course Grant may not be interested and I may have to be very persuasive. Or he may be a dutiful husband with a pretty wife at home who demands to know about every woman he's spoken to. But if he likes me there's no harm in getting to know him. Go to bed if you're tired and I'll join you later."

"No way."

"Then you'll have to watch."

I'd thought it was only words, but she slipped from her chair and went across to the irritating young exec, who seemed unsurprised by her coming to talk to him. I watched dumbfounded as they turned their backs and he bought her another drink. Then they moved further down the bar so that they were partly hidden. But I could see laughter and eager conversation. Grant was staring hard at the cleavage revealed by Julie's loose shirt and she was gazing deep into his eyes. Furious with her and with myself, I turned away and stared at my drink. Whatever she was up to, I wasn't going to play.

The minutes passed and I couldn't make sense of what was happening. I'd say that Julie was averagely interested in sex. She didn't often initiate things between us, but she was mostly happy to go along with whatever I wanted and seemed to enjoy herself. But she'd never revealed any interest in other men even to joke with me. She was a conformist in most things -- she didn't dress sexily, but then she had a trim figure from exercise and liked to show off her legs in a skirt. There's an old word -- comely -- I'd use to describe her. She certainly didn't stand out in a crowd. She's the sort of person you appreciate the more you know her. It was her smile that hooked a man, as I knew to my cost.

I mostly refrained from looking towards the bar and was sunk in my thoughts when Julie eventually flopped beside me and gave me a kiss and a happy grin.

"Yes, don't say it, I've been really naughty. But it was so much fun talking to Grant. He's intelligent and kind and it was interesting hearing him talk about what he hopes to do with his life. Mind, he can only talk about himself, but that's because he's young."

"A narcissist..."

She put up her hand to stop me. "I haven't finished. I have a confession. He put his hand on mine and I let him."

"Oh." I was shocked and slightly embarrassed, as if I'd inadvertently walked in on two lovers. "What about me? Does this friend of yours make a habit of seducing wives in front of their husband?"

"He didn't seduce me. And in any case, I told him you were my uncle."

"You what?"

"Aren't you proud of me? He really likes me. But that's not all. Don't get cross because this is just a game and -- admit it! -- you're as curious as me to see what happens. Grant's invited your straight-laced wife to have another drink with him after dinner. I've accepted. I told him you were tired and would go to bed after we'd eaten. Come on, admit that's exciting and that you didn't think I had the nerve."

"Yes I'm shocked."

It was an understatement. I sat there unable to come up with anything to say. We went to dinner and it was difficult to ignore Julie's preoccupation. No doubt I was subdued, processing the idea of Julie going for a drink with a stranger. It seemed out of character, unbelievable even. I remembered what she'd said about Grant looking good. Was this some weird expression of sexual chemistry, that after years of marriage Julie had been turned on by the interest of a younger man, a man she couldn't resist?

Curiously I didn't feel angry or jealous, but apprehensive and anxious to know what would happen. There were obvious flaws in our relationship and this was something new. At lot of the time we had little to say to one another, few interests in common and unsteady tempers when we were tired or stressed from work. Was Julie walking away from all this -- literally? It was as if we'd stepped into an alternative world where we lived the lives we wanted instead of the one that held us trapped.

I dallied over my coffee as long as I could. Eventually Julie checked her watch impatiently and told me she had to go.

"Do I look okay, or do I need to freshen up, change into something more sexy?"

"You know you look great. You've already snared this impressionable Grant."

"That's kind of you to say so. Now I don't want you getting in the way so go to our room. I don't suppose I shall be long. Half an hour -- or an hour at most."

"What are you going to do?"

"Sit in the bar and talk I expect. I just love to be with him and he's so appreciative of my company."

"You'll not go to his room."

She looked startled, then laughed. "Is that what you want? You think your sedate and proper wife might slip off with a stranger to his bedroom while your back's turned? It's a thought, but it's not going to happen. Now do what you're told."

I left the restaurant but didn't do as I was told. Earlier I'd seen that there was a dark terrace beyond the glass doors at the end of the bar where one or two of the execs went for a smoke. After trying a few doors, I found a way onto the terrace without going through the bar and positioned myself in the darkness, well back from the windows.

It didn't take long for the lovers to appear. They sat at the bar, Julie with her legs crossed and showing to advantage, the young man laughing and at ease with the situation. At one point he tapped her knee. It looked proprietorial rather than lascivious. Then she patted his hand and he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. There was no missing the feeling behind this -- and for me it felt like I'd been shot by a crossbow. The game was moving fast and I wondered whether I should walk in on the couple -- or maybe walk the other way, collect my things and leave.

Before I could reach any decision, the pair got up and I thought they were going to his room. But they came towards the windows and I realised that they were coming outside. I retreated into the further darkness, horrified that they might see me. But they passed without a glance, absorbed by their own company.

I lost sight of them for a minute, then crept back towards the light from the hotel. They were leaning against a tree on a small lawn beyond the car park, a spotlight throwing garish colours across their faces. I was breathing hard as I watched them kiss, arms round one another. I should stop them. They crushed themselves together until after an age I was shocked to realise that Grant's hand was on Julie's breast. Then it was on her thigh, then pressing her skirt between her legs. Even more shocking was to see her hand rubbing his crotch as she looked down to examine the bulge in his trousers.

What had this man done to her? This wasn't my Julie and I watched in disbelief as she let him put his hand under the hem of her skirt. She was leaning against the tree, knees weak, head thrown back. Her skirt was rucked up and I guessed he must be fingering her. The scene continued for ages.

Had Julie gone mad, or had Grant driven her to the point of excitement where she'd lost control of her senses? I was rooted into the shaded flower border where I lurked, deprived of action by the sight of my wife lost in animal sex. I'd never seen her like this before. It seemed that a long time passed. Then I saw that she'd released his cock and had both hands round it. She's going to fuck him, I told myself. I have to stop this.

But I remained in the shadows, unable to move. Instead I watched her rub him. After an excruciating age she knelt in front of him. The thing was in her mouth and I could see her rocking backwards and forwards on her heels. He put his hand in her hair to steady her and added to her motion with thrusts of his pelvis.

I could feel it. It was as if she was doing it to me. I groaned and thrust my hand against my mouth. I had to get away. Released suddenly from my border, I more or less ran through the undergrowth back to the terrace, and from there to my room. In a panic I hid my earthy shoes, flung off my clothes, showered and jumped into bed.

The rush was unnecessary because it was ten minutes before Julie pushed her way into the room. Her hair had fallen out of its pins and her makeup was smeared but she had an eager smile and looked pleased to see me.

"Still awake? Not so tired after all?"

"You okay?"

"I'm great. I hope you weren't bored waiting."

"You fucked him then."

"I didn't. You wished I had?" She gave me a reproving look. "I should have done because it's what he wanted. In any case, what we did is nearly as bad. You may not believe this but I sucked him off. It seemed the least I could do for making me happy."

There was a pause to let us both digest this announcement. Julie had never been very keen on sucking me off. She thought it messy and unnecessary.

"You didn't..."

"See. I did." She turned her head to show a spot where her hair was tangled and glued together. "See what a debauched wife you have. And how much I've learned."

I'd seen her do it with my own eyes, but it was still a shock to listen to her account of sucking off a stranger. She must hate me. "What else did he do?"

"I'm sorry but I was carried away."

Was she about to admit that they fucked? It was so easy to imagine her pressed up against the tree with him thrusting against her. I pictured again that impressive digit in her hand. She spread her legs and her panties had gone. Her labia were inflamed, her sex wet.

"He got his fingers inside me. I was so excited."

"My god. You were so turned on you'd have let him do anything. You want him to fuck you."

"I'm sorry. I realise we have to do it. It'll just be sex. I'll enjoy myself and then we'll forget it."

"You mean you're really going to do it."

"I've said I'll meet him tomorrow, early before anyone's up." She giggled uneasily and watched my face. "We'll have an hour together, then I'll be your wife again, ready for breakfast. I'll be able to tell you all about it."

"Don't be disgusting."

"But you'd like to hear. Admit it."

I was unable to think, lost in a conversation I never thought I'd hear. Julie was telling me she wanted to have sex with a stranger and was begging me to say it was okay. I wanted to say no, but I was also gripped by the sudden drama, compelled to see it through. In one way or another, this nightmarish act would change everything. Instead of telling her no, I prevaricated.

"I don't know why you think that. You sound besotted."

"Maybe I am. I have to do this, you know that."

"You could tell him to get lost."

"But I shan't."

"What if I say you can't to do it -- that you're my wife."

"I am your wife but you won't stop me. You're excited too by seeing me out of control. You like this side of me. Nothing that happens in this hotel will matter in the least once we've left.

Naked, she got into bed beside me and there was no mistaking her intentions. My first thought was to resist her, to show her how much she'd hurt me. But moments later we were making love. It was like nothing we'd done together before. She was on fire and I was violently intent on my pleasure. It exhausted us both and while it lasted it obliterated everything else. We rolled apart, satisfied for once that we'd missed nothing.

"You wished that was Grant," I said after a moment to get my breath."

"I did. I want to feel his full length stretched inside me. I think he'll be a very skilful lover. But you were very good. And we were much better together with Grant spurring us on."

I fell asleep thinking, "She can't do it. She won't." Playing relentlessly through my mind was the scene I'd witnessed in the garden. It made me hot and restless but Julie was sound asleep beside me. I followed her shortly after and was wracked by mind-boggling dreams.

The next morning I woke suddenly from an ugly dream in which I was being forced to suck off Grant. It was six o'clock and the bed beside me was empty. My instant thought was regret that I hadn't stopped Julie. I lay in a stupor, taunted by her absence and the lingering memories of the dream, desperate to know what she was doing.

Eventually I got up. Water on the floor of the bathroom showed that Julie had showered before returning to her lover. Her intention was to go through with her plan. All the same, I wished I knew for certain. I showered and went down to breakfast.

I'd asked for more coffee and was on the last of the toast before the two showed up. Julie looked fresh and happy -- well-fucked was how you might put it. The young man looked wary and glum -- an expression of post-coital angst? I saw no reason to make the meeting easy for him.

"You took your time. Couldn't get an erection?"

He looked surprised, but not intimidated.

"There's no need to talk like that. I know Julie's your wife. She told me. What we had was a beautiful thing and you shouldn't try to spoil it. She said you don't mind."

"I do bloody mind. You should have asked."

"Shut up both of you. I'm hungry," said Julie, sitting down. "Go away Grant and leave me with my husband."

Julie was clearly pleased with herself and had no intention of apologising for anything. She drank my coffee and looked round for more. A waiter came and took her order.

"Are you going to ask me what happened?" she demanded when he'd gone.

"Is there anything to tell? You fucked."

She nodded primly. "We did and it was very good. Grant's very athletic. I've no complaints at all because it's everything I expected."

Suddenly I felt free. It was in the past. It was done. There was no point in brooding. My way was to move on and make the best of things.

"Remember, nothing that happened here counts once we leave," she said.

"Agreed."

"But I can't forget what I know. The sex was unbelievable and I enjoyed teasing you about it. And I like having a handsome, athletic young man on my arm. I mean it's not just about what happened in the bedroom, but the whole package -- the drinks, the flirting in the bar, seeing the looks of the other men, feeling special, the first kiss. Sorry, but that's the woman you're married to."

"You want to see Grant again."

"Maybe. But there are lots of men like Grant -- with excess energy and an underutilised sex drive. I shan't be short of playmates. Be warned. From now you'll never be safe. Just when you want to relax with a drink I'll catch some fancy man's eye and we'll be off."

"It sounds like an exhausting life."

Weeks passed and nothing more was said about the crazy episode. We followed out normal routines -- work, evening meal at home together, bed, visiting friends and relatives at the weekend. It was hard to think of Julie as the woman who'd seduced a stranger and come back to tell her husband about the great sex. It sometimes seemed that she'd forgotten it happened because when I mentioned Grant she was impatient with me and changed the subject. I found it less easy to forget and, of course, everything had changed.

It was Saturday morning, about a month later. We'd played badminton at the Leisure Centre in a hard game that unusually I lost in the final set. As was our habit, we sat down for a drink in the café before doing the weekly shopping. I was analysing the reasons for my loss, which I blamed on an injury rather than technique, when I became aware of a man a few tables away staring at Julie. I pointed him out, thinking to make a joke of it. Suddenly everything was different, as if I'd pressed a switch. And suddenly I was way behind the game.

Julie inspected the man in silence for a while and smiled at him.

"You think I can't handle him? You think he's too much for me?" she demanded suddenly.

"I don't think that," I replied lamely.

She was still excited from winning the game. I had a flash of insight, realising that her enthusiasm for the wild side was a question of mood -- I guessed a combination of hormones and atmosphere. I wished I'd not mentioned the man.

"I think he's rather distinguished and good looking despite the bald patch."

"But he's older than me," I protested in sudden fury. "And he has a big nose."

"Doesn't that mean he has a big cock?"

"I thought that was big feet."

She giggled and I knew the game was on. "What do you think? Fifty-fifty? Eighty-twenty? Come on, how do you rate my chances?"

"Leave him alone. He's doing no harm."

"Don't tell me you're jealous of that old man. I like the way he smiles at me. I guess I'm not dressed the part, but I could have a try at him."

"We have to do the shopping."

"Tell you want, you do the shopping. I'll meet you at home at six."

She jumped up and crossed the café, taking the seat opposite the man. They leaned forward, speaking eagerly as if the meeting had been expected.

The game was lost and I wasn't going to watch my own losing set. I walked away from the café but made it only as far as the equipment shop in entrance to the Centre. There I took an interest in the racquets and the swimming goggles and gave a detailed examination to the whole stock. I was waiting for I don't know what and came out into the sunshine just in time to greet Julie and her new man as they left. She held his hand and gave me a smile and a thumbs-up, her neat, slight figure and his large, untidy fame making them an odd couple. I watched as they walked to the car park. Julie's rump, encased in tight black leggings, imparted a jaunty swing. The sun was shining, she was off on a new adventure and she was Top Cat.