Unseen Love

"That's... Wow, that's great. Thanks. Are you sure I have enough points for that?"

"Danny, you're doing a good thing here. This is on us. Keep your points. You've helped us out a few times and Marriott is happy to return the favour."

"Alyssa..." I had to stop for a second. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I'll email you the confirmation number. The shuttle driver can take her to the hospital if it would help and the staff have gloves and masks. I can pry some free for her if she doesn't have any."

I was quiet for a minute.

"Danny?"

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks. That's a lot more than I was hoping for. I really, really appreciate this, Alyssa. Truly."

"Honestly? It feels good to be able to do something like this right now, you know? Don't worry about it, Danny. It's our pleasure. Give my best to your friend. We all have grandmas, right?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Thanks, Alyssa."

"You're more than welcome. I'll send that over right now."

After I got the email, I sent Bella a DM.

Meet me on the balcony? 2 mins?

She responded quickly.

Sure.

I waited until I heard her door slide open. "Hey, I have some news."

"Is it that you're tangled in the web of lies trying to convince me that 'ka' is a real word and you're finally ready to come clean?" she teased.

"Good guess, but considering 'ka' is a real word and I'm not lying, you're wrong."

"Damn. I'll get you to admit it one of these days." Bella laughed and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Okay, Mr. Smarty-Pants, what's the news?"

Suddenly nervous, I cleared my throat. "Well, um, I don't know if you know what I do for a living... that's dumb, of course you don't know, I haven't told you. I work as a... a travel writer, I guess is the best way to describe it. So I have some connections and stuff and a whole bunch of travel points that I never use."

I paused, waiting to see if she would say anything, but there was only silence from the other side of the balcony.

"There's a Marriott in downtown Pueblo that wants to give your mom a two-week stay. They wouldn't take my points, so if she needs more than two weeks, she can stay longer and I can use the points for that. I just need, um, your email address, I guess. To send you the... the info."

There was still no response. I grimaced, my palms suddenly incredibly sweaty.

"Bella?"

"Why?" Her voice was watery.

"Why what?"

"Why..." Her voice caught and she sniffed.

Fuck. I'd misread the situation and meddled where I shouldn't have.

"Bella, I'm sorry, don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you or, you know, do something you didn't want. I'm really sorry. I just thought that—"

"For such a smart guy, you're kind of dumb." Her words were punctuated with a wet-sounding laugh.

I froze, not sure what to say.

"I'm not crying because I'm sad," she said. "This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, but you don't even know me. Why are you doing this?"

"I dunno. It seemed... neighbourly," I said feebly.

Bella laughed again. "I can't thank you enough. This means the world to me, Danny. My grandma..."

Her voice broke again and I cringed as she sobbed. I was a little rusty when it came to talking to women. Did they always cry so much, or was that just a Bella thing? More importantly, why did I feel that sick sense of pride, knowing she was so overwhelmed by what I'd done that she couldn't help but cry?

"Hey, it's okay," I said awkwardly. "I wasn't using the points anyway and it's no big deal. They would've just expired. And, um, we're best friends, remember? Anyway, you can make it up to me."

"How could I possibly make this up to you?" she sniffed.

"By accepting that 'ka' is a word and—"

"I fucking knew you'd say that!" She laughed in that weird sort of way again, thickly, but still beautifully. "Fine. I'll allow your bribery just this once."

"Worth it."

She made a soft, almost sad noise. "I really, really wish I could hug you right now."

"I dunno if hugs are illegal yet, but that definitely doesn't maintain a socially acceptable distance of two metres."

"Danny?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"You're the best best friend ever."

Those words made me smile for the rest of the day, long after I had kicked Bella's ass in another game of Words With Friends and gone to bed, staring up at the ceiling as I thought about her.

Lockdown Day 17

"Well fuck."

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

I grinned. "Yeah, not really."

"Never thought I'd be taken down by 'cookies,'" Bella sighed. "One day I'll beat you, Danny. You'll be sitting there all confident, all certain you're going to win again, and then out of nowhere BAM!"

I jumped slightly as she banged her hand against what was probably the table she had on her balcony.

"I look forward to it," I laughed. "Wanna play again?"

"In a bit. I need a brain break. Refill my word gauge, you know."

"Ah, okay. Yeah, I still have some work to do, too, so—"

"Stay out and talk with me a bit," she said.

It was a good thing she couldn't see me. I was grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah, I can do that, too. What do you want to talk about?"

Bella thought for a moment. "You said you're a travel writer?"

"Yeah."

"So you must have been to some pretty cool places."

I chuckled dryly. "I don't actually get out all that much."

"Yeah, right," she snorted.

"I don't," I said, shrugging. "I've written about a lot of stuff in Toronto, but I mostly do travelogues for people who travel but don't want to write about it."

"Hmm." Bella was quiet for a moment. "Okay, so tell me about Toronto."

"What do you want to know?"

"What's the first thing I should go see when the lockdown is over?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, I mean there's all the typical stuff. Hockey Hall of Fame or the CN Tower or whatever. But honestly... well, you like architecture and stuff, right?"

"I'm a junior architect so, yeah, I generally like to think I like architecture."

"Smartass," I muttered, and she laughed. "You'd probably really like to go check out Weston."

"What's Weston?"

"It's really just a neighbourhood, but it used to be a village that got incorporated into the city. It's just got a cool vibe, lots of unique houses and stuff. Really nice parks. I think there's a farmer's market there on the weekend."

"Sounds cool," Bella said. "Maybe you and I could go for a walk there someday."

I didn't respond immediately.

"Danny?"

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, something like that, maybe."

"I mean, we could go for a walk wherever, really. Just to like, get out of the apartment, couldn't we?"

"It's pretty risky," I said. "I... I just don't want to take the chance."

"I get it," she said. "I'm being pushy. Sorry."

"It's fine, you're not wrong. You should go for a walk or whatever, if you want to. I have a list of parks that are kind of like hidden gems, should be less busy if you want to check them out."

"No, it's okay." Bella sounded a bit sad. "You're right, it's too risky."

"Sorry."

We fell quiet and I wasn't sure what to say to break the tension. Luckily, Bella seemed to have a talent for blurting out whatever she happened to think.

"How old are you?" she said suddenly.

"Um, 27."

"Do you live alone?"

I chuckled awkwardly. "Uh, yeah."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"What is this, twenty questions?"

Bella laughed. "I'm just trying to get to know you."

"Oh. Well, no, I don't. Do you?"

"No, and I don't have a boyfriend either. I just moved here, remember?"

"I dunno, maybe you were doing the long-distance thing or something."

I tried to picture Bella as we spoke. It was hard since I had no idea what she looked like, but her voice was smooth and her laugh was bright. There was no photo on her Words With Friends account, but given her name, I was picturing an Italian girl with a warm smile and fiery brown eyes. She had to be beautiful, I knew that much. She sounded beautiful.

It didn't really matter what she looked like. She was a pipe dream, really, but I liked talking to her. She seemed to like talking to me too, though given that we were locked in apartments and she didn't know anyone else in the city, that might have just been because I was the only one around.

That didn't matter, either. Whatever her reasoning was, I was enjoying getting to know her.

"Danny?"

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked.

"Am I boring you already?"

"No, I just got lost in thought. Sorry."

"You apologize too much," she said.

"Sorr... um, I mean. Yeah, I guess."

Bella's laugh echoed, bubbly, and loud. I couldn't help laughing with her.

"Come on, let's play another game. I might have a chance with you being all distracted."

"You're on," I said, grabbing my phone.

Lockdown Day 18

"What about that little park across the street? Anything interesting there? Some historical figure born there or something?"

The leaves on the fake plant on her balcony rustled and I wondered if she actually pointed when she spoke.

"Sadly, no. They did catch the Toronto Streaker there. It was big news in the '70s. Some guy wearing a mask was streaking all around the city. They finally caught him in the park."

"Spoilsports."

I laughed.

"Hey, Bella, you like Theo Barker? The singer that dated that actress?"

"Um, yeah. I guess."

"He's playing live from his house twice a week. Free on Facebook Live. He's taking tips, but all the money is going to buy PPE for healthcare workers."

"That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. He said he's going to do a decade a week, starting with hits from the 60's."

"He should do something with that little girl."

"What little girl?"

"You didn't see it? She's all over YouTube and Ellen Degeneres interviewed her. She's doing something similar, I guess. She's playing a couple of times a week. She lives by Grandma, in Pueblo. It's crazy, she gets these huge stars to either play with her or sing while she plays. I saw the interview. She said someone named Mr. Mike gets them to play with her. Ellen said he was a manager or producer or something and that she'd met him years ago and he was pretty scary."

"She's a teenager or something?"

"No, younger. Like ten. And honestly, she's not that good, but really earnest. Elton John, Taylor Swift, and some others sang remotely. Crazy. She says she wants to be like her uncle. Cute kid."

"Send me a link."

"I guess I could, for my Toronto best friend, but for you? I don't know."

I laughed. "Did I get demoted?"

"Of course you did. Toronto has a museum of shoes and you didn't tell me?"

"Oh, the Bata Museum? Yeah. It's down by St. George Station."

"And you were keeping this to yourself? How dare you?"

I could hear the laughter in her voice. "Fine. Send me the link to the little girl, and I'll get you the best way to get to the museum."

"Okay. So, do me another favour?"

I was hoping she wasn't going to ask to meet me or something.

"Danny?"

"Sorry, zoned out for a minute. Sure. What can I do?"

"Go to your door and get the box."

"You... Bella, what did you do?"

"It's nothing, seriously. Just grab it before someone comes along and swipes it, okay?"

I sighed. "Okay. Back in 15?"

"Sounds good."

Going to the door, I was wondering if she was going to be standing by hers waving or something. Taking a few deep breaths, I opened my door, saw no one, grabbed the box, and went back in. It was full of canned food. Stews, Chef Boyardee, and a box of cakes you could make in a coffee cup in your microwave now sat on my kitchen table.

I went back out to the balcony.

"You there?"

"Right here."

"What the heck, Bella? That was, I don't know, that was really nice. Can I ask why?"

"I never hear you talking about cooking or anything and I put in an Instacart order and, well, I was a little worried about you and... Look, I'm rambling. Truth? I needed to do something. My mom, well, she's trying so hard to hold it together, but if she wasn't near Grandma she'd be a wreck. You have no idea how much it means, what you did with the hotel and everything."

For fuck's sake. She was sharing her canned food with me and I didn't even think of getting something delivered for her. I have a refrigerator full of fruits, vegetables, and meat and she's living off Alphagetti. I felt like crap.

"That's... That's really nice, Bella. Thank you. Really."

We spoke for a while more, but I kept looking at the sun as the time went by and finally got back inside and to my phone. It took me a minute to look up her private number and I was hoping she'd still be in as I dialled.

"Agrippa Imports."

"Hi, Marcia? This is Danny Callaway from YourOntario? Um, I sort of need a favour."

"Mr. Callaway! Of course. Thanks for calling me back. Again. We've been turning away business with your listing. We don't have enough hours in the day. What can I do for you?"

"Well, you said you have access to poultry and dairy, right? What are the chances that I can get a delivery by tomorrow? I'll pay, I'm not asking for anything free or anything. Oh, do you have chocolate? And maybe a cake? A real one?"

"A real one?"

"Yeah, not out of a microwave or... whatever. Look, whatever you can do would be great."

I was still half asleep with a coffee in my hand when I heard a faint thumping followed by Bella yelling.

"Danny! Danny!"

Sliding the door to the balcony open, I went outside.

"Morning."

"Morning? That's all you have to say?" There was a catch in her voice. "Danny, what did you do?"

"What did I... Oh, sheesh, it's like 8:30, did they get here already?"

She didn't answer for a second. "There was like eggs and chicken and some weird Greek soda and milk and a cake. A giant freaking cake, Danny! You... I don't know. Seriously, I don't know what to say. With not knowing anyone here, and my Mom losing her shit and Grandma and... Just being able to talk to you has sort of kept me sane and then this... You have to let me pay you back. Do you Venmo?"

"No, we don't, um, have Venmo here, but it's fine. It wasn't a big deal. I don't get out much, so I use a lot of delivery services. They owed me a favour, so really, the only thing that was out of the ordinary was the quick delivery. I'll get you their info and you can order whenever you want. Really, it wasn't a big deal."

"Don't say that. It was."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever."

"Don't whatever me, Danny. It was."

"Okay. Look, I have to get some work started. Can we talk later?"

"You trying to ditch me? I'm kidding. Sure. I'll talk to you later."

Five minutes later I was sitting in front of my laptop, my niece's face taking up the whole screen.

"Good morning, Peanut."

"I'm not a peanut!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Good morning, Potato Chip."

She giggled. "I'm a person!"

"Well, good morning, Person! You need to back up a little so I can see your brother."

"Okay." She backed up and John came into view over his bowl of cereal. She continued. "Uncle Danny, I learned a new song, wanna hear it?"

Not waiting for my answer, she launched into her song. Plastering a smile on my face, I waited until the end.

"Wow, that was really good. How are you doing this morning, John?"

He kept eating.

"John?"

He kept eating.

"Um, John?"

"I'm not John anymore. My name's Gorilla."

"What? I can't believe the two of you. Your sister wants to be called Person and now you're Princess Gorilla?"

He tried not to smile.

"No, just Gorilla."

"Yeah, I heard you. Pretty Pink Gorilla."

"Noooooo. Just Gorilla."

"Mrs. Gorilla?"

"Uncle Danny! Just Gorilla!"

"Okay, got it. So, how's your cereal, Just Gorilla?"

John pretended to be angry and I pretended to believe him. Felicia put her face up to the computer again.

"Uncle Danny, I wrote a story about our block. Wanna put it on your site?"

"Really? A whole story? That's fantastic. You know, I have a better idea. Why don't we get you your very own site!"

"We can?"

"Sure we can. We'll call it ILoveUncleDanny.com."

"Um..."

"Or we can use your name."

"Yeah, I like that one."

We spoke for another ten minutes until Mark got on.

"Hey, you good?"

"Yeah. What are you feeding those kids, pure sugar and caffeine?"

He laughed. "Try living with them. Listen, I'm dropping off some Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer. I'll be there around 3:00."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Mark, I have four bottles of Purell spray, six cans of Lysol and tons of hand sanitizer. I'm fine."

"Yeah." He pursed his lips. "Humor me, okay?

I was clenching my fists but attempting to remain calm. He wasn't trying to be insulting. "I've been humouring you for 10 years."

Looking sad, there was a beat before he responded. "For... Look, can we not do this again, Danny? Seriously, I don't need this shit today. It happened. Deal with it. Yeah, it sucks, I was there every day, but you've got to move on."

Felicia's voice rang out. "Daddy." We both ignored her.

"Look, you can't, on the one hand, tell me to move on, whatever the hell that means, and then, on the other hand, mother me. It just doesn't make sense and even if it did, I don't need it or want it."

"Dad!"

"Just a minute, Felicia." He turned back to me. "Okay. I'm not... I just worry, all right? Let's not do this. I'll be there by 3:00. I'll call as I'm leaving. You need any food or meds or anything?"

Sighing, I looked away from the screen. "No. I'm good."

"Daddy!"

"What, Felicia?"

"You said the S word. You have to put money in the swear jar."

He smiled. "Okay, let me finish talking to Uncle Danny." Mark again focused on me. "I'm going to email some drawings the kids did for you. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah. Bye."

Man, he could be annoying.

Lockdown Day 20

"...yeah, Mom, I'll tell him... please tell her I love her. I miss you... okay. Call me later. Bye."

Bella hung up, sighing.

"Sorry about that," she called from her balcony. "My mom says hi and thank you for the millionth time."

"No worries," I replied. "Gave me time to think of a new word."

"A real word this time, or another one of your made-up bullshit words?"

"Ouch. Harsh."

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

"It didn't, Bella. I'm joking."

She half-laughed but didn't say anything.

"How's your grandma?" I asked gently.

She didn't respond right away, which was response enough. Still, she finally took a shaky breath before speaking.

"Not good. She's just... not good."

"I'm sorry."

"I really wish I could be there." Her voice was tense, like she was speaking through a tightened throat, fighting to keep back tears. "I'm scared this is it."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

What else could I say? What else could anyone say these days?

"It is what it is," she said. "Fuck, it just sucks. You know?"

I nodded, forgetting she couldn't see me.

"If I'd known before I left what was going to happen... honestly, Danny, I probably wouldn't have left. I would have turned the job down."

"Do you think that's what your grandma would have wanted?" I asked.

"No," she said, and her voice cracked. "She would have told me to go."

I'd never wanted to hug someone quite as badly as I wanted to give Bella a hug right then. It was a strange feeling, craving that closeness, and I swallowed hard in an attempt to make it go away.

"Tell me about her," I said instead.

"About my grandma?" she asked.

"Yeah. What's she like?"

Bella's voice was warm. "She's the craziest old lady in the nursing home. Someone forgot to tell her that she's almost 80 because she acts like a teenager half the time. Like, you never think of partying with your grandparents but I always did. And she loves my grandpa so much. He passed a couple of years ago now, and just... I mean, you hear people talk about how they feel incomplete when they lose their partner, but Grandma isn't like that. She's just unwaveringly hopeful."