Unconditional Love

I haven't taken the time to write down a few of my thoughts in quite a while now. So, I thought it was time to give you a bit of reading material to let you know about something that happened in my life. I am aware that my stories tend to be on the sexual nature, this one does involve sex a bit but there is more to the story than meets the eye. Sex is not everything in a relationship, but it is a huge driving force in a couple's life. Some people would say that sex is one thing and making love is another. I will agree with them in a sense, but this story isn't about all that, so I won't be talking about that. So, let me tell you about why I decided to write this story. Sex has been proven to be the greatest stress reliever the world has ever seen. The funny part is in my option most people don't realize the power of sex or know how to do it in a stress-free manner. I am not sure why something so natural should be so complicated, but it is to a lot of people. My best guess is people worry about their dark fantasies or performance so much that it causes issues. One thing this story will reveal is that I was one of those people a short time ago myself.

The one thing you hear more and more lately is people telling you they love someone unconditionally. I am not sure who exactly came up with those words, maybe it was Hallmark. Whoever it was, I think most people don't truly believe those words. Of course, that would never stop them from using the hell out of it. Oh, baby this and Oh honey that. Its personally sounds cute but now it makes me sad for them being so clueless. They know that deep down the first time someone does something wrong, they are done. Now it's time for me to explain. Before you get the idea, I am some love hating bitch out to kick a card companies' ass, I am quite the opposite. I am in love with my husband and we do have 100% unconditional love. So how exactly do I know this? What makes me different from the rest of the saps I mentioned earlier?

Well here is my explanation, first read the actual definition of the phrase Unconditional Love.

Unconditional love - is known as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as complete love. Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging.

Here is a little backstory on how I made my educated decision on this subject. Bear with me as I tend to elaborate on the details sometimes, but I promise they are relevant.

I am a typical woman in her early thirties. A proud mother of two amazing children and a loving wife to my handsome husband. Social media has also had an adverse effect on my life as well. I spend anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or so a day, seeing what is going on in my friend's lives or sharing things about mine. Life has thrown us several curveballs over the years with several job changes that caused us to move from one town to the next. I am also not shy about sharing a bit about my past relationships. Just like a lot of women we have our good ones and bad. I just happened to have a terrible one a few years before meeting my husband. I'm not going to get into detail, but it was a volatile and abusive relationship. Mentally and physically it took a toll on me, but I am a strong woman and ran for the hills when I got a chance. I still suffer from it at times still today, but my glorious husband is always by my side telling me I'm amazing and giving me support. The worst part is that I still let his words from all those years ago stay in my head. No matter how hard I tried to hide or get rid of them they never really went away. It made me on rare occasions still question my self-worth and sexual ability and I didn't like it. It. But with a husband with a stubborn attitude that doesn't take no for an answer, those days are finally over.

It's not important to tell you exactly what my type of employment is at this point. Although it does matter than I am in a professional capacity that unfortunately puts me in the public spotlight. The reason I am telling you this is as much as I hate to admit it, it has had an enormous effect on me. Now every time I want to do something wild and impulsive, I always wonder about the consequences and how I would be viewed if caught. I won't say that has been detrimental to my life but a hurdle at times I wish wasn't there. Due to hard work and dedication, I am proud to say I have excelled in my profession. I absolutely love what I do and how my positive influence touches people's lives. You can tell I am not in any way ready to start over and find a new career. No matter how exciting a job as an international travel writer or owning a luxury hotel may sound. I am not changing professions so that is why this story has significant importance. My husband has always been my biggest supporter throughout my life. He has been there for me through the long nights or studying and the 8 plus years of college. I am not sure my this was a factor on him doing what he did or not, but I would like to think my career played a significate role in his decision process. That gives you a small taste of my life, so you can put what I am about to tell you in perspective.

A little over a month ago my husband did something that was outside the box. At the time it just seemed fun and carefree. I can't even think about what I was doing at the time the night the ball began to roll. The best I can recollect is I was getting out of the tub after a long soak when I found a white piece of paper. It was about some "Altered Ego" thing and if I could be another person. Sounded a bit cheesy at the time but like everything he does for me, I just decided to do it. Thinking back, I was surprised this didn't get thrown to the side as most all his little ideas do. I do love the man, but he comes up with some wild ass ideas sometimes. Although this time was different in a lot of ways. He had no intentions on tossing this in the rubbish and as your about to read, he decided to crank up the heat.

So, I decided to play along with his little game and wrote down my answers.

Here is what I wrote on the form that night...

"Altered Persona"

Name: Angelica Diablo

Marital Status: Single

Occupation: Secret Agent

Dressing Style: Professional but Sexy

Turn On's: Rough Sex

Turn Off's: Bad Breath

Favorite Hang-Out: Site Seeing

Favorite Hobby: Running

Preferred Pet Name: Angel or Devil (Depending on the Situation)

Favorite Sex Position: Doggy Style

Favorite Sexual Act: Being Eaten Out

Ultimate Fantasy: Finding a Public Spot to Have Sex

That night nothing was said or brought up much about the answers to his kooky little questions. I did notice him reading them but that was the highlight of the page. We did, however, have a pretty hot sexual encounter that evening, so I went to sleep that night with a smile on my pretty face. A week or so went by before I got another form. I didn't copy it on here, but it asked what email address and chat name I wanted to be associated with my persona. Call me naive but I still didn't think anything serious would come out of this. At best I thought we would use this to have some wild roleplay session in the privacy of our own bedroom. My sneaky husband at some point must have high jacked my phone. I found that out by pure accident as I was checking some email at work one day. Turns out he did create that email address and programmed it into my device. I should have told him I found out about the naughty email, but he isn't the only one in this marriage that can be sneaky. So, I decided to wait and see if the man had anything else up his sleeve. Another few days had passed before anything else was done. That is when I receive a short note that was hidden under my pillow.

Picture this,

It is only 6 o'clock and you're in the bed, usually, you would be curling up and letting your mind drift off into the clouds as you fight to keep your eyes open. Normally it's because I am watching some weird show that hasn't grabbed your attention yet, or maybe a football game that has turned boring due to good defenses. So instead of that, how about you lay down and ask for a massage. Unless you haven't realized I enjoy rubbing you down, from your head to your sexy toes. The kind that deeply penetrated your entire body with the moisturizing nutrients of coconut oil. Normally you would lay your head down and anticipate my fingers grazing your erotic zones or some light kisses from my lips. Don't lie to me even if you are tired, I know you still love my light touches. But that doesn't seem like a good way to keep you up, does it? Now you simply place your tablet in front of you and open it up. As your sexy body is being pampered you can find a chat room and be naughty. The best part is you will be Angelica, and no one will know your identity. You can be anything you want to be and chat however your heart desires. You can be from England. (English accent) or live down south as a Georgia Peach (strong southern draw). No matter what you decide, just have fun.

Never forget how much I love you and how amazing you are.

I want this for you, you will always be my Sexy Smoking Hot Wife.

That night it was well after 6 o'clock when I got to bed. We had gone out with some coworkers for dinner and didn't get back until after 9 so that night I didn't take him up on his offer. It was a few days later before I realized I still had the note on my bedside table. He never mentioned another word to me about it. The night that I finally took the plunge I hadn't really thought that much about it. I didn't know if I was even going to give it a shot the night I finally did. Being massaged was something I enjoyed and my normal go to was either watching some television or checking out Facebook. But thinking back, I remember something that changed my mind and it's going to sound weird. Once I got out of the bath my mind was playing games with me. Should I or shouldn't I happen to be all I could think about when I looked in the sink. That is when I noticed my husband had been warming up some coconut oil for my massage that evening. There is just something about the silky feeling when it hits your skin I have grown to love. This was not the first night he has done this. Like I said before he is one caring man and pampers me very frequently. But it was at that moment I decided "What the Hell". There is no harm in trying and if I don't like it, I just won't do it again. Just to make myself perfectly clear I was not forced or given an ultimatum about trying this out. He just gave me a mere suggestion and I held the power to either go with it or stop this idea dead in its tracks.

After I opened the door to the bedroom, I felt a warmth consume my body. The room was lite up with a romantic glow from a few candles placed around the room. Covering the bed was a couple plush terry cloth towels for me to lay down on. It was at that time I reached over and grabbed my tablet from the charger off the vanity. I felt a sense of nervousness as I made my way to the bed. The best way to describe the way I felt was simply stepping into the unknown. My husband didn't say a word, he just admired my naked body as I laid my body down on the bed. Sometimes people just know what the other is thinking without words coming from their lips. This was one of those moments and we both acknowledged what was on my mind.

My fingers trembled the first time, I opened the app he had installed. Neither of us had a clue where to go or what to do. I guess I was thinking as soon as I opened the app there would tons of rooms I could pick from, but it wasn't like that at all. The rooms were hidden or seemed that way at first. They were locked behind keywords that defined each room. I don't even remember the name of the room the first night but before I could realize what was going on, I was in one saying the words "Hello Room". What I did in the room the first time is not important to the story. The important thing is how my husband reacted. He had offered me a massage before I began to chat. Other than a little help from him and us using google a bit to figure all the ins and out of the app, he was nonexistent. Most husbands would be watching their wives like a hawk wondering who she is chatting to and what about. As strange as it was, he didn't look over my shoulder or anything unless he did it secretively. He just gave me one of the greatest massages I have received in years. My man even dusted off our cupping system and used them on my body for a complete spa experience.

As I laid down that evening while resting my eyes, I began to realize something special. I had thought all alone he was doing this for him in a strange way. It turns out that even though I am not wrong often, I was about that. As unorthodox as this whole thing was, he did this for me. Back when I filled out the form part of me wondered about something. Why did he only have me fill out the form and not both of us? A women's human nature is to always feel like a man does one thing to get another in return. Our society today has burned that image into our brains with all the tabloids and movies. But this generous act by the man I love threw that all that way. My last thought that night was a feeling of being truly loved.

Again, I am not getting into the details of what I did online because it's not relevant to the story. Also, to put it bluntly, it's not anyone's business but my own and my loving husbands. Here is what I will share what I noticed. It didn't matter what persona I wanted to portray or what type of room I was in. To me, it was an outlet and a way to explore and have fun. I discovered many things about myself and it helped me to feel more confident in sharing my desires. Everyone has seen catfish and wonders why anyone would act like someone they are not. There is a massive difference between what you see on that show and what I was doing. The biggest difference is I was not falling for anyone or planning to meet them offline. I also never stole some poor girls' pictures and pretended to be someone I am not. If I wanted to be a naughty girl one night, then I can. Maybe the mood struck me to be dominate or submissive either way there was no harm in it. Being in an app like that I had total control over what I would and wouldn't do. Of course, some nights I would get some ideas of things we had never done before and wanted to incorporate into our love life. Again no one was complaining there either.

I couldn't figure out the best time to elaborate on this, so I will include it at this point in my story. The one thing that every woman hates to admit is the desire of feeling wanted. When we get married, we feel it often from the man sharing our bed (or you should) but is that enough. Yes, it's always enough but a woman's mind is a complicated thing. It's like having a pair of black boots of course you have a pair, but you could always use more. See no matter how loved and desired we feel by our mate we love to know we still got it. I'm not saying that in some weird sense that I want to be able to walk down the street and grab a man and take him home for a night of wild sex. More along the lines I want to walk into a restaurant or a business and see a man give me that special look. We all know the type of look I am talking about. The type where he studies your body and his mind tries to picture you naked. As the old saying goes I may be married but I am not dead. Are you asking yourself what does this have to do with the chat thing? Well listen closely, it has everything to do with it and why this opportunity presented itself.

Let me start off that I love my husband, but he does have one annoying trait. He loves doing research online about all kinds of things. Most of the time I am not interested but I love him, so I smile and hear him out. So, around the time he suggested the little chat thing I realized it wasn't some spur of the moment thing for him. He researched everything from the basic pros and cons to benefits and potential hiccups. He didn't do this because he was bored or didn't have anything else to do. He did it all for me and because he truly cares. The one thing he mentioned that he read and wanted to share is how people viewed it. The common thread was my wife or husband is cheating on me on the net. Most of those people were married and if I had to guess maybe had other issues that just something on the internet. He told me at that point he took a different approach and wanted to find out if by the definition it was being unfaithful. That is when he found more people talking about it and this time there were both sides of the couple speaking up. That is when he shared with me the truth behind some of the passages he read. I am not so blind that I don't think there are men and women out there getting all hot and bothered on the net because they just need something more than they have at home. Infidelity in today's society is higher than ever and it's not just the men doing it any more ladies. So back to the statement is my use of the app a version of cheating. I am proud to say it's not, so listen to my reason why. Cheating ultimately is doing something or someone behind the back of a loved one. It's also defined as something that changes you and consumes your mind that makes you emotionally unavailable. Even though my husband is not watching my every move we have total honesty and openness with each other. Remember the golden rule that trust is the key to a perfect marriage. Also, Happy wife means a happy life too just, so you know. There were some important rules we set up beforehand that I want to share. This was an experiment so we both agreed that it would be a two-week trial. We decided after that together we would determine how long the break should be and if we wanted to continue or delete the app. The biggest rule was total transparency, which meant the password would be known by both and at any time he could see what the content of each message was about. We password protected the tablet and hid the notifications so no one other than us would ever see what we did in private. The last rule was that I would always remain anonymous. That part was the thing that turned me on the most truthfully. Now that doesn't mean I didn't use my actual personality but the person on the other side had no idea where I lived or anything personal about my life. Other than a few of them knew I was married, what can I say I am proud of being the wife of this fabulous man.

I did share things often with him, normally it's was something I was told or something so out there it shocked me to see those words appear on the screen. I never once had the urge to hide what the subject of my conversation was or with whom it was with during all of this. I am sure some people could get a bit wrapped up in it and get excited to get on and chat to someone like I did. There is no need to lie here, that happened to me as well but not in the obsessive manner that would be harmful in any way. I certainly never stayed up late or got up early to chat with someone behind his back. Personally, I think that would have begun a process to destroy the whole outlook on why I started this in the first place. The other thing you need to realize is I didn't do this every day or spend long hours chatting it up. Being a mom and a wife has always come number one in my life and nothing was going to change my priorities. Remember I did this to give me an outlet to chat and explore my desires. Not change the love I have for my family or harm my marriage.