Uncle Charlie's Funeral

Author's Note: All characters engaging in any sexual activities are 18 years or older. Names of all characters are fictional, and were changed to protect the naughty! Certain details were also changed to further conceal the identities of any real persons.

This is the 2d part of the series. Part 1 is Uncle Charlie's Wake, which tells of the night before the funeral.

Charlie's Angels sat together in the front pew of the church. Kitty sat on the end, presumably in case she needed to go hurl in the middle of the proceedings. When I came in, she turned and waved me over to come sit beside her. Might as well have stood, turned and made a public announcement to the gathered members of her family that we were kissing cousins, even though we had never kissed.

Well, I had kissed pretty much every inch of her body from her knees up to her chest. Just not a proper kiss on the lips.

Kitty looked like shit—well, as close to shit as a girl that pretty could look. "How's your hangover?"

I whispered straight into her ear, as much to prevent anyone from hearing as to touch her ear with my lips. I considered sticking my tongue in for good measure, but bad as she felt, she probably would have punched me in the nose.

"Remind me never to drink again."

"Never drink again."

"Thanks." Her lips brushed my ear as she added, "Last night was worth it, though."

I could not agree more. Neither could my cock, which started to get hard again from just being so close to her.

"Charlie was a fine, hard-working Christian man," the preacher was saying, and Kat made a strange sound a bit like a cough. Turning to see if she was okay, I watched her struggle to choke back a laugh, looking around to see if anyone saw her reaction to that horseshit, which she tried to hide as either crying or tuberculosis. Seeing me catch her, she gave me a little wink.

"He will be greatly missed, by his entire family and the community at large," the preacher said, a lie so ridiculous it was Fae's turn to suppress a chuckle. Her black eyes gave me a side-glance that made me wish she was eighteen like her middle sister, too, and she shrugged her shoulders. Kitty grabbed my hand and dug her fingernails into my palms to stop me from laughing. I didn't mind the pain, because less than 12 hours before I shot 2 loads of jism down her throat, so she could pretty much do anything she wanted at this point. There was plenty more where that came from.

Charlie's Angels is how people referred to the three allegedly grieving sisters, the daughters of the man lying in the casket below the preacher. Kat, the oldest, a redhead with a shapely body, Kitty, the middle daughter, blonde, 18 and skinny as a rail. A very sexy rail. And the youngest, Fae, a Korean orphan Uncle Charlie and Aunt Grace adopted as a baby. They looked like they could be cast in a new remake of Charlie's Angels, blonde, redhead and Asian. Until I arrived in town for the funeral festivities last night, last time I saw them, we were kids, and now I was in my last year of grad school.

"Please stand and sing Hymn * * * * *269," the preacher said.

Kitty leaned against me, and I said, "So that's what number Highway to Hell is in this book."

"Ha!" she laughed loudly, catching herself on the first ha, then putting her chin on her chest trying to hide. Standing, she looked pretty good that day, even if her face showed the wear and tear of a bottle of Jack Daniels. I wondered if she bought the black dress in the children's department, because she looked too tiny to even be a size 0. I leaned back to check out her ass, which did look great in the dress, and I felt slightly envious of her cousins from the other side of the family in the rows behind, whose views of her standing here in front must have them craning their necks for a better view.

Kat didn't bother to hide it. Her dress was cut low in front, revealing a stunning decolletage that Fae blocked with her damn hymnbook. I actually forget what the adopted Charlie's Angel wore, which is probably a good thing because she was still in high school, but whatever it was neither hugged the ass like Kitty's or showed as much cleavage as Kat's.

It's the only time I ever had wood at a funeral.

When it was over and Uncle Charlie was six feet closer to Hell with a ton of dirt holding him down, Kitty asked me to drive her home.

"Aren't you going to the afterparty?"

"No. I'm going to take a handful of Tylenol and lie down. You go, though. Just drop me home."

"Sure you don't want me to stay with you?"

"I'd love it, but I feel like shit. Go have fun. Kat says she wants to party with you, and who knows when we will see each other again. It will be fun." Then she gave me what I wanted so much last night: a kiss on the lips. With tongue. Not long, and not passionate, because passion and hangover don't really mix. No, she kissed me because she knew I wanted her to. And I grabbed her ass because I wanted that, too.

A strong shove broke her free. "Get going!"

Never before had I heard of a funeral afterparty. Sure, wakes are common enough, held the night before, the images of that after-life party playing out over and over in my head. My parents hadn't shown up out respect for the dead because they found the idea of a funeral afterparty inappropriate, which was true enough, so in the big room full of strangers, I mostly hung out with the remaining 2 Charlie's Angels.

I told them how I felt. "This whole concept of a funeral afterparty seems so..."

Fae completed my thought with frightening accuracy. "Disrespectful?"

"Exactly!"

"Which is the whole point."

"Why did everyone hate your father so much?"

"Trust me, it took years of hard work to earn their hatred."

"What about you two? Did you hate him, too?"

"Hate might be a bit strong," Fae answered, then saw someone she needed to speak to and took off, leaving Kat with me.

"I want to thank you for taking such good care of my sister last night."

"It's the least I could do."

"That's not how she described it."

"What did she say?"

Kat rolled her baby blue eyes, and at that moment, I realized they might even be prettier eyes than her sister's of amazing green and gold. Rimmed with a ring of sapphire around a lighter center, they were quite spectacular in their own right.

"Seriously, what did she tell you?"

"Pretty much everything, I suspect."

"Really?"

"We sisters share everything."

"Okay, that's kind of embarrassing."

"From the way she tells it, you have no reason to be embarrassed."

"Did she tell Fae, too?"

"Yup."

Covering my face with both palms, I said, "This is so embarrassing!"

"Don't worry," she looked around. "Let's go outside where no one will hear us."

On the way, I stopped for a new beer, but she was still nursing her first and waved off another. Sisters can be quite different. Across the street was a little park with benches where she led me, giving us a clear view if anyone came out so we could stop talking about what I did to my cousin before they came into earshot.

"Okay, details. I need details."

"Let's just say, she called you a silver-tongued devil."

"I can't believe she told you that!"

"You're an only child. Otherwise, you'd realize that sisters talk. About everything. Seriously, drunk as she was, you could have done anything you wanted to her, but she said she only had to tell you once and you didn't press her for more than she was ready to give."

"Well, she is family."

"You think that matters to some people?"

A puzzling comment, particularly after the hatred shown of their father, making me wonder if that had anything to do with it, but we were still basically strangers who knew each other as kids ten years ago, so I didn't press it. Instead, I went in a different direction. "What else did she tell you?"

"To make sure to keep you from hooking up with any of the girls from my Mom's side of the family."

"Oh, she did, huh?"

"Keep him to yourself, is how she put it."

Wait, did I interpret that correctly? "How literally did she mean, we sisters share everything?"

"Oh, you are so funny." Ouch! That was a humiliating shootdown! Might be about time to head back inside, I decided, when she continued, "Will you tell me something ... as a guy? I don't really have too many guys I can talk to about sex without giving them the wrong idea."

"Sure, ask me anything."

"Good, because I feel comfortable talking to you, for some reason," her hand waved back and forth between us, indicating a connection, "maybe because we knew each other as kids, or because you are our only family on that side."

Or maybe exchanging body fluids with her kid sister last night had something to do with it. "Yeah, I feel the same about you. Strange, isn't it?"

"Right? Well, here goes: after what Kitty told me, I started wondering how important oral sex is to guys? Because, to tell you the truth, I can't give oral. It's so...disgusting."

"That's too bad," I answered, deciding to be honest with her, "because we guys kind of love it. I'd probably take it personally."

"The thing is, I like getting it, I just cannot give it. Does that make me selfish?"

"Pretty much," I laughed. Then it occurred to me, I'd go down on her. I'd never had a redhead, never even seen a naked one live and in person, but if I had the chance to eat a redhead hot as her, I'd gladly do it even in a situation where I knew I'd get nothing in return. Heck, if in exchange for the privilege of licking a bright red bush like I imagined hers to be, I knew she'd bite my schwantz hard enough to draw blood, as long as she left it attached, I'd probably still go for it.

"Don't get me wrong—I'm not a virgin like Kitty. The first thing I did when I got to college was to lose my virginity. Then I regretted it because I gave it to some guy who really didn't give a shit, so after him I waited until I had a boyfriend. We dated for almost 2 years. I think he got offended because I wouldn't give him oral."

"But he gave you oral?"

"For a while. Eventually, he boycotted because I wouldn't go down on him. We're not together anymore; sometimes I wonder how much that had to do with it."

"I wouldn't break up with you just because you wouldn't go down on me."

"But would it make you angry if you did me and I didn't return the favor?"

"Can I speak honestly?"

Her smile was so pretty. "Of course."

"I'd happily go down on you and expect nothing from you in return."

"Oh, you are so sweet!" Her hand reached out to touch my wrist. "But I would never ask that of you; I would definitely make it worth your while."

How it happened I cannot say, but we had moved close enough for our knees to be touching, and her cleavage drew my eyes like a moth to flame. Freckles covered the exposed part of her breasts, and I wondered if they were completely covered by those sexy little beauty marks. "Just giving you a few moments of ecstasy, hearing your enjoyment, feeling it—that would make it totally worth it." Not to mention, just seeing the grandeur her light red eyebrows suggested.

"Kitty said you are generous like that."

I don't mind telling you, my head was spinning by then, and I had no idea what was going on. So, I said, "Okay, let me ask you a question: what are we doing? Are we just talking? Are we flirting? Or, are we..."

"Seducing each other?"

"Exactly. Because last night I slept with your sister and tonight we are sitting here discussing oral sex. Which you obviously know I had with your little sister."

"Well, the whole idea of this party was because my father would disapprove of it, and what could piss my father off more than us doing what we want to do before he is even cold in the ground?"

My fingers touched hers, our pinkies and ring fingers intertwining, then our whole hands rubbing together until our fingers slipped between each other's. And I kissed her. The moment our lips met, our mouths opened to each other and our tongues darted about, entwined like our fingers, although far more passionately. After a few minutes I built up the courage to grab a handful of my older cousin's tit, at least two bra sizes larger than her little sister's. She moaned into my mouth and her tongue responded with increased intensity.

"We should go."

"Go where?"

"Take me back to your place."

"You mean Aunt Kelly's?"

"I hear you take all the girls there."

* * * * *

We didn't waste any time. Soon as the door slammed shut behind me, I had her up against the wall. Her knee wrapped around me. Her boobs were squishier than her sister's, yet still firm as a 21-year-old's should be and overflowed my hand; her tongue chased mine around inside my mouth in the most alluring dance. Her leg up over my hip allowed my stiffie to press directly against her sex.

I hadn't washed the sheets, still lightly stained with her sister's juices; nor had I even made up the bed to cover those memories of last night's carnal feast. If she noticed, she did not say, but I did as she laid back across her sister's lovestains and I crawled on top of her. Why had I let her lie down without unzipping her dress?

With her legs wrapped around me, we dry-humped while kissing, and we kissed enough to make up for her sister avoiding it the night before—well, almost. When we came in, I made sure to flick on the lights, to make sure I could see those glorious freckles. Did they cover her whole body or only the parts the sun kissed? And to show off the wonders of her firebush in all its glory.

To get that damn dress off her, I rolled her on top of me, which was one of my best ideas of the night. Straddled over my hips, she reached back, but I wanted the honor myself, so reached around and pulled the zipper down myself. It slipped off her shoulders and fell away, revealing the white skin and black, push-up bra underneath that helped explain why her cleavage looked so spectacular at her father's funeral.

A universe of light freckles decorated her entire body, a sight so amazing if I hadn't already been rock hard, this would have done the trick. As I reached for her bra, she fell upon me for another kiss, her hair falling over my head like an orange tent. I don't think she meant to, but her boobs ground against my chest, and her kiss was so deep, so wild it could have lasted forever and been fine with me.

But neither of us came here to make out.

My hands caressed the soft skin of her back for a while, eventually coming across the hooks of her bra strap. It popped free, and I enjoyed the tactile sensation of uninterrupted satiny skin unbroken from her shoulders down the curve of her back to the elastic of her panties while her fingers worked my shirt buttons one by one.

Rolling her back, I ended up lying between her thighs and she pulled off my shirt and tugged my undershirt over my head while I worked on my belt. Only then did I pull her bra away to reveal her marvelous boobs.

Those nipples were a wonderful pink color, the same shade as her lips, which at first, I mistakenly thought were brightened by lipstick, but after all this kissing, realized were her natural lovely color. Her freckly mounds jiggled with every move she made. One breast I kissed, the other squeezed and stroked with my hand. Each beautiful nipple received my full attention, sucking and licking with gusto. Nibbles with my teeth seemed to drive her crazy, judging by her moans, so while sucking, I bit them, running my tongue over the part captured between my teeth.

Although quieter than her sister, she was no less responsive or passionate, and playing with her boobs rapidly worked her up to a frenzy. Which was great, because I wanted more.

I must have kissed every freckle between her tits and her black panties and enjoyed the taste of each one. Then, I kissed her through her panties, already moist in anticipation and savored her aroma rising through them. Her hips rose off the bed, encouraging me, so I decided to be cool and took them in my teeth and pulled them down. Fine hair tickled my nose before I saw it, and after seeing the first flash of brilliant red, yanked her panties down to see the red gem inside those panties.

My first firebush was a thing of such beauty, not a day has passed in the years since that I haven't thought of it; most days, more than once. Untrimmed, like her sister's, full, bushy and wild! I ran my fingers through it, savoring the feel and the unforgettable sight.

"It's beautiful," I said, instantly feeling like an idiot, but she laughed, which made me feel a little less like a tool.

Although I wanted to play it cool like I had with her sister—to kiss her inner thighs and to lick around it to drive her mad first, I simply lost all control at such a stunning sight. I dove in, tongue first, licking deep. Like her sister, Kat was juicy and fragrant, and her juices tasted wonderful on my tongue. After flicking around inside her for a few seconds, I went for her button.

"Mmmm!" Her voice filled with quiet passion and sounded of full pleasure, but I was just getting started. It must be in the blood, because everything her sister liked Kat loved, too. But her reactions were different, her moans quiet, her sighing voice deeper, her squeals quieter, her motions slower and more controlled. Hopefully, none of this noise made it to Aunt Kelly, but I enjoyed every sound my tongue licked out of her.

Kat came differently, too.

Fingers lightly on the back of my head held me in place and she quivered. Starting with her hips, I felt the quivering shake her body in growing waves. Her hips rolled up and down, and her moans grew deeper and almost constant, followed by a few long, halting inhales.

When the quakes stopped, I have no idea why, but I wet a finger inside her, then slid it into her ass.

"What the hell are you doing down there?"

"I thought you might like it."

"Uh-huh."

Looking up across her red bush and over two pink-tipped mounds, her eyes asked an unspoken question. "Does it feel good?"

"Kind of."

"Should I stop?"

"You're a freak, you know that?"

"Are you?"

"I haven't told you to stop, have I?"

So I continued the tongue-lashing with my finger poking up in her ass. And she must have enjoyed it, because I licked another orgasm out of her in seconds, or so it seemed. Time really didn't seem to have meaning at that point. Minutes seemed like hours and hours like seconds, but after that second one, her thighs pinched my head and rolled me over. In a flash, she had my boxers off and mounted me.

"Did you bring a condom?"

"I wasn't really expecting to need one."

"Are you serious?"

My mind raced. "There may be one in my wallet."

Without unmounting, she leaned down onto the floor and hand-walked over to reach my pants, returning with my wallet. Her breasts swung back and forth magnificently.

From inside, she produced a wrinkled, cracked wrapper that probably had sat there for 2 years. She ripped it open and pulled out a dried-out rubber, which she examined disapprovingly. "This is no good. Look at it!"

I admitted it looked completely useless. My heart stopped beating in my chest.

"How long have you been carrying this around?"

"Too long."

"Has this been in your wallet since high school?"

"No! Maybe since undergrad."

She tossed the petrified Trojan on the floor. "Be honest with me—how long has it been?"

"A long time."

"One year?"

"Longer."

"Two?"

"Maybe. About then."

Gears turned in her head. You could hear them, see them working. "Don't you dare give me a baby."

Firm as they were, her boobs swayed over me, mesmerizing. So much so, I didn't really notice what she was doing until I slipped inside her silkiness, my cock penetrating deep as she lowered her body over me, so smooth and warm it took my breath away. This time, it was my turn to gasp, and she began raising and lowering herself, slow and smooth. My hands ran up her sides from her hips to those gracefully swaying breasts.