Towards a Surrender Act 03

Please remember this is a copyrighted work and all legal disclaimers apply.

The following story is the second of four parts of a tale that explores the theme of transformation. I hope that the larger narrative arc is interesting to all. I suggest you may enjoy reading the first portion, Act One & Two.

I continue to work on better editing and someone has been most helpful.

Thank you for your comments.

Towards a Surrender Act III

By MadQuill

Is there love without complete submission and loss of identity?

My wrap was tightly about my body as I stood in my short, satin mules watching the black big car disappear with Renee and her bags; the dawn looked nice but my head was fuzzy. My silk sleeping gown fell from the narrow shoulder straps, but the subtle cups emphasized my new breasts. I touched my nipple, lightly remembering her mouth on my body last night, as the taxi crested a small hill. She was a strong lead but her version of dominance was without fear, pain or aggression.

I leaned against the window frame and reviewed my decisions. Each one had been all mine, as I had elected to take the hormones, and had grown my blonde hair, which now fell four inches past my slim shoulders. Though I was Lisa, I could leave this sanctuary and begin again, without Anais. I reconsidered my plan alternatives. It was just before six and I decided to dress and visit my apartment. It would provide me some perspective, and I quickly called for a taxi. A few minutes later the car arrived.

"Downtown Akron, please," and the small gray hybrid rolled away from Anais's home.

Twenty-two hours later I returned; it was dark as I crawled back into the nicely made bed and slept comfortably now that my inquiry had settled my mind. I awoke near eight and walked to the window. In my mind I could still see her black car leaving yesterday. I could do many things because of my will, but I couldn't turn that taxi around and bring Renee back.

I wondered standing alone, how I would adjust, when I would first be with Anais. I was surprised earlier to find the front door unlocked, and nothing had changed since I had left a day ago. The Maid had tidied my room but every other detail remained the same. Then I saw the note; it was leaned against the clock on the side table.

'to Lisa, Anais'

I read the note quickly; it was only three lines.

'When you are ready, I will know and you will leave your door ajar. Take as long as you need. There is cash in the kitchen desk drawer, and you have the earlier funds as well. With love, Anais'

I considered what Charlie had suggested last evening, "Explore what you have Lisa. You'll be accepted, believe me, just look at you. The changes are real and I am a little jealous," Charlie had come close and she touched my waist, "ah, quite envious actually."

Charlie was kind to have spent a few hours with me and have dinner last evening. Now as I looked around, I went to the closet. I pulled out a small bag and placed some clothes and a makeup kit inside. I grabbed several pairs of shoes and then slipped on a simple dress. Downstairs I found the women's wallet with some cash. The taxi horn sounded. I left Anais again.

Some minutes later I walked into my apartment with a plan. I would spend five days as Charlie had suggested. I showered and fell asleep until one that afternoon. This bed no longer felt familiar and the room was too dark due to the overhangs near the entry. I was a foreigner in my old home. Renee's work, the careful adjustments that had taken hold of my poise and attitude were good. I considered how my confidence had so increased; I had decided to leave his house. Her efforts had helped so much, as I rolled to my hip and adjusted the nightgown to sit, and now I stood. Even these simple movements made me aware of how changed I was.

When I had made some coffee, I sat and considered Anais; he had been hiding or reserved these past nearly four weeks. I looked at my phone, but I didn't touch the face. I didn't want to see those earlier messages.

I remembered Charlie had told me at dinner last night, that I was acting silly, "Yes, you could work, but from what you've told me, you do, every day, and on something you enjoy. Don't you recall working, all week, listening to others directing your efforts?"

Still, I now opened a job search website and found a listing from a local firm, a junior graphic designer. An hour later I uploaded my Curriculum Vitae, and sent the request for an interview. I would just be me, alone today, and I would think of how we might forge a new life, or how I would start anew, as Lisa, a young woman designer.

The following afternoon I was dressed and rode in a cab to the one o'clock interview. The woman I met was helpful and the job with DaTV seemed exciting. She would let me know once the recommendation had been confirmed.

Early that same evening I received a call from Cathy, my old boss. She told me that she was happy to receive the call from DaTV; Cathy felt I would be offered the position. Then she suggested that we meet for a drink, "Or maybe something simple, just a meal, okay Lisa?" She hadn't met Lisa yet and it would be good to be near another woman so I agreed.

During the ride to the café' downtown, I considered how this alternative, living as a woman could be good. I met Cathy on the street, but I felt strange as she surveyed me quickly. She forced a smile as we awkwardly kissed cheeks.

"Wow, Lisa, you look, well, amazing, ah, way out of my league."

She was wearing jeans and a cute white top, and she had flats on her feet. I was in three-inch heels and a dress, but my legs weren't covered. My toes and fingernails were painted a soft blue to match my eyes. I realized I needed to soften her anxiety, so I hugged her and then held her close.

"Let's have a good time, Boss," and she relaxed.

She shared some gossip with me as we drank our wine. The small-plate dinner was perfect, as we shared the four offerings. I gave her an edited version of my transition but couldn't bring up the important issue. Was I going to accept the offer?

"You know Lisa, I could arrange for you to come back with us, I mean to take your old position. I, ah, mean, if that makes any sense," Cathy explained the changes she had recommended to the HR department.

I told her that it could prove more difficult, as I was thinking of Sean (though she didn't know of the event), when she said quickly, "At a better salary then your present offer."

During her discussions with DaTV regarding my employment she was asked about my salary, so Cathy knew I was chasing a lower paying position. I knew I couldn't return though and told her so. I wanted to begin, free and with a new perspective, but did I?

She said, "You do have alternatives Lisa; that is important." She sat three feet away and looked up as she said this. My eyes remained on hers for a second too long, and she blushed. I wasn't attracted to her; she was a friend, and also one of a few people who knew of my life and gender changes. The cool thing was, no one paid us any attention. We were two girls out for the evening. I listened as she explained her initial curiosity.

"Well, I surmised, that you were switching, I meant to use a different term, transitioning. I had a girlfriend in college whose brother did as well. She was quite involved and supportive, so that is how I feel. I want to be helpful, Lisa." She said this softly.

We agreed to meet the next day for lunch.

I spent the next few days doing just stuff, woman stuff, anything, but I did call and rejected the DaTV job offer.

"The salary would make it difficult." The woman understood, but she didn't offer a counter. Later I considered this as discrimination; as a male I was worth more than a girl?

I rearranged the apartment, and my dresser. I cleared out the boy junk I would never need again; then it hit me. I was going back, to Anais. At that moment I rejected my thought, but every few hours, as I tried to get to a sense of normal, he would come into my mind. I tried to use my memories of Renee to clear him away, but it didn't work. On the fourth day I called for a cab, but I cancelled it minutes later. I wanted to keep to my five-day plan.

Instead I spent the evening researching arranged marriages, for my relationship seemed, in some ways similar. Renee had determined that I fit the requirements; she was instrumental in my meeting Anais, yet she was nowhere near today. Hence it was my freedom to choose to return.

That night, after midnight, I awoke. The dream was quite randy and included Anais; well maybe it just some guy. I got on the phone to the cab dispatch and threw my stuff into the bag.

It was eerily quiet as I got out of the cab. At two in the morning, I slipped in the front door and walked up the stairs. I was back in bed, just across the hall from him, Anais. I slept softly and again I dreamed. This time it was a memory of the phallus Renee used the first day when she explained how to fellate a penis. She had a toy produced modeled on his prick. She was careful as she explained the process and pushed the toy past my lips and over my tongue. The act was no longer queer to me, but I understood it required a certain skill, and I hadn't developed that. Renee had been patient though direct; I needed to work on this.

My dream aroused me and caused me to awaken. I looked at the clock; it was just after six, and I slipped out of bed and pulled the silk gown about my body. The memory was of me gagging three times while Renee guided the cocktoy into my mouth!

The light was soft as I walked to the window, as I recalled on the third day, more than two weeks ago now, when Renee continued to teach me of this sex act; six times she had me try to fellate the toy. Only after a week of practicing alone could I easily get the latex copy of his penis in deeply enough to please Renee. The dream that caused me to wake wasn't bad, as I was aroused and excited by the sexual though play.

At the window I watched for five or so minutes as the sun rose; now I was alone and the one person I had trusted during this transition period had fled. The uneasiness was useless so I tried to recall the last night I spent with Renee, a week ago with and her sensual and erotic lovemaking.

I felt someone come near; Anais was with me. After the weeks of Renee's guidance and my running off, I now saw him reflected in the glass but I did not turn. I continued to watch the sun rising. The touch on my arm assured me that he had feelings for me and I would fold into his world and I may be okay.

Still I did not turn, with my eyes now closed, as his touch felt somewhat familiar; but she was now gone. As Anais moved his hands up from my waist I relaxed, for he was there, just as Renee had said he would be. His fingers came to the underside of my left breast; gently he moved further to caress my warm nipple through the silk.

I softly said to him, as I turned slightly, looking up to his eyes, "No, I need more time, Anais, don't touch me there, for now, please." I felt his hand move to my hip and I accepted this. My eyes remained shut as his attention had brought a stiffness to both of my new nipples.

Renee had told me last week, "He will be there Lisa, as soon as I have given you away."

I had cried when I had heard Renee use that verb over a week ago. To 'Give'; I was her present to him, Anais. How quickly I had become feminine, and had allowed her this power. Now with Anais just so close I knew I was his, but maybe I was still in control, somewhat.

I considered my decision to return, this was where I wanted to be. I was this close to a lover whose face was new to me. The light was dim at the early hour, for the window face southeast. I thought yesterday about the arrangement; I was a bride of a sort, but I was intimately involved with the setting of this agreement to be together.

I looked into his eyes as I felt his stiffness. His other hand was now on my bottom, with the thin charcoal grey fabric between us; he caressed my round cheek.

"Please, patience Anais, I need to know you will allow me, umm, some time, all day if necessary." I was still looking at him. I like his smooth face; he had shaven, and his brown eyes, well maybe hazel; I couldn't be certain due to the light.

He backed off quickly and stood but now my eyes fell to his hard shaft pointing at my belly and I chuckled, "Put that thing on hold just now, I need some coffee," and I moved to the bed and gathered the white fluffy robe. I bent to put on my ivory satin mule slippers as he watched, his eyes on the tight fabric between my bottom cheeks.

I smiled as I walked out of the room covered by the robe, Anais along behind me, the sound of my soft heel clicks followed by the pat of his bare feet on the wood floor of the hall.

I knew this would be easy, I was well aware of the kitchen; the past weeks I had enjoyed each morning there before the Maid arrived. Down the stairs we walked silently. I stop mid-way down and turned. Again, his hard penis was inches from my face.

"Can I ask that you go put something on Anais?"

He smiled and walked back up and I studied his butt and back. He was quite fit, and appeared to workout regularly, not in an overdone, muscled manner, just fit. From the top step he spoke.

"Thank you, for helping me be normal Lisa."

I smiled back at him, "I like your voice Anais, oh, ahh, and your bum."

As I finished preparing the coffee he had not returned, I considered my face; quickly I walked to my old room off the Library. The bath still had some of my makeup items. I applied a skin cream, after brushing my teeth, then some translucent foundation. The sun would be in the kitchen in a bit I wanted to look good for our first face-to-face. The lipstick was a little too mauve, but it would have to do. Quickly, I stroked the mascara brush several times along my lashes. In three minutes I was happier and wrapped the robe about myself. As I entered the kitchen he came in from the stairs. We both paused, looking across the space at one another. I was excited, for he wore a pair of small running shorts, which left little to the imagination, and a tight fabric athletic shirt. He was still bare foot.

I moved to the counter, "Anais, do you take your coffee black?"

We sat on the two stools beside each other at the counter, looking out of the wide window as the sun warmed the stone counter. Somehow we found a lot to talk about, and thirty minutes quickly passed. He spoke of the day ahead, the plan for dinner, even the news. We easily spoke; of my studies, and his golfing and other interests. It was strange that due to speaking with Renee he knew me and I was familiar with him as well.

He talked of a recent trip to London and he shared pictures from his phone. I listened and demurred to his descriptions of his travel experiences. He could make me smile and I laughed as well, at his imitation of a bull.

I liked that Anais had a warm personality, and would look at me, and listen as I spoke. He sounded like a New Yorker; well read, cultured and self-aware. He told me he was raised in Queens, but he had friends when he was younger whose accent was even more pronounced.

He told me, "I am easily made happy, by simple things Lisa."

I asked about the framed art print on the wall, "Yes, it is a copy, Warhol, and still it cost a thousand dollars, from the Factory Additions," he said. It was a 'Marilyn Monroe' from 1967, the one with a magenta background, and high-lighted eyes.

He told he was older, "You know that, right? I will be forty-four in a month."

Then he said, "You know, I wondered when you knew you would return," he meant during the past week but I saw the question as the larger issue of these eight months. I was here with him, yet though we were clearly attracted to one another, the arranged conditions needed to be discussed.

I paused and started to say, "I'm hopeful," but I stopped, again I spoke, "but I was nervous, Anais."

He turned to face me and was close. I could smell the scent, mellow, yet his was an earthy aroma.

"So am I someone, can I easily make you happy Anais?" I sounded so shy.

He smiled, "You have already got me there Lisa," he said as his fingers reached to touch my left arm. I felt something, and I closed my eyes. Then I felt my lips part and again I looked at Anais. My tongue moved slightly along my lower lip. Was I teasing him?

It was still arranged; us two, sitting together, yet I felt special now. I looked deep into his eyes, "Well, thanks to the internet, right? We are close, but there is much ahead, correct? I mean, we need to see, how this may be," I paused, as I knew the next thought should stew a little longer. I felt something like butterflies, and I didn't know exactly what might be coming next. For some reason, I thought of the red tongue between my legs, licking my ass. I was aroused by the tension as we sat for the next moments.

Anais moved closer, I knew a kiss was coming; my heart was beating so fast. I had a silly thought, 'can I grow to love Anais over time'. His kiss was quite near and I closed my eyes and my mind emptied of doubt.

Gentle lips, soft breathe, cheeks sliding, his hand about my slim waist, the other on my naked knee, this was a kiss, and I responded to his mouth and now his tongue, my wet mouth opened and my hand now came to his cheek, just as his came to mine. For several moments, all we did was this first kiss; Anais was so gentle. We explored each other; softly my left hand fell to his chest, atop his heart, and I felt it pounding as he deeply kissed me. The kiss became more relaxed, and more sensual. His fingers kneaded my neck, tangling in my hair. I felt his intense desire, he was stiff against my thigh, then he brushed against my breast, and I moaned. I felt him run the tip of his finger under the edge of the robe as he caressed my thigh.

I was quivering with his touch; it was sensual without reaching beyond my earlier set limits; respecting my need for patience while still setting me off. I was aroused but the thong controlled my sex. My mouth was back together with his, the kiss softer, less urgent now. I just let this happen, between us, the tension drain from my shoulders, from my head, as he held me without taking us over the edge. Instead Anais' arms slid around me, lightly holding me to his chest while he tempted me with more soft kisses.

I opened my eyes as the kiss paused and I wondered, of the chances this could work over the long-term. I pondered if he had been married before, as he was slowly seducing me, and that seemed nice, to be desired. Am I looking for commitment, or just moving along a path towards my womanhood. I might just succumb to his attention.

I saw that the light in the kitchen had changed, as the sun was high now. My glance to the wall clock showed that we had been making out, for over an hour? I quickly stiffen but his smile and hug relaxed me once again. So this is how being loved might feel, timeless. His kiss began again. My eyes were shut, as I moaned deeply and his mouth and tongue teased mine. With his fingers in my long hair I quickly abandoned thinking. His fingers were playing me, his caress of my shoulders and neck, pulling me into a joy. My soft whimper reached his ears, as he wrapped an arm around the back of my neck. I wasn't going anywhere.

Then it stopped. I opened my eyes as Anais moved, just slight away, but he now stood, and tilted his head down. I felt he was making this pause, to allow me to decide. I would need to follow, or not. I saw the clock again; total wash over, it was now nearly ten. The coffee was barely touched, and cold. I watched as he moved a half step back. I saw his junk still stiff beneath his small shorts. He again moved slightly back, and yet he looked at me.