The Slums of Heaven

When he was young, Kendall Palmer's family went to a Southern Baptist Church. That church preached that once someone was 'saved,' he/she would go to heaven, no matter what else the person did or might do later in life. Among various congregations, controversies arose over whether the quality of life someone led after being saved should matter or not. Some felt that one had to live a good life to continue to count on getting into heaven. Others believed that all saved people would get to heaven with the quality of life making the difference in what type of 'mansion' God had prepared for him/her. The main character in this story was of the latter belief. After what will be described in the following narrative, you will understand why he expected to live in a slum in heaven.

Kendall wore a WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) wristband from a very early age. He used it to remind him to ask that question whenever life presented him a challenge. He didn't always remember to ask it, acting impulsively instead. Sometimes he ignored what he thought Jesus might want him to do. Other times he decided against his baser instincts and did what he thought was closer to what Jesus would want. Because of wear and tear, he had to replace the wristband several times. The only time he could not wear it was in the military. To compensate, he had WWJD tattooed over his heart.

Kendall married his high school sweetheart, Mariah Wilson, soon after graduation and just before going into the Army at age 18. They had grown up together in Mt. Clemons, Michigan, attended the same school and church, and had been exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend since age 15. Being together always was the assumption both had had since an early age. Nothing in their married life had contradicted that. So far.

The Army moved them several times and soon Kendall got deployed a lot. Because of the flux in the home situation, they had decided to wait to have children. Kendall worried about Mariah while he was deployed, but he was proud of the way she handled herself without her husband around. Several friends at each post offered to help Mariah while Kendall was away. Kendall used that support system to keep tabs on her well-being and her faithfulness. He knew how difficult it was for him to remain faithful when he was away, so he could only assume it would be difficult for her also.

Mariah was an attractive, confident, athletic woman with breasts in the B+ to C- range. She tended to wear green because of her copper colored hair. Mariah had been able to get jobs wherever they were posted because of her considerable secretarial skills. Her other skills included being able to deflect passes from guys hoping to take advantage of a good-looking woman who was assumed to be horny with her husband away so long.

Letters and emails flowed in both frequency and volume during the deployments. Activity in bed flowed when he was home. Both professed love and faithfulness. Both believed the other was keeping the marriage vows. At least until the third deployment to Afghanistan.

Letters from Mariah came as usual the first couple of months. She mostly talked about the house off post from Fort Campbell that they were renting and how she had decorated it. Then she started telling of her new job at a carpeting business and her wonderful boss. Mariah told Kendall how the boss seemed to be impressed by her work and how she might get a pay raise although she had not worked there long.

Kendall could not write to Mariah with the same consistency that she did. He would be on patrol or sent on a mission where writing was difficult. After returning, he would read all the letters he had received, and then write a big letter in response. After one mission of several weeks, he came back to camp and was surprised at how few letters were waiting. None of her letters explained why the decrease. His trouble-at-home antenna started vibrating. He calmed himself with a WWJD moment that cautioned him against jumping to conclusions. But when his friends back home told him they had not seen her much lately, his concerns resurfaced. Trust but verify became his new theme. He did not think Jesus would disapprove of that.

Subsequent letters from Mariah mentioned her job less and her undying love and support more. Descriptions of desired sexual activities when he returned were about the same. Of greatest note was her pleas for them to start a family. As usual, she went off the pill while he was deployed because of her desire to be as free of chemicals as possible. She said that if he was ready for a family, they could start as soon as he walked through the door. Adoption was even mentioned as a jump start to increase their family. That seemed very peculiar to Kendall. They had never discussed adoption before. She was pitching the family thing awfully hard. Too hard.

Kendall's 12-month deployment was cut to 9 months due to a major withdrawal of troops the new president wanted. His tour would be over in about a month. He was glad to be going home for two reasons: He would be going back to his wife and he would be getting away from Captain Prescott.

Time after time, Captain Prescott screwed up their missions and endangered his troops. The latest example was too much. They were out on patrol and received enemy fire. Nothing unusual. Captain Prescott panicked. He quickly called in air strikes based on his judgment of the correct coordinates. As a result, air strikes started coming down on the heads of his own men. Kendall took the radio and adjusted the fire and effectively saved the day. It was hard for Kendall to keep the men from fragging Captain Prescott's ass.

To add insult to injury, Kendall found out that Prescott had submitted paperwork for Prescott himself to receive a Bronze Star for the action. The request stated that Prescott had deliberately called in wrong coordinates away from any troops in order to fool the Taliban into thinking the Americans did not know where they were. As a result, they came more out in the open where Prescott soon adjusted the fire resulting in many enemy casualties. Kendall did not have to ask how he could get away with it. The captain's father was General Prescott.

When Kendall told Mariah the good news, she did not react nearly as positively as he expected. Her reaction pushed him over more towards verifying than trusting. That was when he decided to lie about his actual return date. He made arrangements to come home a week before she was expecting him. Kendall felt guilty about lying. He had an 'I just wanted to surprise you' scenario planned out in case he returned home, and everything was fine. That was the scenario he hoped would be used.

Just in case, he played the 'cuckold finds out' scenario in his mind also. Kendall had heard too many 'Dear John' and 'Guess who I found in my bed' stories from his Army buddies not to exclude the possibility and be prepared for it. He prayed he would not have to use that plan. He truly loved his wife and was looking forward to raising a family with her.

The taxi from the post brought him to his house about 8:00 pm. It would have been a cliché event except the strange car in front of his house appeared to belong to his buddy's wife, Amy, who was best friends with Mariah. He was still cautious enough, however, to give the taxi driver an extra $20 to wait a few minutes before driving off.

Kendall entered his home quietly and carefully. He saw Mariah and her female friend in the kitchen with their backs to him. All seemed well. He put his duffle bag on the floor and got ready to announce his arrival. Just then, they turned to face each other so Kendall now saw both women in profile. Amy was rubbing the tummy of his wife. An obviously pregnant tummy.

Despite this sight not quite matching any scenario projected by Kendall, he put the 'look what I found' reaction plan into effect. He picked his duffle bag back up and slammed the door in leaving. Luckily the cabbie had not left yet. Kendall got in and told the cabbie to drive away fast. He was, however, able to hear Mariah scream, "Kendall, come back. I can explain."

"'I can explain. It isn't what you think it is. It was just sex. I was lonely.' Those were the excuses he was told he would probably hear if infidelity was discovered. She was PREGNANT. With another man's baby! It was worse than what he had been afraid of. How could she?"

In accordance with what he had planned should he find out bad news, Kendall checked into a cheap motel. The darker side of his imagination had him wondering if that very motel might have been the place of conception of Mariah's baby. He realized that it was more likely that the baby had been conceived in his house, in his bed. His anger and desire for revenge was fueled. Once in the room, he was glad he had not reactivated his cell phone yet. He assumed Mariah would have sent a variety of, "It's not what you think, and I can explain" messages. Then again, she could have sent, "I had an affair. I love someone else and want a divorce" messages. Regardless of the message, he would have deleted it and turned off the phone. He was glad he didn't have to hear the messages.

Kendall reached in the room's night stand and pulled out the Gideon Bible left there. He sat on his bed. Instead of opening the Bible, he clutched it to his chest, holding it against where the WWJD tattoo was. Then he cried. Stronger even than when his mother had died. When not crying he prayed out loud for help. He begged for guidance.

In trying to figure out what to do now, Kendall wanted to respond to her plea that it 'wasn't what he thought' by saying, "Then you better have a big tumor on your stomach." That was the only scenario he could imagine where he would be making apologies and asking for forgiveness. For a second, he actually considered that it might be a tumor and felt a flash of guilt in case it was. Then he remembered how Mariah and Amy looked while rubbing Mariah's tummy. One does not smile and rub a tumor. That possibility did spark a desire in Kendall's mind to see if he could think of any other explanation that could put his marriage back on track.

"Rape! She could have been raped." he wondered. "My God, if she's been raped and I have reacted by abandoning her, what a horrible man and husband I am." Upon further reflection, Kendall couldn't believe he would not have found out about a rape in advance of his return. Surely someone would have contacted me about a rape. Then he thought, "But no one called about a pregnancy, either." He knew he needed to hear her story, but he just couldn't do it now. His emotions were too raw.

Somehow the sun did come up the next morning although Kendall didn't make it up till noon. Kendall decided the first step in his plan to cover his bases was to get a new cell phone. This would give him some small measure of control of his life again. He could get the phone set up so he could call others, but it would not show his phone number. A new number for his new life. It would be guarded closely.

Soon after getting the new phone, he got some real Kentucky bourbon, not that Jim Beam crap the Army floods the PX with. By supper time he was drunk. He considered his action might mean he was taking one more step in moving to a slum in Heaven, but Jesus wasn't sending him a clear message of what to do.

Awaking with a headache the next morning, he got cleaned up and put a new uniform on. He returned to post to head to the Judge Advocate's Office. His mission was to find a divorce attorney and find out what his options in case he needed a divorce. He wanted to know how much he would have to give Mariah if things went that way. Even if he had not had a hangover, he would not have liked the response. According to Kentucky law, he could expect an even split on assets and pension if he stayed for the full 20. Kentucky had a formula that provided a minimum alimony, housing support, and child support based on what his salary was at the time.

Kendall asked what his obligation was to provide child support if it could be proven he was not the child's father. He was told that he could not compel the child's biological father to take a DNA test, but Kendall could get a DNA test to prove he wasn't the father. In that case, Kentucky law would not force child support from Kendall. He must just be careful not to be listed as the father on the birth certificate. The lawyer told him that if Kendall was trying to think of ways to withhold money from his wife after the divorce, there were few. In addition, the Army would be automatically making the required deductions. The approved portion of his pay would go directly to the mortgage company, utilities companies, and his ex-wife.

Adultery, even if proved, would not have an effect on distribution of funds. It might have an effect on child support, but Kendall shouldn't have to pay that anyway. The lawyer said the total effect on Kendall would be that he would have to support himself as if he were a single E-3. That would mean having to live back in the barracks. Basically, he was screwed financially if he divorced. He was advised to see if there was a marriage to salvage.

Kendall called from his motel room. "Hello."

"Mariah, this is Kendall."

"Thank God you called. I have been worried sick. There is so much I need to tell you. It's not what you think. I can explain everything. I hope you haven't been thinking about a divorce or anything else crazy. I love you so much."

Kendall could not prevent a sarcastic remark, "Now why would a man who returns from 9 months at war and sees a wife who looks several months pregnant might think about divorce? You are pregnant, aren't you?

"I am but . . . "

"And you're not saying it's my child, are you?"

"Well, yes and no."

"I'm sorry Mariah, but unless science has changed significantly since my last deployment, I don't think it is possible for two different men to father the same child."

"It is a bit complicated. Can you come over and let me explain in person?"

"I guess I have to, if not for any other reason than to see how you're going to spin this. How about 7:00 tonight?"

"Honey, can't you come home sooner? I can make dinner. Your favorite meal or anything you want."

"No, thanks, I don't seem to have much of an appetite lately."

"Okay. See you soon. I love you."

"See you soon." This was the first time in their marriage that Kendall had not returned an 'I love you.'

Kendall thought he was prepared for whatever explanation she might present. He did check the batteries in his bullshit detector, just in case. It felt strange ringing the doorbell to the house he had just walked into previously. Mariah came to the door and said, "Why did you ring the bell? This is your home too."

Kendall wanted to make sure she understood his view, "At this point, I consider this to be your HOUSE. I am not sure where my HOME is yet."

"Kendall, sweetheart, it's right here. Come let me explain so we can get this nonsense over with and we can continue our happy life together." They walked into the kitchen. Mariah poured them both a cup of coffee. After a few moments of silence, Kendall spoke first, "Well, I'm really interested in hearing the story about the second immaculate conception in history."

"You don't need to be sarcastic. I feel bad enough as it is. This conception was natural, just like all others since Jesus. I was impregnated by another man. But it wasn't my fault."

"Were you raped?"

"No. Please let me tell the whole story and then I will answer any questions you have." Kendall nodded agreement.

"Several months after your deployment, a chaplain and an officer came to the house. They gave me a letter from the Army saying that you had been killed in action. I was devastated. You were my life. I cried harder than I have ever cried before."

"I know I'm not supposed to interrupt, but you know the Army is notorious for screwing up things. . ."

"I know but at that moment with that official letter, I just fell apart. As far as I knew, my life had ended. Anyway, I called my boss, Shelton Lanier, telling him I could not come into work. I was sobbing, and he asked what the matter was. I told him. He said he would be right over. He came over and I cried on his shoulder for the longest time. It really felt like there was someone who cared for me when I needed it the most. Anyway, the hugging led to kissing and that led to caressing and that led to, well you can figure out what. I knew on one level, it was wrong, but the feelings it created helped block the pain caused by your death.

"Not too long after we had finished, I began feeling horribly guilty. Here you hadn't even been buried yet and I was having sex with another man. He felt guilty too. He is a married man with two children. We both rationalized it was a freak occurrence of events and that nothing like that should or would ever happen again. We promised to never even talk about it again. I said I would resign if he ever mentioned it. And we didn't discuss it again, until we had to.

"Two days later I get another letter from the Army apologizing and telling me the first letter was a mistake, another soldier with the same name had died. I was so upset, I didn't even notice that the rank was wrong in the first letter. My happiness emotion zoomed up with the news that you were still alive and then nosedived with the realization that I had been unfaithful to you, however understandable it was. But surely you see that it really wasn't betrayal. I thought you were dead so in my mind I was not married when Shelton and I had sex. We quickly agreed again that we should keep our moment of weakness a secret from our spouses. There was no reason to hurt the people we loved. It was to be our secret forever.

"In a month or so, however, I missed my period. You know I go off the pill whenever you are deployed. The home pregnancy test showed I was pregnant. I had it confirmed at the doctor's office. I was devastated once again. Abortion was not an option as far as I was concerned. Shelton did not want to terminate the pregnancy, either. We discussed what to do. He said the only option was that I should tell you the truth. He said he would agree to pay child support and even start a college fund for the child if you and I would agree to raise the child. The condition for doing this was that we could not tell his wife. Shelton is even willing to talk to you about it. He is really a nice man despite what you may think. I don't know how I would have made it through this without his and Amy's support.

"I decided not to tell you until you got back because I did not know how you would take it. I was afraid that the news might affect how you behaved in the field. You might put yourself in greater danger if you were distracted by my news. If you got killed because of what I told you, I probably would have killed myself and that would have killed an innocent child.

Kendall found her story incredible, but technically possible, on first hearing. He searched his brain for holes in the story or ways to confirm it. He asked to see the letters.

"I was so mad at the Army, I burned them."

Although that answer caused doubt as to the truth of her story, he tried to put himself in her place. Then he asked, "What should I do if she is telling the truth? What if she's lying? WWJD?"

Just as Kendall was about to tell Mariah he was willing to support her for the time being, she just had to open her mouth again. Many people have trouble stopping when saying less is better than saying more. That was one of Mariah's problems.

"I talked about it with your father. When he told me about you being the biological child of another man and how glad he was he raised you, I really began to believe it might work. The more I thought about it, the more I believed keeping the child was a positive thing for both of us, the best thing for both of us and the child."