The Friend Zone

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Hey Jake,

I'm glad I am able to write to you while I'm on location for this swimsuit modeling trip. Phone service can be hit or miss here on the island, and you know I am terrible with computers. It's good to have a friend like you to talk to. You understand me and I appreciate that I can tell you anything. So, Jake, I was thinking about what you said the other day when you took me to lunch before dropping me off at the airport. You told me you are concerned about me being alone and you urged me to consider dating again. I thought a lot about that on the long flight here. It's all I thought about really. I think you are right and I want to ask if you would help me write a personal ad or something. The guys I work with are so gross with their big muscles and annoying ways. They're always flirting with me and I can't stand the games they play.

Write back soon!

Your friend, April

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Dear April,

I am glad you were listening. I kind of thought you weren't paying attention after the waiter bought us that round of drinks then asked you for your number. What a dick! How did he know we weren't together anyway?! Well, speaking of that, when I said you should consider dating again, I meant someone you know and trust. There are so many unsavory men in the world and I'd hate for you to end up in an unsafe situation. I care about you too much! Can't you think of someone you care about and would be willing to be more than friends with?

Love, Jake

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Hi Jake,

You're so funny. But seriously, Jake, remember that one guy I dated, William? I really liked being with him because he was nothing like the immature jerks I work with. He was big and hairy and balding, but he didn't beat around the bush. He told me straight and I really appreciated that!

The first time I met his friends, they came over to watch an important football game. William wanted me to wear my tallest high heels and my cutest bikini. I made the guys food and brought them beers and listened intently to all their hunting stories and giggled my cutest at all their jokes. However, William told me not to walk in front of the tv or I would need to be punished. I forgot and walked in front of it anyway. When half time came, William told me to pull down my bikini bottom and bend over his lap. I laughed because I thought he was joking, but he wasn't. He yanked my suit down and pulled me over his lap while I fought and screamed. He slapped my bare behind until it was red and I had tears in my eyes. His friends were highly entertained by the show and I was so embarrassed by my exposure and secret arousal. Afterward, William's hand was stinging and I offered to massage it for him, which thankfully he accepted. When that was done, I went back to serving him and his friends and I was much more obedient. I came to respect William for taking the time to teach me how to act.

Jake, will you please help me find another guy like William? I can't believe he dumped me for Katie, saying I was too fat. We are the exact same size!

Thanks, April

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My dear sweet April,

You are NOT fat! You are an extremely desirable international swimsuit model with a rocking hot body and awesome tits! To that, add your long thick blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and a killer smile! You could have your pick of any guy in the world! Why you would be concerned over a cheater like William, I'll never understand.

I'll write the ad for you if you really want me to, but I'm asking you to please consider someone who is kind and thoughtful.

Love, Jake

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Hello Jake,

I am thrilled you agreed to write the ad for me, but I don't know how to explain in an ad what kind of guy I like.

Do you remember Clark? He was that big guy that worked as a cattle rancher. He used to hold both my wrists tightly in one hand over my head while the other hand groped at my breasts. Every day, he spread my legs and thrust his thick dick into me with break-neck speed while simultaneously darting his unusually long tongue down my throat while I gasped for breath. Occasionally our love-making included the variation of me on my tummy. In this position, Clark would push my face into a pillow and hold my hands over my head while he fucked me like a maniac. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed being restrained and the incredible jack-hammer speed of his powerful hips! The weight of his full gut crushing me, and the way he held me so tight made my heart flutter every time he was near. You would think someone working me so hard would tire out easily, but not Clark! He could keep this up for over an hour, sometimes two! Afterward, I was always so tender down there, and I looked like a novice walking in my high heels. Hahaha. Even now when I think of it, my panties become wet. I am still broken hearted that he had a wife and kids. Clark could have been a good match for me.

Jake, do you think you can find me someone like Clark? I mean, sure he was a cattle rancher and made a lot of money, but you know I don't care about that. I have my family's fortune to live off of. If I never worked again, I'd be just fine. I could plant my ass on a beach somewhere and stay forever. Could you make it clear in your ad that I have plenty of money?

Thanks! You are a great friend!

April

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Dear April,

I think it would be a very bad idea to mention money in a dating ad. And April, any guy that is seeing you while married to another is a terrible option!

I'm going to think about how to help you, but I had a big project come up at work that is going to take a bunch of my time. Give me a week or so, okay? In the meantime, think about me. I miss spending time with you and I look forward to your return.

Love, Jake

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Hi there, Jake!

Of course, I think about you! You are such a good friend and you would do anything for me, but just now I was thinking about my old boyfriend Davy. He was three, maybe four hundred pounds and was not able to service me the way Clark did. I had to straddle him, which was hard because he was so wide my knees couldn't even reach the bed. Anyway, I would ride and grind him while he said the filthiest things to me. We played this little game where I would have to ask his permission to orgasm, then he would say no and I'd have to get off him and suck him until he came. Then, I wouldn't be allowed to finish. This drove me wild!! Luckily, he would let me cool down by massaging lotion into his hairy shoulders and back. What a hunk!

One time, I messed up and had the orgasm. I was so overwhelmed with desire for him, and it has been SO long... I just couldn't help it, Jake!! Apparently, my mistake disgusted Davy. After that, he decided he just liked me as a friend. I started baking treats for him, but he soon told me to stop coming around. I was crushed.

Jake, are all the good ones gone?

Your friend, April

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Dear April,

I am going to be honest with you. I am sickened by the relationships you get yourself into, and the way you let these guys treat you. Not one of them respects you. Not one of them treats you with kindness. Listen to me April, I can't hold back any longer. There is something I need to tell you. I was going to tell you when I took you to the airport, but I chickened out. Then, I was going to wait and tell you when you returned home, but this can wait no longer: I love you. I have always loved you. You need to stop this foolish search for someone who is just like your old, fucked-up boyfriends and give me a try. Open your heart to me. You will see I can treat you the way you deserve. I can make you happy April. Please, will you be with me?

Love, Jake

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Hi Jake!

Sometimes you say the funniest things. You know I like guys that are big and bulky. You have a couple of extra pounds but you are no sumo wrestler. Hahaha. I like guys who are bald, or thinning, or especially those who have a drastically receding hairline. You have beautiful hair, Jake! Don't you want someone who can appreciate that? I like guys who are blunt and dominating. You are such a sweetie. You could never be like those others. I can only assume you are joking because I am in tears from laughing at your letter. You always know how to make me laugh. That's how good of a friend you are! My sweet Jake!

Anyway, when you write the ad for me, can you be sure to accentuate the domination trait I like so much?

Do you remember that guy I told you about, Heath? He told me he was going to take my anal virginity. He said it in front of all his friends when we were all out at a bar one night. I thought he was just making us laugh. Then he took me out back, pulled up my short skirt, ripped off my panties and did what he said, though I begged him not to. After that, I thought he was mad at me, and I did everything I could think of to make him happy. He forgave me for whatever I did wrong and things were really good between us. After a few weeks of getting fucked in the ass, I began to get used to it. I was happy to have someone who told me what to wear and what to eat and what to do. I finally felt complete.

Do you know, I hadn't heard from Heath in a while. Recently someone told me Sally is pregnant with his baby?!? OMG, I am SO jealous! Jake, will you help me to find a guy as great as Heath?

Your good friend, April

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April,

Are you fucking kidding me?! Stop this nonsense and be my girl. I'm not doing this anymore.

Jake

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Dear Jake,

I don't know what you mean. Have you written the ad yet? I am ready to get out into the dating scene again. I just need some help finding the right guy. If you can help me as you said, I would be very grateful.

Your friend, April

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April,

How's this:

Stunningly beautiful swimsuit model seeks playboy-type to dominate her body, money, and all aspects of her life. Overweight, ugly and bald (or balding) guys are highly preferred. Applicants should be arrogant, controlling, rude, and be skilled in humiliation techniques. The gorgeous female is submissive and eager to please. She is willing to produce offspring if commanded to do so. She has adequate funds for a lifestyle free from any restrictions. The only rules are the ones you write.

Jake

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Hey Jake.

Why would you say that I want a guy who is ugly? I never said he should be ugly.

April

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April,

When you return, find someone else to pick you up from the airport.

Bye!

Jake

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