The End of Things Ch. 03: Recalled

Artos came the next day, and he and the men spent much of the afternoon in conference; but it was only later I learnt what had happened. Such things were not, then at least, for women.

There was almost a sense of disappointment across the next few months. From my trip to the Saxon lands I had expected something to happen; but nothing did. Merlin's prophecy that the Romans would withdraw was not fulfilled, and my life more or less went back to normal; much to my disappointment.

My mother was curious as to what had happened in the Saxon lands, but I was not forthcoming. She looked at me curiously several times before, finally, as we were finishing making bread, breaking down and asking me outright:

"Carwen, are you still a Virgin? Did you have sex with men while you were abroad?"

I was able to reassure her that I had not had sex with any man, but she remained dubious.

"It's just that you are different, the sort of different a woman is after her first experience of sex."

She was an acute observer, my mother, but I was not telling her what had happened; I did not think she would have understood.

I did confess my sins to Fr Gregory, who heard my confession as though he did not understand what I had said and told me to say a dozen Hail Marys; which I duly did. It was only later that it occurred to me that he did not understand what I had told him. Still, I had received absolution, and that was what mattered.

As we moved into Advent, I helped Fr Gregory as usual. Literacy was not common among us, though most soldiers understood enough to count their pay and read their orders, so I helped him prepare for the Christ Mass. I used to read the Christmas story to the children, and would talk with him about the meaning of the Christ child and the Nativity. He had inherited a good library from his predecessor, Fr Symeon, who had taught me to read, but Fr Gregory was no reader. He liked to have his way and would take no questions from his flock. I did not like to question him too closely, as it was clear to me he was none too clever. His insistence that Jesus was a man and therefore not God by nature seemed to me plainly heretical, and the collection of readings left by Fr Symeon pointed quite clearly in the other direction, But I was a woman, and women were not allowed to comment. But I made sure the children were taught the ancient truth passed on to me by Fr Symeon of blessed memory.

That Christmas was a special time. Artos was home, and having both my brothers there, and my father and mother made it a happy time. As the baby of the family, I was duly spoiled, which I loved, and the men were more than satisfied by the feast mother and I cooked, We invited Fr Gregory and his housekeeper to join us, and afterwards men from the garrison came and joined in songs and drinking.

Drink makes men's habits loose, and the way Owain tried to get his hand up my tunic displeased me; but my father's strong right fist put paid to that. I was happy to serve the men with wine and food, it was part of the duty of the hostess, but unlike some women, I was not tempted to offer them more. I was not sure that the housekeeper should have been sitting on Fr Gregory's knee, but there was no rule against it. My mother told me to "calm down," and by Christmas night all was mellow and calm.

I felt restless, and walked along the path outside the fort. There were sentries for the two mile radius, so I was in no danger, but I wanted peace and solitude.

The night was not too cold. From a distance I could see the lights of the fort and the noise of the revellers, and I felt, suddenly, very alone. I missed Berta. I thought of her often, and wondered what she was doing.

Suddenly, to my surprise, I saw in the darkness a figure approaching. I knew I could call a sentry, so I was not over-concerned; perhaps the mead had calmed me too much.

"Hail Carwen, what are you doing here?"

I recognised the voice of Merlin.

"Seeking solitude, since you ask," I smiled, though he could not see that.

"Do you see the night's sky, over in the east?" He pointed with his staff.

I followed where he pointed and, of a sudden, there was a pin point of light which grew bigger, with a tail, and as it got closer it illuminated the darkness so I could see Merlin's face.

"It is the omen," he said, "you will see."

That was all he said. He walked on, and I stood there transfixed.

So it transpired.

It was toward the end of the year, not long before Easter, that we received a message that a small troop was coming from Camulodunum. Everyone was spick and span when the news came that it would be the Governor himself.

Lucius Septimus was a stern, handsome man, and he inspected the troops carefully, MY father was pleased when his men were praised for their turn out. But his message was less welcome.

"Men, Rome is withdrawing to defend its own borders from the enemies, and of course, every soldier who wants to come with us is welcome to, as is his family. We go by the end of April, so there is no time. Centurion Artos will take your names."

There was consternation. Merlin had been right.

Some men volunteered to go, but my father was not one of them. 

It was a sombre mood that evening as we dined.

After dinner I asked my father what was to be done.

He looked at me.

"That information you and Merlin brought back from the Saxon lands prompted us to plan. You are a clever girl Carwen, so I shall share it with you."

The plan was that Artos, my brother, had put together a cavalry force in each of the seven garrisons in the east, and would, himself, lead a flying column which could move swiftly to intercept danger. The Saxon shore forts like Garrianonum would be the bases from which the force would operate, and they would provide security for the ordinary folk.

We waited.

A few days later sails were spotted, but the ship at the front carried the sign of a parley, a white flag. As it hoved into the harbour I recognised two familiar figures, Edwin and, my heart leaping, Berta.

My father was soon closeted with Edwin, which left Berta and I free. I took her down the little-trodden path by the reeds, near the nests of the marsh harriers. We sat, holding hands.

"I missed you, Berta," I said.

"As I did you, little one."

"What brings you here, not, I assume, just me?"

"Well, to be truthful, it is for you that I came, but Edwin brings a proposal which I hope your father will consider."

I leaned in and kissed her. She kissed me back, and pushed me onto the grass. Learning above me, she pulled her tunic down, releasing those wonderful breasts, and before too long, I was playing with them, my lips fastening onto her nipples, sucking and kissing, drawing both nipples to their full length, one by one.

"You do that so well, little one, you know what pleases me."

She was right, and knowing what pleased her I slid down the bank until my face was under her tunic. She pushed her gooey sex onto my face, wearing no drawers, it was easy. Rejoicing in her scent and taste, I began to lap at her, my hands still playing with her nipples. She rode my face, hard, She ground her wetness into my mouth, and I lapped at her.

My tongue, tube-like, slid between her long lips, which parted to deposit their wetness on my cheeks, their soft silkiness caressing my face like a lover's kiss. As I slid my tongue deep, my nose pushed against her bud, and she moaned.

"Oh, Carwen, Carwen, you little devil, what do you do to me?"

I loved her moaning and redoubled my efforts.

She rode me harder, and I rubbed her bud from side to side with my nose. She began to gasp loudly before her whole body convulsed, and she came hard and wet on my face, gripping me between her powerful thighs.

As she calmed down, I cleaned her, I knew she liked the feel of my tongue there, but softly.

She kissed me.

"I smell good sweetness," she sighed as we kissed.

"You do," I said, "but they will be looking for use and I ought to get back, but first!"

So saying, I stripped off my tunic and plunged naked into the sea, giggling at her as she used the sea water to wash between her thighs.

"There," I said, doing my mermaid impression, "now no one will know what I have been up to."

It was a warm day, and by the time we were back at the fort I was more or or less dry, though my hair hung in rats' tails.

"What on earth have you been up to, Carwen?"

I answered my mother's question innocuously, telling her that I'd been showing Berta where the harriers had their base. She looked sceptical, but let it pass.

Over supper, my father told us what Edwin had wanted, which was to establish some Saxon settlements in our lands. The assembly debated it hotly, but in the end accepted it. There was, after all, plenty of land, and if we gave them some, it would lessen their desire to take it by force. If there were Saxons living locally, then, it was hoped this would lessen the the chance of others raiding us. It was agreed to give them some lands to the north of the estuary which the Romans had abandoned; the marshlands were similar to their own country, and they would make a better fist of farming it than we ever had.

In the course of the next few months many Saxon ships sailed into the estuary, and though most of the settlers went into the Halvergate marshes, some wished to settle south of Garrianonum, and having yielded once made it hard not to give in again.

The one advantage for me was that Berta settled in the marshes with some of her sisters. They established a temple on one of the small islands, and I would swim out there from time to time where we would renew our love.

For a while the idyll continued, but with every fresh wave of Saxons, tension increased. Unlike us, Saxons liked big fields and needed lots of land for their cattle, and where they did not have it, they would encroach on our lands. I am not sure that Edwin ever did anything to stop this, but by the autumn it was becoming a problem.

It came to a head just before the Christ's Mass.

A deputation came to my father to complain that some Saxons had taken land that was not theirs, and when our people had protested, the Saxons had pelted them with stone, injuring two of them. Coming, as that did, after several reports that our women were being molested by Saxons, it was time to act.

My father went to see Edwin, but his attempts were in vain. It was clear, my father said, that Edwin had little control over his fellows. Our people demanded action, and when my father counselled caution, they were scornful. George, who had long questioned my father's tolerance of the incomers, led a cry for action, and disregarding my father pleas, they went south to burn the settlements of the Saxons there.

Fewer came back than went. The Saxons were formidable fighters, and gave better than they got. Our men burned down a couple of farmsteads, but at the cost of half a dozen of our own. It was only the action of my father in calling out the Guard which stopped things escalating. Met by a squadron of fully armed troops, the Saxons decided to turn back.

My father and Edwin managed to calm things down; but they were never the same again.

I would go out to the island secretly and talk with Berta.

I asked her what was to be done, why, I asked, could we not just live in peace. She laughed:

"My darling one, men cannot live in peace. Whatever your Christus says, for men the question is alway 'who will be the master,' they are not like us. You Britons have what they want and in the end they will take it all."

I was sad. She hugged me.

"For me, little one, all the Britannia I wish to conquer is in your small but perfect form. Come here."

As she pulled me to her, I yielded instantly, limp in her arms. However much men wished to be conquerors, I was content to be conquered.

Berta's kisses were warm and passionate, and has her hands roamed over my body, I responded eagerly. By the time she was massaging my small breasts, my nipples were already stiff and crinkled, and my legs had parted to allow her access. It was just how were were. It was not so much an act of submission as a recognition that she loved to lead, and on occasions such as this, when she bent all her arts to my pleasure, I was hardly going to object.

As she sucked on my nipples I moaned, even more loudly when she slipped two fingers into me. The feel of her nakedness against mine excited me, and soon my leg was between her thighs, and we began to rub out wetnesses together; the intimacy was intense. The more we rubbed against each other, the wetter and more excited we got. As I began to orgasm, she joined in. The feeling was the best ever.

"Why," I said as we cuddled in post-orgasmic bliss, "can't our two peoples' get along as we can?"

"That, my darling," Berta replied, "is because we are not ruled by women."

Snuggling in I felt her warmth.

"I am happy to be governed by you, Berta."

"That's only because I give you all you want!"

I smiled:

"Glad you see my tactics, darling one!"

"I see your titlets, come here!"

And so saying, she took me again.

We lay together that night, and as dawn came up, I kissed her and, sinking into the cold water of the estuary, swam to shore. 

As I got to the fort I could see there was a disturbance. Not all Britons and Saxons had spent the night at one.