Rekindle

The headboard slammed against the wall as I thrusted with what was left of my strength. I felt the impending explosion rumbling in my balls and prepared to pull out. Stacy, my roommate's girlfriend, screamed into the pillow as I brought her to a swift orgasm. She was on all fours, bent down as I gripped her waist and plowed into her.

We needed this quickie before I flew home for the holidays. My flight was in an hour, and John, my roommate, was out grabbing beers and chips, no doubt in preparation for spending some quality alone time with his faithful lover. I had gone a whole week without any sex. Final exams demanded my full attention, especially because I hadn't been performing so well in my college courses. By the time it was all over, I was desperate to fuck any living creature with tits, and when John made the fateful decision to head down to the grocery store, that someone happened to be his girlfriend, Stacy.

When I could no longer hold it in, I removed myself from Stacy's soaking pussy and sprayed my cum all over her back. Some of it even got into her blonde hair. All that pent-up frustration manifested itself in one powerful eruption.

It wasn't all that difficult to find satisfaction in Stacy. She had caught me staring at her all night, and as soon as John disappeared, I snuck into his room to find Stacy laying on his bed in nothing but her underwear. We acknowledged each other with a silent glare, as if we both knew what was going to happen. The rest was history.

"You better take a shower before John gets back." I swiped my boxers and jeans off the floor.

"What, you don't think he'll be turned on when he sees another man's cum all over my body?"

"Not if it's mine!"

Stacy giggled. "I won't tell if you don't." She stayed flat on the bed, letting me soak in her sensuous curves.

"Well, there's no one else in this apartment. So, process of elimination..." I checked my pockets to make sure my phone and wallet were in their rightful places. Then, I glanced around the room to see that I hadn't left any more belongings, or evidence, in John's room.

"Seriously, I'd like to still have a place to live when I get back." I nodded towards the bathroom. "Get in there."

Stacy only gave me a snarky look. Whether she was taunting or threatening me, I couldn't tell. I rolled my eyes and closed the door. My suitcase was already packed. With one final glance around the apartment, I rushed out the front door to catch my cab.

--

I was quite excited to be heading back home. This would be my first time since I got into college. I hadn't been back because plane tickets were expensive, and working over the holidays and summer was a good way of scraping the money to pay off my tuition. I had been working since high school, so it was nothing new. My parents had been divorced for a long time and would have been no help regardless.

I left for college at the ripe age of 21, when I had finally earned enough to at least fly over and share an apartment. I figured it was the perfect time anyway, with booze and sex being the rumored highlights of these four-year adventures.

Indeed, I had taken these stereotypes a bit too literally, prioritizing drunken sex and partying over academics. I never committed to a relationship, cheated more times than I could count, and of course, fucked my roommate's girlfriend. All by the time I was a sophomore. Meanwhile, I maintained a C average, flunked a couple of courses, and gave my counselors a run for their money.

But I kept these vices at a distance as the plane took off. I couldn't wait to taste the snow on my tongue, to jump in it like I did as a child. Colorado would be perfect this time of year, especially because my family had rented a cabin for our reunion. It was a spacious one, according to the photos my aunt sent me. It was expensive, too, but we all chipped in to make it affordable.

I was particularly excited at the prospect of seeing my cousin again. Laura and I had been inseparable since childhood, holding hands and playing together on a daily basis. When we grew older, we confided in each other more than anyone else, and I always knew that I'd protect her with my life if it ever came to that.

In the meantime, I was her guardian angel, and she was mine. She pieced me back together after my parents' divorce. She convinced me out of taking drugs in high school but never told on me to anyone. I taught her how to drive and bought her her first car with what little money I had. I was her shoulder to cry on, and when that wasn't enough, her boyfriend would miraculously return with a changed attitude and a broken nose. To say that Laura and I loved each other dearly would be an understatement.

However, we had left things on an awkward note. Laura was 18 when I headed off to college. We were alone in my room, saying our goodbyes. It didn't seem right to clump her in with the generic farewells that the rest of my family received. We meant more to each other than that. After a long, tight hug and a few whispered I-love-yous, she kissed me on the lips. It was only a light peck, but a shock nonetheless. We were way too old by then to be kissing family members on the mouth. I was left speechless and at a loss for how to respond. So, I turned around and rushed out the door. We hadn't spoken to each other since.

That kiss lingered in the back of my mind for the two years I had been away. I would flash back to it occasionally, while reading my textbooks, or when I had a girl underneath me. I tried to suppress it each time, to convince myself that it wasn't desire I felt. But as the plane approached the Aspen mountains, that longing became undeniable. It emanated from deep in my chest, making me simultaneously afraid and excited, guilty and lustful. As the runway came into view, I could almost feel Laura getting closer. It made my heart thump intensely while the butterflies swirled in my stomach.

--

"There's my Benny! Oh, darling. How are you? We haven't seen you in ages!" Aunt Carrie smothered me with her kisses.

I hugged her tightly, having greatly missed the woman who practically raised me. "Dave and Linda make it?" I referred to my parents by their first names.

Carrie turned to her husband, who glanced down. She turned back to me and shook her head apologetically.

I shrugged. "It's alright. I didn't expect anything." Trying to lighten the mood, I slapped Uncle Rob on the shoulder. "How's it been, Uncle Rob? Retirement suiting you well?"

"Oh, y'know. Same old, same old. This woman's still trying to drown me in chores." He nodded towards Carrie.

Carrie responded with a shrill laugh. "Ha! I wish chores could kill. One less mouth to feed." She winked at her husband, who rolled his eyes and waved her away.

Through my aunt's suffocating hugs, I caught Laura standing off to the side, looking at us. Our gazes met for a brief moment. She was more beautiful than I remembered. Taller, curvier. Her wavy brunette hair flowed beyond her shoulders, and I could just barely see the outline of her mounds through her crossed arms. She was bunched up in winter clothing that included a beanie and gloves. I always thought she looked quite cute bundled up and hiding from the cold. She hated the weather, despite having an entire childhood to adapt to it, and would often snuggle up to me for warmth. Her cheeks were flushed, likely from the cold, but possibly from seeing me again. Our eyes snapped away as quickly as they had connected.

After announcing my impending death from lack of oxygen, I finally convinced Carrie to let go. She turned around and beckoned towards Laura. "Laura, sweetie. What are you doing all the way over there? Come here and give your cousin a big old hug!"

Laura uncrossed her arms and let out a sharp breath, clearly agitated. She walked timidly towards me, keeping her eyes on the ground. When she got close enough, she finally looked up, but her gaze darted between me and the background, like she was afraid to lock eyes with me. Then, she gave me a brief and awkward hug. It was clear she was only doing this to please her mother.

Nonetheless, feeling her light embrace and inhaling her sugary scent brought back arousing memories. Suddenly, I remembered exactly what her lips felt like against mine. I recalled the desire in her hazel eyes as we stood inches apart, staring at each other while struggling to process our emotions. During my two years away, I tried helplessly to solve the puzzle of what led up to that kiss. We were so tightly bound to each other that everything we did together seemed normal. I never interpreted any of it as flirtatious or inappropriate. Yet, Laura did what she did so instinctively, as if the meeting of our lips was the natural culmination of years of dancing around each other, as if she needed to do it, lest she never had the chance again. If there was any regret, it only came after. There was no hesitation before.

"Hey." Her greeting was devoid of any emotion. Then, she backed away, crossed her arms again, and stared at the floor.

Carrie looked back and forth at the both of us. "What is the matter with you two? We couldn't keep you apart when you were younger! Now, you see each other for the first time in years, and this is all we get?"

"Whatever. People change. No need to dwell on the past." Laura shot me a warning look, as if telling me to forget what happened two years ago because it didn't mean anything.

I was genuinely hurt by that. Our kiss meant something to me, even if I ran from it at first and took a while to process it. Even if we could just ignore that one night, I was afraid that we would never be the same again, that I'd lost my best friend. Would we never joke with each other again? Wrestle each other around the house? Divulge our deepest confidences? I refused to believe that years of growing up together could be wiped away so easily. And I didn't believe for a second that the kiss meant nothing to her. If it didn't, she wouldn't be trying so hard to avoid me.

Suddenly, Uncle Rob broke the awkward silence. "Leave them alone, honey. They just haven't seen each other in a while. They'll warm up to each other in no time. Come on, let's go. There's a warm, luxurious cabin waiting for us."

The old couple sped off with my luggage, leaving Laura and I walking side by side. There was an unnatural distance between us, like we were total strangers, or worse, two people who no longer wanted anything to do with each other. But being practically attached at the hip for so long meant that I had ways of coaxing my way back into Laura's good graces when she was mad at me, though I wasn't entirely certain they would work now.

I decided to take a chance. I closed the distance between us and gave her a playful shove. "So, whatcha been up to?"

She scoffed. "Like you care."

"What do you mean? Of course, I care! I missed you, L." I kept my hands in my pockets, sneaking a glance to the side.

"Yeah? Well, that's kind of hard to believe at the moment. I mean, two whole years and not a single call, or even a text? I'm surprised you even remember who I am!"

"Come on, Laura. That's unfair. We both know why I didn't call."

Still, she refused to acknowledge me.

"For what it's worth, it hurt like hell not talking to you all that time. I thought of you a lot." I was being honest, though I didn't dare to specify what those thoughts were.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the faintest hint of a smile. I bumped her again. "Come on. I'm here now. Are you telling me you're not happy to see me at all?"

"Pfft. Not as happy as those two." Laura nodded towards her parents. "Look at them, skipping around like little children."

"That's not what I asked. And at least somebody's glad to see my face," I retorted.

She shrugged. "Well, you've got a dumb face. That's not my problem."

I chuckled. "Your face is dumb." I covered her face with my palm and shoved her away.

Laura giggled and retaliated by pushing me back. We chased each other around for a while, annoying some of the passengers at the terminal. Then, our play-fighting subsided and transitioned into a hug, which was much warmer and more genuine than the first. We walked towards the parking lot arm-in-arm.

"Listen," I began. "About the... before I left-"

"Not here." I could sense the agitation in her voice, and having just won her back, I decided to drop the topic.

During the car ride to our cabin, I kept sneaking glances at her. I noticed that she bit her lip constantly and was unable to sit still. I knew she could sense me staring and would have given anything to read her mind at that moment. I inched my hand closer to hers until our pinkies brushed against each other. To my surprise, she responded by hooking her finger over mine, like we were children making a promise. Except this time, it meant something very different. This time, our pinkies intertwined because we desired contact, to feel each other's skin. I slid closer and closer to her along the backseat, until our knees touched. Slowly and carefully, with our eyes dead ahead to make sure my aunt and uncle didn't notice, we slid our shoes off and rubbed our sock-covered feet together.

Neither of us were naïve enough to interpret that as innocent playfulness between cousins. There was definitely a sexual tension between us, and Laura's subtle teasing gave me an undeniable rush of arousal, not to mention a raging erection. My heart pounded furiously as I wondered how I would confront these feelings during the short time that we had.

--

We were the first ones to arrive at the cabin, the others likely hindered by holiday traffic. It was every bit as large as my aunt had described, with two stories, massive windows, and a palatial front entrance. It was mostly wood, with some stone adding a modern flair.

"Christ." Laura was stunned. "I thought it was just us and the Carters." She was referring to the family of Aunt Beth, who was bringing her husband and two sons.

"Well, and your sister," Carrie reminded. "Anyway, I figured we'd go all out this year."

"Yeah, all out of money," Uncle Rob snarked.

Upon the mention of her sister, the color drained from Laura's face, replaced by an expression of disdain. "Oh." Her tone was colder than the ice coating our cabin.

Laura's relationship with Amber was tumultuous at best and outright adversarial at worst. Laura didn't appreciate what she viewed as Amber's exploitation of their parents, demanding the world and giving nothing in return. On top of that, she never acted like an older sister to Laura, which was part of the reason Laura and I were so close to begin with.

"It-it'll be nice, y'know, for all of us to see each other again." Carrie smiled nervously.

"Yeah, I'm fuckin' elated," Laura whispered under her breath before shoving past us.

Carrie let out a melancholy sigh and stared disappointedly at the ground. I gave her a pat on the shoulder and a reassuring smile.

"She'll come around. She always does," I lied. I knew it would take more than a holiday retreat to chill the tension between Laura and Amber. "I'll go talk to her."

Carrie gave me a thankful peck on the cheek before I followed Laura into the cabin. I found her in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. She took out a beer, and, unable to locate a bottle opener, banged it angrily against the counter.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I ran over and swiped the bottle from her hands. "Let's relax a little. Are you even old enough to be drinking this?" I took out my keychain and used the attached bottle opener to crack open the beer.

"Are half the girls you bang old enough to drink?"

I feigned an incredulous expression. "Pfft. What are you-what are you talking about? I-I-I don't bang-who's banging-who said anything about drinking?" I stuttered around nervously, wondering how much she knew of my sexual exploits.

She scoffed. "You can't lie to me. I have my sources." She was probably referring to her friend, Katie, who went to the same college. I wondered if she knew that I helped Katie move into her dorm and was paid in fellatio.

"Anyway, I'm only a few months off. Call the cops if you want." Laura snatched the beer back.

"Actually, the FBI is about to repel through that window," I pointed.

She snickered. "They're here to arrest you, not me."

"Ok, that's not fair. I went to jail one time-"

"Yeah, for dealing drugs! So, who's the real criminal here?" Laura punched me in the chest.

I looked around cautiously. "Shhh, don't say that so loudly!" Besides Katie, who bailed me out, Laura and I were the only ones who knew of my criminal past.

"MOM-" Laura began to yell.

I covered her mouth with my hand and shoved her down onto the couch. She responded by splashing beer in my face. I swatted the bottle away as we wrestled and smothered each other with the cushions, giggling profusely and calling each other profane names.

Eventually, I lost my balance and fell on top of her, our faces coming within inches of each other. We immediately froze in silence, stunned by the sudden intimacy. I couldn't bring myself to move, completely entranced by her lips, which I hadn't felt in two years. Laura didn't bother to shove me away, either, which said a lot. Then, I looked up, and our gazes met. This time, neither of us looked away. I was mesmerized by her beauty, intoxicated by her flowery scent. Desire tugged at my heartstrings.

Slowly, I moved my face closer to hers. I could feel Laura's warm, shaky breath against my lips. Still, she did nothing, made no attempt to push me away. And I couldn't stop myself, either. Our eyes were half-closed when the front door burst open.

"Why do I have to carry the heavy one? You're the man." Carrie entered the cabin with her back turned, scolding her husband, who was busy struggling to drag multiple bags through the doorway.

Laura and I flew from the couch and backed away from each other, creating as much distance as possible.

"There you two are! What happened here?" Carrie noticed the disheveled couch and spilled beer on the floor.

"It was like that when we got-"

"It slipped-"

Our lies overlapped each other.

Carrie was utterly confused, but raised her hands and gave up. "Whatever. I don't want to know. Will someone just help me with these damn bags?"

I ran over while Laura turned around and disappeared up the stairs.

--

I left her alone for a good hour, instead helping Uncle Rob shovel snow from the front porch. When we finished, I tilted my head back and wiped the sweat from my forehead. That's when I spotted Laura standing on the upstairs balcony. Our gazes met for a brief moment before she stared off into the distance.

"We good here?" I gave Uncle Rob a thumbs up.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. Go." He waved me off.

I tossed my gloves aside and rushed through the front door. Inside, I found the stairs and hopped up two at a time. I came to a dead stop upon finding the room that Laura was in. She was still standing outside on the balcony. I took a moment to catch my breath and then walked up to her casually.

"Where's the bathroom around here?" I couldn't come up with another excuse to talk to her.

"It's downstairs. You would've seen it if you weren't sprinting up the stairs." Laura kept her gaze on the horizon.

I felt my cheeks burning up. She always saw right through me.

"Laura, I-"

"We can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Whatever this is."

"But-"

"Ben. Don't."

I stayed silent. Laura was right, after all. Did I really think that I'd make out with my own cousin? Did I think we'd do more than that? I was insane to even fathom it. But Laura started it by kissing me two years ago. How could she succumb to her own desires and then fault me for doing the same? Maybe we were both wrong. Maybe this was all a mistake. But right or wrong, whether it could or should happen, there was one constant, undeniable truth: I wanted it to happen.