Rahab Bk. 05 Ch. 09: Yerevan

We woke early. I had slept well, and on rising slipped away to the Synagogue to pray. As I knelt I heard a voice:

"Why do you seek me here child? Do you not know where I am to be found?"

Then I heard another voice, one I had heard before:

"It is time to complete your journey!"

It was the Holy Virgin

Then came a third voice, one I recognised as she began to speak:

"Seed of my seed, you have fulfilled the prophecy. Know you have the blessing of Danegyth upon you, and of Danegyth and Ealdgyth for your union with your beloved Ana."

My heart stopped for a moment. I suddenly felt the whole of my history flow through me, and I saw a great cloud of witnesses, and they were falling before the Lamb and they were worshipping Him and saying "Glory to God in the Highest." I saw a figure, the figure I had seen in the Hagia Sophia and so many icons, Christ Pantocrator, and from His throne He smiled at me and made a sign of peace. And I saw Him, and I saw His Holy Mother, and by her I saw Danegyth, and they blessed me, and He said:

"Come to me you who are heavy laden, and I will bear you on my shoulders and lead you beside still waters, and the water I shall feed you will give you life eternal. Will you drink of it lady?"

And in His eyes were all the things that were, are and will be, and I saw it all, passing from Alpha through to Omega, and my soul was opened, and new life entered me. I Rahab bear witness to these things. I saw and I felt them. And the words came forth from me.

"I will come Lord, though I do not know the way!"

He smiled, and in that smile was the light of the world. He made the sign of the Cross on my forehead, and in that moment I knew I was His. The Holy Virgin Blessed me. Then, on a sudden, I was alone except for Danegyth.

As she looked at me it was as though I looked in a mirror, so strong was the likeness. She looked at me with love, and I felt it. I was indeed the daughter of her daughter going back centuries.

"My child," she said, "of what is to come I am not permitted to speak except where it bears on the prophecy, but know this, you have done a great thing for the people of the Lord, but do not, my child, think that they are only the Jews, for though salvation comes of them, He has come, and in Him are neither Jew not Gentile, Man nor Woman, Slave nor Free. We are all one in Him."

So saying she blessed me with a kiss. Then all was silence. I let it swallow me, knowing no harm could come to me. If I would but listen and follow, I would be led. I saw my journey. I saw the weakness, the pain, the suffering, and I knew there would be more of the latter; but the weakness felt as though it was slipping into another realm.

And for an age, or so it seemed, I was alone with just the echoes of the voices I had heard. Of a sudden I knew I was no longer alone, no longer the unwanted child who had always needed to prove herself, no longer the one who needed to adapt to be loved; I was Rahab. That, I realised, as the sun rose on my new life, was sufficient. Let the bad things pass, let the dead bury their dead; new life came through unselfish love. What I could not command, what I could not make, was made and came to me as a free gift of Grace. As that thought hit me, I felt the need for her.

I woke my darling Ana with a loving kiss.

Her face shone. I knew her now for what she really was.

"My darling," I said as I kissed her, "I have had a vision, and such a one!"

As we lay there, I told her what had befallen me.

"My darling wife, my dearest one, my heart is overflowing. That you know now that the Way and the Truth is to be found in Him, that unites us totally! That love is manifest in what I give you and you give to me. We were one, now we are one forever!"

We kissed, and as we did, and in that moment, I felt us unite. I knew that in this world we would never part, and felt what I shall discover soon enough, that we should not be separated in the next world.

And so we rose, and took the road to Yerevan.

What had been expected to be the scene of the decisive battle would now become the scene of the triumph of the Ottoman Empire; the question was "who had triumphed?"

The information which had reached Dogu had swiftly been passed back to the main army, which was that I had been slain by the Khan and that victory would consist of the sharing of the spoils with no need to fight further. This rumour was all the more to be credited because there were many who wanted to believe it. How could a woman fight men and hope to succeed? But in the fog of war, other rumours were circulating, that Dogu was dead, that the Khan was dead, so who knew what the truth was?

As we approached the Plain, we saw a huge stage being prepared, and it was clear that orders had been given for a great celebration.

Ana was leading, along with the Commander, and I was carefully hidden away. I could hear the cheering as we got closer. There were excited voices, and the sound of horns being blown and the bells of the city sounded out. Through the curtains of the coach, I could see the Amirs assembling, with my beloved Damila slightly to one side. Amidst the triumph there was also a sense of unease, which pleased me.

I had agreed with Ana that once we had reached the platform, the bodies of the Khan and Dogu would be unveiled in their coffins. As that happened there was an audible gasp. From my viewpoint I could see some of the Amirs looking very uneasily at each other. Then I emerged, in my battle gear, joined by Ana in hers.

"Men and women of the Empire, by the will of God we have triumphed against treachery and force; the right has prevailed! The old Armenian kingdom is now annexed in its entirety to the the Empire. Long live the Padishah!"

A great cry went up from the assembled troops and from the Amirs too.

"This was a victory from God, and those who doubted it now lie dead and disgraced. Do not think I do not know what has been plotted, or that I do not know who plotted. I shall see each of you soon, and if you confess then you may live, for like God, I am merciful. But I warn you now, any further plotting and you will share the fate of this scum - take them and feed them to the pigs!"

And so the last Mongol Khan and the treacherous Dogu went to their last earthly resting place in a way that would bar them from the Islamic heaven. The message was clear and was meant to be.

"And in this new Province there will be a place set aside for the Jews, to be ruled by them and by their laws, subject only to me and to the Padishah whose slave I am!"

I could see tears in the eyes of the Rabbi and of the Jews present.

"And every Jew who wishes to be relocated there can go with my permission; let it be announced that the Great Exodus is underway."

And indeed it came to pass that across the next two years, Jews from all over the eastern region of the Empire, and from the Mongol Empire and the Russian Empire came south and west, and once again the Jews had a homeland.

"Let it also be known that the rights given by the Padishah to the Christians will be maintained, and that the places of pilgrimage in the Holy land will be restored by me, and open to all!"

There were many Christians in the armies on the Plain of Yerevan, and their cheers echoes around the place. I could see the assembled Bishops cheering too. That, too, came to pass, and in my time, the Peoples of the Book, the children of Abraham, lived in peace and in harmony - as much as our fallen nature allowed.

I called forth Commander Kunt and invested him with the highest order of valour the Empire, and the same award went to Abdul the engineer of the Greek fire. To their men a special donation was given, and the two of them were richly rewarded. Already bound to me by ties of loyalty, I wanted them to know that virtue was not its own reward. They served me faithfully.

As the great feast was prepared, I called a Council together.

I asked the assembled Amirs who had made cause with Dogu. To my surprise, and delight, half a dozen admitted their crime. I told them that they would be forgiven, but that any future failures would be met with the bow-string. There was a palpable sense of relief. But just as those who had been loyal were looking discontented, I made the announcement I had been storing up.

The original plan had been to annexe part of the Mongol Khanate, not the whole of it, so that meant a redrawing of boundaries. Those Emirates bordering on Dogu's Emirate and on the Armenian Kingdom would be given territory to the east, but they would give up territory to the west. At this those Emirs who had been loyal, like my lover, Princess Damila, smiled. They, too were being rewarded. I had seen enough of the plotting to know what Dogu and the Khan had promised those who betrayed me. That they now got, which pleased them, but their neighbours who had remained loyal to me, were also rewarded. The fact that the lands they would be gaining were settled and profitable, while the ones the would-be traitors were getting would require hard work to become so, was lost on no-one. The traitors kept their lives and were rewarded, but they would have to work for it.

The reorganisation would keep them busy for years, perhaps a decade, giving them much to do, more money, but more work too. They would have no time to plot treason, and with the Khanate and the Dogu's emirate as spoils, everyone got something. I sent a despatch to Constantinople to the Sultan with the good news - along with gold for his coffers and the promise of an increase in revenue for the future.

At last the Council was over, and we had time to prepare for the feast. I turned to Ana:

"Do you have what we need my darling?"

Smiling, she assured me we did. Telling all but Ana and Mel that I would see them later, I left by a side door.

We went together down to the Harazdan river, and there we met Ana's mentor, Abba Seraphim, who was chaplain to the Bodyguard. A tall, ascetic man with a long grey beard, he greeted me.

"You are sure my daughter?"

"As sure as I am that the Lord Himself asked me why I was seeking Him where He was not. Yes, Abba, I am sure."

"We do this as we have from the beginning, I am sure Ana has explained to you."

"She has Abba, and I am content."

The Bodyguard had preserved the most ancient of Christian traditions whereby female converts were baptised by female deacons; as I was to be baptised naked, it was only seemly that it should be so.

Ana was clad only in a white shift. She and Mel helped me out of my clothes. I stood naked by the riverbank.

Ana took me by the hand into the river. She held my head under the water for a few moments, and as I emerged, she declared, in the name of the Trinity, that I was now part of the family of Christ.

At that moment I felt a flame burn within me, it was as though all that was unworthy, all that was wrong and misshapen within me was purged. And a voice came to me an told me to take care, and that this was a beginning, not an end. I looked at my Ana, she looked at me: love flowed. Mel embraced us.

I knelt before Abba Seraphim who signed me with the sign of the Cross and Ana anointed me with oil. Mel brought to me the Cross that Will had given me, and I have worn it from that day to this. A great wave of peace descended on me, and I saw, as in a vision, the holy dove descend upon me with it. Thus was Rahab the Jewess received into the fulness of the Revelation. I rejected naught from the past, I simply received it more fully. Neither did I see in this new Revelation any need to force others to see what I had been granted. God would work as He decided; not as His tools wanted.

Abba Seraphim received me with a kiss on each cheek.

"In this time, and in this place, this is act of bravery my child, and I hope Jesus will be gracious to you."

"He has already, Abba."

We went back to my chamber by the secret route, telling no one.

The feast was all one could have wanted, and good fellowship and joy flowed forth. Rabbi Rabin and his fellows were in a state of felicity. Their thanks were heartfelt, and in them, I had my reward. The prophecy of Danegyth had been fulfilled. The Jews of Armenia had been saved, and Yeghergis and its region became an ark, a place of refuge, for all the Jews in the region.

At length, the long and event-filled day was done.

Mel and Ana accompanied me back to our chamber. Of a sudden I felt weary, so, so weary; they noticed. They held me. As they did I felt their love, our love, animate me. As I relaxed and let them hold me, a warmth came over me. Where there had been nothing but weariness, I felt life return.

We lay together, their lips on mine, their hands on me, stroking me, loving me, caressing and arousing me. But that night they would let me do naught, and they attended to my needs in a way only intimate lovers can. They knew those needs, and they fulfilled them. It was the consummation physically of what was deeper and larger - our love. I understood then, as I have since that sacred night, why it is called "making love." More accurate still was the description I gave it of "sharing love."

In the physical expression, in the sharing of tastes and touches, in the soft coming together of our desires and the flames of arousal, there were all the aspects of human love, and in the emotions which inspired and infused it were all the aspects of the spirit which animate us. Where the first can be selfish and demanding, the second is giving and patient, seeking the satisfaction of the beloved, and in having it, having for oneself the highest form of satisfaction.

I am told that the French call the orgasm a "little death," but prefer myself to call it a taste of eternal felicity when, as that night, and so often with us, its fulfilment was the bringing together of what each of us really wanted. The lover and the beloved were one. Between us that night, as so often since, there was nothing but love, fuelling a desire which boiled over into orgasms of rare quality.

My own want of desire for a climax in love-making had long been dealt with by the way Ana loved me, but that night, as before and since, I learned what it was for that love to take on physical form, and even though I had begun in exhaustion, I ended in ecstasy.

And when the sun rose that morning, I knew that God was in His Heaven and that all was right with my world. Lying as I was between Ana and Mel, I put my arms around both of them, knowing only one thing, that like Danegyth and Ealdgyth, I was their women in this world and the next, and that they were mine.

As I recollect that day now, in tranquillity, and as I order my papers against what is to come, I do not fear the coming of the dark as I once did. I know it is but the prelude to the coming of the Light, and the gateway to that place which knows neither crying nor tears. I think back to that morning rising, and I smile as I see my wives in the Courtyard now. That I have had such felicity in this world is no reason to regret leaving it, but rather the knowledge it is a foretaste of what is to come.

Had I known then, as I do now, what was to come, I should have changed naught. God's will is done, and at the last I shall return the answer that I did what I was charged with doing, and that in loving and being loved, I shared an example of His love, even if it was not one man in that era could comprehend.

But, of course, until He comes again in glory, Empires will wax and wane, and while fallen man returns to ambition as a dog does to its vomit, it shall ever be so. Felicity in this fallen realm is to be found only internally and in the love we can share. That, for me, has been enough.

Of course then, as now, one might hope that working strenuous days and nights to do what is right, will deliver what is needed, but it is sometimes the hope that is the hardest part of ruling. Mankind is a fallen race, and it has only one Redeemer - and He has yet to return. Until then, sisters and brothers, let us love one another as He loves us. In love did He make the world, and in love will He redeem it.