Princess Cindy

Cindy peeked out of her window to look at the house diagonally across the street. She didn't know the people who lived there but for the past three months she realized the woman didn't seem to be around anymore. The man was still there; she saw him go to work each morning and return late afternoon or early evening. But her car was gone. As Cindy looked, she was a bit startled to see him arrive home early that day. When he got out of the car, she could see his weary shoulders slumped as he slowly walked up their sidewalk to the front door. He stood there for half a minute staring at the door before he put a key in the lock and let himself inside.

"What's going on?" she thought to herself. "That is not a happy man." Her thoughts were interrupted by squealing and crying as Mandy and Chris rushed into the room. They were so full of energy, she at five years and he at barely four.

"Mommy, Mommy!" cried Chris, "Is it true that goblins are real?"

"Why'd you ask?"

"'Cause Mandy says they are 'n' it scares me."

"Mandy!" warned her mother, "You know they aren't real so don't go scaring your brother about them."

"But they are real, I saw it on TV!"

"Now, both of you, relax. Goblins are not real, they're just for fun at Halloween. And when we go trick-or-treating, I'll be there to make sure, OK?"

Mandy snickered at her still-frightened brother but both kids nodded their heads as she wrapped them up in her arms. "Are you getting excited about trick-or-treating? It's in just three more days!"

They laughed and giggled with excitement as her attempt to divert their attention worked nicely. "Now, who wants to help me bake Halloween cookies?"

"I do, I do," they shouted in unison as she led them to the kitchen. She let them help stir the dough and add some of the ingredients. They then took a cookie cutter and made shapes of stars, moons, witches hats and cats. Once the cookies came out of the oven, she allowed them put on orange and black frosting and to have two cookies each, even though it was so close to dinnertime.

"They might as well enjoy themselves," she thought bitterly, "Lord knows it'll be a long time before they have a normal childhood, if ever."

Cindy had had what she considered the perfect life. She had grown up in a loving family which was comfortably middle class. They weren't wealthy but they had had everything they needed. In her early twenties at college she met her dream guy. Ted was handsome, friendly and, once they went out, he never looked at another woman again. They dated for two years before he popped the question and they had a wonderful outdoor wedding on the grounds of a local vineyard. They were both successful, she as an accountant and he as an attorney. Once they had two kids back-to-back, she decided she wanted to stay at home for a couple of years before resuming her career.

Then tragedy struck. When the kids were still toddlers Ted's commuter plane went down short of the runway at their local airport. There were no survivors and the crushing loss of her husband and lover cast her adrift. For weeks she could barely manage to function. Friends helped out taking care of the kids while she tried to deal with her overwhelming grief. The only things keeping her going were her children and the realization she would never need money again. Once the kids were born Ted had purchased a two million-dollar life insurance policy with a million-dollar accidental death rider. His firm also had a policy on him and split the proceeds with her. The airline, once it realized the fault was pilot error, offered each passenger's families five hundred thousand dollars in return for agreeing not to sue.

So, with more money than she ever thought she would need, she decided to move back to her old hometown to live near her parents and to try and start anew. She purchased a modest house in the suburbs, got involved with volunteering to help the elderly with their taxes and financial affairs and doted on her kids. Her parents helped out by taking the kids every week or so for sleep-overs or for little activities, such as visits to the zoo or trips to the lake.

It had been nearly two years since the accident and though she still missed Ted every day, she was able to slowly move past her deepest grief and try to function somewhat normally again. She met a few neighbors, had tea each week with an older lady down the road and, when the children were at her parent's place, was known to have a glass or two of wine with a lesbian couple next door. She had never met the couple across the street and even though she wondered what had happened with the woman, she knew he wouldn't appreciate her nosing into his business.

On the next day she could hardly keep Mandy and Chris calm. They were too excited about Halloween and trick-or-treating so she bought their cooperation with generous doses of cookies. On Halloween her parents agreed to pick up the children from their twice-weekly preschool and take them to their condo and feed them. This would give Cindy a breather after a day of volunteer work and before she would escort the rambunctious two out for trick-or-treating.

Before her parents brought the children home, Cindy kept thinking about the man across the street. Although she had no idea what had happened with the woman, presumably his wife, she guessed he would not be handing out candy that night. Somehow it didn't seem right so she decided to help out. Before he returned home, she filled up a small bag with loose candy and clipped on a note saying: For the ghosts and goblins tonight. Happy Halloween. Signed Your Neighborhood Witch. She darted across the road and placed it on his front step before returning home.

She kept watching until he came home. After he walked up the drive, she saw him stop and look at the bag. He picked it up carefully, read the note and casually glanced around. Before his gaze hit her house, she ducked behind the curtain and held her breath. A minute or so later she looked again to see his porch light was on and the bag had been taken.

Shortly after that her parents came with the very excited Mandy and Chris. Once dusk hit, Cindy helped them put on their home-made costumes. Mandy's outfit was a skeleton painted on a black shirt and pants and Chris went as a ghost with an old-fashioned white sheet for his costume. The kids were proud of their costumes, particularly because they helped make them.

"Mommy, Mommy" asked Mandy, "What are you going to be for Halloween?"

"Oh, Sweetie, mommies don't dress up, just kids."

"No, you gotta go as something. Quick, get a costume."

"Yeah," echoed Chris, "Do something."

"It's too late, Kiddo."

"No, it's not. Wear something nice. Be a princess!" shouted Mandy.

"Well...let me think about it," she answered as she quickly ran through her options in her mind. She recalled she had an old bridesmaid dress she could probably still squeeze into, ran upstairs, pulled out the dress and breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled it on with little trouble. A small table ornament of a few LED lights wrapped around her head became her crown and she was ready to go.

"Mommy, you're pretty," said Mandy in awe.

"Yeah, Mommy, you're like a princess," answered Chris.

"Thank you, you guys are so sweet. Now, don't tell Nana or Gramps until we're downstairs, OK?"

"Uh-uh, we won't," they promised.

Downstairs they were greeted with cries of surprise from her parents. "Oh, Honey, I remember that dress. And you can still wear it even after those two!" her mother said.

"Yeah, I can. Not eating for a few months helped with that," she responded with a pang of sadness thinking yet again about Ted and the months of her suffering after he died.

"Now, Cindy, try to put on a happy face for the kids. This is their night," whispered her dad into her ear.

"I will, Dad, I promise," she answered with her eyes filling with tears and a smile forced onto her face. "Come on, you two. Let's go trick-or-treating!"

The plan had been to take them a couple of blocks while her parents stayed and handed out candy to others. Cindy took them next door where the women oohed and ahhed about the costumes. Then they went on down the street stopping at all the houses. Once at the end of two blocks they turned around and went back on the opposite side of the street. The last house was the one she had been watching for the past weeks.

The children ran up the sidewalk and rang the bell. Once the door was opened, the man looked down at the kids and smiled before he looked up and saw Cindy. The smile on his face seemed to freeze and his eyes remained focused on her before the children started jumping up and down.

"Twick-or-tweet," shouted Chris while Mandy pronounced it correctly.

"Oh, a ghost and a skeleton, wow, you frightened me!" he responded in mock horror before smiling at Chris. "Let me see, I think I have a little treat for you two," he said as he reached into a huge bag of candy. "Here, how about three pieces for the ghost and three for the skeleton?"

Cindy was surprised to see he had his own big bag of candy and suddenly she felt foolish for sneaking some to his place that afternoon. She didn't have time to think about it before he addressed her.

"And who is this behind you two?"

"It's Mommy!"

"No, it's not, Chris. That's Princess Cindy who is protecting us tonight."

"Well, you are lucky to have a princess like that. Princesses are very special people. Thank you for keeping them safe, Princess Cindy," he smiled at her before going on, "I'm Roger, by the way. You live across the street, right?"

"Hi, Roger, nice to meet you and, yes, we live right there."

"By the way, Princess Cindy, do you know of any neighborhood witches who might be dropping off bags of candy?"

Cindy felt her face blush as she stammered out she had no idea what he was talking about. After she finished her babbling, he smiled at her and nodded as if he knew good-and-well who the 'witch' was. In order to save her any more embarrassment he turned back to the children. "You'll have to tell your daddy that you scared me with your costumes."

"My daddy's in heaven," replied Mandy. "He's looking after us all the time."

"I see," he replied in a more somber voice before he looked at Cindy and mouthed 'I'm sorry' to her. "Well, you make him proud, OK?" he said to the children. "Good night and thanks for dropping by."

"Thank you," said Cindy, suddenly saddened yet again thinking about Ted. "See you around. Come on, Kids, let's head home. Say 'Thank you' to the nice man."

"Thank you! Thank you!" they shouted as they ran down the sidewalk.

She turned to Roger and quickly thanked him. As she turned to leave, he said quietly to her, "You have my sympathy. Take care."

She nodded to him and turned down the sidewalk with tears stinging in her eyes. She tried to keep a smile on her face for her children when they arrived home but she fled upstairs in the midst of yet another bout of self-pity and crying.

"Cin, Love, are you OK?" asked her mother from the door a few minutes later.

"Yes...No, not really, Mama. I get this way still. When will it ever stop?" she wailed, tears streaming down her face.

"I don't know, Honey. What happened?"

"That nice man across the street asked the kids about their father and they told him he was in heaven, then as I left, he said something very nice and, and, I just lost it," she sobbed. "How can I be a good mom to those two when I can't even live my own life without breaking down every time I turn around?"

"You're leading a good life. You're there for them. You care for them, you teach them, you dote on them, you love them. That is so much more than most people do." After a few seconds of patting her daughter on the shoulder, she went on, "Look, I'm going to put them to bed and I'll tell them you have a headache. How about two pieces of candy for tonight and then I'll put their bags up, OK?"

"Yes, Mama, that'd be great. I'll have my cry and I should be OK by morning."

"I know you will, Honey. Here, hug?"

"Thanks, Mama, you're the greatest."

The next morning was sunny and bright which seemed to boost her spirits. A hot shower and a cup of coffee also helped her feel better. She was halfway through her second one when Mandy stumbled downstairs.

"Are you feeling better, Mommy?"

"Yes, Sweetheart, I feel fine. Hey, do you want to have a piece of candy for breakfast? I won't tell anyone if you won't!"

"Yeah! Can I pick it?"

"Yup, sure can."

"What about Chris? Does he get any?"

"What do you think?"

"Yeah. It's only fair," her daughter replied.

Cindy took her into her arms and gave her a big hug. "You're the best big sister, being nice to Chris like you are. I'm so proud of you. So which piece do you want?" she asked as she pulled down the bag.

The rest of the morning was a relaxed one. Cindy usually did some casual teaching on those days when the kids were not in preschool. Mandy was clearly a smart girl but due to her late birthdate she had not been allowed in kindergarten. She was already reading a bit and would try to make out words on signs when they were driving in the car. Chris was as smart as his sister and Cindy knew he would do well in school also. She tried to make her teaching casual and fun, but there was always a lesson or a moral behind each of their activities.

-----

The kids were down for a nap a week later when Cindy was in the front pulling up a few weeds and tidying up the yard for winter. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Roger's car pull up into the garage. A few seconds later his car door slammed and she heard him call out, "Afternoon, Princess Cindy."

"Oh, hi Roger, but I'm hardly wearing my gown and tiara today," she replied looking down at her stained jeans and tattered sweater.

"It doesn't matter what you're wearing, I'll always know you're a princess in disguise," he laughed.

"Uh, you're home kinda early, aren't you?"

"Ahh, been checking on my schedule, have you?" he teased.

"No," she answered, turning beet red, "It's that you're so early..."

"I'm just kidding. I actually wasn't at work this afternoon. This is my afternoon for couples counseling but she didn't show."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Thanks, but she's the one who's really gonna be sorry. The judge will be PO'ed. I think this may be the final straw."

"Uh, look, you don't need to tell me all this..."

"Yeah, I know, but sometimes it feels good to talk about it outside of a lawyer's office. I didn't mean to tell you my troubles. Hey, take care and next time I'll talk 'bout something else. Promise."

"OK, I'll hold you to that. And Roger?" she asked as he was turning away.

"Hmm?"

"I hope it all works out for you."

"Thanks. I mean it. Thanks again," he smiled as he turned and walked up his sidewalk.

-----

For the next several weeks Cindy saw Roger only a couple of times. He did not decorate and seemed to be gone for the week of Christmas. Then in late January there was a wicked ice storm with heavy winds. The power was off and Cindy and her kids remained in the living staying warm by the fire. She was able to cook on the gas stovetop by flashlight so she tried to make it into an adventure for Mandy and Chris. They had fun making a tent with blankets and planned on sleeping on the floor while she would take the couch.

While she was preparing a hot chocolate for the kids there was a pounding on the front door. She saw Roger standing there so she quickly let him in.

"What on earth are you doing out tonight? Don't you know it's awful out there?"

"Yeah, but I wanted you to know that your garbage can was blowing down the street..."

"Oh, let it go. I can get it in the morning."

"No need to. I rescued it and the lid and they're now back behind your fence next to the house."

"Roger, that was so sweet. You didn't need to risk a broken neck on the ice for a silly little can."

"It was no big deal. I took my time and everything is OK now."

"Hey, kids, what do we say when someone does something nice?"

"Thank you," they said in unison.

"And then what do we do?"

"Uh, I dunno..."

"Why, we offer them a hot chocolate, that's what we do," she said turning to him. "Could I interest you in a mug?"

"Yeah, thanks. That'd be nice," he answered and turned to Mandy and Chris. "What have you here? A castle for the princess?"

"No, Silly, this is a tent in the forest," giggled Mandy.

"Then where will the princess sleep?"

"She gets the couch," shouted Chris.

"Someday I'll have to tell you the story of the Princess and the Pea."

"Tell us now, tell us now," the two begged.

"If it's OK with your mom..."

"Sure, go ahead,"

Well," he said, "Once upon a time..." he started off telling them the old story while Cindy made an extra mug of hot chocolate. At the end of the story the children were awe-stuck hearing that the princess could feel the pea through all those mattresses.

"I wonder if our princess could feel the pea," said Mandy.

"Oh, I think she could," answered Roger. "She's a special princess, you know."

"Maybe she is, but she is also a mom and mom's need to get their children into bed. So, scoot, you two. Say 'Good night and thank you' to Roger, take your flashlights and get ready for bed."

Once the two were in the bathroom brushing their teeth Roger turned to Cindy and thanked her for the chocolate. "And I had fun with your two, they're sweet kids."

"Thanks. It's a lot of work. I don't see how so many moms are able to do this job and go out to a paying job at the same time. And thank you for entertaining them with the fairy story."

After Roger left, she put the children to bed on the floor and relaxed, snuggled up in a blanket on the couch while sipping a glass of port. As she lay there, she thought a bit about Roger. He was a nice guy, helped her with the garbage can before turning his attention to her children. They ate up his telling them the old story and he seemed to enjoy telling it to them. He used different voices for the different characters and gestured wildly to emphasize some of the story. One of her last thoughts before she drifted off was how nice it would be if her kids could have a male model in their lives.

-----

It was the week of Valentine's Day when they saw each other again. She had just pulled in the driveway when she saw Roger walking briskly across the street to greet her. Once she was out of the car he asked, "Where're the kiddos?"

"Oh, they're still with their grandparents for the afternoon. They should be home pretty soon. Oh, and they loved your fairy tale. They talked about it for days."

"Great. Uh, I wanted to talk with you though, about you, if I could."

"Oh, what do you mean?"

"I'd like to repay your kindness for the hot chocolate. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me Friday at the Daily Grind down on Fourth Street?"

"Let's see, that's the fourteenth...," her voice faltered. "No, oh God, no, I can't!" she cried out as she quickly turned away from him.

"Cindy, what's wrong?" he asked to her back as she ran away from him, went up the stairs and slammed the door. Stunned at her response and lack of an answer, he stood there before he realized Friday would be Valentine's Day. He wanted to kick himself for choosing the wrong day for a casual invite. He returned to his house upset with himself and wishing he could undo his apparent error.

Inside her house Cindy collapsed and wept openly remembering those important Valentine's Days from her past. Her first date with Ted had been on Valentine's and he proposed exactly two years later on the same day. It meant so much to her. She realized Roger had no idea of any of this and she even realized he probably didn't even think about Valentine's when he asked her out for coffee. But she couldn't do it. For her, Valentine's was a day of mourning and she preferred to hole up and let the day pass with as little attention as possible.