New York Agent Ch. 04

I know this has been long in coming out and thanks for everyone support, the nagging helped. I'll try to get the rest out as soon as possible.

If you're not allowed to read this stuff, please don't … blah … I ain't getting into it, ya'll should know the rules by now. This chapter contains a memory from one of the characters being raped, so if this upsets you please don't read it. Also, I feel obligated to mention that some of the rape scene is from a harsh reality so I tried not to add much detail as this would have been an invasion of privacy to a very dear friend. Sweets, thanks for sharing your story and approving of me using it.

Thanks to Genevieve for being an inspiration and friend (and all the hot sex tips!). If you weren't a raging queen I'd marry you in a minute, love ya babes! To AsylumSeeker, thanks for the edit, it made me cringe to see some of the mistakes. Also thanks to the amazing band Alter Bridge for writing the most beautiful song in the world. I had to use it. Enjoy and remember to leave a comment and vote. Love Belle

***

Reilly blinked and saw Jake's worried face above him. He blinked again and saw Jos kneeling at his side. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again it was accompanied by a whimper. Jake scooped him into his arms and almost squeezed the life out of him.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. Jesus," Jake mumbled against his hair.

Reilly closed his eyes again and held on to Jake, wanting to believe the impossible but afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him. "I need to call Emy," was all he could think. She'll know.

"Am I seeing things?" he slowly whispered.

"Open your eyes and look at me Reilly." He heard the voice of his long dead brother.

"This can't be happening."

Lifting his head from Jake's shoulder he allowed Jake to help him up. He ignored everyone and looked straight into the deep blue eyes that were a direct reflection of his own. Deep blue eyes he thought he only shared with his mother and his baby sister.

"How?" he whispered. "They told us you died, we had a funeral. We mourned you. Mama nearly died from missing you."

"We'll get to that later, right now I'd like to know why super cop over here is looking for Jos." He motioned towards Jake.

"Shut up, Hunt." That was Jos. She had moved closer to Jake and was standing in the protection of his arms. Hugging Jake close to her once more she smiled at Reilly.

"I believe introductions are in order. Heath Hunt, meet Special Agent Jake Fox, my brother." Jos walked over to Heath and he opened his arms to receive her. Reilly just stared. Jake took over the rest of the introductions.

"Reilly McCormack meet Jos Fox, my little sister. Jos this is Reilly, my . . . uhm . . ."

"His boyfriend." Reilly finished when he faltered, slipping an arm around Jake.

Jos' face split into a huge grin.

"You found him?" The question was directed at Jake.

"Yes, I did." Jake couldn't help but smile at Jos as he remembered their conversations about finding their "ones". That person you spend the rest of your life with.

"You?" was his simple question.

"Yeah." Jos answered, sneaking a look towards Heath.

Suddenly, before anyone could speak the door burst open and there stood Jordan and Hawke with massive grins on their faces. Holly and Cheyenne were not far behind.

"I see everyone found each other." Cheyenne smiled. Jordan sneaked an arm around his very pregnant wife.

"We'll give you some priva . . ." Jordan started, but Reilly interrupted him. Jake almost sputtered when Reilly started speaking.

"Not so fast Colt. What the fuck is the meaning of this?" Jake stared at Reilly opened-mouthed. Not quite used to hearing or seeing Reilly in "agent" mode. Everyone was quiet, sharing their attention between Reilly and Jordan.

Reilly's blue eyes turned to ice. He seemed to grow taller in Jake's eyes. An unsuspecting wave of lust swept through Jake as he thought of the possibilities of Reilly commanding him. Of Reilly taking charge, pressing his body in to Jake's. An involuntary shudder went through him.

Suddenly Jake realized where he was. He also noticed his hand slowly stroking Reilly's lower back and he was more than aware of the raging hard-on that pressed against Reilly's hip. Reilly, however, was oblivious.

Reilly's fists were clenched. His jaw was set. His eyes shot sparks at Jordan and Hawke. Jake saw the suspicion and anger in Reilly's stance.

"Rei, babe, relax." Jake whispered in Reilly's ear. He tried working his hand into Reilly's, but his fingers where clenched so tight he couldn't move or open them.

"Reilly, loosen your fingers." When Jake's words still didn't penetrate Reilly's conscious, he slipped his hand underneath Reilly's chin and, using as much strength as he could without hurting Reilly, he forced Reilly to face towards him.

"Angel." Jake whispered the word so only Reilly could hear. He felt Reilly's body relax against his. Reilly relaxed his hand and reached up to caress Jake's face.

"Thank you," he whispered, closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Jake's lips. Jake slipped his arms around Reilly's waist and motioned to Jordan that they'd like some time alone.

"I'll speak with you guys later." Jordan said, understanding in his eyes as he carefully led Cheyenne from the room. When the door softly closed behind him only Heath and Jos remained.

Jos had tears in her eyes. She knew her brother was capable of tenderness, but the love that shone in his eyes for Reilly blew her away. She finally understood how two men could love one another with complete passion and honesty. She saw it in how Jake and Reilly were holding each other.

Jos heard whispering and realized Jake and Reilly were having a hushed conversation. Finally Reilly lifted his head away from Jake and looked over his shoulder at Jos and Heath. He loosened himself from Jake's embrace and walked over to where they were standing.

Heath stepped forward thinking, "This is it, he's gonna go ballistic." To Heath's surprise Reilly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Heath. Heath who stood frozen for about two seconds and then crushed Reilly against his chest.

"Heath." It was a muffled groan from Reilly. "Oh God, tell me this isn't a dream."

"It's not Ray-Ray." Heath whispered.

When Reilly heard his childhood nickname from Heath's lips he broke down and started crying. Heath turned tortured eyes to Jos and Jake, but they stayed away knowing that the two brothers needed this time together.

Heath started rubbing soothing circles on Reilly's back. Holding onto him until neither of them could breathe. Then they finally let go, but still stayed close together.

"I think…" Jake started, but Reilly finished.

"We need to get out of here and talk." Everyone seemed to agree. Jake walked over to Reilly still standing close to Heath.

"Can I trust you enough to leave my sister and my love in you care, while I go explain things to Jordan and Hawke?" Heath just nodded and Jake turned to leave, trailing his fingers down Reilly's back as he left.

When Jake had left the room Heath turned back to Reilly and asked, "His love?"

Reilly blushed. Heath laughed at the expression on Reilly's face.

"Oh God bro, you got it bad." He grabbed Reilly by the arm and pulled him into another tight squeeze. Heath finally let go and stepped towards Jos.

"C'mere." He held out a hand to her and she rushed into his arms.

***

Being at home wasn't easy for Jake. Three months ago it had been him. Then came Reilly. Sweet, wonderful, Reilly. Goddamn sexy, driving me insane with crazy lust, Reilly. He still had six weeks of solitude before Reilly finally came home with him and just three days after his sex-life had taken a serious nose-dive, for reasons he still didn't understand.

Now, three weeks after six very long weeks of searching he was sharing his personal space with not one but three people. Reilly didn't mind the whole crazy lust thing, remember? Jos was so much an extension of himself that he had gotten used to sharing a house with her within the first three hours after the novelty of having her back wore off basically.

Heath Hunt was another matter. Jake felt like Heath was following him around. Every time he tried to initiate 'the talk' with Reilly, he was there asking annoying, inane questions that made Reilly remember things from their childhood. Reilly would melt and excuse himself from Jake and slink off with Heath to reflect on all the things they got up whilst growing up. What pissed him off even more is that Heath refused to talk about what happened. Where he'd been. Why his whole family thought him dead.

As if that wasn't enough, Jake couldn't get near Reilly. Every time he turned around Heath was in his face, making damn sure Reilly and Jake were spending some quality time -- apart that is.

Starkers. Stark fucking raving, criminally, shooting up a mall, running around naked at a Red Sox game, selling the brother of the man you're in love with into slavery to a pasha for a sex toy, raving mad. Jake fumed. Did pashas still even exist? Jake suddenly wondered. Fuck if he knew! He went back to brooding. He was sitting at the kitchen table still nursing the beer Reilly had handed him after dinner.

Reilly was standing in the kitchen doorway looking at Jake. He still couldn't quite believe how the hell he'd gotten so lucky to be allowed to love Jake. He also knew about the stark raving mad thing, because in a lot of ways he and Jake were similar and by now he must be ready to start shooting people. That's why he got rid of his brother.

Reilly quietly spent the whole day setting things up. Jake and Jos were out of the way at Jos's apartment, with dire words of bodily harm and torture if they came back until he called them to say things were okay. He could still remember the argument he and Heath had last night.

***

"No way. I'm not leaving you," Heath burst out when Reilly told him it was time he and Jos left.

Jos stood to one side listening to the argument not saying anything. She knew why Reilly wanted them to go and quite frankly she couldn't blame him.

Keeping his anger in check he asked. "Why?"

"How will I keep you safe if I'm not here?" Heath wanted to know.

"I don't need saving, I'm perfectly safe with Jake. I'm an agent with the International Intelligence Agency for God's sake. A special agent; I can take care of myself." Reilly clenched his fists to keep from shaking Heath.

"I . . . " Heath started, but Jos beat him to it.

"We'll be gone in the morning Rei. No worries." Reilly breathed in a staggering breath and turned away from his brother before he snapped. Before he reached the door he heard Heath's voice.

"I just found you, I can't lose you again."

"Fuck sakes, Heath. I'm not asking you to move to another country, I'm asking you to move across town. Jake and I, we have some things we need to talk about. Stuff we can't do whilst you and Jos are here. I'm sorry to have to do this, but when I moved in here with Jake, he said this was my house now too. So I'm done asking nicely. I'm telling you, leave tomorrow. This is my house and you are no longer welcome here."

Jos saw the pain and hurt in Reilly's eyes at having to throw his brother out, but understood why. Jake spoke to her this morning when Reilly and Heath had disappeared and confessed that he was afraid of losing Reilly to Heath.

"As silly as that sounds, I can't help feeling like it's true. I don't even get to tell him I love him. I don't get to kiss him goodnight or good morning. Every time I do, Heath walks in and Reilly jumps up and goes to him like he's ashamed of being seen with me. Ever since we all met up at Jordan's he hasn't said he loved me. He doesn't sleep next to me anymore. He doesn't even sit next to me. When he looks at me, it's with indifference and it's killing me."

Jake went silent after that and just dropped his head into his hands and sat looking lost and forlorn. Jos didn't know what to say to him so she did the one thing she could, she wrapped her arms around her brother and cried all the tears that he refused himself. When she had looked up she caught a glimpse of a shadow moving away from the door and knew either Heath or Reilly had stood listening to her and Jake talking.

She wasn't sure which of them it was until Reilly asked both her and Heath to join him in Jake's study\library to ask them to leave. She watched Reilly leave and turned to Heath.

"You're an asshole Hunt." She saw Heath wanted to respond but cut him off with a raised hand.

"Go pack, before I hit you. Can't you see that they love one another and need time to sort their own shit out? I've known from day one that you were stubborn but I never thought you were stupid. We're leaving tomorrow. You're welcome to stay at my place. If you don't want to, that's okay too, but come tomorrow you and I are leaving, end of story!" Jos left the room after that little speech and Heath started packing. They were gone the next day, right after supper, without saying goodbye to either Jake or Reilly.

***

Reilly pushed away from the doorway and came to stand behind Jake and rested his hands on Jake's shoulders. He could feel the tension in Jake's shoulders and gently squeezed the muscles.

Reilly was afraid that their conversation might make things worse instead of bringing them closer, but he owed Jake at least that. He owed his man that he'd come to love with all his heart the truth.

"Do you need me for something?" Jake finally broke the silence.

That's when realized he hadn't seen Heath or Jos for the last couple of hours, but before he could ask Reilly said, "Jos and Heath went to Jos's apartment. She'll be safe there. Jordan lives in the same building. I already spoke to him. You and me, we've got some things to discuss."

Reilly stepped away from Jake. He grabbed two bottles of mineral water from the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table opposite him. He offered him a bottle of water. Jake took the water with a murmured 'thanks' and set it down next to his beer.

Reilly fiddled with the label on the bottle but didn't open it. He took a deep breath and finally started to speak.

"I'd like to tell you a story. It may take a while and it may not make sense, but I need to get through it without interruptions." Reilly lifted his gaze to Jake's and saw Jake nodding. Reilly took a deep breath once again, knowing it wasn't going to get any easier so he started where he guessed everyone starts; at the beginning.

"Three weeks after I turned twenty five I went to a club called vortex in Los Angeles. I didn't know anyone in the city so I was by myself. Anyway, cutting out the dancing and the drinking -- that's the night I met Scott." Reilly didn't even look up to see if Jake registered the name.

"When Scott came up to me on the dance floor, we danced. Just sort of bumping and grinding, I had my shirt off by then and Scott kept touching me. To say I didn't enjoy it would be a lie, so I won't. After about four songs, he suddenly turned and disappeared into the crowd. Maybe he only wanted one dance partner? Maybe I wasn't hot enough? Who knows? About half an hour later I was getting ready to leave, I didn't notice him anywhere so I just left. I took two steps away from the exit when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Scott standing in the shadows. I smiled up at him thinking 'JACKPOT'!"

Reilly opened the bottle of water but didn't take a sip. He didn't drink, just stared. Jake kept quiet, remembering his silent vow to keep silent. He didn't want to interrupt as this was the first time Reilly volunteered information. Quietly Reilly started to speak again.

"I wished I knew then what I know now. I didn't realize then that the man I was ogling outside of one of L.A.'s biggest gay clubs was a sick fuck. He didn't say anything, just took my hand and pulled me into the shadows with him. I went willingly and we started making out. After what seemed forever to me he whispered in my ear. 'You want to get out of here?' I nodded yes and we left.

"I'm not going into details of our relationship, but things were good for a while. About two months after we started dating I moved in with him. We were the perfect gay couple. I loved him and I believed he loved me. I was flying a desk at the agency because Scott said he didn't want me in any danger. I thought it was sweet, little did I know he didn't want me in any danger except from him."

Reilly hissed in a breath and finally lifted the now tepid water to his lips and sucked down half the bottle in one go. Then he continued.

"It was a Friday, I came home from work and Scott was waiting for me. It was the anniversary of our first year together. Scott whispered he had a surprise for me. I was giddy with love and lust. He stripped me and led me to the shower, washing every inch of my body both inside and out. It was then that I remembered my promise to him. On our first anniversary he could fuck me, before that, there was never any penetration between us. We've had sex in every way but one.

I was primed, ready to do anything to keep this beautiful man with me. He led me to our bedroom and dried me off. He laid me on the bed and gave me a glass of champagne. 'To relax you' he said. I downed the glass and that's where things get a little blurry. When I woke up again, I tried to move but my head was thick. I knew what that meant. Someone drugged me, my first thought after that was Scott and I called out for him. I was worried. Again I tried to move, but that was when I realized I was tied to the bed. Wrists and ankles, spread-eagle with no way of getting undone.

"I strained and cried out again for Scott, fearing something had happened to him. That's when I heard the laughing and saw the man stepping out of the bathroom. Naked as the day he was born, he looked like a pro wrestler. Big, fucking huge, tattoo's covering his huge pectorals. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know where Scott was and suddenly I felt fear. The same fear I felt when going through profiler training. Torture, pain and a lifetime of self-hatred; images I didn't know I possessed went through my head like previews of a horror movie.

"The guy laughed his ass off at me and suddenly called over his shoulder. 'You guys gotta come see this, I think he's gonna shit himself.' I suddenly knew my nightmare had worsened. Three men, all approximately the same size as the first guy walked out of the bathroom. I knew what was happening and resigned myself to it. My only regret was that I was unable to save Scott from them.

"They laughed and joked like nothing was amiss. Then it suddenly got quiet when a fifth man walked out of the bathroom, the four guys parting like the red sea. There at the foot of the bed stood my beloved Scott, my beautiful lover. I cried then, knowing he was okay.

"When my tears cleared I noticed a difference in him. This wasn't my Scott, this was someone else, someone that looked at me not with love but with possession. I suddenly felt very naked under his gaze. There was shame mixed in with my emotions. I tried to speak, to ask him to untie me. That's when the laughter came, laughter that made my skin crawl. It still hurts thinking about the things they did to me.

"Scott was first, of course he had to be, he had put up with me for a year. He took me there in front of the others. Dry, with no lubrication to ease his way. I didn't scream. I was proud of myself that I didn't, proud that I didn't give him the satisfaction. When he was almost done he pulled out and called one of the guys over and motioned him to jerk him off. He jerked Scott's cock until he came over my tied up body. He smiled at me, that beautiful smile that I now thought ugly and nodded at the guys."