Moving On

This was supposed to be a quick little one off that I wanted to get out of my head mainly to write about a couple who go their separate ways without cheating being a factor. But I began to like the Benedict character and will probably write more of him in the future.

-Ahaz

*****

I snapped the battered briefcase shut after throwing the last of my files into it. My eight-year run as an ADA was over. The new District Attorney had let us all know our services were no longer needed. I could tell that things were going to go south as soon as the campaign started. Robert "don't call me Bob" Ross was looking at a possible Attorney General run in the next four years and had made a deal to jump to Lansing if he should lose. To say his reelection campaign was lackadaisical would be an understatement. This left me as the last remaining team member that had put away the "Rape Brigade". That case was a career maker for everyone but me. I had written most of the briefs and fact checked most of the leads. As the newest team member, I got all the shit assignments, but I worked my ass off to help put those monsters behind bars. It felt so good to hear the guilty verdicts roll in. It was also satisfying to see Andrea, the poor woman who blew the whistle on them, break down and cry with relief as they were sentenced to life in jail with no possibility of parole.

I grinned in remembrance of the thought that I was on my way. I even thought of myself as a wonderkid, after all my very first case was a headliner win. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. I found that while we were all trying to put away bad guys, we weren't all on the same team. All the mobile attorneys had great conviction rates. Of course, most of them offered plea deals that were too good to pass up, but it counted as a conviction. Since I tended to stay to the letter of the law, my conviction rate was average at best. As I was boxing up my stuff, I now saw that I had been naive. I truly thought that the law was supposed to protect people. I really thought that if I did my job well things would turn out for me, I would be recognized. Maybe eventually I could use my record on crime to make a run in the political arena. But it was not to be. I now got to go tell my wife I was unemployed. Oh well, I had enough name recognition to get into a decent law firm specializing in riparian rights. With Michigan having so much water, specializing in water rights was almost as lucrative as specializing in mineral rights in Texas. I wouldn't be taking criminals off the street, but I guess I could find some comfort in stopping developers from abusing our coastline.

On the drive home I thought about my wife, Heather. We had been together for ten years next April. She had her master's in marketing and was the true star of her company. I thought ruefully about how our careers were going in different directions. I was going to be at the bottom of the ladder in a new firm at age 32 and she was rising to the level of junior vice president. I was so damn proud of her, but I admit I was a little jealous also. She had been making more than me for the past couple years and to her credit she never once mentioned the disparity in our incomes.

I was wondering what was on her mind recently. She had been pensive for the last six months, staring out into space at odd times. I knew her well enough to know she was contemplating something major. Of course, I had been in my own head also, trying to finish up cases in the two months before the regime change. I also knew she was going to have to figure it out on her own before she decided to tell me. Yes, my mind thought she could be having an affair, but I quickly dismissed it. We had talked at length about cheating. Both of us were of the opinion that if we found someone else, we would tell the other one and divorce before sleeping around. Lord knows it would hurt but at least we would be honest with one another.

She was sitting in the kitchen of our McMansion when I got home. I could tell by the look on her face that she had something to discuss. She gave me a wan smile and started.

"Ben, I have the opportunity to grab a senior VP position, but it means I have to move to Toronto. I already accepted it and am leaving in two weeks. I am also asking for a divorce. I still love you, but I feel we have changed from the people we were when we got married and it is time to acknowledge it and move on." she said in a rush.

My heart went from ecstatic to broken in milliseconds. Hours spent in the courtroom had given me the ability to compartmentalize and think on my feet, so I was glad that I was able to keep a neutral expression on my face. I took a breath and moved past her to the fridge to grab a beer.

"First congratulations on the promotion. I know how hard you work for the company and I am glad that they recognize you for it. Second, what the hell is this about a divorce? I know things have been difficult lately, but this is coming out of left field. I feel the need to ask the obvious question. Is there someone else?" I asked.

Tears were forming in her eyes.

"No Ben, there is no one else. Frankly there won't be anyone for a while since I have to get myself situated and established in Toronto. The reason I want a divorce is because I need to focus on my career and I need someone who wants to advance with me. Ben you are a great guy and an excellent lawyer, but you are content where you are. I am not knocking that, it just doesn't line up with the path I want to take. Please tell me you understand," she pleaded.

"So, I am not successful enough for you anymore. I think I get it, marrying a guy who just made national headlines with a big win makes sense if you are climbing the corporate ladder, after seven years the money and prestige didn't materialize so you are dumping the dead weight," I replied bitterly.

She got angry.

"DAMMIT Ben that is not what I am saying," she yelled. "Yes, I thought you were on your way up but that is because I knew you are a damn good lawyer and a damn good guy. If you really want to know what the problem is, it's that you are too black and white. Do you know how hard it has been for me to watch you scuttle your career because you won't bend even one inch to a potential ally? I know you know don't want to play the politics, but it is stupid to ignore the fact that politics are played."

"So you are leaving me because I am too stupid to play the silly little games when we should be focusing on doing our jobs and prosecuting criminals? I am sorry if I take my job of getting criminals off the street seriously," I shot back.

"THIS is your problem Ben," she said in a calmer voice. "You want to tilt at windmills. You want everyone to clap and pat you on the back when you get maximum sentencing for the mayor's kid. Both of us know that you could have plead him down and still been within the sentencing guidelines. That is just one example. Here is one more recent, you knew you were going to get pushed out after the election. Did you even call Hank?"

"Cass, you know damn good and well I didn't. Once his law firm took on the civil case against the police department, I wasn't gonna go work for them. You forget I saw the body cam footage; the kid was still pointing his weapon at the cops even after he got shot. There was no way that Jenkins could have known the gun was fake. Jenkins unloading his clip was the proper response at the time with what was known." I said, trying to keep my temper.

"So don't take that case! They are already working on it so you wouldn't be asked to join the team. You could take any other of their cases and gotten paid good money while making a name for yourself. But you don't even call! You take a job with Grimm and Straus fighting over water rights for what will probably be a pay cut," she said.

"Cass, this is a good fight, those developers are not only trying to close down the public access to the beach, but they are also pushing for bull dozing the dunes and building right up to the waterline. I can help stop them." I told her.

"Ben, those are my newest clients. My bringing the Madison group into the fold is what gave me the final push to grab the VP slot. This is what I mean. I love you Ben, it kills me to see you shoot yourself in the foot constantly. If you were happy, I would be happy for you, but I know you're miserable. I also know you literally CAN'T change. If you could have you would have by now. We need to both move on with our lives, Ben. You need to find what makes you happy and I need to do the same. We love each other but we aren't making each other happy." she said.

That was a kick to the gut. I have loved Cassandra since our first date, to realize that I wasn't making her happy hurt physically. I took a few deep breaths.

"Babe, let me call Hank, I'm sure I can still get in with him. I'm sure I can grab some cases that will work for me. I know I have been miserable lately, but I didn't realize I was making you unhappy babe, I just want you to be happy," I told her as I started choking up.

She started crying also.

"Ben, I want you to be happy also, that is why I am leaving and we are going to go our separate ways. You would be miserable working for Hank. I think you are going to be miserable working for Grimm also but that's another argument. I have spent the last seven years trying to figure out what I need to do to make you happy and successful and I have failed. You have to figure this out for yourself. I love you Ben, I really hope you find what you're looking for but it's not going to be with me. This is the part where I say I hope we can be friends or at least that you don't hate me, but ..." she said softly. She got up and walked out of the room.

The settlement was more than fair. Basically, all she was asking for was some clothes, some pictures, and her retirement account. She left me her Lexus, the house, my retirement and everything else. A little snooping found out that she would have company Bently and penthouse suite. Along with the five-figure signing bonus, she was gonna be okay. I thought briefly about trying to get spousal support but decided against it. Let's face it, I was already a putz, did I need to have my wife paying my bills as well?

The next six months I took special delight in throwing up every roadblock I could on the beachside development. The Madison group probably wasn't all that evil, they just wanted to build some high-end condos on the beach and keep the locals out of sight. Really, they just wanted to make a few bucks. I was on them like a honey badger. Every time the contractor sneezed, I had a motion for him. I especially delighted in bringing in experts to state that the blue fringed spring toad could possibly come back to the area and a quarter mile section right in the middle of the development was the perfect habitat. After they fought their way through that I hit them with a clause in the building and use restriction from 1910 that required a seven out of twelve majority from the city council to adjust building codes. Since they had cut the committee down to nine members in the 60's they couldn't get the required numbers. I did everything I could do and eventually won.

They pulled out of the project. Leaving all the sub-contractors holding the bag. Some of them had bought supplies looking to get started and now had to scramble to find work. The investors had lost their money and two restaurants which would have brought almost 50 jobs to the area also pulled out. The same press I used to rally my cause now vilified me and the firm. I went from shining star to the pariah of the law office. I had found a nice bar called the Red Horse Saloon. After the announcement of the Madison group pulling out, I would head over for some celebration beers. Now I was drinking consolation beers. I was pretty well buzzed when I called Grimm and told him I was taking a couple weeks vacation. I hadn't been there long enough to get vacation, but I didn't care.

I sat there drinking my Sam Adams Cherry Wheat and took serious stock of my life. I thought back to the conversation I had the night Cass left me. I wasn't happy. I had stuck it to my ex-wife's client and I had set minor precedent for riparian rights encroachment, so why didn't I feel good? I thought about what it actually got me. I was loathed in my community, I was unfulfilled at my job, and I was alone. Cass had sent me three emails total. One saying she got settled in Toronto okay, one wishing me the best and happiness the day our divorce was final. And one congratulating me on my win over Madison. All of them were perfectly polite and sincere. I didn't respond to any of them.

Tonight was 90's night and there was a cover band playing. They had been playing the bar circuit for the last couple year and were a lot better now than the first time I heard them. They were covering Toad the Wet Sprocket's "Something's Always Wrong" when I was overwhelmed by a genuine happy memory. I was still playing guitar with my friends and was about to meet Cassandra.

We were at a small party letting off steam after just winning a mock trial. The beer was flowing, and the joints were being passed around. The basement we were in was big enough for a drum kit, a couple amps, and a few couches. We were jamming along, and I looked over and saw the sexiest redhead. We finished up our Gin Blossoms cover, and I immediately went to snag her. She had on a canvas jacket over a shirt that left her midriff exposed. She must have been poured into those jeans and was sporting a pair of combat boots. She started laughing as she saw me making a bee line for her. I had a fresh joint and two unopened beers in my hand. By the time I made it to her side she had a twinkle in her blue eyes.

"So here's the deal, I actually got to you just in time because there are a LOT of jerks here tonight who will just hit on you. I figure I better protect my future wife from such shenanigans," I said with a smile.

The look on her face was priceless. Then she busted out laughing. I was halfway there.

"That's a new one, I assume one or both of those are for me?" she asked looking at the joint and the beer.

I handed her the cig and the Bud Light, and it was off to the races. We finished the night with a hot make out session. Our second date had me sucking on one of those perfect breasts while seeing how deep I could get my fingers into her pussy. Our third date had her tripping me into bed and reaching into her dresser to pull out a condom. I was a little worried that she had condoms in her dresser but when she put it on me with her mouth, I decided I really didn't care. She wasn't a virgin, and neither was I so more power to her. I actually thought it was cool that she was safe.

That first night was spectacular. We were both in sync, we were both horny and we fucked like minks. Even with the condom I could feel her hot, wet and tight pussy clenching on me. I am of average size but she made me feel like I was hung like a horse. Damn if I didn't pull every trick in the book to make it last as long as possible. We did everything except anal and it took us all night. I want to say I am a stud who can get it up five or six times a night, but I'm not. She got three loads out of me, but I got more than a few squeals from her. One of the nice things about using a condom is going down on her after you've come. I don't mind giving a kiss after a blowjob, but I have never gone down on a woman when she was full of sperm. It just isn't my thing.

We had no business getting married, but we did any ways. She was working on her Master's while I was studying for the bar. Our first two years together about the only thing we did was fuck. We didn't have time for anything else and we were both horny animals. Once I got in with the DA's office and she caught on with her Ad agency things slowed down and heated up even more. We found a few things we liked to do. We camped, (outdoor fucking) we went SCUBA diving, (beach fucking) we toured museums around the country, (hotel fucking) and did pretty much anything else we wanted. Life was good for long time, and now we were here. Or at least I was, she was in Toronto.

I ordered another Cherry Wheat and stared at the cherry in the bottom of my empty glass. Cass could take a cherry stem and tie it into a knot with just her tongue. Damn I really missed her. The thought of going back to our, err MY, empty house almost crushed me. I tried to get pissed off at her, but I couldn't. A few discreet inquiries revealed no lovers on the side. She really was just headed in a different direction than I was. I could have made some changes, she could have made some changes but ultimately, we didn't and now she is there and I am here.

The band had drifted into some newer stuff, right now they were covering Saving Able's "Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance" The guy was over selling the vocals but it still hit home. I had nothing here. An empty house, a crappy job, and a whole lot of bittersweet memories. I made a decision. I called the bartender over and handed him my keys.

"What's up man?" he asked.

"I'm getting the hell out of dodge starting tomorrow, tonight I plan on drinking to all the memories I have had and will probably be plastered by last call. Here's a twenty and my address, when it gets to be last call or I pass out will you call me a cab?" I asked.

He threw his head back and laughed.

"Sure buddy just don't get too loud okay?" he replied.

"Naw I'm a happy drunk, I might cry a little but after tomorrow's hangover I'm moving on," I told him with a grin.

I don't think I made too big of an ass of myself. The bartender, Jake, was pretty cool. We chatted and he sent a round of drinks to the band for me. I bought probably 15 drinks for strangers according to my credit card bill. But it was a good time. I laughed a lot and cried a little as I remembered all the good times Cassandra and I had. I am sure Jake got tired of me talking to him, but he had the patience of a bartender, which is even more than that of a saint in my book. I left him a hundred-dollar tip to make up for all the trouble. I staggered my way out to the cab he called for me at 2 A.M. I gave the cabbie my address and promptly passed out. I woke up at noon on my couch, grabbed some water, puked up everything in my stomach, and went back to bed. I took me almost a full day to recover but I just weathered the storm. I knew I was gonna feel terrible and did it anyways. When I felt human, I started making calls.

I felt almost guilty when I sat down and hashed everything out. We had bought our house during the housing crisis. My job was pretty much recession proof and Cass had gotten in with a solid advertising agency that catered to high end clientele. The rich always had money regardless of what the economy was doing so she was getting raises while others were losing their homes. Our house was one of those. It was the personal house of a contractor whose business had failed, we got it for a song and paid it off within two years. We had it appraised a couple years ago and the number was almost five hundred thousand. The real estate agent told me that the neighborhood was desirable for the white-collar crowd looking to get closer to Detroit. When it was all said and done, I sold it to a nice middle age Indian couple for just over six hundred thousand. I was ecstatic to get that price and they were prepared to go higher, or so they told me after we closed.

I wrote Cassandra and told her I was selling the house and that she deserved half of the money since she put most of the work into it. I got a nice email back saying I should keep it all since she was the one who left. I knew she didn't need the money, but I was pretty surprised she just gave me three hundred thousand. The last part of her email asked where I was going to live. I told her I was keeping my options open, but I had to get away. Her return email was understanding. E-mail was the perfect communication for us, between the alternating anger and sadness I don't think I could have held it together if I heard her voice.