All Comments on 'Lost Colony Ch. 14'
by AllenWoody
- 59 Comments
Fantastic story! The only thing that saddens me is that it's now come to a close. Well done, you should be incredibly proud of the work you've created.
One of the best I've read on this sight. Please write more, just not so much time between installments. Thank you.
My finding this story was by chance. Me getting enchanted and impatient for each part to arrive was all thanks to the skill and imagination displayed by the Author. Thank You for all the pleasant moments spent while reading this wonderful story!
Hmm. I don't know where to start with this.
Overall, it has been a *fantastic* story and I'm very sad to see it go. Your world building has been a great pleasure, and each chapter has been a thrill.
I think my only complaint overall would be pacing. I'm not sure if part of that is the format of publishing in short chapters, but... Particularly with this final chapter, it feels like it could be two or three times longer with ease. (And honestly, I'm mostly just upset because my justice boner didn't get properly satisfied; the resolution felt very rushed and not actually, you know... Resolved.)
I would love to see this story become a published work, and if it does, I would love to see many, many scenes expanded. You built such a wonderful collection of characters, it feels like we never got to stay around long enough to truly get a feeling for them.
Now, all that being said... At the end of a story, if my only complaint is that I want more, it means the author did a damn fine job. I hope that you're proud of the work you've put into this story, and that you can see what a wonderful tale you've woven. I look forward to the next story you publish, and hey... If we occasionally get vignettes from Kaybe, I won't be sad.
Wonderful tale - my only complaint is Callista and Kevin got off too lightly imho, they DID try to kill Alain. But it is your story and tyvm for sharing, now we all will be waiting with bated breath for the next episode of Alain's adventures on Kaybe!
CJ, thank you so much for your kind words, and your support as I started the story. Your up-front advice definitely helped, even if the story took some unexpected directions!
Anonymous: Thank you! Along the way I thought of some new stories that could be told on Kaybe, so… maybe? But right now I need a break from writing series.
Great story. Other than the strange method of overriding security protocols merely by sounding desperate, I could find very little to criticize. Well constructed, well thought out, well told. Like Anonymous, if you ever want to do a deep dive into the future unfolding of Kaybe culture and development, I think it would be a fascinating journey.
Well done. I've been following since Part 1, looking forward to each episode, and enjoying each one. You have done a great job. I hope you have the bones of a new story bubbling away, and I will be looking for it.
I'm sorry to see the series end. I was fully vested in the different story lines. I hope you not only continue to write, but consider a second book on the further adventures of Alain and Bogg!
Thank you so much for a really fantastic sci-fi story with just the right amount (and detail) of sex! As some of the previous commenters have said, it would be amazing for a follow on story perhaps with a trip to another planet discovered by the Originals that you hinted about? It would be nice if some of the characters that Sparr met could be incorporated....
All the best, Julian
Good. I’m glad you have more stories in mind for Kaybee even if they don’t get serialized. You have certainly primed a world for a David Weber or Eric Flint to move into.
It would be nice if he went to find the temple cook and buy/free her. He needs someone to travel with and who better than a good cook. Also if he had a molecular printer to make the air car, it would seem to be likely to find a molecular sieve. Basically a filter for liquids. Filters out specific molecules while letting others pass. It's the SciFi equivalent of Britta filter. For the short term money making opportunities it would have made shitty alcohol into very high quality booze, or even just 100% ethanol that could be mixed with clean fruit juice or something. But then for long term opportunities, if he could built enough and put them in areas with steady wave or tidal action he could "mine" dissolved heavy and rare earth elements out of sea water. No need to dig up silver, gold, platinum, thorium, scandium, yttrium, and neodymium. All the stuff you need to make CPU's. We don't need much but it's rather hard to find when mining for iron... which should be found pretty easily on any of the other semi-local astronomical bodies. There is really no reason to mine bulk metals on a planet. If I was to stay behind I would want an engineer friend and a printer. There wouldn't be much he couldn't build with sand, organic feed (just carbon and hydrogen) plus some rare earth metals.
Absolutely loved the story. Now that he has the support of the Alliance per se I can only imagine what he can do. Help the chief huntress with her illness. Now that he knows that the sounds are the Original's language he should be able to use a drone or such to detect the vibrations and have the translator update the database and use some device to be able to more easily communicate with them. That should in turn allow him to get more insight to more frozen museums and such. I'm just curious if he goes and busts up the Omm racket and slave pens. I would love a sequel detailing his next 5 years but I understand you may be done with this world you have created.
Great series, believable creatures, good plot and lots of twists and turns for the main character. I am happy he got Bogg back also.
great story well put together and the 12 minute difference was a great twist
Very nice story, I really like that it is so involved, but also has an end. Excellent message of balance by the way. My only critique is that a little too much story, (15% - 30% less that what you did), on the relationship between Spar and Calista.
Well deserved on the monthly win. Great reading
Great story. I just wanted to share my appreciation and say thank you for sharing it.
What great story! Complex characters, wonderful story line, great dialog, seems like quality work like this could get published?! Just a thought?!
This story is clearly a masterfully crafted work with each sentence and paragraph formed to describe the unknown world and its wonders. The story definitely deserves 10/10.
If I could offer a plebs critique to this incredible work it would be as follow:
The good- very good set of characters, erotic sex scenes, great descriptions, a creative story and flawless writing
The bad- The part of the main character choosing to be a money launderer seemed out of place.
The ugly- The worked lacked balance. The author shoved 7lbs of descriptions into a 5lb bag. The descriptions while on point and elaborate were too many to enjoy. By the end of a sentence the reader had forgotten what the beginning was about. It cause them to have to back track and couldn't savor the description the author started with. (At times it felt like reading a dictionary entry) The next part that lack balance was the lack of joy itself in the work. The main character's joy only surfaced when he was discussing his love of cataloging and classifying the new species. While I know this was a hardship tale, the joy was too infrequent to keep the reader involved. These elements left the reader trudging ahead at times instead of being caught up in the tale.
Again this technical masterpiece deserves every praise that can be heaped on it. Thanks for sharing this tale.
Just finished it. Awesome story. Captivating and entertaining from beginning to end. Great job!!
Just read the series end to end. Imaginative and original. Thank you for one of the best stories I've read on Lit.
Bravo!
I felt like reading something from Jack Vance - along the line of the World of Durdane.
Well done. This is a compelling world, an engaging story and it is beautifully written. Please keep going on this style. It really sets you apart.
Diamond hard so Five diamonds.
Thank for a great story From all of this story Aliens polar bear coat is a hard won trophy. I hope gets to sale the sea with Janius. Also built with hard wood. I hope to find another chapter of the Ark series, are the clones a one time thing ?
Of you cut down on the sex, added more back story, I believe you have a decent novel
Unbelievably fantastic story. I would happily buy a printed copy. You’ve created a world so rich and diverse, it would be a shame not to follow sparrs exploits… uncovering how the Originals traveled through space and perhaps having Alain jump through that wormhole would be exciting as well! I love how you brought Bogg back to life… we definitely need to find out his genetic makeup… and how or who breeds him.. or encountering a wild pack of Boggs! Sparr definitely needs a steady girlfriend. Check on his child with the Hot Asian Huntress!
Great great story just enough of adventure along with some sex. Great job.
It was grandiose ! I so wish it was longer, but enjoyed the ride very much.
Thank you for this (master)piece ! ❤
A well conceived and well written story congratulations and thanks for the entertainment
I’m don’t normally read these sort of stories but I must say I enjoyed reading this one . There was so much going on you never knew what was going to happen next. I actually worked out Calista was the one trying to kill him earlier in the storyline it was quite obvious really. The ending wasn’t what I was expecting. Plus I was hoping he would end up with Tracee they deserved each other but the Boog puppy was a nice touch. You really should reconsider and do a book two as someone else suggested, there’s sooo much more to this story actually… ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Well done. You avoided using lame/predictable/ubiquitous devices solely to move your plot line, and stuck to creativety & uniqueness, instead. This is the sign of someone who is dedicated to the craft, and is willing to put in the necessary work; something not seen enough on Lit, or in the rest of the literary & entertainment world.
Thanks for sharing your imagination, and especially, thanks for all the work it takes to put together Lit submissions.
A thoroughly enjoyable tale.
GeoD
Great story. I'd love to read more about Sparr staying longer (Bogg to of course)
Thanks for writing and sharing this story.
This is one of the best examples in my experience of that famous meme- what was it again.. came for the boobs, stayed for the story?
I really loved this book! It has so much depth, and the world building was on par with classics like Edgar Rice Burroughs' Pellucidar books. The main character was relatable yet well suited for the role of heroic role model. The sex was varied and interesting, and didn't lose its thrill over the course of the story as I have found to be the case in some other series.
My only disappointment is that I probably won't be able to share this story with anyone without significantly damaging my upright and moral reputation, lol! XD XD
An original and compelling story. 5*s all the way, except for 1 chapter where it decided that it was only 4* and wouldn't let me change it.
Ummmm not sure I can be as effusive with my praise as the others at best it was readable but frankly not particularly compelling and the worst part was the protagonist. He frankly wasn't particularly likable, noble, intelligent or intimidating? I mean a big part of following a story is that your interested in the characters. I frankly liked Bogg and Tracee way more than 'Sparr' I mean come on really Sparr?
The other really annoying thing was the dialogue your the smartest guy in the planet but your internal dialogue sounds moronic half the time?
I'm genuinely not trying to shit on your story but for your future stories think how you want to tell it and why 1st person or 3rd person it makes a huge difference.
BRUH
I wouldn't return to Earth either, especially if I had a newly minted Bogg to explore an alien planet with! It do be sad tho, the gal with the cybernetic eyes is leaving. Seemed like they'd have been a good fit together.
If you ever decide to write a second story, either continuing the main protagonist & his exploits, or simply a new story in the same universe, you'll have a reader in me, you can bet on it.
It's an interesting concept, the idea of a space-faring species' newly founded colony being so harshly setback. Whatever future colonization happens on Kaybe, it'll be done proper now, which is good. The token system and the automated manufacturing facilities & associated tech from the first generation of colonists, I think makes for an excellent dystopian/sci-fi backdrop. The tokens that hold data and blueprints for 3D printed weapons, vehicles, and everything you'd need for a new colony, it's a grim reminder indeed of how far the society has fallen. They use these same mass-produced tokens to buy & sell human slaves, which is rock bottom for our species if you ask me.
Theres something about ruins of former civilizations that tugs at the psyche of all humans. Almost like our subconscious minds telling us to look, to see what mistakes were made, see the fate of those that came before us, see it and understand it, so that we may not repeat it.
5 out of 5, would nutt again 😂👍
Skipped over every flashback scene and most of the sex scenes. I don't feel that I missed anything important to the story. The flashbacks and sex scenes just seemed like fillers to me. The ending wasn't very satisfying, with the two bad guys being shipped back to earth rather than receiving their just desserts. Still, the world-building and the (main) story were compelling enough to keep me reading, so thanks!
Wow i have read the entire series over a couple of days and although at times i found bits a bit jumpy which could be improved by a short series of astericks and a note like approx (insert time frame here) it is otherwise a wonderful story 5*
I could not put this story down. You wrote an excellent story that included some sex rather that a story all about sex. Great job.
I wish I had discovered this story while the chapters were still being released, but the upside to reading it now is that I didn’t have to wait between chapters. Fantastic tale. I was using Lit’s tag system to find a new type of story to read, and it led me here. I’m very glad to have found it. Thanks for sharing it!