Innocence

Many, many moons before I met my man, I had a friend - let's call him Arnold. And I do mean a friend. Arnold was gay, or so my innocent self believed. I was about 18 at the time, and thought I was a worldly woman. A fumble at 15 made me believe I wasn't so innocent but turns out the cherry was still there, but that's another, much more boring, story.

So anyway, Arnold and I would hang out with some mutual friends most weekends and we got on great. Naturally, one night the talk turned to past sexual encounters and they all laughed at my fumble story, we laughed at theirs, then Arnold tells us about his first time

- with a woman.

I didn't think anything of it, presuming that lots of gay men try women first before deciding they went the other way (so to speak) and we carried on laughing and chatting as before.

As we lived in the same part of town, Arnold and I shared a cab home that night, nothing unusual in that, but his mood was a little tense. Putting my hand on his arm, I asked if everything was ok. His response was to grab my face and kiss me! I kissed him back for a brief moment before I realised what I was doing, then pushed him away.

"What are you doing, you're gay!" I stumbled.

"I'm not", he stuttered, "I'm attracted to women too. It's the person for me, not the genitals."

Not knowing what to say to that, I sat looking at him for a moment. He looked so miserable.

I reached out and took his hand.

"I really like you, but I'm not convinced I'd be enough," I whispered.

"Please, let's try," he whispered back.

And so I began a relationship with a gay guy! Ok, a bisexual guy, but we didn't have such words back then.

The next evening, Arnold called at my flat. I'd only been left home a couple of months, so that added to the illusion in my head of the worldly woman. As we weren't due to meet the others that night, this was technically a date I guess.

With a drink each, and some crispy snacks, we picked a video (yes it was that long ago, there were no DVDs!!) and settled down to watch. I think it held our attention for maybe 20 minutes, can't even remember what it was. He'd inched closer to me, and had taken

my hand. I remember being mesmerised by his fingers intertwined with mine. He had very neat hands, with neat nails. Everything clean and in proportion and smooth.

I turned to ask, what I'm sure was a stupid question, and instead found his mouth on mine. Give him his dues, considering he'd spent a lot of time kissing dudes, this guy knew how to kiss a girl too. Firm lipped, but not hard. Caressing tongue without ramming it down my throat. One hand was on the back of my head, the other wandered. Gently stroking down my neck, firmer circles on my shoulders, feather-light across my collar bone and down my chest. He cupped one breast, teasing my nipple through my top and bra. A moan must've escaped me as he drew back slightly to look at me.

"Is this ok?" he asked. All I could do was nod.

Feeling bold, I traced his jaw with my fingers, then pulled his mouth back to mine.

My fingers followed a similar path to his, all the way down to the hem of his t-shirt, then under it and back up his torso to find the nipple I'd felt on the way down. Rolling the stiff little nub between my thumb and forefinger, he hissed and kissed me deeper, mirroring my action on my own nipple.

Breaking contact to ditch both of our tops, he paused to look at me. Feeling self-conscious, baring in mind I have pretty sizeable boobs and my brain screamed I couldn't look less like a guy if I tried, I tried to cover myself. Holding both my hands to stop me, he looked me right in the eye and said,

"You are gorgeous."

Taking me by the hand, he lead me through to the bedroom, again checking that it was ok. Stopping at the foot of the bed, he put his hands either side of my face and kissed me like they do in the movies.

Running his hands down my body simultaneously, it was like nothing I'd experienced before.

My heart was pounding by the time he unbuttoned my shorts and pushed them off my hips. Dipping into his hip pocket, he pulled out a condom wrapper and tossed it onto the bed, then shed his jeans in one sleek movement.

Laying me down, his mouth wandered the same path his hand had earlier. Down my neck, over my collar bone, down to my breast. Licking my nipple like an ice-cream, that was a new sensation.

Sucking it into his mouth was delicious. My previous fumbling hadn't done this or felt this good.

Moving to the other breast to administer the same, his fingers hooked my knickers and moved them down my thighs.

As he shifted to remove my cotton panties, I felt him brush against my leg. Rock hard and pretty sizeable himself. I didn't know whether to run away or embrace it!

My body wasn't letting me go anywhere though. With a nip of his teeth on my nipple, he let go and moved south. Moving my thighs apart and lying between them, he drew back to look at me laid bare in front of him. Holding my labia apart with his fingers, he took in the sight of my juices leaking from my pussy, and my engorged clit peeking out of its cloak. Blowing me a kiss, he swooped onto that clit, licking it out of its hood. I remember watching his head in bemusement until he sucked that nub into his mouth - then I understood!

As I gasped, he let go, moving lower to drink my juices. Delving his tongue up into my pussy, he scooped out what he could reach, but more just flowed down to replace it. With another suck on my clit, he moved back up to my mouth.

"You taste amazing, here taste," he whispered before kissing me deeply. It was a little musky and earthy but not unpleasant.

Handing me the condom wrapper, he sat back. Oh My God! My mouth went dry at the sight, I never knew a penis could look like that. Certainly, the school books never showed one like that! He was like marble, smooth and solid. Not wide in girth, about the size of a

broom handle, so I could almost get my thumb and middle finger to meet around him, but he was tall! Roughly the length of a video tape, with a bud like head and no foreskin. Statuesque, but shit, was that really going to fit inside me?! I never thought I was that deep.

"Relax," he said on seeing my expression, "We'll take it slow. Roll that condom on me."

Tentatively, I rolled the rubber down his shaft, earning a low groan as I went. With wide eyes, I laid back and held out a hand to him.

He lay on his side, with a leg between mine, and just kissed me for a minute or two. His hand started tracing goosebumpy paths across my skin, pinching a nipple as he passed. Looking me in the eyes, he moved between my thighs. Holding his cock in one hand, he

rubbed the head up and down my slit, spreading my juices up and over my clit, before settling at my entrance. Kissing me softly and slowly, he just sat there. Tilting my hips, I took him in a little way.

Taking my acceptance, he rocked a little further in, then out, then deeper in. My god, it felt like that cock was going further and further in forever. I admit it hurt a bit, but it felt good. On and on we rocked until this strange expression came over his face, and his eyes rolled up as he grunted something illegible.

Regaining his composure, he lent down to kiss me.

"I'm sorry, you feel so amazing I couldn't hold back," he admitted.

Withdrawing, taking care to keep the condom in place, he slowly left my body.

He went off to the bathroom to dispose of the rubber, leaving me feeling all "cat with the cream" like. So that's how sex is supposed to be!

When he came back, he took me in his arms and said,

"I'm sorry Zoe, you should've told me you were bleeding. I would've waited if you wanted me to."

"I didn't know I was!" I replied, astonished.

Then the realisation dawned. That fumble a few years back didn't break the seal, so to speak. Arnold had just taken my virginity. I felt foolish and embarrassed. He smiled a very wide smile and said,

"I'm happy to be of service! I never thought he'd get to deflower a girl, but maybe this will be one of many firsts for us."

Our relationship grew, but we still made time to hang out with our friends as we had before. It was on one such normal night out that started putting doubts in my mind. I guess they'd always been there, knowing what I had of his past, but in my innocence, I'd opted to ignore his male attraction.

Seeing a guy trying to flirt with Arnold at the bar one night was like a slap in the face. Not that he returned the guys advances, but it was a stark reminder to me that he did like both.

When we got back to my flat that night, he'd sensed I was brooding about something. Finally letting it out, I snapped.

"How can I ever be enough for you? I can't do the things to you that men can, and I

can't imagine you fitting there in me."

"You give me things no man ever could," he countered, "but if you're talking about giving me anal sex, then actually, yes you can!"

He went on to explain about harnesses and dildo's that fit into it. Effectively telling me I could have my own penis, and fuck his ass with it. With my mouth flapping like a fish gasping for water, I hugged myself and turned to the window, away from him.

Wrapping his arms around me from behind, he hugged me tight and whispered in my ear that I was plenty for him and that I was all he wanted right now.

But the memory of what he said stayed with me. I couldn't sleep from thinking about it. When we had sex, I came hard thinking about it.

Finally, I admitted that I'd like to try having a cock of my own.

With a look of shy delight, he agreed to order what was needed, as I hadn't a clue where to go for such things. Not so worldly, you see.

A few days later, he arrived at my flat like a kid at Christmas, with a box. Suddenly apprehensive, I went all shy. What if I couldn't thrust? What if I hurt him? What if this reminded him he liked men?

Putting the box down, he pulled me into his arms and reminded me what he'd said before.

"You are all I want, you are more than enough for me. We don't have to try this if you don't want to."

"But I do want to," I admitted. "I want to feel what you feel when you push into me. I want to feel what you felt when you pushed into a guys ass. I want to be able to fuck you."

Shedding clothes, we made it into the bedroom. We had experimented with the sofa and even the kitchen table, but we both needed comfort for this so the bed it was. Arnold emptied the box onto the sheets. The dildo wasn't huge or scary, like I'd feared. It was fleshy coloured and smaller than him, so to me at least, it looked more like it would fit.

The harness didn't look like much. A strap that went around my waist, with two straps making a V over my pubic hair (this was before the fashion to be bald), where the dildo would sit. The straps sat together against my lips, then V'd up over my ass cheeks back to the waist strap.

Helping me into it, Arnold kissed me and told me over and over how gorgeous I was. I could tell he was excited, his cock was stiff and bouncing as he moved.

Giving me clear instructions, he watched me lube up my fake cock with a hungry look on his face.

Deciding he wanted me to be able to reach his cock, he propped his lower back up on some cushions and told me how to lube his ass. Taking a blob of the gunk on my middle finger, I massaged around the hole. Taking another blob, I massaged the hole itself. The fact it puckered and pulled my finger in surprised me, though it earned a pleasurable groan from its owner. Taking yet another blob of lube, I pushed my finger in further, working it around and around as Arnold told me to.

His cock was straining by this point, starting to turn that angry shade of red as the blood couldn't enlarge it any further. With unconcealed glee, he said he was ready for my cock.

"Remember how you took me into your pussy that first time? Do exactly the same now. Put the head of your cock against my asshole, and push lightly," were my instructions.

So I did just that.

Kneeling between his spread thighs, I positioned my fake cock against his anus. I lent forward a little and felt the resistance from his ring. Then it was like the door had been answered, and I was pushing my fake cock deeper inside his ass.

Man what a feeling! I guess this is what it's like for men whenever they enter a willing hole, but for a woman to experience that, it was amazing. Watching my fake cock slide in and out of his body was hypnotic, and the feeling of power was heady.

Being able to fuck him, and seeing the pleasure he got from it was indescribable. And believe me, he enjoyed every inch I gave him, his (real) cock was proper angry red now and looked fit to burst. His balls were tight up in their sack, ready to shoot cum over himself.

As I thrust, I gently stroked a finger down his cock. It rose up to meet my finger, so I rubbed his pre-cum over the head. Propping his head up on his hands so he could watch me wank and fuck him at the same time, I watched the expression on his face change. From glorious pleasure to the point of pain, then intense relief as he shot his load over my hand and his belly.

Withdrawing slowly, I slipped off to remove the harness and dildo. With a towel, I cleaned him up, then laid beside him.

"Wow, that was amazing. Thank you so much Zoe, you're a hell of a woman," he whispered to me.

Our relationship lasted quite a while, but inevitably we grew apart. Being so young at the beginning, it was just one of those things. Last I heard, he was happily living with a guy.