How to Fuck Without Saying 'Fuck'

How to fuck without saying 'fuck'

Recently here on Literotica, SisterJezabel published a nice story in which she used the term 'cloven inlet' for a woman's vulva. This was a refreshing change from the usual 'pussy,' a word which clearly has been overused in erotic literature. As I looked into the origin of 'cloven inlet,' I was struck with the multitude of synonyms available to the erotic writer for many common words. What follows is an incomplete listing of words or terms which the writer may wish to consider using in place of the more common words. (The writer certainly can explore many more terms for body parts or sexual acts. Simple search engines can turn up dozens if not hundreds of terms.) Many are humorous and may evoke interesting images. Some of these are national, regional or more ethnic in origin and should be used appropriately in any stories. Care should also be taken to match the terminology with the character(s) involved. For example, a sophisticated woman masturbating might be more inclined to say 'having a onesome' than 'hitting the slit'.

Keeping a list such as this readily available may make your writing more intriguing and varied. These terms for anatomy and common sexual activities are listed in no particular order, some with brief annotations.

BREASTS

The girls

The twins

Ta-tas

Boobs/boobies

Bubbies

(Note: women tend to use the above terms, men the terms below.)

Tits/titties

Knockers

Mammaries/Mammary glands

Hooters

Melons

Bazooms

Bazookas

Honkers

Jugs

Udder(s)

White meat (As in chicken breast)

VULVA -- some terms are used indiscriminately for both vulva and vagina

Pussy, Puss, Kitty

Cooch, coochie, kooch, koochie

Cunt

Cunny -- older term, primarily Br.

Snatch

Twat

Beaver

Bush

Oyster, bearded oyster

Clam, bearded clam

Muff, muffin -- usually ref. to unshaven vulva

Gash, Slit, Crack

Fanny -- Br. term (in USA, fanny refers to buttocks)

Yoni

Punani

Honeypot

Yum yum

Quim -- usually Br. slang

Minge -- usually Br. slang, refers to both hair or vulva

Pink canoe

Taco, pink taco, fish taco, love taco

Promised land

Nirvana

Fur burger, hair burger, hair pie -- ref. to unshaven vulva

Cloven inlet -- archaic

Lady bits

LABIA

Beef flap, beef curtain, meat flap, meat curtain

Camel toe

Lips, love lips, lower lips

CLITORIS

Clit, clitty

Button, pearl, bean

Man in the boat, boy in the boat, little man in a canoe

Happy button, magic button, bliss button, party button, little pink button

Hooded lady

Skittle, sugar plum

VAGINA

Box

Tunnel, tampon tunnel

Love canal, love cave

Glory tunnel

Bat cave

Hot pocket

Vajayjay

Vadge

Front passage

Hole

Cockpit/cock pocket

Cum bucket

Honey pot

ANUS

Asshole

Arsehole (primarily Br.)

Bung hole

Back door/passage/side/alley

Boy pussy/cunt

Man pussy/cunt

Crinkled star

Rosebud

Dirt box

Shitter

Ass cunt

Brown star/spider

Poop chute

Smelly freckle

PENIS

Phallus

Member

Dick

Cock

Pecker

Peter

Prick

Shaft

Tool

Johnson

John Thomas

Willy

Manhood

Third/middle leg

Joystick

Pencil

Skin flute

Giggle stick

Weiner, schlong, wang -- usually N American slang

Willy, horn, honker -- usually Br. Slang

Virile member, propagator, pizzle, loom, pintle, needle -- primarily archaic terms

TESTICLES

Balls

Apples, apricots, acorns, beans, berries, coconuts, eggs,

Nuts, peanuts, plums, spuds, taters, tomatoes

Giggle berries

Nads, gonads

Prairie oysters/mountain oysters/oysters

Cajones, huevos

Crown jewels, family jewels

Beavis and Butthead

Tweedledee and Tweedledum

MASTURBATION -- some masturbation terms are also used for partnered manual stimulation

Solo sex, solo flight

Ménage à un (instead of ménage à trois)

Ménage à moi (ditto)

Me time

Be your own best friend

Sexual solitaire

Doing handiwork

Ruining your/the eyesight

Go blind

Growing hair on your/the palms

Commune with nature

Engage in safe/safest sex

Get to know yourself

Self-abuse

Manual override

Having a onesome

FEMALE MASTURBATION

Clean/polish the bean/pearl

Flickin' the kitten/bean

Clicking/Double clicking the mouse

Diddle the skittle

Diddle

Jilling/Jilling off

Making my/the girl happy

Pet the cat/kitty

Rub the nub, Rubbin' the nubbin

Two fingered tango

Finger painting

Paddle the pink canoe

Girls night in

Play the piano

Tickle the taco

Visit the safe deposit box

Check the undercarriage

Dial the rotary phone

Butter/Buffin' the muffin

Wet the slip and slide

Orbiting Venus

Visit/play with the man in the boat/canoe

Taming the shrew

Putting on lip gloss

Hit the slit

Making my girl happy

MALE MASTURBATION -- Many more terms available than with female masturbation

A date with Palmela Handerson

Beat one's meat

Choke the chicken

Jacking/jerking off

Pole dancing

Rub one out

Slickin' Willie

Blow one's own horn

Burp the worm

Date/see Rosie Palm and her five sisters

Five knuckle shuffle

Polish the rocket/helmet/family jewels/sword

Rub one out

Shake hands with the unemployed/John Thomas/wife's best friend/Yul Brynner

Wank

Whack it

Whack off the weasel

Wrestle the dragon/eel

Walk the dog

Stroke your mole/the poker

Spank Elvis/the bishop/the monkey/salami

Slap the clown/the donkey/salami

Flog the bishop/dong/log/mule

Clear the snorkel

Call down for more mayo

Beat the meat/dummy/bologna/bishop

FELLATIO

Suck, suck job, suck dick, suck cock

Give head, get head

Go south/down/down south

Blow, Blow job

Buff the helmet/knob

Go out/down for ice cream

Hummer, hum job

Peeling the banana

Playing the flute

Singing into the (purple) microphone

Tonsil tickling

Smoke the pickle/pole

Deep throat

Come guzzling

Pay lip service to

Knob gobbling

Give/get a Slurpee

Gamahuche -- also for cunnilingus

CUNNILINGUS

Lip service, pay lip service

Muff diving/munching

Carpet munching, cleaning the carpet

Eat out

Pay lip service to

Clam diving

Eat at the Y, eat down at the Y

DATY, abbreviation for Dining at the Y

Moose burger, fur burger

Go down south. Go down under

Aussie/Australian kiss (as in 'down under')

Yodel in the valley/canyon

Mustache ride

Playing the hairmonica

Munch/eat a box lunch

Faire minette -- Fr: do the kitten

Make her dessert

Having alphabet soup -- refers to drawing the alphabet with tongue

Strawberry kiss or Earning red wings-- cunnilingus during menses

Gamahuche -- also for fellatio

INTERCOURSE

Fucking (of course)

Fornication

Having carnal knowledge

Making love

Copulating

Screwing

Coitus

Bonking

Nookie/getting some nookie (also Nooky)

Shagging (primarily Br.)

Bumping uglies

Hanky panky

Sleeping together

Pounding pud

Bedding someone

Banging

Balling

Humping

Horizontal polka

ANAL INTERCOURSE

Butt/ass fucking

Sodomy/sodomize

Reaming

Anal sex

Fifth base

Fudge packing

Travel the Hershey highway

Bumsex (primarily Br.)

Buggery