How to Eat an Elephant Ch. 05

I'm just an average guy. I graduated from college, got a job, and now my life is mired in what I always hated to see in my parents - the grind of daily existence. I get up in the morning, go to work, return to my apartment, and then do the same thing the next day. On the weekends I go home sometimes, and hang out with my friends. I don't even date anymore. I mean, with all the, ahem, media available for stimulation, why go to all the trouble to get involved with someone. I don't want anyone. I'm not happy, but kind of stuck.

That's not to say I don't "want" anyone. There is one woman I have wanted since I can remember. My Mom, Lisa. She drives me crazy. She has no idea. I try not to be obvious, but when she's around I can't keep my eyes off her. I don't think she has noticed, and I know Dad hasn't - he's clueless.

She may not be the beauty she once was, but she's plenty hot in my eyes. She still treats me like I'm nine, though. She thinks nothing of running from the bathroom to her bedroom in nothing but her robe, and those magnificent tits seem to have a life of their own. It's like they're calling me, "Chris, Chris, come suck us!" Like I say, she has no idea.

So what am I supposed to do? She's always wanting to hug me, and push her tits against me. I do the best I can. I stand about a foot away from her when she does that, when what I really want to do is hug her and then bury my face in her breasts. A couple of months ago she was standing in the kitchen when I went in to get a beer. When I walked by her, I rubbed my hand across her ass, and she almost jumped out of her clothes. If only! She didn't say anything, and I didn't say anything, but I know it made her a little angry. I couldn't help it. I got away with it, I guess, because she didn't tell Dad, either. The rest of the day, I couldn't help it, I was rude to her. I guess I was resentful that what I wanted I couldn't have. It probably hurt her feelings, and I'm sorry for that.

About three weeks ago, I was home for the weekend and Dad had gone away for a golf tournament. If I had tits and an ass like that at home, I know where I'd spend all my time, but he loves his golf. Mom was working in her garden on Saturday morning, and woke me up to help her. I'm not a morning person at best, and all I wanted to do was lay in bed. The last thing I wanted to do was grub in the dirt with her.

But that day! Once I got my eyes open and looked at her, I was all in for whatever grubbing she wanted. She had on a light blouse and shorts, and if she was wearing a bra it must have been one of those thin jogging bras. I could see her nipples, and even the dark outline of her areolas. Or is it, areolae? Doesn't matter, it was all I needed for inspiration.

We went to the kitchen so I could get jumpstarted with a cup of coffee. Mom poured it for me while I sat at the table. I couldn't take my eyes off her luscious ass in those shorts as she got a cup out of the cupboard. She had to stretch up on her toes, and the shorts stretched across her ass. "Dammit," I thought to myself. "Does she have no idea what she does to me?"

She brought me the coffee, and bent over as she sat it in front of me. Maybe the Pope wouldn't have looked down her blouse, but I doubt it and, anyway, I'm not the Pope. She did have on a sports bra, but I could clearly see the outline of her nipples. They were standing out, hard, and I couldn't help but wonder why. I guessed she must have been outside and got a chill, or something, but I didn't care. They were beautiful.

I still remember once, when I was in high school, barging into her bedroom while she was getting dressed. She was just putting on her bra, and turned toward me as I rushed in. I forget what I wanted, but I got more than I bargained for. Her hands flew to cover her breasts, but I got a good look, and I've never forgotten it. And today I was getting another look, not as good as before, but still.

She got herself a cup, again stretching up to reach it, and sat at the head of the table, diagonally across from me. She leaned forward, resting her breasts on her hands, and asked me something. I didn't even hear what she said, my blood was rushing so. "Chris? Are you listening? I'm up here, Honey."

I blushed, I know. "What? Uh, I was just thinking."

"Yeah, and I know what you were thinking!" She laughed, a throaty laugh she has that drives me insane. "You men are all alike, aren't you?"

That shook me. She just acknowledged that I was checking out her tits, and she wasn't mad. Was she flirting with me? If she were any other woman, that's what I'd think. But she was Mom. Mom's don't flirt, do they?

We talked for awhile as we drank our coffee. As much as I tried to stop it, my eyes kept darting down to check out those tits. Several times, as I raised my eyes to her face to say something to her, there was a small smile on her lips. Yep. She knew what I was doing, and she was definitely flirting.

After we finished the coffee, she took me out in the yard. "There," she said, pointing to a corner of the yard against the fence. "There is where I need a hole. Can you give me a hole there, Christopher?" She giggled.

I wanted to say something about how I wanted her hole, any one of them, but I didn't. That might get me the shovel she was holding out to me, and right across my head. While I dug her hole, sizing it for the root ball of the little maple she had bought, she puttered in her flower beds.

She was on her hands and knees, weeding the garden and trimming flowers. She was facing away from me, so I positioned myself so I could watch her as I dug. The shorts had ridden up her butt, and I could see the outline of her pussy as the shorts strained against it. Where do you think my mind went? Of course. All I could think of was mounting her from behind, and driving my dick into that sweet pussy.

She was oblivious. She had no idea. She was working in her flowers, probably thinking of nothing but them, and all I could think of was her pussy and ass. Well, and her tits, too. They were hanging down as she worked, swaying gently from side to side as she tugged at the weeds.

An hour before, all I wanted was to stay in bed. Now, I thought I was in heaven. The only thing that would have made it better would have been for her to be naked in front of me. Since I knew I'd never get that, what I was getting was a close second.

We worked all morning, and I have to admit I was a little sore by the time we finished. She had me dig the first hole, then a second for a spruce fir she had bought, and then she had me weed her flower bed beside her. Weeding beside her was even better than digging holes behind her, because I got several good looks down her blouse. She had to see me looking, but she said nothing.

When we finally finished, we went in to clean up. Mom went to her room to shower, and I went to mine. I changed to a pair of athletic shorts and tee shirt, and went to the kitchen to see if I could rustle up some lunch. When I got there, Mom was already making sandwiches. She had on her robe and, I'll swear to God, it didn't look like she had anything on under it. Her tits were swinging free. They weren't as pert and upright as I remembered from the time I saw her, but her robe didn't leave much to the imagination and they looked great to me.

"Honey, you want to make your Mom happy?"

"Hell, yes," I thought. "I'd do anything right now to make you happy."

But that's not what I said. "Sure, Mom. Depends on what it is."

"Sarah and Victoria wanted to have a cookout tonight at Sarah's. Will you go with us? I think Jim and Billy will be there."

"Sure. Sounds like fun." It didn't sound like much fun. I knew the conversation would eventually get around to the fact that Jim, Bill, and I were losers, with no goals and no ambition. That was a recurrent theme, seemed like. But, since I'd probably be hanging with them anyway, what else could I say?

Dad got home, and I could tell he was no more excited about the cookout than I was. After playing 18 holes, all he wanted to do was curl up with a couple of beers. But, like me, he knew better than to argue so, around six or so, we headed to Sarah's.

The good thing was that they had a lot of cold beer ready. The husbands went to the basement to watch a game and play pool. Since that was where we guys usually hung out, we were kind of stuck. Sarah said, "Let's adjourn to the den. Maybe we can find a movie to watch, or something."

I looked over at Bill, expecting to find a kindred spirit so we could roll our eyes at each other, and I didn't get it. Bill was standing there with Victoria, holding her hand, for Chrissake. Then I looked over at Jim, and he was doing the same thing with Sarah. There was another family there, Sam and his Mother, Bonnie, and they were holding hands, too. I knew Sam, but he had gone to another high school. "What the hell is this," I thought. "Has the world gone mad? These guys don't get along with their Mothers any better than I do with Mom, and they're standing there holding hands?"

We took our beers in the den, and everybody sat down, but they sat by couples. That was just not the way we would do it. In a situation like this, the guys would sit on one couch while the Moms sat on the other. But they were sitting together, so I had to sit by Mom. I looked at them, and they were all sitting there holding hands, again. "This is beyond odd," I thought. "What the hell is going on here?"

Mom reached over and took my hand. The last time we held hands was when she would make me hold her hand crossing the street, and now here I was sitting on a couch holding hands with her. She took our hands and rested them on her leg. She was wearing yoga pants, like the other three Moms, and I could feel the heat of her leg beneath my hand.

I checked out the other Moms. Every one had an angelic smile. Sarah, with her long brown hair, was looking as good as she always did. Victoria had dark hair, too, and was hot. I always had a thing for Victoria. I looked at Bill, and he had a shit-eating grin on his face as he leaned over and whispered something in Vic's ear. "What the hell? This was like some college sorority party, before the beer started flowing and the Tri Deltas started taking their clothes off." My thoughts were racing.

But the hottest of the three was the new gal, Bonnie. She was a plump little blonde, with a beautiful wide face, sprinkled with freckles. Like Mom, she had a nice rack. What turned me on, though, was that she couldn't seem to keep her hands off Sam. She kept rubbing his leg, and was turned toward him so that her tits were resting on his arm. I'll swear, he had a boner.

Mom kind of rubbed my hand on her thighs, and then I had a boner, too. Who could help it? I had a pair of board shorts on, and was wearing boxers beneath them, so my dick was pretty obvious, I guess. Mom didn't notice, though, but I think I caught Victoria checking it out. She looked up at me and gave a little smile. "What the hell?," I thought. "What the hell is going on here?"

Then Dad and Jim's dad walked in, on the way to the kitchen for more beer. Like a flash, all the hand holding stopped, and the Mothers kind of scooted away from the guys. Mom quickly reached behind her for a pillow and put it in my lap.

I'll swear, it was like when we were teen-agers and we'd get caught by Mom making out with our girlfriends in the basement. When we heard the door open, we'd scoot away and there would be two feet between every one of us. But this was just weird. Why would the Moms not want to get caught holding hands with their sons? I mean, that was a little strange on the face of it, but why would they try to hide it?

And Mom had been aware I was sitting beside her with a hard dick? Clearly she knew, or she wouldn't have given me the pillow.

What the fuck was going on?

Sarah said to her husband, "Honey, don't you think we should get the steaks on?" That inspired everyone to collect their beers and wander to the back yard. The dads were in a collective effort, discussing the best way to grill a steak, like it was the most important thing since the lunar landing. The Moms went back into the kitchen, to get the side dishes and place settings.

The guys, Jim, Bill, Sam, and I wandered over to the corner of the yard.

I couldn't wait. "Dudes. What the fuck was going on in there? You were acting like you were with a girlfriend instead of with your Moms."

Jim laughed. "And you were the one sitting there with your boner sticking up like a cypress."

I laughed, too. "Cypress, hell. That was a damned sequoia!" Everybody laughed then.

Bill said, "Looked like one of those Japanese bonsai, to me. You know, the tiny little trees?"

"But seriously. What was going on?"

Jim looked at me. "Your Mom is a beautiful woman and unless you've changed, and based on that boner I don't think you have, you've always had a thing for her."

"Yeah. So?" Yeah, I always had a thing for Mom, but then so had Jim and Bill for their Moms. We used to spend half our time talking about how we'd like to jump them. That's what teen-aged boys do. Talk about wanting to fuck their Moms and everybody else's Mom. But we weren't teen-agers anymore. That was a kind of weird thing to be talking about now.

Bill chimed in. "We decided that having a constant cold war with our Moms was not good for anyone. We just wanted to get a little closer, that's all. Wouldn't you like to get closer to Lisa?"

"Yeah, but, Dude. We're not horny teen-agers any more."

"That's right. We're horny twenty-somethings now. If you treat Lisa like a woman, maybe she'll treat you as a man."

This was getting a little deep for me. It's one thing to joke about stuff like that, but these guys seemed dead serious. "So how did you get from there, to sitting on a couch holding hands?"

They all three laughed. Jim said, "Well, it's like eating an elephant," and they all laughed harder. I was getting pissed a little bit. You know. Four guys and three of them seem to have an inside joke. It's going to make the outsider a little pissed off.

"You know how to eat an elephant, Chris?"

"Fuck you."

Bill said, "No. Serious, Chris. You eat an elephant a bite at a time. You start with a small bite, keep eating slowly and surely, and before you know it you've eaten the whole elephant. That's what we did. We started with small bites, and now we've eaten the elephant."

I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, so I looked from face to face. Each of them had a serious look. I looked over at our dads, still arguing about the steaks, and then to the tables where our Moms were setting up. The Moms were giggling and laughing, and several times they'd look over at us.

"You ate the elephant? What does that mean?"

"What do you want more than anything in the world, Chris? Whatever it is...whatever it is, you can have it if you treat it like eating an elephant. You can have it, Chris," Jim said with an emphasis on "have it."

What they were saying, or what they might have been saying, dawned on me. "You mean...?"

"Yep. Ate that elephant."

"You mean...?" I couldn't say it.

Bill cleared his throat. "I'll say what I said before. Wouldn't you like to get closer to Lisa?"

This was just too weird. I was standing her with three of my friends, and I think they were telling me they were fucking their Moms. Could this be some kind of "gotcha" set-up?

I thought I'd play along, just to see where it went. "Yeah. Who wouldn't? Look at her."

All three pairs of eyes went to Mom. I have to say, I was proud of her. She was looking good. She was practically radiant, and those tits were on full display as she stood sideways to us. I repeated, kind of under my breath, "Yeah. Who wouldn't?"

At that moment, the steaks were done and we all moved toward the tables. The dads took one table, and the four pairs of Moms and Sons spread between the others. It didn't look as weird as you might think. It was just an innocent pairing of Mothers and Sons, but when I thought that these Sons might be fucking their Mothers, well...

We reverted to our teen-aged years, I guess. We chugged bear, had corn on the cob eating contests, and acted like our normal selves. Underneath it all, though, were constant signs of affection between the guys and their Moms. Touching hands. Legs touching under the tables. Secret smiles. Mom was getting into it, too, it seemed. We had never been real touchy-feely since I as a kid, but she was that night.

After dinner, we again went to where we were before - the dads down in the basement, and the rest of us in the den. Again, we paired off by couples. Different this time, though, the affection between the other Moms and Sons was more obvious.

You remember that movie about the British soldier who is captured by the IRA in Ireland, and the IRA guy promises the Brit that he'd look after his girlfriend? The Crying Game, I think it was. Remember how the girlfriend ended up being a transexual? Remember how, before you figured it out, she looked like any other pretty woman? But after the big reveal, and you knew, how things looked different? It was like, once the scales are off your eyes and you saw the truth, you wondered how you didn't see it before?

That's kind of how it was for me, sitting there with Mom and watching the others. Was Jim really fucking Sarah? And Bill and Victoria? Sammy and hot Bonnie? Were they really doing it? If I saw the guys sitting there with their girlfriends acting like they were, there wouldn't be any doubt about it. I'd know. Yep, they're fucking. But these weren't girlfriends. These were Moms.

Mom kept rubbing my thigh, like before. She did it tenderly, and I could think of nothing but my hard dick about three or four inches from her hand. Oh, how I wanted her hand on my dick.

Then Sam leaned over and kissed Bonnie. It wasn't a Mom/Son kiss. It was a kiss, brother. I could see their tongues working. That broke the ice, and Jim and Bill did the same thing. Bill even had his hands on Victoria's pretty little tits. If I had any doubts before, they disappeared.

Oh. My. God.

I thought it was kind of cruel, really. There was no way Mom would ever let me do that, and here these guys were - my buddies - rubbing it in my face.

Mom cleared her throat, and I turned to her. She put her hand behind my head, pulled me to her, and kissed me. It was the hottest kiss I ever had, or will ever have. Her tongue was tentative, like she was shy, but it was there. I didn't want it to ever end. I held her face with my hands, and then slid my left hand down her arm. She knew what I was going for, and put her hand on mine, keeping it on her arm. All I wanted was those tits in my hands, but she wasn't going to have it.

It turned into a damned makeout session. Sarah had turned the lights down, and all you could hear was smacking and slurping. Victoria had her hand on Bill's dick, that was clear, and then she looked at me and smiled. She gave a nod with her head toward Mom, and I needed no more encouragement. I kissed her again, and this time there was no tentativeness on her part.

My Mom. Lisa. She was a hot kisser.

When the dads came upstairs it was a replay of before. Moms and Sons quickly separated, and we started talking about the meal. With the dads grumbling about golf the next day, the night ended. I couldn't help but wonder what might go on in the other houses when they got home.

Mom had brought a big bowl of potato salad, and there was a lot left. When we got out to the car, she opened the front door and put the potato salad in the passenger seat, then got in the back seat with me. Driving home, the car was dark, of course, and we held hands. Mom put our hands on my thigh, and started rubbing her fingers on the inside of my thigh, under my board shorts. "Oh, please," I thought. "Just touch it." Her fingers were right at my dick, but she wouldn't touch it. She had to know it was there, but she wouldn't touch it. I tried to push her hand onto it, and she took her hand away and gave me a gentle swat on my chest.