How to Eat an Elephant Ch. 03

I must admit I was somewhat conflicted after Bill and I returned from our camping trip with Sarah and Jim. Oh, sure, I knew what Billy was trying to do with me. It started with him in high school, probably really getting serious when he was a senior. I often caught him looking at me in a way a Son shouldn't be looking at his Mother. I was flattered, of course. What woman doesn't enjoy being looked at in a frankly sexual way? But when it's your own son?

Like every other Mother, I immediately started researching Oedipal Complex and I have to say I was confused by the whole thing. Freud seemed to think that boys pass through that phase when they're very young, like five or seven, and then it goes away. Well, my Son was 18, and sometimes the lust in his eyes when he would look at me was so powerful it would take my breath away. Freud never mentioned that.

I found that Mother Son incest was a big interest on the web. If it was supposed to go away by the time a boy entered puberty, and certainly by the time he became an adult, then who were all these people who seemed consumed by it on the internet? I found some erotic story sites and read a couple of the stories. None of them sounded legitimate to me. I couldn't see any Mother succumbing to her Son's advances in such a blatant way as almost all the stories seemed to relate.

There did seem to be an ongoing debate over whether consensual adult Mother Son relationships was good, or bad, for the mental health of the son. Funny. None of the debates seemed to be concerned with the mental health of the Mother. It was all about whether it would stunt the mental growth of the Son and affect his ability to have satisfying relationships with other women. That settled it for me. If doing such a thing with your son would harm him in any way, then how could any woman do it?

The more I read, though, the more confused I got. Some writers seemed to argue that a Mother Son relationship, if between consenting adults, was nothing more than a love affair like any other. That made some sense to me. If a love affair is just that, love, then what stronger love is there than the love of a Mother for her Son?

None of that helped me with Bill. I could have internal debates on a philosophical level about the relative merits of a Mother sexually loving her Son, but I was dealing with the reality of a Son desiring me. As his obvious lust seemed to grow stronger instead of being a passing thing, his overt love for me seemed to wane. He became distant. He wouldn't talk to me and, in the few times he would engage, he was sullen and seemed resentful. By the time he went away to college, we were almost like strangers living together. He seemed a little better during his college years, and I assumed he was getting laid by hot little co-eds, and his lust for me had passed.

Finally he graduated and got a job, about three hours from us. He still seemed resentful, though, and visited only when his Dad and I shamed him into it.

What is a Mother to do? All I wanted was for him to love me. Is that asking too much? I gave him everything. I gave him life. I raised him from a boy to a man. Was it asking too much for him to love me?

So I did what every woman does when she wants to influence and control a man. I started flirting with him. If that's what would influence him, then why not? I wouldn't do anything but lightly flirt, of course. I would remain in control and never let it get out of hand, so what harm could a little flirting do?

When he'd come home, I made a point of letting him see me in my panties and tee shirt at least once each trip. He was funny. He'd try to act like he wasn't looking, but I could tell. I have to admit, it was pretty exciting for me, too. My nipples would be so hard they'd ache. Even though I'm older now and going through the change, God bless it, my panties would practically flood. My husband seemed to be ignorant of what was going on. He wouldn't even give a passing glance.

At first I thought Bill wasn't paying attention, either. I expected - no, hell, I hoped - I'd see an erection from him when I'd do that. Once I went into his bedroom for something when he was laying in bed in the morning, and I made a point of letting him get a good look at my butt. Then I turned around so he could see my nipples and pussy. I would have thought that would cause a tent in his covers, but I didn't see it.

His father, in his ignorance, was pretty cooperative. When Bill would come home on the weekend, I would shoo his father downstairs for his games so Bill and I could watch a movie upstairs. I would sit on one end of the couch while Bill laid down on the loveseat. I noticed, thankfully, that he would lay there with a huge erection, practically during the whole movie. It was cute. I made a point of not staring at it, but I was entranced and, I have to say again, pretty excited. Here I was, sitting with my son watching a movie, and he had a hard on for me. Pretty flattering, if you think about it.

There was no doubt what he wanted. Call me shameless, but there was no doubt I was using it to influence him. At least he was coming home more often now. He remained distant with me, though. It was as if he didn't know what to do, how to proceed. I wanted to tell him, "Look, idiot. I'm your Mother, but I'm also a woman. Treat me as you would treat any woman you wanted to get in bed, and see where it goes." Of course, I had no intention of letting it go that far, but he didn't have to know that.

That all changed one day, and I couldn't put my finger on a reason. He had been to visit his friend, Jim, and when he got home he came into my office and kissed me right on the lips. That was a change. He usually hugged me from about three feet away and if I got a kiss at all, it was just a dry peck on my cheek. I said something to him about it, and he told me he loved me.

Those are the words every Mother wants to hear from her son. I knew he loved me, in his stiff, cold way, because he had to love me. I'm his Mother. But to hear him say it was absolute music to my ears. If he had only known it, I was putty in his hands when he said that.

He seemed to change in other ways, too. He became much more touchy-feely with me. Once he hugged me tight to him, which he had not done before, and I'll swear I could feel his dick rubbing on my upper thigh. Talk about getting a tingle. I was shocked. I mean, that's not really something a Mother should feel, is it? I liked it, but damn.

Then his touches became, well, frankly sexual. He hugged me from behind once, in the kitchen, and the little bastard actually rubbed his dick on my butt. What, did he think I wouldn't be able to feel it? Did he want me to feel it?

Our movie nights started to get a little steamy, and I allowed it. I knew there would be a point where I would have to put a stop to it, but I had not decided yet where that point was going to be. He had tried to give me a little tongue when he kissed me, and I put the stop to that. It's not that I wouldn't love to kiss him like that, but there's the whole "societal norms," and "proper behavior" things going on. What Mother lets her son slip her the tongue when they kiss? Of course I had to shut him down.

I started to let him have a little breast play while we were watching movies. I couldn't help it. He was like a ninth-grader. His hand kept brushing my breast and it was like a high voltage line to my core. I'm older, so my libido is diminishing, right? But not when Bill would touch me. My libido was on overdrive. I wouldn't let him get them out, although I wanted to, because the risk was too great. Hands on the outside? You can pull them back right away, and nobody will see. But blouse open, bra off, and tits out? That's hard to hide if hubby comes tripping in.

Then Sarah called me to ask if we wanted to have a family outing at the trailhead. I thought it was a great idea. I had always been envious of Sarah's relationship with her son, Jim. He was always kind and gentle with her, and clearly loved her. Why couldn't Bill be like that? They were buddies, so why didn't some of Jim rub off on Bill? I thought if we went hiking with them, Bill would see how considerate Jim was with Sarah, and maybe learn a lesson.

Learn a lesson, we did!

I knew my husband wouldn't go. That he would come up with an excuse at the last minute was entirely predictable. Sarah's husband didn't go, either, and that surprised me a little bit. I'm not sure I would have agreed to it if I had known it was just us and the boys. We got to the trailhead, set up our tents, and sat by the campfire drinking wine. I fully expected Sarah and I would share a tent, and you can imagine my shock when Sarah took Jim's hand and led him to their tent. It really put me in an awkward position, because I knew I would have to fend off Bill's advances if we shared a tent.

I don't know how to say this. I've known Sarah for years. Our kids are friends, and our families are tight. Sarah and I talk about everything, and we have for years. I think I'm closer to her than I am to my own sister. I know Sarah. I know when she was thinking about having an affair a couple of years ago, and she knows that I made out in the kitchen with my husband's partner at a Christmas party last year.

So when I heard what were obviously sex sounds coming from Sarah's tent, I was blown away. I don't know if I've ever been hotter in my life. Knowing that Sarah was fucking her own son...well, no wonder they seemed so close. What pissed me off, though, was that she took my options away. I don't know if she did it intentionally, but she sure put me in a corner. How could I push Bill away when he could hear his best friend fucking his own Mother?

Maybe I would have come to the same decision on my own. But she took that decision away from me.

And I had sex with my own Son.

Oh, it was great. Don't think I didn't enjoy it. But it was also wrong. It was a decision made in haste that would last the rest of my life. "You break it. You bought it." That's kind of the idea, isn't it? Once I went there with Bill, our relationship changed forever. My marriage changed forever. My life changed forever. I think they were all positive changes, but shouldn't I have been able to decide for myself?

But it wasn't Sarah's fault, I had to admit to myself. It was my fault. I went on that hike secretly hoping I would get a chance to fuck Bill, and I did. When Billy went down on me, I thought I would explode. I've always liked having my pussy eaten, but when I looked down at my boy's face buried in my pussy, that was the ultimate. Everything with him was degrees better than I've ever had. Just kissing him sent tingles throughout my body.

I've always enjoyed giving blowjobs. You want to talk about control? When you have your man's dick in your mouth, you are in total control. When it's your son's dick? Oh, my God. I can't describe it. I wanted to give him the best blowjob he would ever have.

Not a word about the previous night was spoken by Sarah or me the next day. We just went on with our lives.

Then that family came in to share our campsite, and things got a little out of hand. I won't sugar coat it. Bonnie, the Mom, and her son were clearly at a crucial point in their relationship. It was where Bill and I had been a month before. I'll admit it. What Sarah had done to me, for me, by giving me a push was exactly what Sarah and I did for Bonnie. We gave her a push. From the noise she made, it didn't take much to get her to go for it.

A couple of days after we got back home, and Bill had returned to his apartment and his job, Sarah called. "Why don't I come over for coffee? We've got some catching up to do, I think."

Yeah, we had some catching up to do. Like, "How long have you been fucking your son?" "Why didn't you tell me?" Things like that. Yeah, I'd say we had some catching up to do.

Sarah arrived about an hour later and we sat in the den with cups of coffee. We looked at each other, and both of us burst out laughing.

"Oh, my God, Sarah! You and Jim? How long? How did it start?"

"Are you kidding me? You and Bill? You guys sounded like a porn movie over there. I've never heard such thrashing in my life."

It was as though a dam had burst. I told Sarah about Bill and how he had seemed so sullen and distant, and then like a switch had been turned on, he became loving and affectionate. I told her that by the time I realized what was going on, I was hooked.

"It was the same with me, Vic. Jim was always trying to cop a feel of my ass. One day he started being really affectionate...I mean, honestly affectionate...and I just couldn't help reacting to him. I guess it started in earnest when we went to the farmers' market one day."

"The farmers' market? How in the hell do you end up sleeping with your son after visiting the farmers' market?"

Sarah shook her head. "I know. It doesn't make sense, but it was the most beautifully romantic thing. His dad didn't want to go, so Jim went with me to get some fresh veggies. While we were there, he bought me a bouquet of flowers. He gave them to me, and kissed me on the cheek. Vic, I was done at that moment. On the way home, I told him to drive by the lake so we could check the wildflowers. We parked at that old railroad siding. He turned toward me, I guess to ask me something, and I practically attacked the poor kid. I was kissing him like I haven't kissed anyone since college."

"Yeah, and then?"

"I wasn't going to let it go too far. I swear. I had no intention of letting him get in charge. But before I knew it, he had his hand on my tit and then I was putting it in his mouth, and I've never had a feeling like I had when he was sucking on me."

"Oh, my God! Sarah, I had the same feeling. When Billy took my nipple in his mouth, it was like a high voltage shock. God, it was intense."

"So, that was it, Vic. I tried to fight it, but we were fucking within a week after that. I'm not sorry. Not a bit. That was two years ago, and it seems like we're closer every day. We're to the stage now that we sometimes make love when we're together, but not always. But we always enjoy being with each other. It's like I have two husbands, both of whom love me."

"Why did you never tell me, Sarah? You knew how I was struggling with Bill."

"Oh, sure. I can see me saying, 'You know, Vic, if you'll just give Bill a blowjob, he'll be a much better son." She laughed.

"Yeah. I get you. I'm terrified of someone finding out about Bill and me. I'm so glad I have you to talk to. Tell me. Did you know that Bill and I would make love if we heard you two going at it?"

"I suspected. I knew what Bill wanted. I suspected what you wanted. I took a risk letting you hear us, I hope you know that. It could have gone very wrong, you know."

"Sarah, I would never judge you. Hearing you and Jim go at it was the hottest thing I've ever experienced. I don't think I've cum so many times in one night since I was in college."

"That's what I hoped. You know, if every Mother knew what you and I know now, the world would be a different place."

We laughed together. We shared a secret that many Mothers have, but few share. I felt closer to Sarah than I ever had.

"Yeah. We should market it. How to control your Son, in five easy steps."

"I know. Could you believe Bonnie? All she had to do was see us, and she was all over that boy. I thought she was going to pull his dick out and blow him the first time he put his hand on her leg."

"That one worked just fine, didn't it? I wonder what they're up to now?"

"We'll find out soon enough. Bonnie called me yesterday and wants us to have lunch together. You want to go?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

A couple of days later we met Bonnie at the local Panera. She walked in, saw us at a table and walked over, a sheepish look on her face.

"Uuuuh. Well, thanks for meeting me," she said, and blushed.

Sarah and I laughed. I said, "I'd say we're a pretty select group, aren't we?"

"I hope you don't think I'm horrible," Bonnie said. "I don't know where that came from."

Sarah reached over the table and touched her hand. "Honey, it came from the same place it came from with us. We want our Sons to love us. We finally figured out how to make that happen. It's simple."

"Not so simple," Bonnie replied.

"Yes. Simple. Look, Bonnie. You love your Son, and you found a way to show him how deeply you love him. How can that be wrong? Don't beat yourself up. I'll bet you and Sammy have a much deeper relationship now, right? What's wrong with that? As long as no one knows, who can get hurt?"

Bonnie started crying, softly. "I hate myself. What have I done? Is he going to be screwed up forever because of this?"

"He'll only be screwed up if you push him away and act like it was some horrible mistake. I speak from experience, Bonnie. I think you had the most wonderfully intense experience you've ever had. I think Sammy had the most wonderful experience he's ever had. You shared something together that not everyone has. Rejoice in that. Make sure Sammy knows how much it meant to you. Now, admit it, Bonnie. Aren't you two much closer than you ever hoped?"

"Oh, yeah. He's what I always wanted him to be. Even his father remarked at how different he is. It's great. He came home last weekend, and that never happens."

Sarah laughed. "Well I know why he came home. Did he get what he wanted?"

Bonnie blushed again. "We might have gone out to get takeout pizza."

"In a pizzeria parking lot, Bonnie? You're shameless!"

We all laughed. We were sisters, in that moment. We shared a secret that no one else could know.

We spent the afternoon there, sharing our experiences. There were differences, but each of us had a common theme to what had happened with our Sons. They were distant. They were unloving. Then something changed, and they became what we always wanted. I said what Sarah had said to me earlier, "It's like I have two loving husbands now."

"I know, I know!" Bonnie said. "That's exactly it. I've never felt so loved."

We nodded. That was exactly it. We felt loved.

We looked around the restaurant, and noticed a couple in the corner - obviously a Mother and Son. They were holding hands on the table, and talking like old friends. Bonnie smiled. "Is it that obvious? I mean, I can bet what those two are up to. Do you think other people will be able to see it with Sammy and me?"

"Only if they're in it themselves, Bonnie. But I guarantee you every Mother wishes she had what you and Sam have."

We looked at each other. Sarah cleared her throat. "It's too bad we can't share this. Between Victoria and I, we must know a dozen Mothers who wish they could have better relationships with their sons. It would be risky, but do you think we could guide other Mothers in how to do it?"

And the Mothers' Club was born.