Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 056

Hi all! Here it is, the next chapter of Home for Horny Monsters!

New reader? There's over half a million words of this bad boy on the internet, I have somehow War and Peace'd myself some monster smut! You could start here, but you would be missing out on some really good stuff. You could also just jump in. Who knows, you might enjoy this chapter enough to go back and take a look at the beginning.

Returning readers, welcome back! It's been a long month for me, and I hope this chapter finds you well. I've been looking forward to sharing this scene with you for so many months now, I really wish I could write faster.

Anyway, I won't keep you. Don't forget to check my bio for release dates, and definitely don't forget to rate, comment or review. I do eventually read all of them, and I absolutely love your enthusiasm. I struggle with story insecurity like every writer, and it really helps keep me focused on what matters.

See you on the other side!

Moonrise

Kisa sat on the roof of the house, her eyes locked on the wrought iron gate at the back of the property line. It had been over a week since Mike had gone through it and returned with the devil dog in tow. Despite his reassurance that Cerberus was no longer a danger to them, all she could picture in her mind was being chased through the misty woods by a fire breathing beast.

Memories of her trip into the Underworld from so long ago had rushed in on her like ice water. She had fled from the sight of the creature to hide somewhere deep in the house. It wasn't until Tink tracked her down later that she was able to calm down and return to the rest of the house. She hardly ever went into the backyard anymore, afraid that Cerberus might come through the gates and pounce on her.

Her deep-seated fear of the devil dog was instinctual, and it was yet another cat-related problem which bothered her. Death had been very impressed by Mike's journey into the Underworld, but very disappointed when he learned that nobody had thought to map the place while they were there.

"Aha, I have it!" Death sat next to her on the roof, his robes pulled up to reveal bony legs as he frantically scribbled in his notebook. He flipped it over to reveal that he had, in fact, written the word CAT in blue crayon. He had also drawn a highly unflattering picture of her beneath it.

She scowled and took the picture from him. "You spelled it right, but did you have to draw giant tits on me with nipples? They're bigger than my head."

"Hmm?" He took the drawing back and examined. "Ah, I see. In my haste to identify your gender as a woman, I neglected to account for scale. I should draw your breasts much smaller next time, or maybe not at all."

"Don't draw my tits at all," she yelled, then snatched the drawing out of his bony hands. Death regarded her patiently for over a minute before she groaned and handed him the paper back. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just...grumpy is all."

"I'll bet," said a voice from behind her, and she jumped to her feet and spun around to see Mike standing there. He wore a button-down shirt with a pair of slacks. Without any difficulty, he walked down the sloped roof toward them. "May I?"

"Yes, Mike Radley." Death handed over the paper and waited while Mike scrutinized it.

"You did a very good job," Mike told him. "Did the thicker crayons help?"

"They did indeed, Mike Radley. However..." Death held up his fingers to reveal blue smudges of wax all across them. "There seems to be a tradeoff for their convenience."

"I would assume fine motor control can be learned, but you don't have any muscles, so I'm not sure where that leaves us. Still, this shows a lot of improvement, and I think this one should go on the fridge." He handed it back.

"You honor me with your words, Mike Radley." Death took the drawing and clutched it tightly against his chest. "I shall put it up at once so that all may be proud of my achievements."

"Sounds goo—no, not that way!" Mike stuck out his hand as Death hopped off the side of the roof and plummeted to the ground. "Tink, dodge!"

There was a loud thud, followed by the sound of Tink shrieking in anger. Death had plummeted into the work table she had set up beneath them and caught the edge of it, launching her tools across the yard, some of which landed in Naia's fountain.

Shrieking, Tink held up her hammer like she was going to throw it. Death shouted his apologies, which nobody else could hear, before letting himself into the house. Tink threw her hammer in the bushes, causing a pair of rats to burst free and run for safety in the garage.

"Geez," Kisa muttered, looking over the edge. "He's like a child. You know that, right?"

"We were all children, once. It's only a matter of time before something comes along to burn away that innocence." He rubbed his side with one hand, right by his hip. "I wanted you to know that I've noticed how much time you spend with him. Thank you."

"Please. He follows me around is all." She walked along the edge of the roof, her back to Mike. He had barely said anything to her since his return from the Underworld. The few times she had seen him for longer than a few seconds, he had been busy either researching something or spending time with one of the others.

Time fucking them, that was. It had been a shock the first few times she had walked in on Mike with one of the other girls, but now she had seen him have sex with almost everybody in the house. She had been dumb enough to ask Death about it, which had turned into an hours-long explanation regarding his take on human relationships. However, she had learned from Abella that Mike and Naia shared some sort of spiritual bond that made the others so attracted to him.

Whatever magic he possessed didn't seem to have any effect on her, thank god. She felt embarrassed by how eager the others were to please him, treating him like a celebrity rock god, or something. They seemed to fall over each other trying to make him happy, and if he wasn't so damned nice to everybody, she probably would have left out of disgust.

Still, when he had appeared on the roof, she couldn't help but notice that his hair was perfectly styled, and the wind on the roof ruffled his shirt in a manner that highlighted the muscles in his chest. Even mother nature was falling over herself to make him look good, and she snorted at the idea.

"It really is appreciated," he said. "I'll admit, I get stuff done much faster without having to explain myself to him, so you've been a big help to me. But that's not why I'm up here."

"Oh?" She smirked and turned around, but was surprised to see that he had removed his shoes to walk along the edge right behind her. "Aren't you afraid you'll fall?"

"Used to be. Heights don't bother me anymore."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "How did you get up here, anyway?"

"Climbed up," he answered. "Abella told me you were here and offered me a lift, but she has a habit of demanding certain favors from me afterward."

Kisa snorted again, then looked away. Indeed.

"Anyway, the real reason I came up here was because of Zel's ceremony tomorrow. She's becoming the official chieftain of the whole herd, and she invited some of us to come and take part."

She had no interest in the centaurs other than to watch them out in the front yard as they worked. If nothing else, they had been entertaining to observe. "Why do you think they want me there?" she asked, then scampered up the roof to hop onto one of the turrets.

"They didn't request you specifically." Mike stood just below the turret now. "I was just wondering if you wanted to go with me. There's supposed to be dancing and music, and I thought you might enjoy getting out of the house for a bit."

She stopped on the edge of the turret, then turned around. "What kind of music?"

"I have no idea," he told her, then turned to look over the yard. "It's really pretty up here."

She scowled, ready to tell him that the roof was hers. Abella usually kept to herself, which meant that other than Death, it was one of the only places she could be alone. However, she bit her tongue.

"Anyway, if you wanted to come, I wanted you to have a heads up so you can pick out a dress or something. Tink is making a dress for herself and offered to make you one, too."

"Tink...is going?" The idea of Tink going too brought up a weird feeling in her chest. Though some of her memories had returned, they were sporadic and rarely made sense. Her love-hate relationship with the goblin was something she struggled to understand, and this was one of those times. It shouldn't matter to her that Tink was going, but for some reason, it did.

"She is, but mainly because I told her she needs a break. She's had to rewire the entire house and upgrade the circuit box, which hasn't been done since it was first installed sometime last century. She's trying to put more safeguards in as a result of Quetzalli's mishaps so that she doesn't have to keep working on it. Apparently the wires have melted in some places, and if the house wasn't magic, she's fairly certain a fire would have been started. I think we could all use some downtime. Oh, right. Speaking of wires..."

He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to her. She took it from him and saw that it was an electronic device with a touch screen and a pair of earplugs.

"It's the latest iPod," he explained. "It's kind of like a phone, but it's for playing music. I went ahead and loaded a bunch of stuff on there and started a Spotify account for you, which is a way to listen to new stuff. The record player is fun and all, but you can use the wireless earbuds to listen to your music wherever."

He gave her a brief rundown of how everything worked, and she tried her best to follow. She had been asleep for so long that the latest technology was like magic to her, but the touch interface seemed simple, and she was able to get the earbuds to fit in her ears with a little bit of help. She was pleased to hear the stream of tunes when she hit play, but then paused the music.

"What's the catch?" she asked him, suddenly suspicious.

"There isn't one. I know you like to dance is all, and the wireless buds will make it easier for you to dance wherever you want. Oh, but be careful not to lose them. I had trouble getting those ones. Apparently, there's a bit of a shortage."

She looked at the iPod and then back at him. "No, really. There has to be a catch. You want something, don't you? Give me a gift, make a small request, make me feel like I owe you something."

He shook his head. "Nope. As Caretaker, I'm supposed to make sure everyone is happy and healthy, or at least that's my take on it. I don't even know you that well, but I have noticed that you love music and like to be on your own. This way, you can do both. Anyway, I need to get downstairs. I promised Jenny a game of checkers." He walked away from her and toward a corner of the roof where he was able to drop down a level before climbing onto a drain pipe and going the rest of the way down.

Kisa snorted, then pulled one of the buds out of her ear to look at it. It looked like something from space, but the sound quality seemed pretty nice.

"There's always a catch," she muttered.

"You'd think so," said a feminine voice from behind her. Kisa startled and dropped the earbud, only for a black scorpion's tail to whip around her and snag it with a pair of pincers on the end.

"Is everybody trying to scare me off this fucking roof?" She turned around to see Lily the succubus there. "Seriously, none of you make any fucking noise moving around up here! And why are you even up here anyway?"

Lily contemplated Kisa and then took the earbud off of her tail. "Actually, I've been up here quite a bit. You don't even know I'm here most days, because I make myself small and hide on the other side of that." She pointed to the top of the turret. "I don't like it in the house because it's just so full of people all the damned time and I just want to kick back and look at the clouds."

"Maybe you should go back to your corner of the roof, then, and leave me alone."

"Now, now, Catnip, you keep talking to me like that and I'll show you just how many lives you have left." She handed over the earbud. "I overheard what you said about him and decided to do my good deed for the month."

"And what? Tell me he's actually a good guy or something?"

Lily sighed. "Ugh, never mind. If you want to waste the next few months of your life wallowing, be my fucking guest. I'll do my good deed somewhere else." She started to walk away and then spun around. "And you know what? Demons can't lie. So whatever I had to tell you was going to be fucking golden."

Her wings popped open and she launched herself into the sky, spiraling upward until she was little more than a speck.

Kisa frowned, then looked at the earbud in her hand. The succubus was one of the few people here she didn't already have a missing history with, and it occurred to her that her own response had been less than kind.

Had she always been this way? So angry and eager to push others away?

"Kisa." When the old man spoke, she immediately shook her head and put in the earbud, eager to drown out whatever memory was surfacing. With the touch of her finger, she started a hip hop playlist that made her tail flick back and forth to the beat. Looking down at the iPod, she contemplated Mike and his words as a song she had never heard before saturated her thoughts.

He seemed too good to be true, but was he? If not for the sex stuff, she would probably be less distrustful, but she hated the idea of just ending up as another notch on his bedpost.

She felt a stirring in her stomach, thinking about how he had looked standing on the edge of the roof. Would it really be that bad if she did?

A shadow passed overhead, and she looked up in time to see Abella land on one of the reinforced beams of the roof, the metal groaning under her weight.

"Fuck it," she muttered, then moved toward the same spot where Mike had descended. Her rooftop refuge was no longer quiet, and she decided that her room would be a better place to stay.

Once on the ground, she walked past Tink, who was running the wire along the side of the house. She stopped for a moment to watch, then continued inside to find somewhere quiet.

The house itself was crowded with rats who were repairing holes in the plaster. It looked like the house would be back to normal again in a few days at the current rate, and she found herself distracted more than once by the swishing tail of one of the rats. She had discovered not too long ago that she not only had a prey drive, but the sight of a dangling string awakened weird feelings in her that she avoided indulging in.

The last thing she wanted was shit from Tink about playing with a string.

Once in her room, she saw that a note had been put on her brand new bed. Her room actually had furniture now, which was a welcome change from when she had first arrived. She picked up the paper and turned it over.

Green dress in armoire, Tink adjust tomorrow, it said in curly letters.

Crumpling up the note, Kisa moved over to the small armoire that they had put in her room and then opened it. Hanging from the rod was an emerald green dress that felt like silk. Tempted to shred it, she pulled it down and held it against her body and then walked over to look at herself in the mirror.

It had been cut to account for her tail, and the skirt was flared at the bottom. Kisa twisted her hips in time to the music from her earbuds and noticed that the fabric shimmered with her movements. The sides of the dress had high seams, which would allow for maximum mobility.

It not only looked like it would fit her, but it looked like it had been designed for dancing. As the beat in her ears continued, she just had to know how it would look while it was on.

"God damn, tiny-titted booger," she muttered, then slid out of her clothes to try the dress on.

Mike picked up the sports coat on his bed and put it on. He had ordered it online and Tink had made some alterations to it, and it now fit perfectly. He stopped in the bathroom to admire how it looked in the mirror, only to see Naia staring at him with a hungry look in her eyes.

"Looks good from back here," she told him. "Wish I could go with you."

"Me. too," he told her, then turned around to give her a peck on the lips. "Don't think we could fit the centaur tribe around your fountain."

She pouted, then gave him a wink. "You owe me a hot soak in the near future."

"Yeah, I do." He touched her cheek and she turned into water and vanished down the drain. On his way out of the bathroom, he stopped when he saw Lily sitting on the edge of the bed. She was in an elegant black gown with red trim and had on black lace gloves. Around her neck was the pendant he had given her, an antique stone in a silver setting.

"You look delicious," she said, then stood to join him. "And I am so ready for a night on the town."

"Yeah, it's kind of weird. With everything going on with faerie queen plans, Zel's ceremony kind of snuck up on me." He held still while she adjusted his collar. "Will be fun to blow off some steam before going back to the Underworld."

Lily scowled. "Still planning to swim upstream in the Underworld, are you?" She was referring to a plan that Beth had concocted. During Samhain, the veil between worlds would become thin, allowing the fae and other spirits to cross over. Mike's plan was to see where they were coming from and track their origin until he made it back to the queen's court, a plan made much easier now by the fact that he could now ride Cerberus through the Underworld.

"I don't have a better idea. According to Sulyvahn, the flow of time between the two places synchronizes, so we don't have to worry about me getting stuck there for thirty years by accident." He picked up a pair of ties from the bed. "What do you think?" he asked, holding each one up to his neck.

Lily took the ties from him and threw them on the floor. "You look stupid in a tie," she declared, then undid the top button of his shirt to open his collar up. "When someone tells you to dress nice, it doesn't mean you have to look like an asshole."

"I..." He didn't know how to respond, so took her advice and threw the ties back on the bed. "You're here super early. I'm not headed to see the Moon Tribe for a few hours yet."

"Oh, I know. I wanted to come with you when you head to the other house. Maybe meet my new little sister, see if she likes to play dress up."

Mike laughed, then picked up the backpack sitting by his bedroom door. It was heavy, packed to the brim with paperback books. He had been tempted to buy Amymone an e-reader but had no way for her to keep it charged. "I would love the company. Come on, let's go."

He led her downstairs and then out back to the gate. Naia waved to them as they passed, and he unlocked the padlock before swinging the gate open. The mists of the Underworld curled around his limbs like snakes, but the effect no longer bothered him. Once inside the Underworld, he cupped his hands to his mouth.

"Cerberus!" His voice vanished into the woods, and he turned to look at Lily. "I thought it was bad news for you to be in here? Something about demons coming to check on you?"

She shook her head. "I won't be in here long, and even if they show, they will see Cerberus and leave. Demons don't fuck with hellhounds, it's a bit of an unspoken rule."

"There's my fun fact for the day." He turned his attention to the mist just as a large shadow formed and then leapt toward him. Cerberus landed with a loud thump, then sniffed his face before transforming into a woman. Their leather outfit looked slightly more refined now, and each head had black bows in their hair.