Hoff and Hols, a Romance Ch. 17

I have seldom slept as soundly as I did that night of our reunion.

As the early morning light streamed through the unclosed curtains, I awoke, blearily. For a moment I wondered where I was, and then I felt her next to me. I thanked God for bringing her back to me. I could see that Emma was out for the count. Me, well once I was up, I was up.

I got out of bed - and smiled at our clothes scattered about the floor; I had no idea how my knickers had ended up on one of the bedposts; but it made me giggle. Putting my robe on and running my fingers through my hair, I went downstairs to make a coffee.

The house was silent. I turned on Radio 3, to hear the strains of Dowland's "Time Stands Still". As the last verse was reached, my eyes filled with tears:

"My setled vowes and spotlesse faith

No fortune can remove

Courage shall shew my inward faith

And faith shall trie my love.

Faith had indeed tried our love, and courage had proved our inward faith. Nothing would come between us again. That was my vow that morning; I have kept it.

Revived by coffee and a croissant, I took Emma a cup of tea. I watched her, fast asleep, her hair strewn across the pillow; my heart swelled. Putting the cup on the bedside table, I sat there, letting my hand play with her hair. How she had suffered, I could not, then, know. But I could see lines in her face which had not been there before; and there were also streaks of grey in her brown hair. My heart ached. Smiling sadly, I went back down.

AK was in the kitchen. Issy in her highchair muttering happily. AK looked at me meaningfully:

"How'd it go, Squirt?"

"It went perfectly."

"I can see, not just from the look on your face, but from the way you are, that you're a happy girl again."

AK was right. I felt differently somehow; complete.

I borrowed one of AK's robes for Emma - mine would hardly have covered her at all. She also loaned me a clean pair of knickers for her.

"We can't have her doing a walk of shame back to the college, can we? But do you know what has changed?"

"No, we can't, and to be honest AK, I have no idea."

When Emma joined us for breakfast, we learned a little more. She had, as she had told me last night, abided by the terms of the "advice" she had been given. Her time at the retreat had been given to her as study leave by the college to keep everything in good order in terms of her academic career. By mutual agreement that had come to an end after Easter, and Emma had taken a holiday in Cornwall where she had stayed with a community of lay sisters. It was, she explained, while there that she had come to realise that she could not carry on the way she had been. Then, bless her, Footy had got in touch with her to tell her about the Commission.

"I got in touch with the Bishop and was told that as far as they were concerned, as long as I was doing my job here, my private life would be just that - as long as I was careful."

AK laughed.

"I see, so 'don't ask, don't tell' is back in force - until the next time the press or Bartlett or someone 'outs' you?"

Emma looked troubled.

"It's different now," I intervened, "what did the Bishop say about the Commission?"

"That was the interesting part Pixie, and it was what prompted me to rethink. I was told that in view of the forthcoming Commission, the Church wanted a moratorium on prosecuting cases like ours."

I smiled.

"See, AK, that's why I wanted to be on this. We can make a difference."

"I admire your optimism, Pixie," Lady F said. "The Church takes an age to change."

I smiled ruefully.

"True, but it won't move at all unless some of us push it! And after all, my step-father in Lord Chancellor."

I filled Emma in on the news.

"So, you and your mother are on speakers again, Pixie?"

To her delight, I confirmed it.

There was a sense of, if not foreboding at North Parade, then of expectation: would Emma be 'outed;' how would the Commission work; and what would my future be?

The last was the first to be decided.

We were told that the results of our final degree classifications would be posted outside Schools on Tuesday afternoon. Try as I might to get something out of Footy, she went all Trappist on me, simply telling me to meet her in her rooms at college at five that same afternoon.

I am not a great one for lunch at the best of times, and that day I could not eat a bite. AK and Lady F were sympathetic, and Issy, delightfully told me: "Auntie Pix got eats!" I so loved being "Auntie Pix." But not even she could persuade me to eat.

As Issy was with her playgroup that afternoon, AK offered to come with me - I eagerly accepted.

"Well, Squirt, this is it! Come on, you are a brain box as well as the best cunt muncher I know. It will be fine!"

"Why, thank you Ma'am!" I curtsied ironically.

"Any time! I guess you are back to being exclusive with Emma?"

"We have not discussed it, AK, but maybe we shouldn't close the door too quickly?"

"Well, Squirt, I am up for it."

"You are always up for it," I teased.

"With you, for sure, and with Keith, fuck yes!"

She took my mind off things for a moment as we approached Schools. We had been told that the results would be posted at 4:00 pm. We got there just as the Proctor was posting them. Crowd milled round. Being petite, I found it difficult to get close, but AK, being pushy, just bustled us through.

I looked.

"First class starred: Hoff, Cynthia"

I was the only one in that category.

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody door off, Squirt!"

AK picked me up and hugged me, kissing me hard.

I felt light as air. I had done it! I felt dazed. I was glad AK was there to hold me up. I saw Lisa, who had, as she expected, for her 2:1, and I congratulated her.

"Oh Pix, you did it! You clever little thing!"

AK swept us off to the King's Arms for a congratulatory bottle of champagne. The pub was full of students toasting each other. I immediately phoned Emma and Lady F to tell them the news - and they were delighted. Lady F said there would be a small party that evening. Feeling a little giggly after a glass of champagne, I told AK and Lisa I had to see Footy. They smiled:

"We know - we will see you at the party at North Parade."

"What? You mean?"

"I mean," AK said, "that we knew you would do it, so we planned this weeks ago."

As I walked down the back lane to Footy's college, and then passed through the back gate towards her rooms, I was still in a bit of a daze. I went up, knocked on her door, and there she was with a bottle of bubbly.

"Well done that woman!"

She gave me a huge hug.

"You did yourself, and me, proud, Pixie. You got straight alphas on more papers than anyone ever has. It was a stunning performance my darling. You get the college studentship - full fees and grant for four years, with accommodation if you want, and money in lieu if not; I take it you will have the money?"

"As though I would ever leave North Parade?"

We sat and discussed things.

Footy was, as ever, blunt and to the point.

"You have to go the academic route, Pixie. Yes, you are a marked woman in some quarters even here, but in your Church you are always going to provoke strong emotions. We both know that you can do your doctorate in three years. I will make sure you get some teaching so your cv looks good, and then, well we shall see. There is a college junior research fellowship that has your name written all over it. What do you think?"

"I think yes please!"

We drank on it.

Walking back through crowds of rather drunken students, I reflected on the journey. So much had happened in these three years. My undergraduate career had been unique, and truth to tell, it had not been anything like I had expected. But the future was now set.

I stopped off at what was now about to become my old college, to see Emma.

George, the porter, spotted me:

"Miss Pixie, I am told congratulations are in order?"

"Thank you, George, is Emma in?"

"She is, Miss, and can I say well done from us all?"

"You can, George."

"Well done my love," was Emma's greeting before I fell into her arms. "I have been talking with the Dean, and you are going to be awarded the college prize for the best First of the year. A nice solid £5000, Pixie, that might buy you a book or two!"

Given my book-buying habits, that was a big plus!

We walked back to North Parade together.

As I went into the kitchen, Issy was there - she ran to me.

"Auntie Pix is good girl!"

I think, of all the accolades that day, hers was the one which delighted me most.

I phoned my mother and Gran, who invited me, and Emma, over to their country house for the last weekend in July.

The "party" was actually dinner for a small collection of our closest friends - Footy, her husband, Chloe and Colin, Emma, and Lady F. It felt like and ending, and a beginning.

Mellow at the end of the evening, Emma and I found ourselves alone with AK after she had given Issy her feed. Relaxed over a glass of wine, Emma looked at us both:

"I have a feeling we should talk."

"About what?" AK replied.

Having a sense of what it might be about, I kept quiet.

"Put it this way, if I was not here, what would you two be about to do?"

AK giggled, a little drunk.

"Fuck the living daylights out of your girlfriend, Emma." Turning to me she added, "sorry Squirt, but in vino veritas and all that!"

Emma smiled softly.

"So I had imagined."

"Would that be off the cards Emma?"

"After my being away for long, it seems a bit unfair to suddenly put an end to your fun. Pixie tells me that your Keith has no objection."

"She's right. But Emma, there is no way I'd want to come between you and Pixie," then she giggled, "well there is, literally, but let's not go there. I don't want to offend you. I will go back to just being her best friend."

"That seems unfair." Emma's voice had a note of sadness in it.

"Where are you going with this, Emma?"

"Damned if I know," she said, with that same note in her voice, "I just, well, feel bad about it."

"Hey, you two," I said, raising my hand, "I am here you know! Could I get a word in?"

They both laughed.

"Well, Squirt, what do you want?"

"Typical," I said, teasing AK, "is 'want' the right approach?"

"Ok Miss Brain Box," she giggled, "give us your take."

"Can't it be about love?"

"What do you mean?" They chorused together.

"Bear with me. I love you both. When you and I, Emma, started to have sex, it was the physical expression of a love that was already there. The sex was not separate, it came from love, and it enhanced that love. I don't have sex with you, AK, that, too, comes from my love for you. I loved you long before we could have sex, and when Emma and I were exclusive, I still loved you; we just lost that dimension."

`"So, Pixie, where are you going with this?" Emma looked at me sweetly, a puzzled look on her face.

"I am wondering whether female love needs a sex life that excludes all but one woman?"

"I told you, Emma, she is a lil perv!"

Emma laughed.

"Maybe, maybe, but hear me out! Monogamy came out of complementary male and female desires. Men wanted to be sure their heir was theirs, not another man's, and women wanted a provider and protector. It is a great arrangement and still works - for men and women. Do women and women need it?"

"Well, wouldn't you feel jealous, Pixie, if I started making love with Emma?"

"No."

AK looked at Emma.

"Would you feel jealous if I was with Squirt?"

"I don't know. Pixie, can you explain?"

"Yes. I love you, Emma. I love AK. I can never be exclusive with her, I can with you, but only, it seems, at the price of hurting her and damaging our love by restricting it. I would do that, for you, but would we pay a price too?"

Emma looked thoughtful.

"Academic, I guess, Pixie, after all, I don't think AK actually fancies my 'mummy bod'," she giggled.

"As a new mummy, I resemble that remark," she joked. "Kiss me, Emma, please."

Emma looked at me. I nodded.

I watched as Emma moved to the sofa where AK was sitting and, bending forward, kissed her upturned lips. A tingle shot through me. Emma looked at me again. I nodded once more.

AK looked at me, then her, and pulled Emma onto the sofa and began to kiss her, her hands beginning to unbutton Emma's blouse. As Emma lay back, her skirt rode up, exposing her black knickers; her opened legs showed they were damp, riding up into her wetness. AK's hand soon blocked my view. As she pressed, Emma sighed.

I watched, fascinated, as Emma shed her blouse and helped AK off with her dress. Seeing them both in semi undress was having an effect on me.

"Bedroom, Emma, now! Squirt, bring our clothes and come on!"

As in a trance, I did as AK told me, gathering up their discarded clothes. As it happened, they were both wearing black knickers, and the sight of their arses as they headed to our bedroom, had me wanting to rub myself.

"Sit and watch, Squirt," AK said, as she had when I watched her and Chloe. Emma looked at me - I smiled and nodded.

"Let me see those mummy tits Emma!"

She unhooked Emma's bra and began playing with her tits. I could see Emma's nipples hard and red. I was torn between wanting them myself, and

wanting to see AK's lips on them. By sitting and doing nothing, I got the second of my wishes.

"Love your tits, Emma, Squirt's a lucky girl."

The way Emma moaned as AK licked and sucked at her nipples told its own story. AK was a more proactive lover than I usually was, and Emma responded by letting her take the initiative. Tugging Emma's knickers down, AK knelt. I intervene.

"Let me!"

Looking at Emma, and then AK, I let my fingers slide along Emma's wetness and then, sure that they were gooey with her, I fed them to AK, who sucked them in slowly and purposefully. While she was doing that, I pulled AK's knickers off and applied my fingers to her wetness. She moaned, and I took my fingers and fed Emma.

"There, your first taste of each other was via me, your shared love!"

"Fuck, Squirt, you are the hottest lil perv ever!"

I hadn't finished. Putting my hand inside my own knickers, I plunged a finger in my own wetness, first feeding AK, and then, repeating it, into Emma's mouth.

"Kiss!"

They kissed, both tasting of me. I looked at them. I knew I could join them; but I wanted to watch.

Getting the message, AK moved down from Emma's lips to her neck. As my lover's legs opened on the bed, AK pushed her leg in, turning them so she could rub wetness against Emma's. The sound of them scissoring made me want to touch myself; so I didn't. I wanted to be with them, totally.

As AK pressed against Emma, she pressed back, and kissing AK's tits, she began to suck. That made AK toss her blonde hair back, moaning; she pushed herself into Emma even harder. I could hear their squelching, smell their arousal. But still, I held back.

Emma bit AK's nipples, something I knew they both loved, and it had its effect:

"Fuck, fuck Emma, press against me, harder, harder. You enjoying this Squirt?"

"I am," I replied, and Emma moaned loudly.

"I want you, too Pixie!"

"Wait," I replied. I knew now what I wanted. This might have started as an act of love and altruism, and it might have looked as though I was being set to the side, but the truth was I had set myself there; I knew, now, what I wanted.

In a flurry of entwined limbs and lips, my two lovers pleasured each other, but, as I had expected, it was AK who could not hold back. With Emm kissing her nipple and gripping her arse to push harder, AK came - and came hard.

"Cum with me!" AK moaned.

But I knew them both, AK would cum and need a break, Emma was not yet there.

Stripping off, I finally made my move.

"Want!" I said, as AK fell away, leaving Emma open to me. I dived in, smelling, and then tasting AK on Emma's pussy; her lips were red from the rubbing. I wanted.

AK lay to the side, watching, as I began to lick and suck. Emma was so creamy, she was not far off, and the change of partner and technique pressed her buttons almost at once. Gripping my hair, she pulled me into her pussy and, grinding her wetness against me, coated me with her cream and she screamed my name.

I felt AK's hands on my arse. But I had not finished. Emma was different from AK, her orgasm would be followed by another, smaller one, so I stayed put, moderating my licking while I cleaned her up, doing just enough to keep her simmering.

I felt AK behind me, pulling me up so that I was kneeling as I continued to lick Emma. Her tongue was on my pussy.

"Fuck, Squirt, you are so bloody wet."

I could feel she was right. Expertly, she lapped at me, as I did the same to Emma. Then, naughty girl that she was, AK began to rub a wet finger against my rosebud. Shamelessly, I pressed back, Suddenly, I wanted her. As Emma came again against my face, I felt my own suppressed climax rising. AK knew how to get me there fast, and she deployed all her skills.

Holding myself back, so that Emma could have the third orgasm I felt building, I pushed myself back on AK, just hard enough to cause a little bit of discomfort, which cooled me down so that I could finish with my darling Emma. She was so creamy and hot that I felt as though I could drown in her juices; I loved the feel of her thighs as she pressed my head between them. She came again, just as AK renewed her twin assaults on my rosebud and pussy. I gave in and came, shuddering, pushing myself against Emma as she muttered my name.

Coming down from my own high, I turned, to find AK smiling as she looked at us both.

"You know Squirt, I get it, I suddenly get why you liked watching me and Chloe!"

I smiled, and kissed her, so she could taste Emma again. Then I cuddled back onto Emma, who pulled me to her. AK lay down with us both.

"Squirt sandwich," she giggled.

I could feel the beating of their hearts, and my own. It felt as though I was in the centre of some warm bubble where everything was perfect. They both turned to face each other across me, and kissed, their breasts brushing my nipples as they did so.

"I see you do like mummy bods, AK?"

"I like yours, Emma. Thank you - and you Squirt; that was so good."

It was.

We lay together for a while until AK said:

"I am going to get back to Issy, it is nearly time for a feed, so I will leave you two lovebirds to it."

So saying, she kissed us both and left.

Emma looked at me. I could see a concern, so I kissed her nose.

"It was good, it really was. I don't feel as though that has done anything to harm what we have, indeed, the opposite."

"Were you really all right watching me and AK make out? You know you could have joined in."

"I know. I joined in when I wanted, darling. This is new for us, but you and her need space too. I can't pretend to have worked this out - it was the last way I expected to be spending this evening - but it was a great way to celebrate!"

"Pixie," Emma said, leaning on her elbow and kissing me, "you are a special one. I was sceptical, but let's face it, there are plenty of people sceptical about lesbian relationships. You may be right. I didn't feel as though I lost anything. I gained a new lover, your other lover, and somehow, that deepened what we have."

As I snuggled into her breasts and sleep began to overtake me, I knew in my soul that she was right. Something special had been added to both our lives, and to AK's. The three of us amounted to more together than separately.