Gina Falls for Friend Yvonne

"How? Is it really possible?" Gina wondered in disbelief.

A tiny niggle of a feeling at the back of her mind had started months ago. She had been refusing to allow it to come into the light. Despite this, the niggle had blossomed. It had started with a seedling of a friendship. That friendship had not only grown but blossomed. She had been trying hard to brush off the ever-more-explicit dreams and the near constant thoughts until looking at the truth in the light of day, it hit her hard: she was in love, despite herself and her denials. Despite the unlikeliness of it all.

Gina had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Here she was, a middle-aged, married, straight hausfrau, in love with her good friend Yvonne, a beautiful, confident lesbian transgender woman.

Her thoughts traced back along the path that led to this point and questioned if she could really trust her new truth. Was this simply a response to confinement at home for eight weeks? Or was she simply projecting her need for intimacy on to a close friend?

Gina and Yvonne had met over a decade ago when Yvonne was still Keith and had not come out to anyone but his soon-to-be wife, Michelle. Gina and her husband Pete were new to the tight-knit academic community, having recently moved from a large city in the northeast to the small southern town for Pete's new job at the liberal arts college. They'd instantly felt welcome and comfortable in the greater academic family of the college and surrounding neighborhood. In fact, it was a little liberal haven, a dot of blue, in a sea of conservative red, a safe group of people with which to share ideas and be oneself. Gina and Pete had thrived there, he teaching core science classes, and she working remotely in her home-office for a tech company in Massachusetts. She was thrilled not to have to commute anymore and liked the comfort of her and the cats hanging out in her sunny private office.

Not long after they had settled in and started to socialize with what would become a cherished support group, they were invited to Keith and Michelle's wedding. The couple had found each other later in life. Nearing 40, he'd never been married, and Michelle was a little older, and long ago divorced. Michelle's adult children were happy their beautiful mom had found new love with Keith. Gina and Pete had been surprised to be invited, as they felt they didn't know the couple very well. But it was an honest and tender ceremony with just the families of the happy couple and the college friend-group as delighted witnesses.

Keith was a slight man, an artist with a curly ponytail and a hint of gray starting at his temples. Keith had a fierce musical talent, yet a quiet, often withdrawn manner. He seemed sweet but shy, the classic introvert. Except when he wasn't. Several parties and themed costume events into their acquaintance, Keith and Michelle had shown up in gender-bending swaps, such as Keith outfitted as a beautiful woman in a 1920's costume, and Michelle playing the con-man in a zoot-suit. It was obvious who Michelle was, but at that first costume party they had attended, neither Gina nor Pete had any inkling the lovely flapper with the great gams was actually Keith.

Over the months of that first year, Keith's musical talent was also on display at many campus events, and it was interesting to see the public-performer side contrasting with the quiet, gentle man. Gina had even admitted to some of her women friends that she had a little crush on Keith. Others admitted the same thing. What is it about the quiet, gentle artist types?

Gina and her husband Pete even joked with each other about various innocent crushes over the years, and which celebrities they thought were hot. It was a game, and neither felt it was a threat to their relationship. Pete would tease Gina at the end of these silly discussions: "I'm an old geezer, I know the young hot girls wouldn't look twice. Nothing to fear, honey."

And Gina often felt the same way as Pete. "Too many women and not enough men, I'm certainly not on anyone's radar." She rolled her eyeballs and laughed: "Especially once you've hit your forties." She felt Pete had nothing to worry about with her.

Gina was enthusiastic about life, bubbly, and generally well liked. Like so many people, her weight would fluctuate, and being a petite woman, there were far fewer places to hide weight gain. She didn't consider herself a beauty, but on her good days, when her wavy dark hair was behaving itself and she pushed away negative self-talk, she felt cute. She'd even been hit on a few times during her marriage and had a proposition from a handsome acquaintance who liked cute curvy ladies. But it was never a real option, as she just didn't have it in her to hurt Pete that way, nor did the thought turn her on. She had always needed to feel a deep connection with a man before her body could respond with sexual desire, and that had not changed just because she was a married woman. She struggled to understand the modern concept of hookup culture and no-strings-attached sex.

Gina felt that she and Pete were evenly matched in most ways: ordinary people with ordinary wants. Their sex life was vanilla and sparse. Pete was sweet, a best friend but one who had never rocked her world in bed. She had fallen in love and chosen to build a life with him that would outlast libidos. Gina felt that after decades of marriage, they were like a comfortable pair of slippers to each other: warm, comforting, always there but certainly not sexy.

She knew many couples lived this way. When her libido flared and Pete's didn't, she could always take care of her needs, and get lost in reading erotica or some fantasy featuring hunky men and full penetration. She'd never had the boldness to experiment with toys, and even her fantasies were pretty vanilla. She'd always been most turned on by soft, slow sensual touch and portrayals of gentle heterosexual lovemaking,

====== ** ======

One day about a year or so after the wedding, Keith sent out a courageous email to those friends he felt he could trust. The email explained that he identified as a woman, that he always had felt wrong as Keith. In his small-town southern upbringing, Keith had learned at a young age to suppress his true nature, or he would suffer a beating. But now he was ready to come out to this small group as a woman, introducing himself as "Yvonne." He did this with the full support of his wife Michelle, who had even gone shopping with him and attended several out-of-state trans and crossdresser conventions.

Gina had thought "Wow, he -- no, wait! She. Yvonne. How lucky to have Michelle. How beautiful to be so supportive of something so life-changing!" Gina also felt honored that Keith had trusted her and Pete with this news. To Gina, acceptance was a no-brainer. How could anyone not still adore Keith as he was, who he was? YVONNE. Gina and Pete were on the same page, and if anyone in their circle had felt otherwise, they certainly didn't show it.

Yvonne was nervous and scared taking that brave first step, seeking acceptance. She was willing to answer any questions the group had and help educate them on any misconceptions about being transgender. She invited this core group of about ten friends over to her house several weeks later, presenting as Yvonne to them for the first time. There were a lot of questions, and indeed misconceptions.

One friend piped up "Don't worry, I grew up in San Francisco and used to go down to the Castro district to celebrate and watch the gay parades, it doesn't faze me."

Yvonne responded with "Thank you. I'm not gay, I'm transgender. I am still aroused by women. I simply do not identify as male. My assignment of male at birth does not fit who I really am, a woman."

That was an eye opener, as Gina and some others also had wrongly assumed that with gender identity came sexual preference. Until this point, they had not understood that they are separate concepts.

Another friend, blushing and stammering, finally acknowledged a looming elephant in the room: genitals and surgery. No one wanted to be the one to ask about genitals, but surely everyone was trying to understand. Yvonne sighed. She had told her friends they could ask her anything, after all, so she expected this question, but she did not relish talking about such a personal detail.

She kept it brief: "My genitals don't define me. I'm kind of o.k. with what I have and for now, I am not seeking reassignment surgery." Everyone knew the surgery had to be insanely expensive and not something everyone could afford.

During this discussion, the group also learned that Yvonne's family had disowned her, unaccepting of her as she was. It was a huge blow and an ugly display of transphobia. Her friends vowed to pull even tighter around her in support, to be her chosen family. Yvonne's willingness to share and her forthright answers were well received. Gina recognized that showing this vulnerability was a gift of trust to be cherished. As the meeting broke up, the snacks and drink glasses cleaned up, everyone gave Yvonne a sincere hug as they said their goodbyes.

During that time of early transition, she was able to slowly present as Yvonne for a greater percentage of each week. At first, she had to split her time between acting the role of Keith for work and being herself, Yvonne, at social events. She was welcomed and accepted at ladies' nights, music jams, faculty parties, book club, etc. Gina was proud of her friends, and by extension, the college community, who rallied around Yvonne with love and encouragement. In the wider world, this was rarely the case.

A devastating complication arose for Yvonne during this already difficult time of change: Michelle was diagnosed with cancer. Yvonne lovingly cared for Michelle, balancing her job, her health, and her early transitional steps with the needs of a dying spouse. Yvonne held it together for Michelle, but after three years, the cancer took Michelle.

Yvonne had been withdrawn the past year, so occupied with caring for Michelle, and friends didn't see as much of her. But thankfully, her friends were there to lean on as she grieved and kept going with her life without Michelle. They tried to reach out to her to continue to offer friendship in the small doses that felt right for Yvonne.

She moved from a small percentage of her week as Yvonne to finally coming out at work. She'd been undergoing electrolysis to remove unwanted facial hair, and her colleagues had seen subtle changes, so they weren't that surprised. Coming out had gone better than she thought it would, even within her male dominated IT department. The guys weren't overly friendly or supportive, but there was very little mis-gendering or hostility.

Yvonne's breasts started to visibly develop. They would always be small, but she looked good and it was clear that she felt better about herself with each passing week. And those breasts were hers! Yvonne's hair grew thicker, and she was displaying more confidence. Yvonne would joke at ladies' night about the effects of the estrogen - all the moods and feelings.

"I'm basically a moody thirteen-year-old right now, in the throes of puberty! Watch it." She'd quip with her friends. "Oh, and I crave pickles." A few friends started bringing jars of crispy dills to events. She was finally able to legally change her name, living her life 100% as herself, Yvonne.

Gina was happy for Yvonne and for each successful milestone passed along her journey. The little crush she had once had on Keith had faded soon after his coming out. Gina had questioned herself why she could have an innocent crush on Keith but not on Yvonne? They were the same people, after all? Even though Yvonne hadn't really changed her core self, Gina had needed to keep the memory of Keith in her head as a separate person, a compartmentalizing to help her better understand and to start using the correct name and pronouns with Yvonne. She wasn't proud of that, she knew it was a disservice to Yvonne, but it wasn't something Gina had much control over.

The two saw each other at the normal social events like game nights, out with friends for margaritas, communal lunches, local Zumba classes. After years like this, Gina enjoyed their friendship, though they didn't often participate in one-to-one activities.

One day Yvonne had been telling Gina and a friend about continued rejection from her own family: they had planned a family vacation to Yosemite, and Yvonne was emphatically not invited. You can rationalize the rejection as the result of cultural or religious transphobia, but it still hurt like hell for your own family to completely reject you, refusing to even meet Yvonne. Gina was incensed on Yvonne's behalf, and just couldn't fathom how parents could turn their backs on their beautiful, caring, talented grown up child like that. Gina always felt it was their loss.

Yvonne sighed, "I will never get to go on another vacation with them. I always wanted to visit Yosemite." The sadness was palpable.

Gina blurted out "I'll go with you. I've never seen Yosemite and have always wanted to." It was the gut reaction of an empathetic friend. Yvonne perked up and showed a little interest.

The friends talked about what ifs, and hypotheticals, possible routes, other destinations, money, and time off. The seed had been planted but needed a year or two to grow. As it turns out, last year the little scheme finally came to fruition: Yvonne and Gina did travel on a trip together.

The plan had started with Gina, Pete, Yvonne, and friends Lisa and Chuck eager to visit California. Wine country, redwoods, and a few days in San Francisco and Santa Cruz had been added as destinations. As the date and reality of it came closer, Lisa and Chuck felt their finances couldn't support the trip. Then when the deadline to buy plane tickets hit, Pete concluded that he was too out of shape to handle even the simple hiking and touristy walking that he knew Gina and Yvonne would be doing. He gave Gina his blessing and the girls trip was a go.

===**===

The two ladies had a ball! One effect of the trip was the fact that the two friends really got to know each other on a deeper level. They spent many hours in the car driving, thus had a lot of time to share stories of growing up, lost loves, bad dates, about dreams and hopes, likes and dislikes, death and mourning, and on and on. Her heart ached for her friend when she would open up about her family.

Yvonne was shocked to learn Gina hated pizza, joking "I can't be your friend anymore." And Gina exclaimed the same thing with a laugh when it came to light that Yvonne detested the band Journey. That was Gina's "coming of age" band.

While the trip forced them to spend a lot of time together, they had booked cabins and home-rentals with separate rooms, as Yvonne needed some time each day to be alone and decompress. Yvonne was still an introvert at heart. Well, and Gina confessed she was a champion snorer. She knew the only way to remain friends was to not subject Yvonne to window-rattling snores. Gina's husband was also a prize-winning snorer, so Gina and Pete had long ago learned that separate sleeping quarters were sanity-savers.

There was lots of girl talk on the trip, too. Silly talk about song lyrics and playing the "that would be a great name for a band" game. Gina would point out men she thought were cute. "A girl can look!" she'd laugh. Yvonne would shrug, she was into women and what was eye-candy for Gina didn't do much for Yvonne. Gina knew that her friend was ready for a relationship and would like to date, but the dating scene for a transgender lesbian woman in their conservative area was so limited.

Gina knew Yvonne deserved another chance at love, and as Yvonne would say, "with someone hot!" So on the trip, Gina started to point out women she thought were cute for Yvonne. A nudge and a wink from Gina, a laugh and a blush from Yvonne. "Hey, no harm in enjoying ALL the views, right?" Gina would say.

===**===

In the months after they returned, Yvonne and Gina remained fast friends and spent more time together than before the trip. They felt more comfortable with each other. Gina hadn't really noticed it, but whenever she had a chance to spend more time with Yvonne, she would feel lighter and happier. She wasn't inventing reasons, but if she had taken a hard look at her behaviors, she was indeed looking for more opportunities to hang out with Yvonne -- either in a group or preferably alone. She wanted to please Yvonne, to make her happy if she could. It wasn't a conscious thing Gina was doing, it just happened.

Then Gina started having the dreams. The first one occurred just about the time that early-acting states issued stay-at-home orders due to the growing threat of Covid-19.

The first dream was a woman-on-woman scene, with sensual lips worshiping swollen labia, tongues gently caressing engorged little clits. Gina woke up very hot and bothered. She had never had a dream like it in her life. Besides a fondness for her own, she had never had any interest in women's genitals. The scent of her own arousal was often a turn-on, but the idea of another woman's scent, another woman's juices, had always deflated her desire. She had always like cock, penetration, and fantasies featuring hard-bodied young men with talented tongues and infinite patience. Yet here was this very hot, very lesbian dream.

On a hike with Yvonne later that week, Gina commented that she'd had the oddest sex dream. But she did not feel comfortable admitting the theme of the dream, the details. "OK, a dream doesn't have to mean anything. Sometimes a dream is just a dream" Gina declared to the forest of trees.

She just needed some intimacy, she rationalized to herself. She and Pete had not had sex for many months and frankly, she'd had a very low libido for those months. Pete wasn't interested and would tell Gina his body simply did not work in that way anymore. But that detail of her marriage was also something she didn't want to open up to her friend about.

Shortly after that, another dream invaded, also involving two women -- with her as active participant this time. In the dream, an amorphous woman was lovingly tending to Gina's swollen clit. Long delicate fingers caressed her pussy. And she liked it. When she awoke from that dream, she was soaking wet. Gina felt off kilter, as it was so against her typical desires. But she was so aroused, she needed to follow the dream's trajectory with her fingers. Her resulting orgasm was intense.

By this time, Gina and Yvonne both agreed that even their careful hikes in the woods weren't wise to pursue anymore. The local parks were getting crowded and who knew if either of them was currently an asymptomatic carrier. It also made Pete feel safer for he and Gina to stop seeing friends: he was in an at-risk group and didn't want to take chances.

A week later, a dream floated in featuring a beautiful woman sitting on a couch, with Gina practically worshipping the woman's delicate breasts. She was gently stroking the sides of those breasts, then alternately licking and sucking. She awoke with a start, knowing those sweet little tits were Yvonne's. The woman on the couch was Yvonne, naked from the waist up and reveling in Gina's ministrations! Gina had never before wanted to fondle or suck on a woman's breasts: she admired small pert breasts as something she'd have liked to sport herself, not to sexualize. She was highly aroused and liked the imagery and feelings the dream had wrought. She again used her hands to bring herself to an intense climax.

Gina tried to rationalize away the dream to herself: "Hmmm... sex dreams featuring someone you know can mean your psyche admires something about that person. It doesn't mean you really want to have sex with them." Gina tried to dismiss it, thinking "You just miss spending time with her, that's all. It doesn't mean anything."