Fucked Up Family Pt. 04

Welcome to the PART FOUR (of five) of Fucked Up Family. Parts One, Two, and Three come highly recommended at this point. But just in case, here's what's been happening.

Last time: the Campbells took some pills that lead to an ongoing, full-on family orgy. They saw a team of doctors and, afterwards, the family felt like they were finally getting better. They weren't. Everyone was still fucking, just lying about what was going on. Finally, right when they were about to go back to their jobs and lives, the Campbell parents caught their kids pleasuring each other on the living room floor. Everything came out. The family couldn't keep hiding in the house, but they couldn't stop having sex with each other, either. The Campbells agreed that they would all move forward with their lives but with a new rule: no more secrets.

Austin leaned against the brick, back wall of the restaurant and took a deep drag of his cigarette. The 19-year-old blond boy rarely smoked, but after a service like that one, he needed the nicotine to calm his nerves.

It was still summer, but the night had risen cold, and Austin hugged his arms to himself. He was standing by the dumpsters, but all he could smell was the grease of the kitchen and the tang of clean air. Austin had been told before he looked good with a cigarette in his hand. He wasn't sure that was a compliment.

The dishwasher and one of the line cooks stood in the back with him, also smoking. No one had the strength to speak. The rush had started right at five and hadn't slowed till after midnight. Busy was one thing, but that night had been particularly chaotic: nothing worked right, nothing went right. Everyone felt as burnt as the smokes they were holding.

Austin was used to feeling this way, worn down to the nub, but it was the first time in a long time that it also came with a sense of pride. It had all started a few weeks before with a family camping trip, supposedly a chance to relax. They'd taken some energy pills -- those stupid, cursed pills -- and it had given them all more than a little boost. First, he was unable to stop pissing. Then he couldn't stop fucking. And the only person around to fuck was his older sister. His Mom.

Long after the pills had probably worn off, the family was still having sex. And rather than feel bad about everything he was doing, something new happened. Something way worse: Austin discovered he was enjoying it.

It wasn't just the fucking. But, yes, the fucking. Feeling his Mom shudder as he made her cum. Filling his sister with his seed. Knowing what each looked like as they reached that most intimate moment of pleasure. So, it was definitely the fucking.

But there was also this incredible closeness. This amazing intimacy. Austin had always seen sex as a goal, but now he'd come to appreciate it as a means. His desire for his mother, so illicit, evolved into a deep emotional connection, beyond what he'd ever imagined. His feelings for Lexi -- before, he'd hated her so much. Now he'd kill for her. Die for her. And that was wonderful. Horribly, terrifyingly (completely illegally) wonderful.

Austin knew he'd changed in ways he could never understand, let alone explain. Fortunately, he'd never have to. He was never telling anyone outside the family what had happened.

"Hey, great service tonight."

Austin looked over and saw Chef Paul standing next to him. The older man rested his hand on Austin's shoulder, affectionately.

"Sure didn't feel like it," Austin said.

"Nothing will ever be perfect," Chef Paul said, "Things will fall apart, always. It's how you respond to the chaos that makes the difference. Today, you reacted well. It says a lot about you and your future in this business."

Austin smiled and his mentor smiled back. When his cigarette was down to nothing, Austin packed up his things and headed out. He drove back to his apartment, grinning goofily the whole way.

It was late when he got home, and his roommates were fast asleep. The apartment was dark, and Austin left it that way. Most times, he came home hungry. That night, the only thing he wanted was to lie down and die. Austin went into his bedroom. He didn't even bother to get undressed. Just flopped on the bed and shut his eyes.

It had been a good day. A good week, really. He was back in the apartment. Back at work. Life was finally moving forward. As much as Austin adored everything that had happened with his family, he couldn't deny that it was destroying him, too. This was hard, but it was better. Safer. Life would never be the same, he knew, but at least he would be living the way he was supposed to.

Austin checked his phone before going to sleep. There was one text, sent a few hours before.

Lexi: Miss you.

Austin texted back without thinking. Miss you too.

He fell asleep, dreaming about his older sister's incredible body and all the things he'd like to do with her.

*

Lexi woke up in her old high school bedroom back home. It was still so disorienting to be there sometimes. She felt like she'd time travelled. Or was maybe still dreaming. Why was she back here? Remembering what had happened all over again was a mix of misery and joy. That was the real mindfuck of it. Lexi hated herself for what she'd done, but she also despised the idea of stopping.

Lexi didn't want to be the weird incest pervert girl who fucked her brother, her father, her mother, her sister, plus a couple random college siblings by the lake that one time... Just listing it out made her feel ashamed.

But it also left her strangely satisfied. Because Lexi also very much did want to be the girl who had this awesome man in her life (aka, her brother) and a great relationship with her parents and siblings. It made her feel weirdly complete in a way she'd never known was possible. At least not since she was in high school and she had a serious boyfriend and a great best friend. And everyone called her Alexis.

Lexi rolled out of bed and checked her phone. She had a text back from her brother.

Austin: Miss you, too

A lot of good things (shockingly) had come out of the horror of that camping trip, but the best one was Lexi's relationship with her brother. Before, they couldn't be in the same area code without arguing. Now they were best friends. And lovers. Lexi was way more than OK with that. Those three little words he'd texted? They set her heart to soaring, enough to carry her the rest of the day.

Lexi got up and showered, making sure to trim back her pubic hair, which had already started growing back in. It was important to her to stay bald down there. It was a symbol of the promise she'd made to herself. About who she was and who she was going to be.

Out of the shower, Lexi dressed in a black and white striped shirt and a short, black skirt. Rather than put her hair in the usual ponytail, she brushed it out. Lexi made up her cheeks and eyes, then went downstairs. Her parents had both already left for work. Molly was snoring softly in her own bedroom.

Lexi downed a protein bar, then went to the garage and fired up her little blue sedan. She attended the state college nearby and during the rest of the year, Lexi lived on campus. Her parents had bought her the car hoping she'd use it to visit on weekends. She never had.

This was the problem, as Lexi saw it. Fucking her family was wrong. So so so wrong. Everyone agreed. There was no debating this. BUT. Well, if not fucking her family meant resenting them, never seeing them, being angry and unhappy all the time... then was it such a bad thing to keep doing what they were doing?

Probably. But Lexi knew they'd have to physically restrain her before she'd stop.

The drive to school took about ninety minutes. Lexi listened to music the whole way. The start of class was still a good ways off, Lexi could have spent the whole day lazing around the house. Sure, she needed to buy her books for the year and had a couple of things to take care of with the student loan office, but those could have waited. No, mostly this was just to give Lexi something to do and also, importantly, a test.

At first, the pills they took at the lake had driven the Campbell family to fuck anything, everything, they could find. If Lexi had found a good cock-shaped tree knot, she'd have humped that, too. The encounter with the redheaded college siblings -- Kim and Cole, Lexi reminded herself -- at the lake had been part of that. She simply needed them both in that moment.

After the Campbells came home and tried to control themselves, though, an interesting permutation had occurred. Lexi, the whole family really, had started only desiring each other. This wasn't a side effect of the pill, obviously. Family sex was not an adverse event. But whatever had shifted in their brains had caused this odd consequence where incest was best.

The few times the family had gone out, Lexi hadn't felt any crazed urges. She didn't jump the jogger who passed her running in the neighborhood. She didn't assault the reverend at church. It was only when she got home that she felt the uncontrollable urge to screw her brother and Mom. And sister. And so on.

Going to the college was another way of testing Lexi's theory. She figured she'd walk around campus and see. If things got out of control again, well, her car was waiting nearby to take her to safety. Lexi was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen though. She was pretty sure she had this thing well figured out.

Lexi parked in a student lot and walked over to the admissions building. She was used to seeing the campus covered in snow, or at least dead leaves, and a warm summer's day made the place look different. She wasn't accustomed to seeing bright green grass on the quad. She didn't expect to see swaths of students in shorts and t-shirts. The area was lovely, and it warmed Lexi's heart to be back at a place she'd started to think of as home.

Lexi got her paperwork straightened out, then went over to the campus bookstore. She called up her list on her phone and grabbed what she needed. The whole time, she passed other students, professors, administrators, store clerks -- the college was quite busy -- and she didn't feel anything at all. This is fine, she thought. Better than fine, it's awesome!

She found everything except one book. When she went to the front, there was a boy (a cute boy, tall, with mussy brown hair and a bow-shaped mouth who she still totally didn't want to fuck) behind the counter. When she asked about the missing book, he sucked his teeth like she'd kicked him in the shins.

Apparently, the professor had listed something that was currently out of print. Whatever stock they had, they'd sold months before. They were hopeful they'd get more copies in before the start of the semester, but in the meantime, Lexi should check the school library. He'd heard they had several copies and if Lexi grabbed one of those now, she'd be ahead of the game.

Lexi thanked him, then popped out of the bookstore and headed toward the library.

"Alexis!"

She looked over and saw a familiar face standing across the street, smiling and waving. It was Dane, her formerly super serious high school boyfriend. He jogged over to meet her.

"I thought that was you," he said.

"It's me," Lexi said, forcing a grin.

There was a time when Lexi thought Dane was the most handsome man she'd ever seen. The rest of the high school had agreed with her. He had dark hair and even darker eyes. Broad shoulders. Always well dressed. But looking at him in the collegiate summer sun, he simply wasn't the same.

He had a bit of a paunch around the waist. His hair looked thin and oily. His nose was bent at a weird angle and something about his smile seemed more desperate than sexy. She supposed he could have changed since she'd seen him. But then, Lexi had changed, too. She wondered how much came from column A and how much from column B. No matter how Lexi tried, she couldn't see the man she'd once known she was going to marry.

In fact, all Lexi could see now was the man that Dane wasn't: Austin. Austin's smile was sweeter. His body tighter. The way his light eyes seemed to shine with laughter. How he carried himself, even when he was down. In a world where Lexi had her golden boy brother, Dane couldn't even claim to be pyrite.

"I said, how've you been, Alexis?" Dane asked. He'd clearly repeated it at least once already.

"Oh! Fine," Lexi said, "Sorry I was distracted for a moment. I'm fine. How are you? How is Gretchen?" Lexi felt herself get nauseous just from saying the name of her former best friend.

Dane looked down and kicked at the ground. "We broke up."

"Oh, what a shame," Lexi said, "You two seemed so right together." She said the word 'right' like their compatibility was a conviction. You're such lying snakes, you ought to be slithering around each other.

Lexi and Dane had dated throughout high school. They were the 'Perfect Couple.' College had come and everything had seemed fine. Then Lexi went to some frat party that Dane wasn't supposed to be at, and she'd caught her 'Perfect Boyfriend' hooking up with her 'Best Friend.'

Lexi had known Gretchen since they were in pre-school. They were beyond BFFs, they were practically sisters. Lexi winced thinking about that now. How had she felt closer to dumb Gretchen than Molly, her actual amazing sibling? Lexi couldn't explain it, but she couldn't deny the truth of how she'd felt, either.

When she found her boyfriend and her best friend in bed at that party, everything shattered. Lexi didn't know who she hated more in that moment. Actually, she did: she hated herself. She loathed the perfect little person she'd convinced herself she was. The innocent dope who'd let people she'd trusted hurt her so.

That was the moment, the very second, where Alexis became Lexi. When the little girl grew up to be a woman. As for Dane and Gretchen, well, they could go fuck each other. Which, last she'd heard, was exactly what they'd been doing. A new 'Perfect Couple.'

"No, ummm, Gretchen and I split up months ago," Dane said, "It was all such a huge mistake. In fact, that's why I was hoping to talk to you. Alexis, we used to be so good together. I know I screwed up. Gretchen and I felt really bad about it, honestly."

"I'll bet."

"Well, now that we're apart, I was hoping maybe you would... You're so amazing Alexis, I never should have let you go. Just thinking about it -- me here in class, you helping me with homework, cooking meals. That should have been our lives. I know I made a terrible mistake."

Lexi tried to stifle a giggle, but a bit came out anyway. This? This was the creature that had killed happy, innocent Alexis? If she'd been that weak, that stupid, then she deserved to die. God, it was like pining for the prince and finding out he was actually a dung beetle.

"No," Lexi said, "But thank you. Thank you for everything you did. You taught me so much about myself that I never could have learned on my own. You made me a stronger, better person. And I don't think I can ever acknowledge you enough for that."

"Alexis, I..."

"My name is Lexi," Lexi said, holding out her hand to stop Dane from talking further. Then she skipped past him. The way she should have years ago. She was glad she got the opportunity to do it right the second time around.

*

Since fall classes had yet to start, the library was mostly empty. Lexi got a computer straight off (something that would never happen during the school year) and found that her book would be on the fifth floor, if it was there. The State library system probably hadn't been upgraded since her Dad had been in school and it often sent students on wild goose chases for books that had been removed weeks before, or that were in a different place entirely, or that no longer existed at all.

Lexi took the stairs, all four flights, and felt great for doing so. At each level, the library got emptier. Up on five, it was like a deserted warehouse. Just stacks and shelves of books and no one else. The only thing that gathered here was dust.

On the third shelf of the tenth row of bookshelves, exactly where the computer had predicted it would be, Lexi found her book. She pulled it off the shelf and squeezed the binding like a treasured companion. Like her fingers had to reassure themselves that it was real. It made her feel special, to have what so many others would be searching for.

Lexi started to put the book in her bag, but then she heard footsteps from a few rows over. Apparently, she wasn't the only one on that floor after all. The person was coming closer. Lexi could see her now -- a woman with long red hair. No.

What was it with today and uncomfortable encounters?!

"Oh my God!" the girl exclaimed.

It was Kim, the sibling from the lake shore. She had more clothing on than the last time Lexi had seen her -- jeans and a short sleeve top -- but otherwise she looked the same as before. Kim was a little shorter than Lexi, which meant she was still tall for a woman. The girl's body seemed to scream sex -- curvy with wide hips and a chest that looked ready to pop off her body -- but Lexi also thought that might be a remnant of their shared history.

Kim recognized Lexi immediately, of course. Her freckled face broke into a wide grin and, rather than be shy like a normal person, Kim immediately cheered and clapped.

"Oh, I was hoping I would run into you again! I mean, it's such a big world how could I ever? We didn't share numbers or names or anything. But then I thought that we seemed about the same age and being by that lake meant we both lived nearby and that maybe it was, like, meant to be or something and anyway I'm really happy to see you here."

Lexi didn't remember the redhead being so chatty the last time they'd met. She hoped it was nerves. The girl didn't seem to notice that all this talking was only making Lexi stay quieter. She just kept going on about kismet, whatever that meant. Instinctively, Lexi looked over Kim's shoulder for her other half.

"Oh, don't worry, my dumb brother wouldn't be caught dead in a library. Unless you wanted to see him? But, well, I still think it would be better if we had some fun by ourselves this time, you know?"

Kim stepped forward, but Lexi flinched.

"Oh! I don't remember you being this nervous," Kim said.

"I'm not," Lexi said, "Not shy. Just... maybe not in the same place I was before."

"Well duh," Kim said, "Library. Not lake." She laughed at her own joke. Lexi stared back at her. The tall brunette didn't know how to respond. She wasn't afraid of Kim or anything. Lexi didn't regret what had happened. But she didn't want to regret anything that was going to happen either.

"Fuck, we didn't like, hurt you, did we?" Kim asked, "This whole time I had it in my head that we were all doing dirty stuff together. Was it the brother/sister thing? It creeped you out, didn't it?"

"No," Lexi said, finally finding her voice, "It didn't creep me out."

"OK good," Kim said, "We don't usually tell people about that. I mean, we don't ever tell people, honestly. But I was so into it in the moment. I felt like I could trust you -- I don't know why." Kim reached over and stroked Lexi's cheek. "God, you were amazing."

"It was fun," Lexi said, "But I'm not sure I'm ready to repeat it."

"Oh," Kim said. She snatched her hand away. "Oh."

"It's not like I didn't like it," Lexi said, "On the lake. I did. It was great. At the time I was... Well I was in a place where that sort of thing made sense."

"And now you're not," Kim said. Her eyes went hard. Her lips were pouty.

"Right here in the library?" Lexi said, "Not really, no. But another time? Well, I wouldn't say no to that."