Finding the Perfect Fit Pt. 16

Holy shit, I fell asleep on the keyboard! Well, I guess that makes me a real writer now, having passed out while typing. Anyway, Jamie started texting me during my early shift and thanks to being in the cooler, I was able to answer quickly.

'Sorry I was so all over the place last night. Had a lot on my mind.' Jamie might be one of the few people who use periods and proper grammar in texts. And I dunno if it's cause of him or my English class that I've been giving my all to, I've been trying as well.

'All good. Ya better today?' I responded back, setting my phone on a stack of Coke instead of back in my pocket. Easier to grab when he responded and that took a few minutes, catching me fighting with a tray of 1-liter Dr. Peppers while on a step stool.

"Nice timing Jamie!" I said to no one, sending the bottles down their slide and heard the first one fall. It never fucking fails. That row got stocked and the tray added to the stack of empties before I got to read his text.

'Kinda? I keep going back to that dress and I don't know how to feel about it.' Turning down my music, no Fleetwood Mac today, I pondered how to respond.

'Ya looked good! What's left to say?' Not great but I was on the clock and still had holes in the drink wall left to fill. I resumed, wondering about Jamie and what he wanted. Admitting he was bisexual must have been a huge step for him and yet he did so in a logical manner, with research and deduction. I knew that I liked Cass and once that fell apart, I drifted until I was getting to know Clint and with him, found out I might like guys too. For me, it hadn't been that big of a deal but Jamie? Who had lived his life shrinking away from people and dealing with shithead 'Father of the Year' eighteen years running?

My text chime rang out in my ear and I killed off the current tray of Mountain Dew and bringing over another, filling in the holes before reading his text. I was dragging ass, lacking sleep and texting on the job but fuck it, Christmas at this place had nearly killed me so they could deal with one bad day.

'That's the problem? If I didn't fit then I could write it off, forget about it. But the dress was so nice and I loved how it felt Gen.' I smiled at the honesty, the memory of him swishing the skirt to and fro coming easily, Jamie as happy as a person could be in that moment.

'Whenever ya wanna try it on, just let me know.' The question of if I should be encouraging him came and went, as in Jamie's words what did it matter? If he like the dress, then why not wear it? No one was hurt by it, the world didn't change except for the better, as Jamie got what he wanted out of it and so did I.

Moving onto the energy drink section, I got the Monster filled up but not before my mouth started to water at recalling the taste, that jolt of sweetness and slight tang so tempting. The lemonade wasn't any better, sweeter and lacking the brutal punch of regular Monster. I'm not sure being a Monster taste tester is a job but after last semester, I was well versed in most of their products. Yeah, being a consumer whore is really something to be proud of.

A chirp told me of Jamie's response and I pushed on to get this section filled up so I could move on and try to forget about the tastes my monkey brain craved. Giving up, I checked my phone and saw a novella waiting for me.

'I'm scared of how much I like it. All of it. I don't have to advertise that I like things in my butt but the cross dressing? That's way more obvious. And I want more, to try on everything you have and before, these thoughts were easy to ignore cause I couldn't do anything about it. Now? I keep seeing myself in the mirror, looking like a girl ready to be taken to prom that I never went to and it hurts but feels good at the same time.'

I read that twice before getting interrupted by someone opening the door and yelling for me to stock the milk. I called back "Yeah, sure!" and gave Jamie a 'one minute', tucking my phone away. I hauled gallons of dairy on the shelves in record time, mind burning over his thoughts.

Milk good and full, I stepped behind a shelf and reread the text, still at a loss of how to respond. I didn't get a single letter down when another text came in.

'How much is there to a person? How deep does all of this go? Is this who I am?' Blinking at reading that, I raised my free hand and slapped the side of my head.

"The fuck am I suppose to do with this?" My question went unanswered and I furiously typed out what first came to mind.

'Jamie that last text is way above my pay grade! Ya got boobs so no wonder ya like things that fit ya boobies after so long without. Just cause ya bi doesn't change who ya are! Have ya started listening to different music since we fucked?' And sent, leaving me stranded and annoyed. So I returned to work, unable to fully grasp his questions, tossing them back and forth endlessly as if they were a live coal.

When he sent a return message I waited until the current song ended, trying to get my temper under control. Just cause he was having a harder time accepting what he liked was a terrible reason to snap at him. Still, I took a deep breath before reading what he had to say.

'No I haven't. Never thought of that. Sorry, I'm just freaked out about how strong that feeling was.' The screen dimmed, then faded to black as I failed to find something to say.

"Freaking me out too dude." I muttered to the few twelve packs with weird names, hauling them on the shelves. Had to be patent, let him figure all of this out. Jamie deserved, at the very least, for someone to let him do that much. Getting the beer topped off, the tomato crap being sold out once again, I reread his last text and only then sent my reply.

'Ya gotta take it easy and deal with this shit one turd at a time. There is no reason to rush into this and flip ya whole world upside down cause of some dress. At least get 2 outta the deal.' Tucking my phone away, I got back to work for the last hour, not wanting to be accused of slacking off and being put on a register.

The cooler was looking good by the time I clocked out, checking Jamie's text as I got out to my car, the day cold but clear.

'Okay, doing much better. Guess as long as Metallica is my favorite band I'm still me. Come by my job for lunch, I'll hook you up for dealing with my drama.' Sitting in my still warming up car, all I could do was shake my head. Out of all measures of identity, it fell to a rock band. Of course.

Still, I let him know I'd be by around 2ish, so maybe we could talk after the lunch rush and headed to my dorm, showering and coming out alert and refreshed. When looking for something to change into, I saw the gray ghost that had so enamored Jamie last night hanging in my closet, nothing more than a batch of sub par memories for me but a crisis for him. Yet in that moment, Jamie had reached an unsustainable level of happiness and how high it must have been.

Picking a lower cut shirt and tight jeans, the Meeting Jamie Casual, I opened my laptop and brought up this document before closing it. I wanted to write but had already gotten last night's clusterfuck down.

A few hours passed and I saved the new thing, very uncertain but feeling there was a nugget of gold there that I had to dig for. Grabbing my coat, I went out to start my car and was standing out there when Donna pulled up beside me.

"Hey, there was a note on the door, something about them coming in to look at the other rooms." Each of these little dorm houses has four bedrooms but the other two in our unit had been damaged sometime last year. How exactly that happened seems to be myth, with the most common one being two girls getting into a fight over a boy or meth, yes really, and somehow a fire starts. The first day of Donna and I living here we'd taken the tape off the doors and checked out the damaged rooms. Sure enough, the common wall between them was blackened and the ceiling stained with smoke.

"What, now? In the middle of fuckin' winter?" She shrugged and I sighed, knowing there was no rhyme or reason to what the college did. "Sure, long as we don't get new roommates anytime soon." Donna nodded, as we had come to some kind of fucked up agreement. Sure, we really didn't like each other but coexisted well enough.

"I'm going out tonight so feel free to have your hippy boy toy come over." Her smile was disconcerting but whatever. If Donna knew something, I'd deal with it later. With a wave, I got in my car and cranked the heater, heading off to Jamie's Dairy Queen. It wasn't busy but a few of the booths were occupied, the people talking more than eating. The smell of the kitchen wasn't enough to overpower the scent of ice cream and the machinery to make it.

"Whatever she gets, put it on my tab." I heard Jamie say, seeing him in the back by the grill. He sounded normal but in a hat and back in the kitchen, I couldn't be sure.

"Ohh, I didn't know ya had a girlfriend Jamie." The 30 something woman who walked up to the register said, looking me up and down with bright, cheery eyes. "Let me guess, ya met online."

"Nope." I said, picking the name Missy off her name tag. She looked like the kind of person who was too smart to be working at a place like this but had some reason for it. Those types came and went at the gas station, sights always set higher.

"Leave her alone, Missy. She came to eat, not to be interrogated." Jamie said, leaning on a microwave and giving me a little wave that I returned. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail and covered with a DQ hat, paired with a huge apron that intentionally wasn't pull tight over his work uniform. It made him look far younger than he was, like Jamie was playing at working instead of being paid for his time.

"Aww, ya no fun! But okay, whatcha want?" Dropping me a wink, Missy took up a pen and hovering it above an old school paper slip, ready to take my order.

"I'll give ya another guess." I said, Jamie rolling his eyes as Missy perked up. "Just one though cause I need to figure out what I want." Very true and aside from Tom, I didn't know anyone else that Jamie hung out with. Even if it was a coworker, I was interested in their thoughts on him.

Studying the menu, only then realizing how hungry I was as Missy looked back at Jamie, then me. "Ya going to school?" I nodded at her question and she stood up straight, eyes ablaze. "Met in a class, final answer."

"Nope. Number three please, no pickles, small chocolate shake." Studying me, Missy jotted down the order and tore it free, handing it back to Jamie, who started cooking it at once.

"Really." Muttering that, Missy started making my shake and I was left to my own devices for a minute or so until she returned, handing my ice cream over. "Nothing against Jamie, he's a good kid, but where Hell did you find him?"

"Ya make it sound like I went shopping and saw him in a window." Keeping my voice down, as Jamie was busy, I took a drink as Missy chuckled.

"Looking, I'm not saying you're out of his league but..." The unsaid question lingered as I took another drink, letting Missy stew in silence. "Just surprised is all."

"Missy, come on, be civil." Jamie came from the back and raised part of the counter, stepping past and joining me. "I'mma take lunch, Johnny's back from break." Jamie reeked of grease but hey, just part of the job.

"Alright, have fun you two!" Missy started talking with another guy who was watching us leave, the gossip already started to flow as we headed out to my car. Still warm, I tore into the burger as Jamie spoke.

"I swear, she's more interested in my life than I am." I nearly choked at that, knocking a lump that almost went down wrong free. "Always saying I need to get out more, living life and enjoy being young."

"Let me guess: That means going to parties and getting piss drunk?" I managed to say that much, still sucking down air after nearly dying.

"Nah, but Missy's definitely a extrovert." I nodded, as that explained everything. "And I never mentioned you cause well..." He blushed, stealing a fry as I made sure to chew and swallow before speaking. Amazing, I was still learning that talking while eating was a bad idea. I might get the whole living thing down at some point.

"I get it. My little sister's the same way, asking 'bout everything I've ever done." Jamie nodded, taking another fry.

"By the way, Donna's out partying tonight so if ya wanna come by..." Thoughtfully chewing on the sliver of potato, Jamie took his time getting all of his thoughts in order.

"Sorry about this morning. I kinda had a freak out and you brought me back. I owe ya so yeah, I'll be there once I'm off." He looked and sounded more confident, meeting my eyes when he said that.

"Ya owe me huh? What's that mean?" I asked all innocently, fluttering my eyelashes at him.

"Whadda think?" I bit back laughter, still giving him a huge, sweet smile that felt wrong the longer I held it. "Stop that."

"Whyyy?" I asked, batting my eyelashes at him once more.

"Or I'll not come by tonight." That got me to stop, opening my mouth to protest before I noticed his grin, that he'd won.

"Oh, you'll come over." I snaked my hand in his lap, not grabbing but letting it rest on his thigh. "Cause I've got more surprises." Almost true but I had time to figure something out before he got off work.

"Gen, your last surprise fucked me up." Jamie said, covering my hand with his, giving a light squeeze. "But seeing how I'm Pandora, I can't say 'no', can I?" I grinned, amused by the callback and how true it was.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of ya. Off at nine, right?" I asked and he nodded, taking a sip of my shake before giving me a brief hug and returning to work. So I had a handful of hours to figure out another surprise and after a few minutes of driving around, I went to the mall. Sure, the adult toy store was always there but Jamie hadn't said anything about getting something bigger so I was keeping it that way.

But the mall was pretty big and still thriving, despite the gloom and doom surrounding such places. I found a spot to park, way in the back, and hurried inside. It was packed, with it being Saturday and the chatter overwhelmed any music that might have been playing. Teenagers with stupid haircuts abounded, parents dragging along kids with wide eyes either taking it all in or glued to phones, the smells of the food court wafting far and wide.

Unzipping my coat, it was plenty warm in here, I started walking, checking out the stores as they passed by. Ritzy clothes places that I'd never been into before, a hat shop, used game store that was having a DVD sale, sports shop, a group of kids running and shouting, shoe store, escalator to the upper floor that I took. Even with the times changing, the mall adapted and those who came here to shop never seemed to change. It was a weird sort of comfort, that this place had outlived plenty of people and I might end up being another one. Or not, who knew?

Stepping onto the upper floor, I strolled around, checking out a few women in leggings before spotting the store I was looking for. Sure, I know Victoria's Secret isn't the best place for what I was after but it was close and convenient enough.

I walked into a place that would probably give Jamie a heart attack and browsed, not quite sure what I was looking for but I'd promised him a surprise and surely there was something here that qualified. Another dress was out of the question, at least for now, but something slinky or overtly girly would do.

I knew exactly what I was getting upon seeing them nestled in a narrow slice of the wall between panties for women with serious hips and some sheer stuff like we'd tried on last night. A bunch of garter belts hung loosely from pegs in the wall, lacy and tempting. Jamie liked stockings, had asked for them last night, and I figured this would tickle his fancy too.

Checking out the colors, no gray, I reached for black but instead grabbed a pure white one. I'd wanted to see Jamie in bride's attire when we'd first started making out and this was a small, broke ass step towards that. Another pair of stockings to go along with it, these white as well, screamingly so. I'd never seen anyone wear these before but hey, that only made them more special. With those in my arms I wandered about, not looking to spend any more money but knowing I had a bit to spare thanks to holiday pay.

I stopped cold, seeing something I'd never considered before and the rising fire in my stomach told me this was a good idea, the best idea ever. All manner of bustiers and corsets screamed for me to buy them and present it before Jamie, to see how he would react and how happy it would make him. Then I saw the prices and then they began mocking me for not wanting to spend that much for his happiness. The issue now was Jamie interested in this? Probably but I didn't know for sure considering how much even one of these things was.

"May I help you?" A very pretty woman with a dark mess of curls falling to her shoulders asked, catching me off guard. I shook my head, finding where my voice had run off to and kicking it into gear.

"Ah, no I'm good. Thanks though." Christ she was pretty though! Nice ass too, I saw as she walked away to help another customer. Turning back to the tempting display, I had no idea what Jamie's size would be in any of this and if I was going to spend big, I had to make sure it was going to fit. Leaving this alone for now, I wondered over to the check out stand surrounded by all kinds of cheap shit about it. Basically everything over here was stamped with the store's name, as if the addition of two words made it more valuable. Or just slapping PINK on everything.

Glancing back towards the bustiers, I smirked at seeing pictures of models showing off the styles and how Jamie had all those skinny bitches beat in boobage. Sure, they all had the smoldering eyes and pouty lips standard for advertising shit to women but he simply had more up top.

Paying for Jamie's surprise, I snagged a catalog before leaving and tucked it in the bag then got out of there. A few people along the way gave knowing looks upon seeing me with the distinctive pink and black bag. 'Haha, you bought expensive underwear and now I know.' They said with their eyes. Or, from a few of the guys: 'I'm never going to see you in that underwear and I hate you for it.' Their anger wasn't anything I could solve so I left, back out in the cold. Trekking back to my car, I got it fired up and turned the radio on, finding either Journey or Foreigner and singing along until the heater blew hot air.

Then began the drive home and I saw Donna's car was still outside the dorm when I got back. Taking my goodies from the bag and tucking them in a coat pocket, I folded the bag up and shoved it under a seat. There, no snarky questions while my brain was boiling from renewed interest in seeing Jamie as a blushing bride in pure white that wouldn't be sullied as he would make sure the dress and lingerie was taken care of before I had a chance to ruin it. Jesus, that's a fucked up fantasy! Like, if that was in a video on YouPorn, who'd be out there getting off on the guy picking up the chick's clothes before banging?

Anyway, I flopped down on the bed, hearing that Donna was taking a shower and removed the rosa-blanca.ru on my new purchases. That done, I tucked them under a pillow for later. Now, I just had to wait. Once more I grabbed this laptop and got to work typing today out and it did the trick of passing the time as well as being soothing. I hope tonight goes well. Future Gen, don't fuck this up!

Future Gen here and I didn't fuck up, I fucked Jamie instead! Alright, from the beginning. I picked up Jamie from work, the restaurant dark and Missy nowhere to be seen. The clarity of the day had faded into a brutally cold night, the stars distant and cold, only half of a moon watching as Jamie hopped in my car.