Epiphany Pt. 05

Rebuilding or is it Finito?

Sam had no illusions that Linda had a few ulterior motives in her scheduling of workouts. When she could be sure that he was lifting weights she would show up in a thin leotard sans bra and panties. She would warm up and then run on the treadmill before using the weights and asking Sam to spot her. She usually opted for a white leotard that would become almost transparent as it got wet from either her perspiration or the water that she would conveniently “spill” on herself.

Her excited nipples would immediately show through the material. Sam could almost see every bump on her aureole as the material was so sheer and tight. He liked the look but he resisted the temptation to do more than ogle her. Linda was obviously miffed when she blatantly exposed herself this way and Sam didn’t respond the way he would have a few short years ago.

Her camel toe was also very prominent as she worked out. Sam privately wondered if she was getting enough stimulation through the workout to actually have an orgasm as she ground against the various machines trying to entice him.

When she would join him to swim laps she initially wore a very tiny bikini until Sam asked if she had purchased that for Charlie’s benefit. From that time on she would appear next to the pool wearing a thick luxurious robe and would make sure Sam was looking as she would drop the robe and show him that she was indeed looking forward to skinny dipping.

Sam still didn’t succumb to the obvious invitation from his estranged wife. He would upset her by just ignoring her state of dress (or undress, depending on your point of view) and keep his comments bland except for the statement about her bikini.

One night he went out very late and swam laps. Deciding that Linda was either asleep or out on a date, he decided to do his own skinny dipping. By then he was down to one hundred eighty pounds and looked very lean and macho. He now had a goatee. More than a few women made sure he understood they were ready, if he was, for some midnight fun.

This particular night, though, was a balmy evening and Sam completed a good hard work out between his walk and swim. He decided to just rest on the comfortable chaise lounge. He ended up falling asleep. Sometime later he woke with the extreme pleasurable sensation of having his cock being suckled.

He knew immediately that Linda was the culprit. As he tried to move away she grabbed his hips and made sure she maintained her suction on his erection. Sam decided to not fight and just let her have her way. He was at his full seven inches when she pulled away. “Sam, I would love to eat your cum but I have needs too. I haven’t had a real orgasm in a long time, maybe longer than you. Please don’t move or throw me off.”

Sam didn’t make a move. Linda got up and straddled his hips in a reverse cowgirl position. “I would love to look at your face as we make love but I know you don’t want to look at me or even make love. Let’s just be fuck buddies, at least for a little while.” Linda said that over her shoulder as she positioned Sam’s cock at her cunt opening and settled down on it.

Soon she was humping back and forth on his cock. Occasionally she would hump up and down but it seemed she was getting the stimulation she needed from the forward and back movement more. It was enough to keep Sam stimulated but not enough to get him close to orgasm. He just laid there and allowed her to fuck herself with his cock.

She kept moving and Sam came to the conclusion that her clit wasn’t getting enough direct stimulation. She was using both her hands to keep in a tripod position with her legs spread wide around his hips as she struggled to reach her Nirvana. It took a little work but he finally got a couple of pillows behind him to raise his torso enough so he could reach around his wife’s pelvis and start to work her clit directly. He used his other hand to reach around and grasp a firm small breast and then work the nipple hard, just like Linda liked. Soon she was bucking and screeching as she came. The rapid gyrations of her hips put Sam over the edge and he added his semen to her feminine juices that were making his thighs slick.

Linda collapsed and fell back against her husband’s chest. Sam allowed it. Actually he enjoyed the scent of her hair, her body, and her excretions combined with his. He gave her a small kiss on the back of her head and cradled her for a few moments.

After a bit he realized that it was getting cooler as the night deepened. His cock had long since shrunk and had left its warm home. The fluids were cooling quickly and making them both uncomfortable.

Linda made to get up. She gave her husband a shy, almost guilty look, and went back to her apartment. She had apparently decided that any comment she might make to Sam could set back her plan to reconcile.

Sam didn’t say anything either. He got up and went inside and showered and had a good night’s sleep. He half expected to wake with Linda in bed with him. When she didn’t slip into bed with him he didn’t know if he was pleased or displeased.

Life went on again. Sam made sure to take Cinda out at least once a week, and towards the end of Cindy’s pregnancy, even kept Cinda overnight a couple of nights a week so her mother could rest. Sometimes Cinda slept in Linda’s apartment but most of the time she had her own room in Paw-Paw’s house that was full of toys and clothes.

Linda went daily to Cindy and Doug’s home to help with the housework when Cindy grew too great with child to keep up. All too soon for everyone except Cindy, she went into labor and delivered a beautiful baby boy that soon had the moniker of Douglas Samuel Welton.

Linda and Sam could now be in the same room but were still not very friendly. All conversation was limited to family matters and nothing was said about their personal wants or wishes.

There had been a couple of other trysts next to the pool over the summer. Sam postulated that Linda must have been monitoring his usage of the pool. Occasionally she would join him in doing laps but most of the time she waited to see if he would fall asleep naked on the chaise and then she would wake him with a blow job. Almost every time she would tell him that “it was just a fuck” and climb on in the reverse cowgirl position. Just like the first time, Sam would raise his torso and then work to get her off. Her orgasms were full and evidently very satisfying. Sam’s were also. He hoped she was on birth control as she might still be able to conceive and they did not need any other complications in their estranged life.

Sam never locked the connecting door from the house to the apartment. Occasionally Linda would wake him in the middle of the night for an old fashioned booty call. She would enter and keep the lights off and start to fondle his cock until he was ready and usually fully awake. Occasionally he would wake as she climbed on his erection. These nights she would face him since he could not see her expressions in the dark. She would twist and hump and rub her clit on his pubic bone and just do pelvic thrusts until she would scream and thrash about as she drove herself into orgasmic ecstasy.

Linda would rigidly keep her hands planted on her husband’s chest so that she would not collapse against him as she lost control. In the past she would not hesitate to drop onto his chest and get that loving comfort as her hips quaked in relief but that was when they were a loving couple.

Now it was just a booty call. Whenever her needs became too much she would sneak up on Sam and seduce him in his sleep.

Soon after Sam would unload his pent up semen into her still spasming pussy. As their breathing would slow to normal and the pounding in their ears became less Linda would slowly disengage from Sam’s softening cock and seem very reluctant to move to Sam’s side and rest for a period of time. Linda made sure to never touch Sam’s skin at any point as she rested for a few minutes before getting up and silently leaving the room.

Sam fully understood what was going on. Linda was lonely and wanted a renewal of their previous married life. Sam wasn’t sure about her true motive though. Was she just lonely or did she actually regret what she had done to them? Did she just want a cock and would rather not have to leave her warm bed to get it? Was she dating and the odd booty call was just between lovers or dates?

Linda never started a conversation about what she wanted or needed and Sam certainly wasn’t going to open the door to possible forgiveness until she did.

When little Doug was about six months of age Cinda was celebrating her fourth birthday. Paw-Paw and Grandma were looking forward to the birthday party but Sam had some trepidation as it was to be held again at the same venue where he had his epiphany. While he didn’t feel quite the same the nagging feelings were still present. He actually debated with himself about bringing a date, someone like Temperance or Delight, or maybe both. If he did he would at least have someone to talk to.

One afternoon, a couple of days before the birthday party, Linda was caring for her grandchildren. She invited Sam up to her apartment to share the time with the kids. It was the first time he had stepped foot into the apartment since he had contracted the work to finish the space. He was impressed. The open floorplan worked well and Linda had decorated well to complement the space.

Sam was concerned a little about how Linda would act with him in her domain but Linda made sure to make the kids the focus of the visit. They had grilled cheese sandwiches with soup. Little Doug was still getting baby food so he was easy to please but took a lot of attention. Sam was reminded of when Cindy was small and how much their lives rotated around her and her needs.

They had a very enjoyable afternoon. Mid-afternoon both kids settled down for a nap. Linda took the opportunity to sit and talk with her husband. She didn’t beat around the bush but went right at the problem. “Sam, I want to start a new relationship with you. I don’t know how long it will take or exactly how it will ultimately work out but I want us to regain a commitment to each other.”

Sam leaned back in the chair across from Linda. “How exactly do you propose to accomplish this?”

Linda smiled at her husband. She seemed pleased at his response. “I think we should move back into the house together and sleep together again. After all, we are still married.”

Sam shook his head. “I think it is by far too early to speak about moving back in together. Every time I think about you and Charlie Wink I get angry, sad, sick to my stomach and even get a headache. You betrayed my trust. You carried on with him in public and expected everyone to approve your behavior while, at the same time, treat me like a mushroom.”

Linda looked sideways at him in a quizzical way. Sam explained. “Mushrooms are kept in the dark and fed shit. Why would you now think I should just say I forgive and forget how I was treated, not only by you but by my daughter, brother, and mother?”

Linda moved off the chair and knelt by his chair. “I am not trying to minimize what I did to us and specifically to you. I have been trying everything I can think of to let you know how badly I feel about what I did and how I hurt you. I have tried to think of various strategies to demonstrate how contrite I feel but every scenario seems contrived and shallow. I have decided to just try and be the person you originally fell in love with.

I have tried to not talk about reconciliation. I hoped that you might show me that you have forgiven me but we don’t talk. We don’t share anything except the pool and the exercise room. We don’t even talk when we are at Cindy and Doug’s home together. I would like to sit and watch the kids grow up together, have meals together, sleep together, love together and actually retire and spend the rest of our lives together.”

She became tearful as she tried to speak her heart and let him know how she felt. Sam didn’t make it easy on her. The apology was hers to make. Sam felt he had nothing to ask her for forgiveness except maybe gaining too much weight while working to build the business and provide for his family.

Might that be the way to start the conversation from his side? Sam mentally shrugged his shoulders and took the chance. “Linda, I need to ask your forgiveness. Over these past few years I let my body go to pot. I got up to 210 pounds and was so out of shape that I can’t imagine in what way you could have found me attractive. I certainly didn’t feel attractive at all. I can only imagine what it must have felt like to have a fat sweaty body grunting over you. It could not have been very appealing on any level. It doesn’t excuse what you did but I can see what might have initially attracted you to Charlie.”

Linda was shaking her head in denial but Sam pressed on. “So is it the fact that Charlie left you and now I am in better physical shape the reason why you now want to return to a life of husband and wife?”

Linda started to cry openly. “Noooo, no, no, that isn’t it at all. For some strange reason I went from commiserating with Charlie about his wife’s impending death to sharing his bed and letting him become the focus of my life. I have been getting therapy since you left, yes even before Charlie found greener pastures, and we are still trying to figure out what the hell I was thinking.”

Linda blew her nose and continued. “It wasn’t because you were inattentive. You always made time for the family.” She held up her hand. “I know what you recorded at your mother’s. Why we would make fun of you and demean you and allow Cindy to say what she did about how you were never there for her is another item my therapist is scratching her head about.”

She blew her nose again and wiped the tears off. “Right now I will just claim temporary insanity. No, it wasn’t drugs or alcohol. I got a clean bill of health from my physician so it wasn’t hormones. Nothing else explains why I did what I did.”

Sam didn’t let that pass. “Sorry, I believe you decided that normal mores and values didn’t apply to you. Charlie and you developed a close relationship, one that might have been founded on his sadness and coming grief but then you allowed it to become something more. Don’t try to pass it off on temporary insanity as you were quite sane as you lied and covered up your fucking that asshole. While I supported you and your charity work you were stabbing me and our marriage in the back. On top of that it seems many people knew or suspected and were probably laughing at me. I have not delved into our expenses during that time period but I suspect you were probably paying for some of Charlie’s expenses also since he had not practiced law since before his wife died.”

She shook her head in denial before thinking back on how many times she had paid for meals and other sundry items. She hung her head in shame as she realized that she had been effectively paying Charlie to be a gigolo. Had he laughed at her naiveté? She thought not but he had not stayed long after finding out that Sam had cut her off from his fortune.

No, he had sold his old home and moved in with her. He relied on her to provide food and gasoline for his car. Yes, he had taken care of the grounds and the pool but he had also gotten all the sex he could want from Linda at the same time. Linda was feeling very dirty and used. Combined with her age of being a little over half a century old, this was a cold slap in the face. She started to cry again as she suddenly felt like an old fool. She said as much to Sam. “I am so sorry. You would have thought I was a stupid teenager, in love with the local bad boy, instead of a mature woman who had it all, a loving husband, a fantastic daughter and her family, and all the money we would ever need. No, instead I fuck the bad boy, pay for him to do so, and lose it all. I am such an old fool. How could I ask you to forgive me when I shouldn’t forgive myself?”

She squared her shoulders and stood up. “Thank you, Sam, for all the years that you loved me. You made me a better woman than I am now. Somewhere along the line I took you for granted and forgot what was important. Now, if you would please leave me so that I can start to plan my life going forward. I think my therapist is going to see this as a breakthrough.”

Sam started to protest but Linda put her hand up. “No, not now, maybe not ever. You were right to cut me out. Thank you for providing me a house and expense money for the past year. I do appreciate it. If you want a divorce I will not contest any terms you list. I have damaged your reputation and your honor. I cannot help you get those back by staying married to you. I am sincerely sorry for what I have done.” Linda turned and went into her bedroom where the kids were sleeping and shut the door.

Sam sadly left the apartment and went back to the main house. He decided to swim for a while then took a walk. While doing those activities he thought long and hard about what he wanted going forward. First and foremost he knew he wanted a loving companion that he could call friend. He wanted and needed loyalty and fidelity. Intellectually he knew that sex would become less and less an issue as he aged so he was in no hurry to find a younger woman to share his life with just because it might increase his sexual interludes.

He acknowledged to himself that he was still in love with Linda. Could his ego and pride be assuaged enough to forgive her and then work to build a new relationship? He did know that he could live without her if necessary. He could even go long periods without sex. It wasn’t quite the driving need he once had. No, now it was more having someone to share his life with. He wanted to travel part of the year and hated the thought of traveling alone. He wanted to share meals, family events, movies, plays, concerts, and all the other events that are better when shared with someone.

Would it be better to share those twilight years with Linda or work to develop a loving relationship with someone new?

Like any other weighty problem he had no answer by the time he exhausted himself. At home again he decided to call Linda. When she picked up the phone he immediately asked, “How about going out for dinner tonight? We could make an evening of it by finding a nice place to dance and talk.”

Linda seemed reluctant but finally agreed. At the appointed time Sam and Linda dropped the kids back off with Cindy and Doug and proceeded to a well-known restaurant and had a good meal. They talked while eating and seemed to be friendly to all who observed them.

After dining they went to a night spot where the music was live and not too loud. They danced together, sat and talked, danced again and again and talked in between. Linda assured Sam that Charlie had been her only lover. As she put it, “I admit I dated a few men for a couple of dates each since I kicked Charlie out, but there was no spark, no fire, so I didn’t fuck any of them. I really wanted to come back to you.”

Sam told Linda of all of his contacts with the fairer sex including his European trip with Temperance and Delight. Linda was surprised that the lesbian couple occasionally allowed a man to share their bed. She was jealous that Sam had been the one they wanted and told him so.

Sam could have used this to beat Linda up a little but he made sure he had a smile on his face as he replied to her obvious green-eyed comment. “So, you felt it was okay to have sex with Charlie, even while we were living together, but it wasn’t okay for me to have sex with two very pretty younger women after I left you?”

“I know, it is wrong for me to feel this way and I can’t explain it except to say that I am jealous of any woman setting her cap for you. Even though I treated you so poorly, I never wanted you to leave. Somehow I just felt I could have my cake and eat it too. You were mine and no one else’s.” She paused and contemplated a moment. “I suppose I felt you were always my rock, my fallback position. If my relationship with Charlie ended then I would just come back to you and carry on and you wouldn’t be any the wiser. It was a stupid and immature thought process, wasn’t it?”