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Click hereDear Husband,
I find myself writing again... even though after my last letter, I feel that it really wouldn't matter as you've never bothered to really listen to the things that my heart's been wanting to say.... But I think that sometimes, my written words are far more eloquent then my spoken words...
You said that this test that we're going through proofs that our marriage will never be able to withstand any future tests... but I felt... feel... differently... I feel that if our love was truly as strong and unbending and true.... We would have been able to withstand anything that comes our way... because we would have been united in our love to give us the strength we need... for I believe, with all my heart and soul, that true love conquers all...
But this test is different... this test is a test of how true and strong our love truly was... and what it showed me is that is was not... because this test is far different than the one before... in that first test, your heart was not with her... so, immediately.. That very night and the days following, you didn't make any effort to keep in contact with her... in fact, you totally stopped.
This time, you never did... you were relentless in your pursuit of her... keeping in contact even when she didn't show any interest... until finally, you managed to convince her once again to come to you... can you honestly say that you truly never cared for her? That your heart was not there with her? That for once, you never wished that you were single again and free to pursue her? I don't think so... you'll only be lying to yourself if you did.
You asked me to think about that criminal who did his time and then thrown back to society... and my answer is this...
For his first crime of killing someone, after he did his time and he was thrown back to society... society did forgive and embrace him... he was shown love and support by his family (this was the very first test with the very first woman)... But soon, the urge to kill again overcame him... and he killed again...
Once again, he was thrown in prison to reflect... and he said that he is repentant for what he did... and was released back to society... and society accepted him back and embraced him (this was after I first met her, the second one, and you told me that night that you'll never contact her again... and a few days after that, we did have sex... hoping to give our daughter that sibling we feel she needs)
But you see, he never truly meant what he said... it was a lie... he was not truly repentant... he only said those words to get out of having to serve time once again... Because as soon as society accepted him back, he started killing again (this was when I found out that you were still contacting her... this was when you were in overseas)
So he was thrown into a seclusion cell... a place for him to reflect once again about what he has done. A week later, he emerged from the cell and said that this time, he was truly sincere and repentant... that he will never ever kill again... that he was a changed man... so he was released from his cell and once again, society accepted him... though this time, it took a longer time for society to accept him fully... However, slowly, but surely, society accepted him (this was when a week after you returned from overseas, you moved back in and I slowly started to bring back your things... starting with your shoes, uniform and daily clothes.. then your Army things).
But the killer stuck again soon after (this was when you asked her to go overseas with you.... As you said, your one last time with her)... So what should society do? Only you have the answer...
You said that I'm selfish... always thinking of only me... but I don't think so... the fact that I've accepted you back so many times after you've stabbed me repeatedly so many times... was me not being selfish. I was thinking of our daughter... I truly wanted to make this marriage work for her sake! Were you being unselfish when you first went with her? When you continued to pursue her? Was that generosity and grace on your part after I've so readily accepted you back into my arms?
I thought that if we were intimate again... and we were... just a few days after I first met her... but sadly... you don't even remember that... I had a feeling that you were not there with me that day... that your mind was elsewhere when you were fucking me... thinking of something or someone else as you made me cum and as you came in me.... I thought that I could make you forget her and we can start to mend the bridges again... rebuild our marriage and our family with our daughter... but you don't even remember we had sex...
You, of all people, should understand what your betrayal did to me... you knew what I went through with my womanizing ex.... And you, yourself must have felt that same pain when you were betrayed by yours.... And for me, knowing what you went through, I thought that when I met you... finally, this time, I've truly met someone who'll be true... someone who understood the pain of betrayal and hence, will be faithful and true...
But ironically, despite all this... and how much you've made my world crumble when I first found out about the first one.. Then the second one... I still don't hate you.... I don't even dislike you... In fact, I feel that maybe, I love you too damn much! Both you... and your mom... was saying that maybe I brought all this upon myself for choosing a man such as you for a husband... maybe it's fate playing some cruel joke on the two of us... but I can never deny what I truly felt when I was with you.... The words of this song, When I'm With You, really reflects what I felt when I was with you... at a time, when I felt that you were also feeling the same way as me... what you felt when you were with me... but maybe the magic's gone... and you started feeling this way when you were with her...
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When I'm With You
By Sheriff
I never needed love like I need you
And I never lived for nobody, but I live for you
Oooh, babe, lost in love is what I feel when I'm with you
Maybe it's the way you touch me with the warmth of a sun
Maybe it's the way you smile, I come all undone
Oooh, babe, lost in love is that I feel when I'm with you
Baby, oh I get chills when I'm with you
Baby, my world stands still when I'm with you
When I'm with you
I never cared for nobody like I care for you
And I never wanted to share the things I want to share with you
Oooh, babe, lost in love is what I feel when I'm with you
Baby, oh I get chills when I'm with you
Baby, my world stands still when I'm with you
When I'm with you
Baby, oh I get chills when I'm with you
Baby, my world stands still when I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you...
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You feel as if I never wanted you to touch me again... but the truth is this...
You have no idea how much I ache for your touch... how my lips ache from wanting to feel your lips against mine... how my mouth wants to make slow love to yours... how I long for your taste... and how I long to taste you as I lick and suck your cock till you cum...
You have no idea how much my body aches for the feel of your hands... to feel your chest against my breasts... how my hands ache to feel you... to bring you close and never let go... how my fingers ache to run through your hair and caress the back of your neck... to run them against your body and feel your whole body heat up with need of my touch...
You have no idea how much my pussy aches for the feel of your cock... how hot and wet it gets just remembering those nights long ago when we made love so many times that the windows got all fogged up from the heat... how my pussy aches for your mouth... your tongue... your fingers.... Stroking the fires from within... burning me with need...
You have no idea how much my whole body gets all tight and aching with need.. to have you making slow sweet love to me... then having that raunchy, hot, fast and hard fucking session that you get all hot and horny over when you watch all those porn CDs and online movie clips... waiting and wondering when you'll ever do those things that you yearned to do... things that I wished you've had wanted to do with me... to me...
You have no idea just how lustful and horny I really am... just how wet and hot you made me... every... single... day... since the time we went on our first date... till this very day.... "I don't need you? And I don't want you?" You said.... Oh, my darling husband... you have no fucking idea just how much I need you! And no fucking idea what I wanted to do to you for so fucking long! You just have no fucking idea what I've been keeping inside... no fucking idea at all!
When you're willing and ready to give me your all... your heart, your soul, your mind, your devotion, your attention, your commitment, your love... your whole being.... Come home to me... I'll be there waiting... as always... I've always been here waiting for you... and this time; make sure that you live all your thoughts and dreams and lusts and desires with me... and ONLY ME! If you're really sure and sincerely want to give me all that... then come home to me. I never wanted to trap you in this marriage and I never want you to come to me half-heartedly. I'd rather live without you than live with only half of you...
Your Wife
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4 Comments
For every time there is a season
As for the style of writing it's great ! I feel the hurt,the longing,the pain of hiding anger,rejection and jellousy in exchange for the hope of not running him off conpleatly ,the despert reaching to excuse the unexcuseable in order to hang on to the familar and in the name of love.Well said HOWVER I didn't log on to feel these kinds of emotions ... You got me there now so.. TO THE WRITER:If this storys true & you're still in this state of mind WAKE UP HUN!If he loved you as you do him he'd be in your arms only.A person kills - there's a price to pay (jail) he's a cheater and you & his other(s) are the only ones paying for it. Stop holding on Like falling once you LET GO the rest comes naturally!Remember always make it clear to a man that you WILL bail if he ever cheats & be certain you mean it long before he does!!! Best to you STARnMYownshow
Wow
this is so sad, and yet so sensual. I truly feel the pain... if it is a true story and indeed your pain, I am truly sorry and hope that he comes home to you!
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