Darkness and Silence

My name is Morgan Robbins. When I first went to university, I was excited and interested in finally being let out of the nest to fly on my own. No longer did I have to suffer under the watchful eye of my parents, and I could relish in the status of being independent. I'm pretty, or so I had been told by my friends and even some brave teachers, but that alone wasn't going to get me very far in life. So, I optimistically took a major in biology and chemistry at a respectable school and prepared to surrender myself to years of study and research.

But it didn't work out like that. None of it did.

I had a significant work load on my hands, and while I did well in most of my classes, I knew I was going to fail math that term. I decided not to tell my parents about it and take a term off to recoup the payments by doubling up on work outside of school. I would graduate late, but I was certain I could convince my parents that this was the right thing to do. They would be proud of me for taking things into my own hands, wouldn't they?

Luckily for me, my roommate was pretty understanding when I told her of my plan. She agreed to front my part of the rent I would no doubt miss from student loans until I found work.

Everything was fitting into place. It wasn't going to be the disaster I thought it was.

However, I received 'no' after 'no' from every application for several weeks. It wasn't until my roommate jokingly suggested that I donate my blood three times a week that I had an idea: I had heard that experimental research subjects for human testing received a handsome sum in compensation for new and cutting edge medicine!

It was crazy, but I was getting desperate!

Sure enough, a local office called PanzarTech was looking for a test group of individuals for a confidential new product. The advertisement didn't give much else away but I made up my mind to inquire in the morning.

The next day, I showed up at PanzarTech after hitching a ride from my roommate. When she waved goodbye, she sped away back into traffic leaving me alone in the parking lot. The office building was a bit smaller than I had imagined, but it still looked rather clean. I put on a brave, if not fake, smile and opened the door. The lobby was empty save for a lone middle aged man sitting behind a counter in blue scrubs.

The entire environment looked very much like a local doctor's clinic in many ways. Clean, sterile, and furnished to look inviting and professional. I started to relax - this place was legit. Everything is going to be fine.

I approached the counter and introduced myself. I was greeted with a quick smile from the man behind the counter and a clip board with a form to fill out. "Here you are. Welcome to PanzarTech. Have your ID ready." he said.

Sitting down in one of the comfortable lobby chairs, I began to fill out the form. The first two pages were standard medical information, but the last page on the back had a hazard questionnaire. Each tier of hazard a volunteer was willing to be compensated for. Tier 1 had an offer of 10-50 dollars in compensation with a generic warning that I might feel mild discomfort in a list of ways.

Naturally, my eyes shot down to the bottom of the page and I almost gasped aloud. 50-100 thousand dollars!? I bit my bottom lip and checked each box. I was feeling brave and desperate. I sat up and handed in the keyboard which made the man behind the counter blink rapidly in response - clearly holding back some sort of comment but then shrugged. I showed him my ID and was told to wait in the lobby again.

Regret sank in during the silence. What the hell was I doing? I didn't want some weird rash or the loss of feeling in my feet for the rest of my life!

"Morgan Robbins?" a man in a white lab coat asked after walking in the room. He was holding a clip board with my information and I stood up quickly. "That's me." I replied roboticly. Best to just get this over with. I was guided down two well lit hallways into a sky-blue room with one of those high up beds you might find in a doctor's office. The door closed behind us and I sat down on the bed across from him.

"I'm Technician Nicols. Nice to meet you." my brow furrowed. I assumed he would be some sort of Doctor. We shook hands and I noticed how rough his palm was.

"Can I ask about which pill I'm taking? or is that in violation of some sort of privacy policy? What is the intended purpose for the medication?" I blurted out quickly. I wanted to know everything as soon as I could. I was very much aware of my heart pounding in my chest. This was a horrible idea.

"Of course." The doctor chuckled. He sat down on a small stool and flipped through my paperwork. "We don't get very many volunteers for tier ten so we are going to go with something on the very bleeding edge of science." I could tell already that he was trying to sell this to me to make me feel better, but my heart sank with regret when I heard 'tier ten' - the highest tier. "We're in the final stages of perfecting a live gene altering medication that you can take in an oral supplement to give same sex female couples the ability to have children of their very own." he met my eyes and gave me a warm and disarming smile.

He stared at me, watching for my response. That was it? Wait.

"Oh my god." I heard myself whispering. "A...penis?"

The technician nodded emphatically. He began to enthusiastically tell me the biological break throughs of the pill and exactly how it worked so I would understand, but I had totally zoned out. I was guaranteed the highest possible payment and would be set financially for at least a few years if I played my cards right. I was always told that I was a pretty looking girl, but I've never had a boyfriend even throughout highschool. Either my bookish nature or intimidating looks just put people off. Maybe this really wouldn't matter. I began to moralize the change to myself. To convince myself that having a penis would be totally normal. I needed the money.

Before I knew it, the huge pill was in my mouth and I was struggling to swallow it.

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I must have been asleep for at least a few hours. The room was pitch black and I was laying down. I don't even remember going to sleep, but I guess the pill must have been fast acting. Speaking of which...

I sat up in the bed which felt very much more comfortable than the one I had originally sat down in. Moving around in the dark, I could feel that they had dressed me in a hospital gown. There was a brief feeling of being violated as I imagined one of the men stripping my unconscious body, but they had probably seen enough genitals male and female to last them a life time now. My hand reached up the gown - my fingers landed on my crotch.

They were cold, but it was warm. And large. My penis...my cock. A perverted sense of exploration shot through me as I let my fingers wander around the new part of my body. A surge of pleasure shot through me, faster and more intense than playing with myself ever had. Speaking of which, my vagina was nowhere to be found. The process had completely and seamlessly replaced my vagina with a quite well endowed penis. I made sure that my body felt the same and sighed in relief when everything else was there. My curvaceous hips, the swell of my breasts, my narrow waist. I was fully a woman in every way...just a woman with a penis. How many would give to be in my position? The best of both worlds.

I sat up completely and grew a little frustrated that the technicians didn't even leave a light on for me. "...!" I asked, trying to say 'hello' but hearing nothing. "...?" I asked again. I could feel my throat working fine and the air moving through my lungs, but no sound noise came from my lips "...!?" I tried one more time as loud as I could. Nothing.

The silence was truly deafening. I knocked on the side of the wall. Perfect silence.

I was deaf.

Even though I knew the risks of the highest tier of experimental medicine, I still couldn't help but to feel outraged! They took one of my most precious gifts that I had in my entire life away from me! When I felt soft, lithe hands on my shoulders suddenly pressing down on me to keep me still, I screamed ... then froze. The lights weren't off. I was blind. Blind and deaf.

I sat back against the pillows of my bed, numb for a long time. My life flashed before my eyes as I contemplated every choice that lead me to this bed in the darkness and silence. I don't know how long I sat there, I must have been sobbing but I wasn't really sure. Tears streamed down my cheeks, that I could feel.

The hands began to try to slide away from mine but I grabbed her by the wrist. I tried to ask 'where am I!?' urgently. The hand relaxed against mine, but obviously I couldn't hear her answer. For all I know, she could have been talking to me the entire time. It was definitely a female though, I could feel her hands were as small as mine and had perfectly cut nails. A wedding ring on her left hand.

Only, I didn't remember seeing a woman at the office. And the air smelled different here. New tears welled in my eyes when I asked "Tap one for yes. Two for no." then paused "...Am I in a hospital?" an agonizing moment of nothing, followed by one tap on my open palm.

Great. PanzarTech got their results then dumped me at an emergency room. I sighed and explained the situation out loud. When I got to the part about the penis, I lowered my voice and added "Uh, one tap for private room. Two for open bay." I wanted to be sure no one else could hear the gritty details. She gave me one tap. I sighed and nodded "Okay. " the rest of the details gushed out and I found myself waiting for her response but of course she didn't have any.

"But of course you would know that seeing as I'm in this gown now." she responded by giving my palm one tap. She must have been the nurse that undressed me. I must have started to blush pretty bad because I felt a reassuring pat on my back from her other hand for just a moment. I nodded "Thanks. How long am I going to be here? One tap for short time, two for long time." she went away after that and I was left feeling vulnerable and abandoned. Then I felt her open my hand and tap twice. This was going to be a long stay, and I suppose that made sense. I'd need help doing everything.

Over that day, we discovered that the yes/no tap system worked well for pretty much every conversation. It was time consuming, but that was the one thing I had now.

I started to call her "Cindy" on day two. She didn't really have a way to tell me her real name but when I felt the familiar hands and smelled her, I asked if she would watch over me exclusively from then on. After that request, there was an agonizingly long time away from Cindy's hands. I didn't know how much I needed communication and input until I was totally alone again. She returned with one tap on my open palm and I cheered. Probably pretty loud because I felt her finger pressed gently against my lips like the "Shh" sign. I laughed.

Having Cindy be my personal aid made me relax a bit more. I did need constant help, but feeling strange hands intermittently with Cindy's familiar hands reminded me just how little privacy I had. Besides, Cindy understood our language better than anyone.

On the fourth day in the hospital, I asked Cindy if she had talked to my parents. She replied with one tap. Yes. I asked if they were here now: two taps. No. Thank god. At least they knew I was okay but I wasn't ready to confront them about what I had done to myself. The only person I really felt I could tell the whole story to was Cindy. I probably really was abusing her time with how much I talked to her. Now that I couldn't hear myself or see anyone's reactions, I was like an open and endless book.

But when I was feeling a little self conscious, I reached up to make sure she wasn't hearing headphones to ignore me. I didn't ask permission in order to verify the truth for myself. My fingers touched her bare ears. She was actually listening. I felt her hand pat my back again in reassurance when I sighed. She must have seen my reaction and knew how much I valued company. But my fingers remained on her ears, then came around to her face.

I had seen blind people 'read' the faces of people by feeling their features on TV and in movies, but it didn't really seem effective to me. But when I passed my delicate fingers over her face, I was able to paint a picture in my mind with ease. She had shoulder length hair and warm skin. A curvy button nose that arched out just slightly. Her well trimmed eyebrows told me that she cared about her appearance. I passed over her high cheek bones and then over her plush full lips. Then to her narrow chin. She was beautiful.

A strange and foreign feeling filled my heart when I realized what she might look like. It wasn't all of a sudden, but it had been building ever since I was given my testicles: an attraction to the idea of the female. I realized I hadn't just enjoyed her company, I had relished it to be in the presence of a woman giving me attention. I had been straight all of my life, but my new equipment was working better than expected.

I didn't know what to do with this revelation. I supposed it was a natural and intended side effect from the medication.

Cindy's hands hadn't moved an inch since I started touching her face. They rested placidly on my gown covered knee to let me know she was still there even if I was touching her face. Her whole body was still. In my mind, I convinced myself this was an invitation or hesitation on her part. All I knew was that we were alone and she wasn't moving.

My hands slid down her chin and down her neck, still exploring her body. I felt the shape and width of her shoulders, the slope of her back. Cindy was as still as a statue the entire time. I couldn't tell if she was crying for help or not moving to encourage me.

Then I inhaled sharply to bite the bullet and let my hands slide over her chest. It seemed as curious and innocuous as before, simple exploring which I was shocked she allowed. Her breasts were perfect, likely slightly larger than my own which were already quite impressive. I lifted them and squeezed - kneading them in my hands. It lasted just as soon as it began, all within a matter of seconds. A swift and hard slap to my face made me recoil in pain and shame. I sank back against my pillows, confused about my new sexuality and afraid I had lost the only companion in the world I had.

I felt sorry for myself for a while and was left alone the entire night. Sleep took me and I wondered if I would ever feel from Cindy again.

It had been a full week that morning. Every morning I had secretly woken with an almost painful aching of lust between my shapely legs. I assumed morning wood was just a myth until it plagued me every morning. Luckily, I was able to adopt a breathing exercise before breakfast to make it go down to hide the no doubt huge tent I was pitching every morning. This morning was no different, but I wouldn't dare try to 'relieve' my new problem in fear of being caught. Now I knew and appreciated why men so quickly sought partners. They needed it. Just like I needed it.

I spread my legs and sighed, wondering how silly I must have looked. One of the most eligible bachelorettes in my small town, to...this. I felt a "Good morning" tap on my hand nearest the door. It was Cindy. She actually didn't request to be transferred to a different patient. I would have been touched, but I was frozen in fear for what I knew Cindy surely had to see pitched between my legs making my hospital gown stand up.

Normally, I was a flood of questions and conversation but my silence was telling. I had been caught and I knew it. But there wasn't any prompt from Cindy so far like usual, not even a little poke on the shoulder. I knew my eyes were open so she must have known I was awake and shocked.

I opened my mouth to come up with a lame excuse when I felt my hospital gown ruffle around the lower half of my legs. I felt the lower half of my gown against my face and a bare chill of air on my lower half. Cindy was looking at my penis. My cock. It was still harder than ever and nodding in neglected aching need. My knees were pointed outward - still frozen in fear. But the body wants what it wants, and my fuck meat still proudly pointed towards the ceiling.

I opened my mouth to come up with a lame excuse for it 'acting up' when I felt Cindy's fingers close around the base of my cock. For a split second I didn't breath. Was she checking for defects? No. Cindy began quickly pumping her closed hand up and down the fleshy tower of my girly pole rapidly. Intense primal pleasure shot through my entire being and my cock flexed hard against her hand. I must have moaned because Cindy stopped to push her finger against my lips to give me the "shhh" sign. I nodded dimly and encouraged her back into position with the pat of my foot on her bottom.

Nothing happened for a while. I almost wondered aloud if she left when I felt soft warm lips close around the crown of my cock. Tight yet smooth and moist. Her tongue soon followed and circled around the tip of my cock which I discovered was uncut. of course it would be. She toyed with my tip and massaged my balls expertly until I arched my back involuntarily. Then she plunged her head down all the way to the base.

Cindy must be some kind of closeted cock slut at home or at least trained and practiced on dildos, because she engulfed my throbbing thick dick in one pass, nuzzling her nose against my crotch and even licking my balls. I didn't know how long my cock was but above average was certain. I was surprised at the weight and feel of it in my fingers - it made my want to ask Cindy to measure it sometime.

Tearing me from my thoughts, Cindy began to bob her head up and down my pole again and again, never breaking pace. She went all the way up to the tip until it almost left her lips and then slammed back down again, all the while sucking hard and letting her tongue explore like a tentacle around my shaft. I couldn't help but to swing my legs around her back which is when I discovered that she had removed her clothing. Bringing my legs up made my thighs meet with her jiggling breasts. Her nipples poking gently against my skin. I couldn't stifle a groan. My feet felt the curve of her back and rested on her bare ass. It was apple bottomed but firm.

When I started thrusting my hips up out of instinct, she finally pulled away from my cock. I could feel her taking a moment to regain her breath while I used my feet to play with her breasts. Then there was a strange shift in weight on the bed. She was climbing on! I sat up and lifted my hospital gown completely over my head. We were both naked now.

I felt Cindy squat over me. Then she leaned forward, making her breasts land on my own. I wrapped my arms around her naked back and our lips met. For some reason, I decided this was when I crossed the line. Not the blow job, but the moment when our lips locked and our tongues shot into each others mouths, dancing and lashing like serpents.

The moment our tongues touched for the first time, Cindy sat down. She made my entire length disappear inside of her. She was tighter than her closed fist clenching put her warm insides were so wet with want and my hard rod was so slippery with her saliva that I slipped in instantly.

I couldn't control myself from that moment forward. My hands clapped against her perfect ass cheeks and gripped them as I began humping my rod up and down over and over again as fast as I could. I was surprised at how much endurance I had - my body had a mind of it's own and didn't seem to want to get tired. I felt the weight of Cindy bouncing her ass on me. I gave her a spanking. I was sure we had already made enough noise to draw suspicion, but Cindy must have chosen to come early for that reason.