Cuckolding - Fantasy vs. Reality

When you look at cuckold porn, you will see mostly fantasy. Most people, unless they are in a cuckold type relationship, have no idea what a real cuckold relationship looks like.

Sadly, people seem to think that cuckolding is something new. It's not. Wife sharing has been going on for centuries. And that's what cuckolding is, essentially. We are taught at a young age that sharing is essential. But if that is the case, why doesn't that same sharing attitude carry forward to wife sharing?

I believe that most of the bad associated with cuckolding comes from fragile male egos, religious upbringing, and ignorance.

If a husband gets the most sexual pleasure from seeing his wife have sex with another man or other men, what's the big deal? And if a wife truly enjoys sex with other men, with her husband's support and encouragement, why should you care?

It is most often men who hold tight to what they believe other men should and shouldn't do. They see certain things as masculine and other things as feminine, and no man should ever be feminine. Other men see a man giving away his masculinity as weak. This something that many men hold dear. And that is the basis of so much hate and criticism of and about cuckolding.

Cuckolding, in the beginning, was something closely tied to shame. The husband couldn't control or satisfy his wife. Today, cuckolding is not regarded with shame as much as it is regarded as shameful. And there is a difference. Many men want to be cuckolded. Could this be because they want to be shamed? I don't think so.

In fantasy, it is usually the husband who looks bad. He can't sexually please his wife, so another man or other men are needed to fulfill his wife for him, because he can't.

In reality, it is often the husband who does all the contacting of the lovers. The husband chooses the men he wants to see his wife with. And the other men have to fit a certain criteria. In reality, cuckolding is more about pleasing the husband than about pleasing the wife.

Too often, the theme of humiliation is connected to cuckolding. And that is way off the mark. Typically, in a cuckold situation, as far as most people know, the other man or men often have a larger cock than the husband does. And this is supposed to be humiliating to the husband because his wife enjoys the larger cocks. If humiliation were to be a true factor in real cuckolding, it would be even more humiliating if the wife enjoyed sex with a man who has a smaller penis.

Rarely do we ever hear of a woman leaving her husband because the other man had a smaller penis. And even in fiction, be it written or on film, a smaller penis man is rarely, if ever, the one women are seeking out.

How can humiliation be a factor if the husband chooses the men? If the husband chooses a lover that he wants his wife to have sex with, and the lover happens to have a larger cock and his wife enjoys sex with the lover, isn't that a win for all involved?

One way to look at this is comparing two husbands. The first husband buys his wife a vacuum for their anniversary. The second husband brings home a studly, young man to have sex with her. Which wife do you think is going to be the happiest?

The first husband is seen as uncaring and possibly stupid. The second husband can be seen as a superstar because he brought his wife something that both she and he can and will enjoy.

It could be argued that the second husband is stupid, as well, because by bringing another man home to have sex with his wife, he is possibly putting his marriage in jeopardy. Yet, that would be a rare occurrence.

What must be considered is that in most non-monogamous relationships, communication is essential and paramount. If a couple hadn't previously discussed the husband bringing a man or other men home to have sex with the wife, then you'd have an issue. But, since most all non-monogamous couples talk and discuss at length about their wants and desires, this would not be un unwelcomed surprise.

In fantasy, cuckolds often wear chastity devices. In reality, there are men who enjoy wearing chastity devices, but not because their wife wants them to. A good number of men that wear chastity devices do so because it's a turn on to them. It fulfills them in some way, often sexually, not their wife.

True cuckolding is something that a couple does together and for each other. In fantasy, the cuckold is denied sex and the wife instead enjoys other men.

In fantasy, the cuckold is seen as weak. He fears his wife and is intimidated by her lovers. In reality, it is often the wife who fears that having sex with other men will have a negative effect on her marriage.

Many wannabe cuckolds will ask how they can get their wife to cuckold them. And the answer is to first communicate your desires to your wife. This is where it all begins, with communication. The second part of the answer is that to get your wife to have sex with other men, she has to trust you, and trust that having sex with other men won't ruin the marriage.

If you were to ask wives that cuckold their husbands, many would tell you that they wouldn't do it if their marriage wasn't strong enough. Most wives that cuckold their husband will only do so when their marriage is good, better than good. Cuckolding has never been and never will be a good thing for a couple that has a failing relationship.

In real cuckolding, it is most often the wife that is afraid of losing her husband, not the other way around. You have to remember that most men that consider themselves bulls are not normally men that women want a full relationship with. Usually bulls are good for one thing-sex.

Bulls are not known for wanting to experience a full relationship with a woman they just want to fuck. And most wives are not looking for someone else that they will have to take care of. A good number of bulls are possessive, arrogant, and often self-centered.

A wife that cuckolds her husband knows that her husband can leave her at any time. This is why so many women are reluctant to have sex with other men, even when their husband begs them to. This is also why there are so many wannabes.

In fantasy, the husband has no control over the situation. In reality, a cuckold holds all the cards. More often than not, the cuckold is highly intelligent, well-read, and financially secure. Although some bulls are more than financially secure, most are not. If a wife were to have her husband leave her, she might get half of his stuff, but the husband would probably see it as worth it to just get rid of the wife.

It must be remembered that a bull has sex with other men's wives. And wives know this. They know that if they were to leave their happy home and go with a bull, they would be living with a man who would not, or would rarely be faithful to them.

In fantasy, wives don't seem to care what their husband does, as long as they have their lover(s). In reality, women tend to be more jealous than men are. Leaving their husband to live with a lover might work in the short term, but never in the long term. She'd get jealous and the bull would tell her to leave, too.

In reality, a cuckold husband is a safe husband. Considering that a majority of cuckold men are compersive, they put their wife's needs above their own. A wife is not going to find this same kind of personality in any bull. His needs are going to be just as important, if not more so, than hers. And there'd be a good chance that her freedom to do what she wants would be lessened if a wife were to leave her cuckold husband.

Contrary to popular belief, not all cuckold men have small penises or have trouble sexually pleasing their wife. More often, cuckold husbands have average or above average size penises and can please their wife, but they want to see her pleased. They want to be a spectator. And more often than not, many cuckold wives say that they have the best sex with their husbands after they have sex with another man or other men.

In fantasy, cuckolds are little dick wimps. In reality, many cuckolds can't fit into a chastity device because they are either too long or too thick to fit in one. And just like women, cuckold men sometimes just want to give up some control for a time.

If it were true that all cuckold men were wimps, then there would never be a possibility that the wife could trust her husband to protect her if there was ever a need to. No wife wants to be in a position where another man has total sexual control over her and no one to protect her if something were to go wrong.

Trust in a real cuckold relationship is more than just trusting that one will remain faithful and the other won't leave. It goes much further than that. The trust encompasses the relationship, both of their wants, needs and desires, trust that no one is going to get hurt, and if something does go wrong that they will be dealt with as a couple.

In fantasy, the wife couldn't care less how the husband feels or what he thinks. In reality, the cuckolding wife will often stop having sex with other men if her husband is no longer excited by it, or if he becomes jealous to the point that it causes problems in their relationship.

In fantasy, the cuckold is cheated on and he has no control over what happens. In reality, the cuckold is a man who has thought long and hard about his desires and what it could mean for him and his wife and their relationship. The cuckold had thought through what he was going to say and how he would answer his wife's questions. This was not something the cuckold did flippantly.

In reality, a cuckold builds trust in his relationship and trusts his wife not to judge him because of his wants, needs or desires. He knows his wife and he knows himself, and he knows that to bring up something like cuckolding would be something they could talk about, even if the actual cuckolding never came to fruition.

In fantasy, cuckolding is something that happens to the cuckolded male. In reality, cuckolding is something that the couple has discussed and role-played beforehand. It is something they have talked about at length. They have talked through several scenarios. They have safe words. They both know that this is for fun, and for the both of them.

In fantasy, the wife abuses and humiliates her husband, and she enjoys doing it. In reality, the wife of a cuckold doesn't want to humiliate her husband, and if she does humiliate him, it is preplanned and agreed upon by both her and her husband.

In reality the wife that cuckolds her husband loves her husband. She more than likely got into cuckolding at her husband's request. And she didn't decide to cuckold him immediately. She, the wife, had to work through a lot, herself. She had to think about the consequences. She had to get past her religious and/or social conditioning. She had to do what she never thought she would or could ever do.

Some people say that there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. When it comes to cuckolding, that line is a wide as the Grand Canyon.