Craving Ch. 03

Authors Note:

This story is a work of fiction and depicts a sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If this offends you, read no further.

I would like to thank everyone who read the previous parts of this story. The comments and emails have been greatly appreciated. Your support and encouragement has meant more to me than I can put into words. Please feel free to continue posting and emailing your thoughts.

A special thanks to germanchocolate4u for your inspiration and patience. Thank you. XxXx

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The exams had been a blur of textbooks, tension and avoidance. I had spent most of my time in my car and hadn't seen Renee since the encounter in my bedroom. Being in our apartment was a feat I could not face. The memories were everywhere and in everything; every sight, every colour, every item of furniture, every smell and every texture. Some nights I would stand outside the apartment door, keys in hand, knowing she would be on the other side and find myself unable to lift the key. There were nights that I would sleep in my car and wait until I knew she had left before going in to shower and grab some clean clothes.

Fortunately I had been accepted for a summer internship at a pharmaceutical company in New York. I was five weeks in to my internship and concentration was harder to come by than ever. I couldn't work, couldn't think, couldn't sit still for any significant length of time. The hotel room that had been booked for me, at times, felt like a prison cell. Not even sleep offered any respite. My dreams would flood with vivid imagery and wake me with intense sensation. I would find myself confused, flustered and drenched with perspiration. I felt like I would soon lose myself, lose control. Pictures would flash through my mind at the most inappropriate of moments and I would catch a whiff of the distinctive scent just walking through the streets. I was being suffocated by my own need and was utterly helpless to stop it.

Some days the need would chase me like a rabid dog, making me push my body so hard that it would eventually crumble to its knees to purge itself of the overwhelming urgency. An urgency which had me thrown from my comfort zone and drove me to pay visits to a couple of the local girl bars. Both visits followed a similar pattern; I would arrive at the location and have to force myself to step inside. I would pause in the entrance to take in the scenery and allow the electric charge flooding my senses to dissipate enough for me to conduct myself in a sane manner. I would occupy a seat, at the end of the bar, which would permit me to survey the room and its occupants from a safe position.

On my first attempt, my attention was caught by a tall, slim beauty with naturally medium brown hair which extended to the curve of her spine. Her face was narrow with a long jaw line and her eyes were a deep brown. She was dressed in white denim mini-shorts and a light pink crop top, an ensemble that leant her a cheerful countenance. When she noticed my attentions she began to play with the rim of her glass, containing a cocktail of some sort, and her eyes often drifted toward me only to shyly dart away. Her courage slowly grew, fuelled by her drink I imagined, to the point where she was able to hold my gaze and smile at me. A smile which made my blood run cold. Her smile was the picture of innocence. It was too innocent. Innocence is something that has never been safe in my hands no matter how delicately it was held. I tried to subtly avoid making eye contact with her again. When she slipped away to the restroom, the door had barely closed behind her when I was downing the remainder of my second glass of wine and bolting for the exit.

The second attempt began and ended in much the same way. The woman, however, was a petit blonde with a deep tan who wore tight jeans and a tank top with an open back. Her smile was the farthest thing from innocent, she had the air of a woman who knew what she wanted and was going to enjoy getting it. The moment that made me run came when she gave me a confident smirk with desire filled eyes. In that moment my mind was bombarded with images of Renee that gave no reprieve. So once again when she made for the restroom, I made for the exit. By the time the fresh air hit my nostrils I was hyperventilating. It caused me to remove my shoes and run as fast as I could through the dimly lit streets, bumping into person after person and wearing the skin off the bottoms of my feet.

Fortunately I was able to throw myself into my intern work during the days which helped to stifle my suffocating thoughts. I was constantly surrounded by older men who had been in the industry for years. Most were polite and extremely helpful, others were somewhat misogynistic and made no effort to conceal it. I was, however, grateful for their incessant snide remarks and the numerous miniscule tasks they sent my way. It was a welcomed distraction.

The brass doorhandle creaked as I pushed it down. The door swung open and my nose was immediately harassed by the stale air of the records' room. It was hardly ever used. The door was only ever open long enough for the latest reports to be chucked onto the shelves and the occasional inspector would use the records during an inquiry. The tiles were big and had an egg-shell colour. The shelves were made of an unvarnished and flimsy yellowwood. The room was surprisingly big and gave the feel of an old school library, rows upon rows of shelves. Filling the shelves was a cascade of ring binder files. There were green ones, blue ones, black ones, maroon ones, striped files and chequered files. Files made of plastic, files made of leather and some made of cardboard. Unlike a library though, there was no discernable filing system. I perused the rows of files in the light of the setting sun that poured through the large windows, lending the dusky room a golden glow.

At the end of the second row I paused to look out at the city scape. The view left something to be desired but I imagined the picture was quite different at night. I lingered a moment to take it in. I thought I could smell something in that section of the room. It smelled... light, sweet and perhaps a little fruity. While I concentrated on identifying the scent a soft sniff startled me. I inched my head around the corner of the row. Lana, the only other woman in my department was leaning against the end of the shelves.

She was gazing out the window at, what seemed like, everything and nothing. Her green eyes shone a spectacular shade of yellow in the sunlight. Her arms were crossed over her midsection and her left hand caressed her right arm. She swallowed hard and blinked a few times. The royal blue blouse she was wearing looked perfect on her, tucked neatly into her black pencil skirt at the waist. The skirt ended just below her knees making her legs seem never-ending. My heart beat grew heavy in my chest. The sadness in her eyes was captivating. On occasion, during the morning interdepartmental meetings I had noticed the same forlorn expression on her face. Her eyes would flit from one barren point in the room to another as though she were a prisoner in her own thoughts.

When she spoke she had a bubbly personality and I thought it a nearly flawless disguise. Her eyes betrayed her. It was her eyes that in a millisecond of distraction would reveal a caged presence in her. I wanted to understand it, understand her. I wanted to touch her and watch the sadness fade away. I wondered if it would fade away. I wanted to find out. Her legs shifted beneath her skirt as she shifted her weight to her left leg, her right knee bending against the bottom of the skirt. I felt my right hand twitch as my eyes travelled up her thighs. Her chest rose as she inhaled deeply and her head fell backwards, resting against the wooden shelf, as she sighed loudly.

I suddenly felt a mixture of guilt and excitement, as though I were impinging on a private moment like a peeping-Tom. I swallowed my thoughts and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Lana?" my voice was low and noticeably shaky. She gasped in surprise and jumped to her left, clasping her chest as she realised it was me.

"Oh god, you scared the shit out of me." She exclaimed with wide eyes. She began to giggle, her left hand still holding her chest and her right moving to conceal her mouth. Her eyes were closed.

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to startle you. I didn't think anyone would be in here." I explained, trying to subdue the smile at the corners of my mouth but it was futile. Her giggle was infectious. Her eyes opened to meet mine and my stomach fluttered, making me look away nervously.

"No, don't apologise. I just didn't hear you come in." She said with a wave of her hand and taking a step forward. I hesitated but decided to press my luck.

"Yeah, you looked like you were miles away." I said as non-confrontationally as I could. She smiled at me but her backwards step and downward cast eyes spoke volumes. I wondered what she was thinking. She glanced at the delicate golden watch wrapped around her wrist and looked up at me again.

"Hey, it's after five already. Shouldn't you be on your way home?" She smiled hollowly.

"Shouldn't you?" I asked, holding her eye contact. Her eyebrows rose high on her forehead as she turned sideways to look out the window. I watched her fidget with her wedding ring and finally understood.

"I guess you're right." She offered. I studied her face but she wasn't giving anything away. She looked down at the floor before turning to me abruptly, "What did you come in here for, anyway?"

"Oh, Grant wanted me to take a look at the shutdown budgets for the last three years. He said they'd be in here." She relaxed at my explanation, back in her comfort zone.

"Right, right. Upper management has been asking a lot of questions about that lately." She turned around and began to walk away from me. Three rows down she turned into the row and beckoned me to follow. "They want to know why the budget has been increasing so much each year. I guess that's what Grant wants you to do. Help get them off his back." She turned to smile at me as the last part was said. Her smile was hypnotic. As were the movements of her hips, swaying back and forth like a hypnotist's pocket watch as she walked. Her skirt was tight enough to give an excellent idea of what was hidden beneath it. Her calf muscles contracted and relaxed underneath her flawless, tanned skin. The heels helped, no doubt.

She was the epitome of the perfect hourglass shape and the swell of her luscious derrière was no exception. I began to imagine what exactly she would look like if the skirt were to evaporate from her skin. I matched the tone of her skin to the curves but then wondered if there would be tan lines. I wondered if her undergarments would match the sexy-professional style of her outfit or if they would be a surprise. I pictured her walking in every type my imagination could call upon; lacy boy-shorts, normal cotton briefs, a silky thong or none at all. My mouth flooded with its own waters and my breathing deepened. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. I was so transfixed that I hadn't realised she had stopped walking and was looking at me.

"Lia?" She said loudly, pulling my attention to her smiling face. For a fleeting moment I thought I saw a flicker of mischievousness in her eyes but I looked away as my face burned with embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry." I offered breathlessly, feeling my cheeks redden more by the second and cursed my pale complexion. She giggled and it only made things worse.

"So, as I was asking, do you want this years' budget too?" She was shuffling through the files looking for the right ones to give me.

"Uh... um... yes." I stuttered, I still couldn't look at her and my eyes darted across the tiles while I tucked my hair behind my ears. Her calf muscles strained as she stood on her toes for a better view.

"Ah, here they are." She exclaimed as she pulled a file from the shelf. Her left arm extended as she handed it to me. The action repeated itself as she handed me the other two files I needed. "There you go." Her voice was as sweet as honey as she placed the last one in my hands. She flashed me that hollow smile again.

"Thank you." I said, only looking at her for a fraction of a second. I hugged the files to my chest as I moved around her. Her body turned with me and my stomach sank as I moved past her. With my eyes fixed on the ground, I continued to walk away but my legs got heavier with each step until I simply couldn't lift them anymore. I tried in vain to resist what my body wanted me to do. I turned around and she was looking at me, her arms crossed. "Lana... I don't mean to be... nosy, but are you alright?" Her smile faded and she looked to the ground again as she twisted her wedding ring on her finger.

"I'm fine." I wasn't convinced at all. I held her gaze and waited. She began to fidget and shift her weight from side to side. She tried to avoid my eyes and quickly became flustered. Her eyes became glossy and her smile flinched. "Stop looking at me like that." Her voice quivered.

"Like what?" I persisted coolly.

"Like you can see right through me." A single tear raced down her cheeks and she quickly wiped it away before looking up and clearing her throat. I cautiously took two steps forward and waited to see if she would stop me. She didn't so I took two more steps, my heart racing. I was fighting the urge to fold her into my arms and shower her cheeks with kisses. I suppose I'm a sucker for a woman in tears.

"Is it your kids?" I asked, knowing full well that it wasn't. She gave a small smile.

"No. No, they're fine. They're perfect." That smile was too brilliant to be faked. It was almost enough to stop me from asking my next question.

"Your husband?" My voice was low but firm. Her eyes teared up again and she folded her arms across her chest, her fingers moving beneath her arm and I assumed she was toying with the ring again. She suddenly began to laugh again and my confused eyes shot to hers.

"Sneaky. It almost worked." Her head was shaking softly from side to side. I was determined to maintain my innocence.

"What almost worked?"

"Asking about my kids first to throw me off. You knew it was about him all along, didn't you?" Her head tilted to the right. I smiled toward the ground, I had been found out.

"I was trying to be subtle."

"I take it that's not your strong suit?" She was trying to muffle a laugh. I couldn't help but smile.

"Apparently not." She erupted in laughter and tears cascaded down her cheeks. I laughed along until the moment I realised those tears were no longer born of laughter. It took her a few seconds to realise that her façade had been broken through. Her hands shot upwards to envelope her face and her body racked with sobs. I quickly placed the files on a dusty shelf and closed the distance between us. I wrapped my arms around her jerking body and held her tightly. Despite her four inch heels making her a couple of inches taller than me, I was able to hold her with her forehead resting on my shoulder. I softly ran my hands across her upper back to comfort her, her hands still hid her face. Her sobs eventually began to subside and she pushed lightly against my shoulder until I let her go. She took two steps backwards and wiped below her eyes to remove the smudges of her running eyeliner.

"I'm sorry." She offered trying to reabsorb the last few tears that threatened to fall.

"Please don't apologise." Lana smiled and sniffed deeply, shaking her head. She paused.

"I just thought I had it all figured out." Her supply of tears was replenished. I watched her face contort as she relived the endings of her once happy memories. She looked at me and gave up on trying to be concerned with her makeup. The green ring around the pupils of her eyes shone more prominently over the brown. "When I left college, everything seemed so perfect. I got a great job straight away, I was engaged to a man I loved, we were planning our first international trip together. It was perfect. And then I fell pregnant with the twins, we were so happy. At first. After the first trimester, the cracks started to show. I just put it down to the stress of the pregnancy putting a strain on our relationship. I told myself it would get better. But it didn't." Lana slumped back against the shelves and I prepared myself for the rest of the story.

"We started talking less and fighting more. I would spend so many nights alone with the kids when he would take off after an argument and eventually I just stopped caring. I stopped caring if he left. I stopped caring if he didn't come back. I didn't care when we stopped talking to each other. I didn't even care when we stopped fighting." She took a breath and wiped her cheeks again. She looked at her hand and slid the ring off and on to her finger a few times.

"Whatever else happened though, he's a good father. He's always there for them. He's protective and supportive, he's involved and proud. He's a good father. Lately I've just been wondering, wondering if what I ever thought we had was actually there. The more I think about it, the more aware I become that this life isn't what I want. Don't get me wrong, I have my children and I wouldn't trade them for anything. They are absolutely the joy of my life." She smiled at this.

"I'm happy with my job. I enjoy what I do, the hours are perfect, the people pleasant enough." Her smile faded and sadness filled her face again. "I just want... I want... I wish I knew what I wanted. I just want... Something, anything... Anything to make... Make me feel..."

"Whole." Her eyes snapped to meet mine as though she suddenly remembered I was there. Her face melted into a restrained smile.

"Yeah." She gave a small chuckle and wiped at her eyes again. I stared through her for a while as I contemplated all she had told me. My attention was refocused on her suddenly approaching form. She lunged towards me, her face was soft, her eyes wide and cemented to mine. Her body struck mine with such momentum that I was hurled backwards into the shelf behind me. Her body pressing firmly against mine, her hands landed on my cheeks and held them fast as her lips descended to devastate mine with feral passion. In an instant I was rendered breathless and my heart was pounding in my throat. I forced my head to my right until her lips were pulled towards my cheek and my hands closed around her wrists.

"Lana, what are you doing?" My voice was a strained whisper.

"SShh..." Her left hand turned my face back to her and her lips devoured mine again. Their fullness and softness made it harder to resist her with each second that they were in contact with mine. Her right hand was lowered to firmly take hold of my breast as her hips jolted against mine and made the shelf wobble on its flimsy base. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as her celestial lips coaxed mine apart and her tongue grazed against the tip of my own. I had to stop.

"Lana!" I pushed against her shoulders putting some space between our chests. I was excruciatingly aware of her hips as they remained pressed against mine. I looked her in the eyes and held her defiant shoulders as they opposed my objection. When she focused on me, I began to slowly shake my head. While holding my gaze her hands slid behind her and the sound of a zipper being opened pierced the warming air. I found myself teeming with dread and fighting it with lust.

"Sshh!" Her hands came forward again and grasped my left hand, violently pulling it forward and guiding it smoothly under the fabric of her skirt and inside the lace that it concealed. She steered my fingers over the bristles of hair and pressed them between the plump, smooth folds. The game was won.