Correcting a Mistake

The romance in this story is fabricated, however, the sob story in the beginning is not. I have changed names, but everything up to the point of meeting "Sarah" in the student union building is true. If you have any advice as to how to fix my mistake, or how to get over it, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

"Jesse"

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I was walking to class, just like any other Monday. It was chilly, the first snow of the season laying on the ground. I couldn't wait to get inside. Not that I was looking forward to Statistics, not by any means, but at least it would be warmer. That's when I saw her. She was on her way into the student union building. I hadn't seen much of her since we both transferred to the main campus. We used to see more of each other, back when we were at the smaller branch campus. Those were the good days.

Our first(and only)date was last April. I was as nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving as I went in to pick her up. She had been giving me signals all semester. Giggling when I spoke, random hugs for no reason. At first I shrugged it off. I figured I was making something out of nothing, but then I saw her at a GSA(Gay-Straight Alliance)meeting, and all my theories were confirmed. It took a while, but finally I worked up enough courage to ask her to dinner. Not the most original I know, but what can I say. She agreed and we made plans. I walked into the lobby of our only dorm building to wait, as jumpy as a jackrabbit.

She walked into the room, and my nervousness doubled. We walked to my car, a 20 year old Chevy Lumina. Like an omen, when I started to pull out of the parking lot, it stalled. Damn! Why couldn't I own some luxury model or sports car, something more reliable or more alluring. It took a couple of tries, but finally we made it out. For the remainder of the evening, I babbled like a moron. I was just so nervous! I'd never been so nervous in my life. But it's always been like that with her. Even before I noticed she was interested. I guess my body was telling me something my conscious mind couldn't. Anyway, dinner passed and she showed no sign of boredom at my rambling. When we went to leave that parking lot, of course my old Chevy stalled again, but we made it. We drove back to the campus and I got even more nervous. What about a goodnight kiss! Do I have courage enough for that? When I pulled up in front of the dorms, the answer to that question was no. I put my right arm onto the steering wheel to block her out and didn't even look at her when I said goodnight. I felt like such a heel. There's no other word for it.

For the rest of the semester I tried to reconcile myself. But I kept on chickening out. Anytime we were alone, I tried to work up the courage for a kiss. That way she'd know how I felt. But I couldn't do it. By the end of the semester, I still hadn't fixed my mistake. Before the end of the summer, I saw on Facebook she had started seeing some guy. She was pretty crazy about him judging by her posts. Well that was it. No chance for me now.

Since we started school I've seen her maybe two or three times. It helps some with my regrets, not seeing her face, but I still see her posts online. Going on about her boyfriend and how in-love she is. It still hurts. It's my own damn fault and I know it. If I could go back in time I'd give her a better evening. I'd have given her the proper goodnight kiss. But I'll never have the chance. Or so I thought.

Back to the present. She was just walking into the building when I caught sight of her face. She was upset. As much as it hurt to be around her, she was hurting too. I had to see if she was okay. I still had time before class. I walked in after her.

"Sarah." I called to her. She turned. She was definitely upset.

"Jesse." I walked over to where she stood.

"What's wrong?" She was fighting tears, I could see it.

"It's nothing." I wonder why she'd hold back from me. We were still friends.

I wiped away a tear that escaped. "Doesn't look like nothing." I spoke softly. What could have upset her so much, something she didn't want to talk to me about.

"It's Rick." Ahh, now I understand. Her loser of a boyfriend.

"Let's sit. Tell me what happened."

We sat and she told me all about how her cousin called. She told Sarah all about how she'd seen him with another girl. She was crying freely when she finished.

"I guess he found someone he likes better. Someone who's prettier." She wiped her eyes.

"Now you listen to me." I spoke soft and stern. "That guy's a loser. He doesn't deserve you. You can do so much better. You are a beautiful catch and I don't want you or anyone else saying otherwise, you understand me."

She laughed a little laugh. "Thanks. It was nice to talk to someone."

"Sure thing, doll." I realized my class started in 10 minutes. "I have to get to class, but I'll call you when I'm done. We can talk some more."

"Okay."

Class passed by slowly. I called as soon as I left the building. She was in her room and said to meet her outside her building. I wasn't nervous now as I met her there. All that filled my mind now was concern, and a lot of resentment for Rick.

We sat on her bed and talked some more. She explained that he wasn't a very good boyfriend. He was always telling her she needed to lose weight, or change her outfit, or hair, or something. He was never satisfied, no matter what she did. I said what I could to comfort her.

"Thanks for caring, Jesse. It's nice to have a friend. I just can't believe I stuck with him for so long." I was glad to see her sadness was turning more towards anger to her betrayer. She shouldn't be wallowing, especially when that involved talk about how much better she thought this other girl was.

"Like I said, loser. You deserve someone who'll take care of you and treat you like the ravishing beauty you are. You can do so much better."

She surprised me by suddenly turning her anger at me. "You didn't think of me as such not too long ago."

I hung my head. I could never forget the way I turned from her that night. Not for as long as I live. "You remember that. So do I. I was so nervous that night. I can't tell you how nervous." I turned to her with fire in my eyes. She had to understand. "But believe me, you could not make me so nervous if you didn't make me so crazy. I've always thought of you as beautiful. I will regret my mistake that night for as long as I live. If I hadn't been such a jerk, maybe things would have been different. Maybe-" I stopped. Yes, things would have been different, I can't change the past.

"Really? You've always felt that way?" She surprised me yet again in her mood change. Instead of angry, she now looked at me with fire in her eyes. A very different kind of fire from the anger and betrayal that was there before.

My heart raced, but it wasn't with nervousness. It was with my own fire. "Yes. Always."

Two words was all it took. She was on top of me in an instant. Kissing with passion, we laid there together. I don't know how long this went on, we were in no rush. Just enjoying being happy for a change.

Eventually the hunger grew. I tried to roll her over, get o top. She would resist, pushing me back down. Our kiss never broke. Finally I chuckled. "Alright." I whispered. I let her have top. She straddled my waist and began kissing my jaw, my neck, my collarbone. She sat up and removed her shirt, and I removed mine. She began kissing lower and lower. She reached my breasts. She removed my bra and began kissing around my nipples, giving the occasional nibble. Finally she sucked one in. I let out a long, low sigh of contentment. She went back and forth between each nipple for at least five minutes, igniting my passion further. She undid my belt and jeans. She had a wicked grin on her face. Looking into my eyes with nothing but pure lust in her own, she slowly, seductively slid her hand into my jeans, underneath my panties, and began to circle my clit. We began kissing again. A forceful kiss filled with heat. She worked me over like a pro, her asshole ex-boyfriend long forgotten. It didn't take long before I was moaning, asking for more whenever our kiss broke and she moved to kiss my neck, nibble my ears, whisper to me.

I came and came hard. When my breathing finally slowed, she simply stood up and removed her jeans and panties. Then she straddled my face. I chuckled again. She wasn't about to give up the top position. She could have it, for now. I took things a little slower than she did, relishing in the moment. I teased her a little, nibbling her thighs, circling around her pussy with my tongue. Finally she let out a little mew, a plea for more. I gave in. While I worked her clit with my tongue, I put in first one, then two fingers in her hole. She rocked to the rhythm and soon she came too, but I didn't stop there. I worked more furiously and within moments a second orgasm struck her. She fell off me, and lay by my side, catching her breath, and I mine. As her breathing returned to normal, I gave her small kisses on her forehead, her cheek, letting her know I cared.