Castaway Ch. 05

Author's Note:

This is the conclusion to the Castaway series, and is mostly a long version of an Epilogue. Consider that your warning, that yes, it's long. I have been told that most of my series had been long winded, or even too long and boring. I'm ok with that, and have been trying to remove some detail that didn't help build the story. The one thing I will say, I tend to add detail in small places, to at least set the scene better for the reader. If it all seems like drivel to you, I hope you can at least understand why I put it there in the first place.

If you made it this far, I thank you. Thanks again to all the comments that I have received. As I have said before, I read them all. I do try to use them as a guide for better creative writing, but am only human. I need to extend a huge thanks to my editor, Guinahart, for using her precious time to edit these for me. It is not her paid job to help me, so I am grateful for her volunteering to help.

This cast of characters may appear again, so keep an eye out. Until then, enjoy reading!

RNebular

*****

Caitlin -

How the hell did I wind up here? I mean, logically I know that I am to blame for a lot of the things that have gone wrong in my life, but why did I go along with any of it? It was NOT supposed to end this way.

When I left Hawaii, after that horrible attempt at an apology to my husband (yes, I still consider him my husband), I desperately needed to put the pieces back together. Let me rewind a little, and try to explain how I think things fell apart.

About two years ago, my daughter was graduating high school, and planning to move on to college. I was so proud of her, that I felt like nothing could go wrong. I was on top of the world. My husband was working a lot, which always got me a little angry, but we had a great marriage. I loved that man more than life itself, and still do.

The summer after her graduation, she spent it traveling with her best friend. It was truly the first time that I felt the emptiness of our house. I worked, so I wasn't pining alone by myself, but at nights, it would get to me. James was gone a lot, delivering supplies to all corners of the map, while I sat at home, alone. Sure, he was home some, which were always the best days and nights, but it wasn't enough.

I tried to tell him about my loneliness and how much I missed him, but either he didn't pick up on it, or just figured it would pass. I was really feeling alone now, almost abandoned. Finally, I suggested that he should try to add another plane or pilot, so that he wasn't always gone so much.

I know what you're thinking now: 'oh poor woman, ran off to cheat on her husband, and blamed it on being lonely.' That isn't true. Sure, it bothered me to no end that he was always gone, but I was still faithful to my husband, at the time.

Honestly, I went with James on a few of his trips, which was nice. We did connect during those times, but I could tell that he was still splitting his loyalties between me and his business. After a while, I stopped asking to go with him, and he never asked me to come along on his own.

Looking back, I think that was when I started to lose some of my respect for him. In my mind, he was choosing his business over me, almost as if he loved it more than me. I realize now, that I should have talked to him more about this, as it might have saved us both a lot of pain.

Cyrus... I will forever curse that man. I am not blameless in the whole thing, but if that snake hadn't been around, I would probably still be faithfully married to my husband. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, or so they say. I tend to agree. I look back, and see all the little digs, all the snide comments, and even all the times that asshole was giving me compliments. I was seduced, and will be eternally shameful that I didn't put up more of a fight.

Over the course of a year, I was almost living two lives. When James was around, I would temporarily forget about my jealousy of his job. We were always good together. He was gone as often as not, though, and during those times I would slide back into hating him, or at least being insanely jealous of his work.

Things came to a head, about two months before that fateful night. James was out of town, and Cyrus stopped by. I was half way through a bottle of my favorite Chardonnay, and again, mad at my husband for not being there.

When Cyrus got there, he put on the charm, big time. "Caitlin, you shouldn't be alone so much. I'll talk to James, and pick up more of his flights. He should really be here with you more."

It seemed like a line, but at the time, it actually made me feel good. "Thank you, Cyrus. That would be great actually, but why hasn't he asked you to help more? I keep telling him he is gone too much. It just seems to me that you guys could afford to hire another pilot, or add another plane, with so much work to do."

"Yeah, I have suggested that to James as well. He keeps telling me that we don't need another pilot. He says we are making a lot more money this way, and it keeps us flying more. I think he would fly every day if he could."

He sounded so sincere, and I felt like he really cared about me. I called James, and it went straight to voice mail. Cyrus told me that he should have been at his hotel hours ago. That was the first time that I truly wondered if he was cheating on me. Cyrus left that night, after giving me a warm hug, and a very chaste kiss on the cheek. I hate to admit it, but that hug and kiss turned me on some.

Over the next week, James came home and things seemed to get back to normal. He had to run off again, on another emergency, and I didn't want to sit home all alone again.

"James, can I come with on this trip? I could really use a break from this place, and I miss you so much."

"Honey, I wish you could. The plane is going to be so full of supplies, and I have to take some disaster relief official with, that there won't be room for you on the plane."

I was livid. I didn't talk much to him the rest of the night, and when we went to bed, I didn't say 'I love you' back to him, when he said it to me. I felt like shit the next day, when I woke up to an empty bed. He had left, and I didn't get to say sorry or goodbye to him.

Of course Cyrus came over to check on me, later in the day. I told him what James had said, and Cyrus had acted puzzled.

"I wasn't aware of any passenger going with on this trip. There should have been room. Hmm..." He paused as if in deep thought. "I'm sure it's probably nothing too serious. We do get last minute jump-ons, every now and then."

James was gone for two nights. Cyrus came to check on me the next night, and I was once again working on a bottle of my favorite white wine. At that point, I was beyond buzzed and glad for the company. I am truly ashamed to admit, that night was the first time I had ever cheated on my husband. Cyrus was so nice, and hugged me when I started to cry.

As my tears had settled down, we moved in together and kissed. Kissing led to groping, and soon he had me laying down on the couch, feeling and touching me under my skirt. I was feeling so good, that I just let him. He pulled my very wet panties off, and was gently rubbing me with his left hand, while still kissing me passionately. I was losing sense of time, and place. My nerves were tingling from head to toe, as he moved from my lips, down to my neck.

I didn't lie to James, when I told him that it was he who I thought about, when I was with Cyrus. Telling him that might have been a bad idea, but it was the truth. Cyrus pulled his hard dick out, and he moved to line it up. His cock was a bit thinner than James', but longer. James is probably about seven inches long, whereas Cyrus looked closer to nine or ten.

I thought of James more. I thought of how he liked to rub my breasts, and lick my nipples. I pulled open my blouse, to share them with Cyrus, hoping he would do the same as James. It's too bad, that I didn't think to stop this madness, before it went any further.

Needless to say, he had his way with me. I am not proud of surrendering like I did, but that's what happened anyhow. We lie there connected, for at least a few minutes, panting to catch our breath. His cock stayed hard, and was still very deep in me. I felt so full, but as I came down from the stratosphere, I remembered that it wasn't my husband that had given that massive orgasm to me. The guilt started, as did the self-loathing. I started to cry again, while he looked down at me. He eventually got off me, and straightened his clothes out. I was so ashamed, that I just asked him to leave. He left without much of a word, and I tried to clean myself up, before crying myself to sleep.

Thank god my daughter had spent that night at a friend's house. The next day, I was almost in shock at how stupid I had been. How could I? I had thought James might be cheating, and was furious at him for it. How would he feel, if he found out about last night?

Thankfully, things returned to some normalcy after James came home. He did notice that I was withdrawn and quiet, but I was able to convince him that I was just tired. He went out of town two more times, each very similar to the last one. The only difference, I didn't ask to go with.

As soon as he was gone, I got a visit from Cyrus. The first time he came over, I was pissed.

"Cyrus, don't you dare call me. I am not going to cheat on James anymore!"

"Caitlin, I'm sorry if you are upset. Truly I was just stopping by to check on you. I worry about you, and the last thing I want is to hurt you."

I softened, and let him in. We ended up fucking that night, and the next morning. We fucked on the floor, in my bed, even in the shower. I was a wonton slut for him, and had no explanation for it. It felt great, but hurt so badly once he was gone. How could I continue to cheat on James like I was? I threw up, violently, at the thought of losing him.

I had every intention of never letting Cyrus in my house again, until that weekend before my anniversary. I was mad at James again, for going off to that meeting. I had a couple drinks to pass the time. Cyrus showed up, and told me that he had proof that James was cheating, I blew a gasket.

"Cait, I'm so sorry, but I had to show you these. I'm tired of seeing you hurt and lied to."

He tossed those god damn pictures down, and after seeing James' face, I screamed out. If only I had looked at the woman closer. Sadly, I have nothing but 'what if's' left now.

I know that I still owe James for all the hurt that I caused him, as well as the complete truth. We may never be together again, and I will have to live with that. At the very least, we share Maddy, and I want us to all at least be friendly around each other.

I decided to write him a letter. My first attempt to apologize failed, after being setup again, by that asshole, Cyrus. I had no idea where he came from, as I certainly didn't invite him to come with, but am glad he's gone. I shuddered as I thought about it.

I would send James this letter, and just hope that it was enough.

**********

Dear James,

I miss you. I know that you don't want to hear it, but I still love you. I always will.

I came to you, to try to apologize. I wanted you to know what happened, and hoped that you would forgive me. Everyone makes mistakes, and I will forever be ashamed of mine.

Cyrus manipulated me. I see that now. Still, his actions do not excuse mine. I let him seduce, and manipulate me, into having an affair with him. I failed you, and I failed us. The affair lasted about two months before that night, and yes, he did come over after you had left me. That last night, I was distraught and barely thought about it, but the next morning, kicked him out and told him never to come back. I had finally found my spine, although much too late to do us any good.

That night. I'm so very sorry about how things went that night. I wish I could take it all back, every minute of it. I never wanted you to be physically hurt, I hope you know that. I just felt like I needed you to feel the hurt that I felt, emotionally. I thought you had cheated on me, and that rocked me to the core.

When he shot you, I think I went into shock. I barely heard him leave, and didn't know what to do. I should have called 911, but just sat there. You passed out, and I felt like I was moving in slow-motion. I didn't see any blood, and you were still breathing, but beyond that, all I felt was my own heart beating. Shawn was the only person that came to mind, so I called him. I was a zombie, and barely remember what I told him. I think I told him that you had been hurt, and needed help.

After I hung up, I just got up and ran. I ran to the bedroom, and threw on some clothes. I ran to my car, and sped away, with no real destination in mind. When I got to the edge of town, I stopped, opened my door and threw up. I spent the night in the car. When I woke up, I went home on auto-pilot, and cleaned up that horrible mess.

James, if you never want to speak with me again, I will understand. I wish I could take every horrible thing I did back. I am sorry. I am sorry for cheating on you. I am sorry for betraying you. I am sorry that I had so little trust in you that I believed him when he said you were cheating on me. Lastly, I am sorry that I hurt you, and destroyed our beautiful family.

Love always,

Caitlin

**********************************************************

James -

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. That's what my mom had always told me as a child, too bad it didn't always work out that way. Lately, my figurative lemonade was almost always too bitter, and required a lot of sugar to balance it out.

So much had happened recently, that I just wanted to relax. It was hard, considering the constant turmoil in my mind. When I shut my eyes, I could still see Caitlin getting fucked on my couch. I could still hear Cyrus laughing, as he told me that he had been the one to kill my parents. I could still see that gorgeous woman, Tanya, sitting poolside.

Why me? What the fuck did I ever do to deserve all this shit?

I had finally taken a call from Tanya, who profusely apologized to me for the ugliness we witnessed at her home.

"I like you, Tanya, I do. If you haven't noticed by now, I am a one woman kind of guy, and expect the same in return."

"Yes, Tyler was there, but he and I are no longer seeing each other."

"It didn't look like that to me. You were naked, and he came to the door almost naked. Two plus two usually always equals four. Plus, you lied to me about the extra days. I know I don't own you, but I don't like being lied to either."

"I didn't lie to you. We really did end up shooting several additional scenes. OK, what will it take to prove that you can trust me?"

"I don't know. Trust is earned, and it's hard to earn it when we live so far apart. I'm sorry, but I should get going. Goodbye, Tanya."

With that, I hung up. That woman was an enigma to me. She was about ten years younger than I, and as successful as you can possibly be. I had thought we had a connection, at a personal level, but who the hell knows anymore? She's an actress, so maybe she was just playing me to have some fun while here on vacation.

At least some things were going right for me. The plane got fixed, including some of the emergency supplies and upgrades that I had asked for. Obviously, I had not been as prepared for flying around these islands as I should have been. Shawn and I went over the basics and had the bird better equipped, should I have another emergency.

Tammy and Shawn were both extremely happy, working in Hawaii with me. Tammy's daughter Amber came around the office more often than before, just like I had suggested. Tammy pretended to be grumpy about it at first, but you could tell the two being together really made her day. She hung around whenever she wasn't in school.

Heck, even Howard seemed to be enjoying himself more these days, although that might be attributed to the vast quantity of distilled beverages that he consumed. He had grown quite fond of my 'Beach Pineapple' concoction, after having run out of his favorite scotch one night.

Maddy was doing very well in school and kept me updated on her life. It sounded like it was getting pretty serious with Sarah, and I told her that was wonderful. She also felt obligated to give me updates on her mother's life, although I could have done without those. Apparently Caitlin was seeing a therapist, for several issues. She also made sure to tell me that she wasn't going out or dating anyone. I told her to wish her well for me, but really didn't need to be kept posted. She was free to do whatever, and whoever, she wanted to.

I got a letter from her, but haven't opened it yet. I did notice that she had the return address showing her name as Caitlin Holmes, and not her maiden name. I just sighed and tossed it on my desk.

As the holiday season approached, we were very busy ferrying tourists all over the islands. I got to meet a lot of very interesting people, and some not so much. I flew a couple from New York, who had come to renew their wedding vows. There was this group of three guys and one woman that supposedly were all in a relationship together. Well, I guessed that part, but it was obvious that something was up, since they all made out like teenagers and were constantly touching. I felt like an NYC Taxi driver, with all the stuff I saw.

The strangest by far though, was this guy that I could only describe as some kind of monk, or priest. He said he was coming to 'find himself and god'. He was a bald older guy, with a tattoo where hair should have been. The closest thing I could compare it to would be Native American symbols, but I really had no idea. When I dropped him off, and asked when to return for him, he simply said, "God will tell you when I am ready to be picked up." He was definitely one of the ones we made sign a waiver, releasing us from liability if he never came back.

Aside from all the fun of flying, my personal life was stagnating. I hung out with my friends, but wasn't really working too hard to find another woman in my life. Shawn kept goading me to call Kim back, but I told him that while she was hot, she was half my age. Howard did try to get me to call Tanya once or twice, but I just couldn't. Being honest with myself, I was tired of the gorgeous princess types now, and felt I didn't need any more drama in my life.

Time just seemed to keep on marching forward, which is exactly what it's good at. I heard back from Tanya, through Howard, that there was some interest from a few publishers in my story. I really didn't care too much, but was glad to hear that something good might come from all of this.

With all of this free time on my hands, I did get to do a lot of introspection. One thing that I truly believed was that through all of the drama of the last year or so, my reactions to everything had been to run away. When everything blew up with my wife and Cyrus, I ran to Hawaii. When I thought things were going to get serious with Tanya, and she turned out to be less serious about us, I ran from that, too.

Only when the fight was brought to me, did I seem to stand my ground. With both Caitlin and Cyrus hunting me down, each for their own reasons, only then did I not run away. Maybe, it was because I felt I had no choice. Maybe, it was because I decided that enough was enough. Maybe, I was the one that really needed the therapist. Who knows? I did make a resolution to put a stake in the ground, and work to confront things more head on in the future.