Burn the Bastard Pt. 03

Beginning Penance and Punishment

Saturday

Some construction crews get the weekend off. My boss employed a lot of workers who barely spoke any English. The less English they spoke the more likely we would work every Saturday. I hit the jobsites early but, thankfully, we got finished for the day at a reasonable hour, about six p.m.

I had no reason to not go home so I did. I also don't like eating fast food all the time and my sandwich just wasn't hanging in there from lunch. I planned on making some spaghetti when I got home. I was feeling pretty good after taking full control of my life. I was feeling so good that I might even share my meal with my wife. I hadn't really decided if I was going to speak to her but I might share food.

At home I was surprised to see that June wasn't there. She never worked on Saturday, even during tax season. There was no note and, to be honest, I didn't expect one. I did check and all of her belongings were still in her bedroom. I started the water to boil and the hamburger to brown and got a load of laundry started. I figured I would need to wash a couple of loads tonight to get caught up.

About the time I finished the spaghetti, and had the second load started, June came in with a couple of shopping bags. She seemed happy. "Hello, Dear, I see you are cooking. It smells delicious."

I didn't say anything but did set out two place settings at the island.

She went on without any interruption. "I talked to an old friend today about a job. It would be a regular accounting position in a small office. The downside would be tax season. That is when everybody sees an accountant and the hours get quite lengthy. This friend, though, is no dummy. She voted for Trump and hates welfare. I think I could easily fit in with her and the other three accountants."

I had to agree with her that this might be a better fit for her. The jury was still out as to whether it would be good for us in the long run.

We sat down and ate our spaghetti and garlic bread. She kept talking and didn't really seem to realize that I was not talking much. She seemed very happy. I was just trying to think about what else I might try to cook. My repertoire was not very lengthy or varied and I really didn't want to just exist on frozen food or dining out all the time.

She then hit me with another announcement that immediately brought me back to the island and the matter of 'Us'. "I talked with the corporate attorney yesterday and he thinks he will have an agreement ready for us on Monday. He said it was a very unusual idea but that it was entirely legal and, in our case, fully enforceable. Can you come to the office late Monday afternoon and sign it? If you can then we can start our new life right afterward."

I know she was talking about sex. Even though the frequency of sex with each other had fallen off a little the past few weeks June was used to having sex frequently. I suppose her trysts with Pete had made up any difference in the lack of sex with me. Now she had gone six days without any sex unless she was fucking someone else. Somehow I doubted that she had another lover so quickly. This made me wonder why I was believing that since I had no basis to trust her.

I was kind of ambivalent about signing the post-nuptial agreement. I would benefit if she fucked around on me again and I caught her but I had agreed that sex as a method of punishment was not allowed. I would have to step up to the plate, metaphorically speaking, and hit a home run whenever she demanded, just as she had to at least lay there and take one for the team when I demanded it. Since I had not really been horny since the whole debacle had started I could see that her demands on me would be worse than any demand on her.

"I guess the next step is to get checked to see if either of us has a communicable disease. There is no sense rushing into a physical relationship until we are damned sure that one or both of us doesn't have a gift that keeps on giving."

That one rocked her back. "What do you mean 'both of us'?"

"How can you be sure that I haven't had some revenge sex since catching you with your lover? I don't have to work that late every day. I could have gone to the pub and spent time chatting up Chelsea. You have always been a little jealous of her monster tits and tight ass."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Normally no, I wouldn't, and I haven't, but you have let that horse out of the barn. You have repeatedly said that you would do almost anything to get me to forgive you. Wouldn't that include 'what is good for the goose is good for the gander'?"

Her whole world must have collapsed. Her shoulders slumped and the tears started anew. Finally she nodded.

"I am just pulling your chain. I have no intention of fucking around on you but you actually don't have any reason to trust me when I say that. I will go and get tested just as you will so that we start again with a clean slate."

She tried a smile but failed. She did nod. In between hiccups and blubbering she wondered if she could get tested on a Sunday. I didn't know but there were a few Urgent Care clinics that had Sunday hours that we could check out and we did.

The results would not be back for a few days so June would have to wait to exercise her demands for sex. I had to smile about that.

Sunday night

After visiting the clinic and getting our blood drawn, actually we had full physicals done, we had a leisurely meal, kind of a late lunch or early dinner. Some call it 'Lupper'. It was good to go out as a couple and relax. I think she realized that I was not as talkative as normal and that made her a little quiet also.

When we got home she asked to speak with me so we sat opposite each other at the dining room table.

"Are you shunning me?" She got to it straight out of the gate.

I had to shrug my shoulders because I really didn't know for sure. "It might seem that way and maybe it is a little. The more I think on it and the events a week ago, well that actually started sometime before that, I am finding that I don't have as much in common with you as I did."

That got a quick response. "What do you mean 'not as much in common as we did'?"

I work with my hands, not with my mouth so I never know if I am going to be understood as I try to say what is in my heart. I tried to explain it. "Please give me time to fully tell you what I mean. I know what I want to say but I don't know if you will perceive it the way I intend." I stopped and took a deep breath.

"When we first met we were strangers. I know I was attracted to you the very first time I saw you. I don't know if you really were aware of my interest at first. Now, that attraction was mostly physical, at least at first. I liked your hair and your hair style. I liked your smile, it lit up the room. I like how you held yourself. You were open and friendly but also self assured and confident. It was reflected in your posture. Your body wasn't super model thin or air brushed Playboy type, just nice and feminine. After I finally wrangled a date with you I was impressed with your wit, your humor, your thoughts and beliefs. At that time I felt they mirrored my outlook on life."

She nodded her understanding. I continued. "We got to know one another. We were friends, then friends with benefits. You became my best friend. I felt I could tell you anything and you wouldn't blab it to all and sundry. I trusted you with my most personal thoughts. I felt you were doing the same with me. Call it pillow talk or whatever, but it was almost as important as the sex we were experiencing together. As we age, maybe that will or would become even more important. I looked forward to sharing my whole life, not just a part, with you."

She was starting to tear up again. I believe she fully understood where I was going with this. I didn't let that stop me. "We got married. At the time I fully believed we were on the same page concerning our pledges to each other. Money has not been too much of an issue with us. We have been comfortable, maybe a little too comfortable. I was proud of you and, at the time, felt you were proud of me and what we each were accomplishing.

Then this past year things have changed. I have been busier than ever before. As my skills have improved I have been called upon by many different people in various construction disciplines to help get badly needed housing started and then finished. At the same time you have become more and more distant. You seemed at times to be embarrassed to be seen with me. I don't know how you have talked about me to others but I sensed that you were no longer respectful of my abilities or who I am as a person.

You quit asking me to company events. I now know that you were ashamed to be seen with me. I don't do suits very well. I hate ties. I found that I had little in common with your co-workers. I sure as hell didn't support Hillary as I didn't feel she was right for the job. I am not trying to gouge anybody but expect a day's pay for a day's work. It is how the world works. Socialism is a failed attempt at Utopia.

You started acting like you didn't even want to be around me. I don't know what date you fucked Pete the first time but I imagine it was after you quit wanting to make love with me. I would imagine it is hard to get aroused by someone you don't respect. We never talk anymore about our dreams and aspirations. Children are certainly off the books now.

As a final thought, I want you to know I am no longer angry with you. I haven't been since the other night when I told you to quit taking my clothes and putting them back in your bedroom. Instead I am sad and depressed. I guess I am grieving for losing my best friend. If you would have died I would have felt less loss.

If anything, believe this; if we divorce it won't be for the cheating. No, it will be for the reason I see that you cheated, that you lost all respect for me and what I do and that you fell out of like with me. Yes, you say you love me but do you like me? That I think is the real question to be answered."

Since I was trying to be fair I resisted the urge to get up and go to my bedroom and hide behind the lock. June needed to speak her piece. I finally held my hand up to stop her and got up and got me a beer and for her a glass of her favorite wine. We both took a sip before she gave her rebuttal.

"I want to tell you that you are completely wrong." She paused a second. "But I have a feeling that you are more right than wrong. I look now, through eyes that have been forced to see, and I am paying attention to all that you have done around this house to make it the home that we share. I forgot that for a while. I guess I took your skills and our friendship for granted.

I remember when I met you officially. I had seen you at various parties and get-togethers and had been curious to get to know you. When we finally got together and started to talk I was impressed. I guess I was a little surprised that someone without a degree could be so insightful. I first assumed you would be one of those tough macho guys, you know the kind, that gets drunk all the time and fool around on their significant others.

I loved how we could just spend time together just talking about things, whether it was politics, religion, weather, how the Cubs were playing, just about anything and we could discuss and even disagree without getting too emotional about it.

When we started to have sex it was great. I have had poor lovers but you rang my bell every time. I guess I forgot that or just got complacent. I didn't realize that I was pulling away from you. I remember being irritated that you weren't trying to go to school and, I am ashamed to say it, get a 'real job'."

I told you before how my co-workers felt about you. The digs started out just as innuendo but, I guess I didn't defend you, so they got worse and more blatant. I started to believe the crap. Hell, I was sure you were fucking Chelsea at times as you guys were very chummy whenever I deigned to go to the pub. I decided, without any evidence, that I couldn't trust you and felt I could then do whatever I wanted to do with whomever I wanted to do it with."

She stopped and took a deep breath. "My stupidity knew no boundaries until you caught us. I haven't really thought about it but I might have brought Pete here, into our house, our bastion against the world, just to rub your nose in the shit I was shoveling on myself.

When you caught us I was forced to see what was really going on, namely the disrespect we had towards you. You were so magnificent that day. You knocked Pete out with one blow. You ripped his cock out of my ass at the same time. You handled us like we were children and got us tied up so fast I was still thinking with my asshole instead of my brain. You told us what you thought of us. You informed Pete of the penalty that he was going to pay. I could see the threat to me even though you never directly addressed my punishment.

If I had never met you before last Monday I would have been proud to be in the same room with you. You were everything a man should be. You were the ultimate alpha and I was ashamed to have disrespected you and I was afraid you might not ever speak to me again. I fully expected to be sitting on the curb without a stitch of clothing to my name."

She paused to look me directly in the eye to try and get me to understand that she was being honest. "I know my word means nothing. At the same time I can only say this again and again. I will never take you for granted again as long as I live. I also will not ever disrespect you or what you do ever again. I have already taken multiple opportunities these past few days to tell people off while praising you. Now that you ask whether I like you, I have made my decision. I want my friend back. The lover part will come in its time."

She tried to read my face. I guess I should play more poker as she didn't seem to be reassured. June stood and started to unbutton her blouse. It was a loose item of clothing. After it was unbuttoned she pulled it off. Her normal bra had been replaced by a little wisp of nothing that barely held her tits in place. When I gave her a quizzical look she explained. "Saturday, yesterday, while I was out shopping, I stopped into a tattoo place and had a tattoo done. If this doesn't make my point I don't know what will."

She pointed to a large dressing that covered most of her left boob. She peeled the tape off to reveal a red outlined letter "A" that came down on either side of her nipple and aureole. "Unlike in the old story of the Scarlet Letter, I decided on something more permanent than a symbol attached to clothing. Now, no matter what happens, if anyone sees me either naked or even with a bikini on there will be no mistaking my transgression. I am an adulterer and now am branded as such. I asked for the brightest of red in the ink. It isn't fully done. The size of the letter and the amount of ink needed to fully fill it in requires multiple visits. I had to just start with a thick outline. I just wish it would glow in the dark."

She looked me square in the eye. "I will go back and finish the tattoo. There is no doubt in my mind each time I wear a thin blouse the letter will show through. I will never hide it. If anyone shows an interest in my badge of shame I will open my blouse and tell the story of why I had it done. Maybe some other dumb bitch will think twice about cuckolding her husband. I don't want anyone to feel what I am feeling right now. I also don't want any poor spouse to feel what you have been feeling."

I was saddened that our relationship had come to this. A lack of trust, a loss of friendship, and maybe the death of love. It was sad that June felt she had to brand herself with something that would be permanent to chronicle something that might have been transient but it did appear she was truly contrite. The question remained: could we get past this? Actually could I get past this? I believe June felt she could. I assumed it would be easier for her since she was not the one who had been betrayed.

I had a request for her. "Could you please put off filling in the 'A'? The thick outline that you have right now might be enough of a punishment. It is already a permanent reminder of what you did. Having the full letter filled in might become too much and become something to hate rather than be a shameful reminder."

I was surprised when June smiled and thanked me. I guess she really didn't want to undergo the pain of fully filling in the tattoo.

Now June surprised me again. "Mike, I know that you cannot bring yourself to physically punish me for what I did. Hell, until last Monday I don't remember you ever getting into a physical altercation even with any man. That one punch was a doozy.

I might get your forgiveness without receiving pain but I wonder if I would really learn my lesson and remain faithful to you. I am afraid that even with the tattoo and the post-nuptial agreement I may be tempted to disrespect you again sometime in the future. You know my father would not hesitate to use a cane on my back and ass for what I did. I have been toying with the idea of confessing to him but it might hurt him and my mother more if they knew what I had done to us."

She took a deep breath and let it out before continuing. "In that vein of thought I tried to come up with a way to receive physical punishment, a punishment that I fully believe I deserve, but not force you into doing something that is against who you are. I suppose if I forced you to inflict pain and sodomy on me I would be showing disrespect again."

I tried to interrupt but she held her hand up to stop me. "Because of that I have come up with a solution to the problem. Your only choice is whether you sit and watch or I undergo this without you."

I remember shaking my head. I was opposed to this. But I had to admit that I might not have any other choice than the one she presented to me. I finally found my voice. It was more hoarse than I felt it might be. "How are you going to do this?"

"I have asked Leslie to come over and I have told her what I did to you and to us."

That statement almost stopped me from responding. Leslie Leiss was a neighbor of ours. She was an out of the closet lesbian and didn't care who knew. June didn't only not like Leslie, or Les as she preferred to be called, she also was vehemently opposed to any lifestyle that was not strictly heterosexual, well at least where women were concerned. Since finding out what she and Pete had planned for me I suppose she felt that at least guy-on-guy sex was okay. I had always wondered if that was because her parents were so narrow in their outlook or because June might have some latent desire towards the fairer sex and was afraid of that aspect of her makeup.

For example our neighborhood is comprised of very active and friendly residents. There are routine and regular parties where all are invited, especially during the summer. June refuses to invite Les or any gay person to any party we host, I have to extend the invitation. June will also snub Les and any person who seems friendly to her or her current lover. June would also be so petty that she would critique any outfit that Les would wear to an event, even if she had the same exact clothing at home.

For her to actually start a conversation with Les, let alone tell her about her affair and my reaction, was so out of character as to be not believable.

I had no idea if Les was also a domme. She might be since June was talking about our situation and her plan with her. I paid close attention as June continued. "I have explained to Les what I did and she has agreed to be the deliverer of my punishment. She will choose how and what the exact punishment will be. I told her how you punished Pete and she was intrigued and thought my punishment might just go along those lines."