by shayswan2
Mmm, I love a Scooby snack aka short sweet hot stories. Way to go Shayswan2! Nice for your first story. I think you have something here. Keep up the good work
Nope, you haven't got anything, including a command of what obviously is not your best language.
I appreciate your feedback. I agree that this story is rough. It was my first attempt at erotica. May I be so bold as to ask what it is I need to improve on. I'm always open to some healthy critism.
First off, work on your spelling. It's "criticism," not "critism." You made the same mistake in both your comment and your author notes at the beginning, so the misspelling wasn't an accident. You won't be taken seriously if you can't spell simple words.
Thank you for the tip. I will admit I did not know how to spell criticism. I had started typing it and my phone's auto correct pulled that up so I thought it was the correct spelling. From now on if I do not know how to spell it I will look it up. Is there anything else I need to work on?
A little more description/background of who the women are would be better. Jumps into the sex way too fast.