A Little Night Music Ch. 14

"Royalty, Lord, it looked good on me.

Buried in silk in the royal boudoir,

or going nuclear free.

Or playing Crokinole with the Princess of Monaco.

Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders,

getting it all on video."

-Moxy Früvous, "King of Spain"

Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez received his call ten minutes before the end of the meeting. An empty office was found nearby for him to take it. Thankfully, the office had a convenient ash tray. He hung his jacket on the back of the chair, took out a cigarette, and lit it while his assistant connected the call.

"I can guess what this is about, Hernando," Detective Inspector Luc Allaine of Interpol, the voice on the other end of the phone said, speaking English with a French accent. "I have been watching the news. How is she?"

"They're closing her up for now," Ramirez said with a puff of his cigarette. "The intestinal damage has been seen to, but they say it is a waiting game whether or not they were able to save her liver or must go back in. In a few hours, they may have better news. I will know more when I return to the hospital. Until then; yes, Luc, I need you to dredge up a possible ghost for me."

"The man in the white windbreaker?" Ramirez could hear Allaine taking a drag of his own cigarette on the other end. "The tourist video did not give much. Left-handed was all I could get from his back."

"Si. I have more for you from my angle, Old Man." Ramirez propped his feet on whoever's desk he was using before continuing. "The man was deaf and he had a shuffle to his step, as if the right side of his body may have been weaker than the left. White, late 50s, balding. Nothing else I could distinguish about him at the time. There was also a broken vial found at the scene. We haven't identified the contents yet."

"Hmm..." Allaine thought. "Assuming it was his, if he had a medical condition, it may have been medication for it. Or a drug. A touch of Bolivian Courage before the deed? But non, if it were something he needed, why wait until that moment to take it? Would it not need time to kick in? Why not take it before, then discard the bottle instead of saving it until the last second?"

"Poison, maybe? No other substances were found on the broken blade."

"Possible, the old poisoned blade trick is good for the movies; in reality, hardly practical. I do not wish to hear about things that I should not know, old friend, but I am certain that in your career with Le Ultimados, you have had cause to stab a man at one time or another." Although he could not be seen over the phone, Ramirez nodded. "You do not stab him once and leave the knife inside the body long enough for a poison to take effect; you remove the knife and stab him again, non? And the the blood is coming out of the wound instead of circulating through the body. Any poison would be expelled with it. A glass blade might break off in the body, and perhaps then, it could take effect, but it is not something to chance. A professional would know this. So a contingency, maybe. There was some confusion beforehand, non? The maid in the video caused a distraction."

"Si. That was Jeanne Carpentier, La Contessa's personal maid. She is no suspect. It was an honest, if conveniently-timed accident that hindered his plan more than anything."

"Ah, Oui. You just had to say that she was French, Old Man. Oui, the crowd around him turns to see; bumping and jostling occurs. If our man had a physical weakness on his right side, as you suggest, he may have been unable to hold onto the vial. Now, like any good customer service, I must ask you the obvious question, Hernando: You were there with your gun; why did you not shoot? This 'Bystander Effect' satisfies the press, oui. But I think there is more."

Allaine was typing on the other end of the line and couldn't see Ramirez's face redden a bit.

"I was..." Ramirez took a puff of his cigarette to think. "It is difficult to say; I certainly cannot over the telephone."

"If that is your way of piquing my curiosity and drawing me into the investigation, Hernando, it is working. Un moment, le micro is thinking."

Luc muttered French curses at the computer until the results came back empty. "No one active in our system. But you didn't expect that either, did you? You said, 'possible ghost,' at the beginning of the conversation."

"Si. I think the man we're looking for dropped off your radar a while back. We're looking for someone who WAS a pro, say, 20 years ago."

"I see, a good time to be a young man good with a knife to be seeking work." Allaine typed again. "You're thinking someone who achieved every young criminal's goal: the fabled 'big enough score to get out of the game young.' Come back for one last hurrah?"

"Whoever he was, he walked into the castle with the tour group, knowing he would not come out alive. And he made no threats, before or during. I do not think this was ego or politics."

"Your thought about his injury, if it affects the motor skills on the right side of his body, it may well be a brain injury rather than a physical one."

Ramirez finished his cigarette as he thought.

"Si. That might also cause him to lose his hearing."

"Oui. I've just sent an email to the right people to go through some inactive files on this. Hmm... a brain injury that afflicted him so, he has probably seen experts and specialists." More typing followed. "Schön Klink in Germany appears to have the top people in the world. He's probably been more than once; no doubt under an assumed name. Perhaps he's gotten sloppy enough to use an old alias as well." Luc did some more typing. "They have seventeen facilities around the country. Two are in Munich, that seems the place to start. Once I hear back, I'll wake some people in Munich and put them on this."

"I doubt that I shall sleep much, myself, Old Man. I shall await your call.

"A bientot, then." And with that, Allaine ended the call.

Ramirez leaned back in the office chair and stretched out for a moment before he heard a loud squeal coming from the Palace wing of the castle. He jumped to his feet, grabbed his gun, and ran toward the noise.

* * *

Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria Louisa Francesca de San Finzione walked out of the meeting room where she'd just met with her top advisers and shown them, in no uncertain terms, that they were not dealing with the little girl they saw scamper around the castle as a child, but a woman with the strength and confidence to handle her Great-Grandmama's job for however long was needed.

She left the meeting and turned toward the Palace wing, where La Familia's residences were located, when she saw a woman being escorted by two palace guards. When she recognized Susan Bailey as the woman they were escorting, she let out a loud, girlish squeal and ran between the two guards, wrapping her arms around the slightly-older woman in a giant hug that very nearly became a tackle.

Although Susan wasn't one for such displays, she returned the hug with just as much enthusiasm.

The two guards saluted and one of them spoke in English.

"Contessa, this woman says that she is a friend of yours. It is very important that we bring her to you. My Contessa will be very pleased to see her. I want to serve my Contessa."

Maria didn't break the hug, but backed away to look Susan in the face quizzically.

"I'm still pretty new at all this," Susan explained with a shrug. "You've got a REALLY big castle and, well, I was pretty sure I couldn't just walk up to a castle and knock on the gate and ask if Maria's home, so..." She turned to the guard. "Well done, soldier. You can see your Contessa is pleased. Back to your post."

"Si," Contessa Maria told them. "You have done well."

Smiling, the two guards rounded the corner back toward the residence. Ramirez came running from the administrative wing, gun in hand and pointed downward, toward them. He stopped when he saw Maria break their embrace and take hold of Susan's hand.

"Contessa," he said to Maria. "I heard a cry."

Maria beamed.

"Si, Generalissimo. A very important friend has arrived. This is Susan Bailey." Maria looked behind her, as if expecting them to be just out of view, then turned to Susan. "And the others?"

"With Helen at the hospital. They'll be here soon."

Susan looked over at the Generalissimo, gun not pointed at her, but out and at the ready.

"Hi, I'm Susan. You must be Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez." She looked at the gun. "Helen... said I could trust you?"

* * *

The sun didn't shine through the open balcony doors into the bedroom of the castle. It didn't cast its beam across the marble floor, onto the Persian rug, across the king-sized bed, or onto the face of Contessa Helena de San Finzione, because there was nothing outside the version of La Contessa's bedroom where Helena and Suzy-Q lay in bed, playfully stroking each other's hair and planting little kisses on each other's face and neck as they spoke.

"Shouldn't I have woken up by now," Helena asked Suzy-Q. "I mean, we figured out there's probably a bomb, that's the sort of thing that does it on TV. Learned a few things with someone," she cupped Suzy-Q's breast for emphasis. "Whom, I must admit, it would be nice to be THIS friendly with her... Hey, what is Susan to you, anyway? Your boss? Is is like that animated movie about the emotions in the little girl's head? Is she Capo di Tutti Capi? How does it work?"

Suzy-Q thought a moment and idly stroked Helen's pussy before while she thought.

"Well, 'boss' and 'boss of all bosses' are inaccurate. Yeah, that's right, Susan's seen The Godfather. 'Dear friend, who kindly allows us to sleep on her mind's couches' might be brutal, but accurate. We were well on our way to becoming multiple personalities when Troy & Julie showed up. Now, we're... more like her advisers. Sometimes, if Life's getting to her, she'll... sort of 'mentally pull over and let one of us drive for a bit.' The other two have been working overtime with everything happening; that could be why nobody's noticed me gone yet. I've always been something of a wallflower until recently; you wouldn't recognize me a couple months ago. Well, except for the whole 'We all look just like Susan' part. I dressed differently back then."

Suzy-Q sat up and looked out the windows at the blackness outside, because Helena hadn't imagined anything beyond this room and the passage back to her study.

"The only bad part about this little visit for me," Suzy-Q said, staring at the Nothing outside. "Is that I'm pretty sure Susan's not ready to know about all this." She bowed her head. "God, don't let me be the part that keeps secrets from her. I like her too much for that."

Helen turned to face Suzy-Q, propping her head up with her hand.

"Hey, I get it. If I found out some part of my psyche was going off and helping Susan through weird vision quests; I can't say how I'd take that either. The worst part for me is not knowing how long until I wake up. For all I know, it's been days and the bomb's gone off already. People could be dead now because I can't wake up! Oh, fuck! SPRINGHEEL!"

Suzy-Q lay back on the bed and faced Helen as well. With Susan's free hand, she touched Helen behind the left earlobe and started tracing tiny spirals.

"Don't freak out! Remember: On TV, that always makes them flatline in the real world, and you don't have time for that shit! We keep coming back to TV and movies on this."

Helen closed her eyes and sighed, visibly relaxing.

"Yeah..." Helen sighed out. "That's really all we've got to work with, though." She sighed again as all of the tension left her face. "No one has touched that trigger in years."

"Wonder where I learned it," Suzy-Q said with a smile. "Now, we can more... well, we said goodbye to 'rationally' long ago; so, let's say 'calmly,' discuss your concern. This 'guest access' I've got to your thoughts? I think you might 'drop the firewall' a bit during sex; because I picked up a lot back in that 69. You're lonely, Helen; and you feel like you have to be alone in everything. If there's some kind of 'lesson' in all this, Contessa, it's that you are most certainly not."

She kissed Helena's neck before continuing.

"Contessa Helena de San Finzione surrounds herself with smart, capable people; many of whom are presently NOT undergoing vision quests; they're on this thing too. From what I get from you about Ramirez, his macho pride might've gotten stung for being helpless; but he's over it by now, and is doing something. Probably just what we've been doing. Not the sex; the 'putting stuff together' part. There's a good chance he's figured out the bomb thing, himself."

Helen nodded as Suzy-Q slid her hand gently down to Helen's shoulder and started massaging it.

"And Troilus Fucking Equals, Helen, is out there for you. The world finding out about all of you is his nightmare, but you know that once Julie's sorted out, nothing's going to keep his brain away from this. And when Julie's back to herself, she'll be right beside him. This fucker needs to start praying that Troy finds him before she does.

"I can't give you a number on how long it's been, but not as long as you think. Susan is with Maria now, and she just met Ramirez. She left Troy and Julie at the hospital, so they're probably right by your side. Oh, this is important: Susan's got a really big thing about hospitals. We don't talk about it, not even to Troy and Julie. Just, please undersand; it's ABSOLUTELY nothing personal if she doesn't come visit you in the hospital."

Helen nodded again, opening her eyes, and seeing Suzy-Q's looking back.

"I can get that. Hey," she mused, enjoying the shoulder rub. "We both called this a 'vision quest' before. Much as I'd like to keep this up and maybe go another round, I have to wake up; so maybe that's the answer."

"Like, you need to learn some personal truth to get out of here? Well, if I was some kind of spirit guide, wouldn't I already know what it is? But for some reason, I'd have to be all Cryptic Asshole and lead you on a freaky journey through challenges that oddly mirror your life; speaking only riddles until you figure it out?" She paused. "You know, thinking about it now, spirit guides are kinda dicks. Well, if that's what I should've been doing all this time, I didn't get the memo. But yeah, it's worth a shot."

Suzy-Q turned her wrist and pressed her fingers to the side of Helen's face.

"The Vulcan Mind Meld?" Helen asked.

"Hey, I haven't tried doing this on purpose yet, just give it to me, ok? If and when it's time to tell Susan about all this, a Star Trek gag might get us some slack."

Suzy-Q closed her eyes. Helen heard her whispering the words "My mind... to your mind... My thoughts... to your thoughts..." and mouthed along. After a moment, Suzy-Q opened her eyes and spoke.

"Ok. Didn't get much, and this is just me guessing, based on everything I've picked up and Susan's limited information on the subject, but here goes."

Helen nodded and she began.

"Marion Parker. It's ok to say her name now and then, Helen. She helped Persephone steal those guns. Think about it: How's a 16-year-old girl going to get away with selling a bunch of stolen guns? Your mom managed to make a friend or two amongst the 'Uncles who need to stay here a couple days, but don't you say a fuckin' thing about it to anybody.'"

"Oh, PLEASE tell me she cheated on him and he's not the real donor!"

Suzy-Q gave a sad smile at that.

"I'm here to help, not lie."

Suzy-Q took a deep breath and took hold of Helen's hand.

"He was touching her, Helen. Persephone. You were three, you didn't know what you were seeing, but it's pretty clear to anyone older seeing it. That's why Marion did it. Why she stole the guns for a plane ticket and whatever cash was left and told her oldest daughter to get on a plane for 'Don't tell me! if I don't know, he can't beat it out of me.' And years later, she noticed when he started looking at you the same way; the way he used to look at Julie that made her stop coming over to play."

All Helen could do was nod in reply. Tears began forming in Suzy-Q's eyes.

"When he started making slimy comments about you 'maybe being good for something after all,' she'd had enough. But she didn't have another load of stolen guns to fence and send you away; so THAT'S when Marion Parker stood up to the fucker. For you. And he killed her for it."

They wrapped their arms around each other; holding and sobbing quietly for unguessable time in this place where it didn't seem to have a meaning anyway. Eventually, they looked each other in the face again and brushed away each other's tears.

"Yeah, sorry," Helen said sadly. "I'd kind of pieced that together long ago. That 'don't tell me' line comes right out of my own thoughts on the matter."

"Damn," Suzy-Q replied. "I thought that was a pretty good one. It should've done it. Like, not even hearing someone else put it into words?"

Helen shook her head.

"No, but it was a good effort. Maybe it's just up to the doctors and whatever drugs they've got me on when this is going to end. Seems the most productive thing we've done since we got up here is have sex."

"Well," Suzy-Q said, sliding her arms down to Helen's waist. "There's a lesson for you to take away from that, too."

Helen smiled and kissed her.

"What's that?"

Suzy-Q gave a wicked smile and began a slow line of kisses between her breasts, her destination obvious.

"Somewhere," she said in-between kisses. "Way deep... down inside... there is definitely... a part of Susan... that REALLY likes you."

The two giggled.

* * *

Troy and Julie Equals walked into the Byroni Medina Memorial Emergency Medical Center. He held her hand as they walked up to one of the Ultimados standing guard in the lobby.

"Hello," he said to the Ultimado in English. "My name is Troilus Equals. You have a file on me; it might be under 'Medina,' spelled the same way as on this building. This is my lovely wife and Partner-In-Everything, Julie Equals. If they're not combined into one, her file should be right in front of mine. If not, try under 'Andrews;' no relation.

"Your commanding officer is a Capitan Ortega, right? Go ahead and call this in. Or maybe you already know what the procedure is if we show up. Whatever it is: Roll out the red carpet or get more guns and point them at me; go right ahead and do it. If guns need to come into this, no one will be hurt as long as they're all kept pointed at ME alone! One way or another, though, this ends with us seeing Helen. So, where do we go?"

The Ultimado's response was to salute, and state that their approach to the hospital had been under blackout conditions because they had been instructed to expect what the Ultimados' files referred to as "An Equals Situation." Troy wasn't sure if he was supposed to return the salute or not, and settled on doing so. They were directed to Post-Op Intensive Care.

"Thank you," Troy said. "Also, would you know if the gift shop still open? Or if they have Julie Andrews Roses? Yes, I mean that one, this time."

The Ultimado didn't think so. The two of them walked to the ward.