A Happy Ending

I had gotten into trouble with a school bully; a mean cuss who had beaten me and nearly raped me during my last day at high school. This bully, Jake, and his friends had made my last year of school miserable, always taunting me and calling me names like 'fag', 'sissy' and worse. That last day at school I was in the restroom when he came in with a buddy of his. I had just finished my business and Jake thought it would be a fitting end to the school year if I gave him a blow job. I avoided his cock in my mouth as he pushed me down. I tried to defend myself and managed to keep my mouth closed. He finally gave up and beat me senseless. To add to my troubles he had stomped on my groin crushing my testicles. I passed out.

Some other boys found me in the toilet bruised and bleeding and I was rushed to hospital but the damage was done. The ball sac had to be removed. I retained my penis but would never father kids. I was a scrawny 18 year old, thin and just five foot six inches. I had longish brown hair. This was a bad period in my life.

I had moved in with my only close relative, Aunt Kate, after the death of my parents in a car crash some nine months earlier. She was divorced and had a modest income. My parents left me some money and she was given an allowance for my upkeep. Her step-daughter Annie and I had spent time together in earlier years as we lived not far from each other. Annie was two years older and had left for college about the same time my parents were killed. I hadn't seen her for some months but had spoked to her sporadically.

I moved into Annie's room. Moving in with my aunt also allowed me to stay in the same school. Aunt Kate consoled me through the messy problems after mum and dad died as best she could. I was never great at school and the death of my parents and the trauma that ensued almost guaranteed I wouldn't graduate.

Frank Garner, who lived in the same apartment block as I, heard about my problem from my Aunt Kate. He was about five years older and a big guy, over six foot tall and 220 lbs. I was surprised that Frank had visited me in hospital with Aunt Kate. Having heard my story, he went back and found Jake, my bully. I don't think Frank did it for me but it gave him an excuse to beat Jake up rather badly. It seems they were part of rival gangs. Jake had broken teeth and ribs apparently. He threatened that if Jake would ever utter a word to anyone or complain to the police that this would be his last act. Frank's friends would see to it that Jake would be in some serious trouble. The reputation of Frank & his cronies was enough to keep Jake quiet.

Although Frank lived in the same apartment block I only knew him briefly. I had seen him always roaring around in his monster truck but I had no real contact with him. Aunt Kate appeared to know him quite well. He was big, gruff and hung out with guys like himself. I was surprised he had visited me in hospital with Aunt Kate and sought out Jake as he had no reason to do it for me.

After over a painful month in the hospital, I was still traumatized. I had been heavily sedated for some time. The removal of my testicles left me in a deep funk. I was just beginning to be interested in girls although I didn't know any girl outside my class and had never been out with one. Sad to say therefore that I had not had any sexual relations with a girl either. I only knew my hands for sexual pleasure. Added to that, my aunt was grateful to Frank for having dealt with my aggressor as she continuously reminded me. I shouldn't be surprised. My Aunt Kate was easily influenced and now that Frank had revenged her nephew, she was under his spell and considered Frank a hero and somebody I should respect. And that included having a chat with me about my future with Frank present.

Frank was a rough kid and always was seen with a group of similar looking friends both male and female. Frank didn't have anyone who showed him kindness so had taken to Aunt Kate who had apparently helped him with some money when his father threw him out. He had beaten up some kid badly. This was the rumor in the apartment building. In all the months I lived with Aunt Kate I hardly saw Frank. He never visited us in the apartment. Aunt Kate must have shared my plight with him as he wouldn't know or take care of Jake otherwise.

It was the last day of high school when this happened. I was looking for a job but had no luck finding anything in an office. My grades and graduation prospects didn't look good. Since the death of my parents I had a difficult time in concentrating. Aunt Kate didn't push me and I just drifted facing an uncertain future. My parents had some money and I would have access to this at the age of twenty-one, three years from now. Aunt Kate gave me an allowance every month but it was not enough to live on independently. I couldn't live with her forever.

After I left the hospital, Frank visited with me a few times in the apartment. He never stayed more than a few minutes. Although it appeared Aunt Kate was nervous around him, I think she also liked that was big and acted like the son she never had. One day Frank and Aunt Kate arrived home together. They had bought some Chinese food and some beer. I could hardly eat but they guzzled it down. After dinner had been cleared up, Aunt Kate told me to sit with them as they had some ideas for my future. Alarm bells should have rung, but I was still in shock over my state.

"Gerry, I am sorry for the pain and the problems. Really, I am truly sorry to see this has spoiled your life." Aunt Kate was tearing now and dabbed at her eyes. "I think we need to discuss your future."

I was wondering about that myself. Would I ever be able to work? What kind of job could I get? I was interested in art and books so librarian was good. But without graduation it would be impossible. My small family inheritance would help but I had to work. Although fit, I couldn't carry weights and needed to take it easy for some time. I was also useless as a man and would never have a normal relationship with a woman. At least not one that wanted normal sexual relations and kids. I didn't even know if my penis would get a firm erection. I could pass water now but was still sore.

Aunt Kate looked at me and started, "Frank and I have been talking. He has a Doctor friend and we think there may be a solution. We think you should perhaps undergo an operation to make you into a full female so that you can live a normal life although you couldn't bear kids. Surgery is great these days and with your small figure, you can get away with it. Frank would employ you as a receptionist in his shop," Frank's father had owned an auto repair shop and he was going to retire and let Frank be the new manager. I wasn't sure that he had even graduated, but he would take over the business shortly. And I owed him for dealing with Jake.

"What do you mean?" I asked incredulously. "That's a stupid idea I don't want to be a woman and besides I'd look awful. I can work in Frank's shop as a male, right?" I began to get a panic attack.

"Gerry, I know," Aunt Kate said. "But to be honest with you, given your size and current situation, as a female you are more likely to be attractive to a man who will support you. I am not sure you have the ability to support a family or even yourself as you are now. You didn't graduate and college is out. Your mother and father are no longer alive and you have no siblings." I was left to the care of Aunt Kate, my mother's sister, after my parents were killed.

Frank was smiling. "My Doctor friend has done some of this kind of surgery. I know him and he owes me some favors. May have to do this in parts though. Look, Gerry, I feel sorry for you. I can use you in the office and also as my assistant when you have recovered. Not so bad, eh?"

Aunt Kate grabbed my hand. "Listen, remember that Halloween some years ago where we dressed you up as a girl. Nobody could figure out that you were anything but a girl. In fact, you got hit on more than your cousin." Annie, Aunt Kate's step-daughter, and I had dressed as twin sisters for Halloween. Even though we didn't look alike, we managed to fool everyone and have fun. I was crying now. To dress as a girl for Halloween was different to being a girl for life.

Yes, mum and Aunt Kate had persuaded me to dress up and go with Annie to a Halloween party. I had a great time but I could change in the morning. She had padded out a bra with some inserts giving me a massive bosom. A tight tank top, a short skirt, fishnet stockings with 4" heels, heavy makeup with large false eyelashes and a blonde wig and I was the belle of the ball. After some practice I could even dance in the heels. I had many guys hitting on me and I had a blast. I had even been kissed by a guy on the dance floor. Too frightened to admit I was anything but a girl, I had let him grope and kiss me. Annie had rescued me but she had watched me react and thought I was a pretty girl.

Dressing up for one evening had been fun. But to be a girl, a woman, permanently was beyond anything I had thought of. However, I was no longer the man I then was. Whilst I had never thought of a family and kids, I now felt a total failure. No longer able to perform as a man. Tears came to me. What would become of me?

"Look, Gerry, I really know it's tough." Aunt Kate was holding both my hands now. "I can understand how you feel. But whatever has happened we still love you. I know Frank will take good care of you. He's tough and you shouldn't cross him, but he will take care of you." Aunt Kate stroked my hand softly. She was also close to tears. She rose and hugged me tightly. "Think about it carefully. You know there is no going back." She smiled at me and gave my hand a squeeze and they left.

"At least promise you will see the doctor and get his advice. We can then still talk about it." Aunt Kate was right. A visit to the doctor and a honest discussion would give me something to think about. I didn't need to decide yet.

I hardly slept. A million thoughts were going through my mind. How would I look? What would family and friends think or say? Aunt Kate was the only family I had and she wanted me to do this, but it was so permanent. Did I really want this? Yet, what female would want to marry a scrawny male without all his parts and who couldn't please her in bed? Nor father her kids? My job prospects were low too. It was so confusing.

I hardly noticed the time but it was light outside. My cell rang. It was Aunt Kate. She must have gone out early although she normally only worked in the afternoons. She wanted us to meet the Dr' and have him advise me directly. I agreed to meet him at 11. I took a shower and observed my thin body, penis hanging there almost obscenely without the testicles. I wondered if I could get an erection as I soaped myself. Yes, it seemed I could feel some blood flowing there but it was slight and that was a relief. I finished showering and changed into loose fitting clothes to meet Aunt Kate.

The Dr.'s office was a small clinic in a very modest building. Inside was all white and sterile. Aunt Kate took me into the waiting area and helped me fill out a long questionnaire. After a short wait, we were ushered into Dr Master's office. It was a regular office with a couple of easy chairs and papers and books piled high.

"So, Mr. Alten, I read your file and also had a call from Frank. Before we discuss, I would like to examine you." He buzzed a nurse in who led me away to a room from his office. She asked me to undress completely and put on a robe. The Dr came in and examined me from head to toe. He paid particular attention to my genitals and upper body. He also took some blood samples. After almost an hour he asked to change back and meet him in the office. I was nervous at what he might recommend as I went back to his office. Aunt Kate was outside it seemed.

I went out to meet her and found her in a small courtyard smoking. I had never seen her do that before. "Sorry, Gerry, am nervous. Smoke?" she held out a pack. I had never smoked. Under the circumstances, I took one as Aunt Kate lit it for me. I could see her hands shaking. I inhaled slowly trying to calm down as I blew out smoke. We smoked for a few minutes in silence. "Let's not keep the Dr waiting," she said and led me back in.

"Mr. Alten, it seems you have suffered the loss of your testicles but appear otherwise to be in reasonable shape. Whilst Frank and your aunt have suggested some changes, you will understand that you have just passed your 18th birthday and have to decide for yourself what you want." He was looking directly at me as he spoke.

"What do you think Dr? Should I go for these changes?" I asked quietly

"Well, we can do any procedure you wish. However, I must tell you that there are many men that live quite comfortably without their testicles. They can't father children, but are able to get some kind of erection and live normal lives There are also many other ways to satisfy their partners. You have had some massive trauma there and only time will tell if there is any permanent damage to your penis. There are certain protocols and procedures for SRS and they take years. So this is also a consideration." After a short pause, the doctor continued, "So did you have any thoughts of a sex change prior to this event? Did you ever show interest in being female? Dress as one or have sexual relations as a female?"

"No, doctor, I never thought about it. I haven't had any sexual relations with boys or girls. I only dressed as a girl once for Halloween with my cousin when I was sixteen."

"Well," the doctor said, "then even more reason to consider your options carefully. This a big turn of events but there are many in your position who have lived happily as males."

"Are any of these operations reversible?" I had to know.

"Well, some are; others aren't. You can take hormones of course and up to a point, the effects will dissipate over time when you stop taking them. After that time, it will be more difficult. We can enhance the breasts and after some time remove the saline sacs. There may be loose skin, but that can be reversed. Facial structure probably not much. Once we remove the penis that is of course final. Although there are now substitutes that are used by female to male transsexuals. In any event, you should do these in stages allowing your body and mind plenty of time to adjust.

"Can I think about this and let you know?" I asked quietly. I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do. It seemed so confusing, permanent

"Mr. Alten, these are not easy decisions and you are still very young. This event is also only a couple of months old and still fresh in your mind. So I suggest you think on this deeply, talk with your family and friends and get back to me. There is no hurry." The Dr closed his file. The interview was over.

Aunt Kate and I left and found a coffee shop not far away. I was really depressed now. We found a corner table, ordered coffee and just looked at each other.

Aunt Kate broke the silence. "Look, Gerry, I know it is tough but we have to face reality. It is a serious step I know. But, sorry to say, you weren't much of a guy anyway. You would start a new life, a new job and can find some friends. Frank has some friends that also may be able to offer you a job in their bar."

I stared at her. It seems she and Frank had made up their minds. I was going to become a female. So many things were going through my mind but I never questioned their motivations. Was being a receptionist or bartender the only jobs I could get? I could do these jobs as a male, couldn't I?

"Look Gerry, I have a suggestion. Let me dress you up with some nice clothes and all and then you can decide if you can want it permanently. What do you think?" Aunt Kate was all smiles now. She didn't suggest that I think about it. I nodded absently not really sure what I wanted. I had enjoyed dressing up before and had nothing better to do now. How many choices did I have? "Annie has left some stuff too that you could use. You seem to be similar in size. She won't mind."

I nodded. I recalled dressing up the last time but that was for a totally different reason. As a sixteen year old, and with Annie at my side encouraging me, of course I was excited. My parents thought it would be a big laugh.

"So, why don't you go home and relax. Have a good soak and remove all the hairs from your body and legs -- everything below your eyebrows. Use the Nair in the bathroom. Don't get any on your head or eyebrows but get to all parts, between your cheeks also." I wasn't sure why between my cheeks was necessary but Aunt Kate was all business now. "I need to get some things and will see you in a couple of hours. I took the afternoon off." I sat there and watched her leave. She seemed quite determined to turn me into a fulltime woman. I was confused but curious at the same time. It could get me out of the funk I was in.

And then there was Frank. I wasn't sure of his motivation either. I knew that whatever the past, I owed Frank something. I couldn't have taken Jake on. But there was something sinister in Frank and I was frightened of him. No telling what would happen if he was angry. I left the coffee shop and walked the 30 minutes to the apartment, trying to clear my head and focus my thoughts. I had a lot to do before Aunt Kate returned.

I used the Nair all over as Aunt Kate suggested, including around my face and genitals. After a short time and shower I saw all my body hair disappear. I didn't have much but now had a smooth face and body. I had only started to shave recently and once or twice a week was enough. I moisturized and felt the silkiness of my skin. It felt good. I wore a T shirt and shorts.

Aunt Kate arrived laden with bags. What had she bought and more interestingly where did she get the money? She worked part time and was comfortable but she always said she didn't have 'spare money.' She spread the bags over the bed. This was getting serious for a trial. Aunt Kate was opening the bags and spreading all the clothes and boxes on the bed.

"OK, this is a little loan against your trust fund. Now strip." She was serious. I didn't even think how she had wanted to access my fund. I knew she got an allowance for my upkeep. I removed my T shirt but kept the shorts on. Aunt Kate had me turn around and inspected me from all angles to ensure I was hairless.

Aunt Kate opened some boxes and showed me the two lifelike breast forms. "These are made of silicon and were quite expensive. I think we can glue them on to your chest. I also got a foam pair as you can't keep them glued on for many days at a time. The silicone ones are nicer of course."

"This is just a trial. Why can't we put them into a bra?" I was getting anxious about Aunt Kate's enthusiasm to turn me into a girl quickly.

"Well, if you are going to take a big decision that will affect the rest of your life, you had better know what the real thing might feel like. This is as close as we can get." I couldn't argue with her reasoning. "But first, put on these panties." She then asked me to remove my shorts, pull my "thing" between my legs and step into these panties. They were tight and showed no sign of a big bulge underneath. Without the ball sac it wasn't too uncomfortable. I wasn't big down there anyway.

Aunt Kate then glued the two large rubber mounds onto my chest. They appeared large as I looked down but they also felt natural. The box kid had 38C written on a label. I could barely see the edges. Then came a bra which helped support the weight of those breasts. "We may need to get you something to nip in your waist," she said. "You're thin but you may want a better shape later."

"Put these sandals on and sit down here." She showed me some open toe sandals with a 3" heel and back strap. They fit quite well. I remembered Annie had given me some of her stuff for that Halloween party. I slipped them on, found my balance and sat down in front of the mirror.