A Girl who SquirtsbyHeyAll©
When she arrived at the apartment and saw that her roommate had done the laundry, she knew she was fucked.
Jane had just finished her last college class for the day and her heart sunk after seeing that her roommate had taken away all the bed sheets to wash. Laundry day was supposed to be tomorrow. Not today!
She changed her clothes into something more relaxed: pajama pants along with a Star Wars t-shirt, and bunny slippers on her feet. She wasn't exactly a dork, but she wasn't the most popular girl on campus either.
She was simply normal Jane.
Her roommate Christine had returned with a basket full of their laundry, including the bedsheets, and Jane didn't know how to feel. She didn't know whether to be angry or embarrassed. It wasn't until Christine brought the laundry to Jane's room that they had a chance to talk about it.
"You remember that laundry day is tomorrow, right?" Jane asked, trying not to flip out over the whole thing.
Christine put the basket down, relieving her arms. "Yeah, I know."
"Then why did you wash everything today?"
"I don't know. Why not?"
Jane tensed. "Oh, well, okay."
"Why? Is something bothering you?"
"Nothing at all," Jane said, shaking her head fast.
"Are you sure?"
"Yep, I'm sure."
Christine put her hands on her hips. "Look, it's okay if you pissed in your bed last night. It's not a big deal. A lot of college girls piss in their beds, I think. You were probably having a nightmare when it happened. Forget it."
The worst was confirmed. The roommate saw the wet stain on the sheets. Jane sat her butt down on the bed and buried her face in her hands.
"Oh god," she moaned, wanting to cry.
Christine, being the good friend that she is, sat down beside Jane and rubbed her back.
"Don't be embarrassed, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We're all human beings."
Jane took a deep breath and sat upright. "So you saw it? I mean, you actually saw it."
"By accident, I guess. I went inside your room to borrow your panties and saw the stain on the center of your bed. I didn't want you sleeping in your own piss tonight, so I did laundry a day early. Big deal."
"It's not piss," Jane mumbled under her breath.
"I said it's not piss."
"So you spilled water or juice?" Christine asked. "I guess I did the laundry early for nothing. Oh well."
Jane shook her head. "It's not that either."
"Jeez, this whole thing is turning into a freaking mystery. What the hell was it then?"
"I played with myself," she mumbled.
"Huh? I can't hear you again."
Jane spoke up. "I played with myself."
"That's what made the mess."
Christine's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "No way."
"You freaking squirted!"
There was a perverse sense of delight in Christine's tone and facial expressions, which only made Jane feel more embarrassed over the whole situation.
"Please don't make this any worse," Jane sighed.
"Worse? Are you kidding? That's so cool."
"What's cool about squirt? Gosh, I don't even like calling it that."
"Squirt is the appropriate name."
Jane playfully rolled her eyes. "Whatever it's called, let's stop talking about it already. I'm already humiliated."
"But why? It's so cool."
"Christine, I love you like my sister, but I'm going to throw you out of my room if you don't quit it."
"My god, someone has brainwashed you, am I right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Someone brainwashed you into thinking you're a freak. Well, actually you are a freak- the hot kind of freak."
"You're relentless," Jane sighed. "And I guess it's sort of my own insecurity. And you're right, I did have an ex-boyfriend who was grossed out by it. I mean, we had sex a few times and once he made me orgasm so hard that I ruined his bed. Needless to say that it didn't last long between us after that."
"Well, Jane, he's an asshole and an idiot. Seriously, you're a goddess."
"Easy for you to say. You're not the one with the extra cleanup duties."
"Actually, I did the laundry today, remember?" Christine quipped.
"Oh yeah. You know what I mean though. I'm the one who has to live with it."
"Would you masturbate more if squirting wasn't an issue?"
Jane shrugged, "Probably. I mean, sometimes if it's been a long day and I'm in bed, the last thing I want to do is position a towel on the bed and then rinse myself in the shower afterwards."
"Why not just masturbate in the shower or bath?"
"Seriously? I'll turn into a prune with all that warm water."
"Why not masturbate in the bathtub with no water?"
"My back will hurt," Jane replied. "Enough about my masturbation habits. This is so intrusive on my privacy."
"We share everything though."
Jane rolled her eyes lovingly. "Maybe I'll just write a diary of my masturbation routine and give it to you for Christmas. How about that?"
"That was a joke."
"Why are you so obsessed with this?" Jane asked. "It just seems so...bizarre."
"What seems bizarre? My obsession with this or the fact that you squirt when you cum."
Jane blushed at the flagrant reminder. "Both!"
"Hang on a second. I'll let you know when I'm ready."
"Are you going now?"
Christine stood up. "Yep."
"Good. I'll bolt the door shut when you leave."
"Nonsense. I'll call you in ten minutes."
Christine left the room and Jane took a minute to relish her moment of privacy. How utterly humiliating. Then she took a moment to make her bed with the freshly washed bedsheet. At least it smelled nice and the squirt stain was gone.
After several peaceful minutes later, Jane was disturbed from listening to the latest Depeche Mode album on her headphones, when a text from Christine came.
my room. now
Jane texted back: but y
can't. depeche mode. spirit
it will still be there when you return. come now (no pun intended!)
Jane took a moment to wonder if that pun was intentional or not, given her orgasmic revelation earlier. But she didn't want to dwell on her roommate's tasteless humor of bodily functions. Instead, she got up and dragged her feet over to her roommate's bedroom and entered through the open door.
There was Christine on the bed, laptop in front of her.
"Here, sit beside me." she said.
Jane sat next to her friend. "What's going on?"
It only took a split second for Jane to glance at the laptop screen to realize that it was porn. Not only was there porn on the screen, but there were also other porn links set up on multiple open tabs as well.
From a glance, it looked like some classy, tasteful, hipster type porn, with fine art and regular looking people.
"You called me here to look at porn?" Jane asked incredulously. "I'm shocked. You're corrupting my innocent brain."
"Judging by that big stain you left on your bed, porn is the least of your worries."
Jane blushed, "Touché."
"Anyway, behold, masturbation porn."
Christine clicked the mouse and played the first video. It was essentially a tastefully filmed amateur masturbation video of a completely naked middle-aged woman playing with herself in what looked like her actual bedroom. The woman was lying on a bath towel and the video started with her fingers on her clit. Then she went spread-eagle and really started working her fingers inside. It was a simple yet effective technique.
After a few minutes of staring at the screen awkwardly, the woman finally came. It was a real orgasm too. The woman moaned and cried. A rush of fluids gushed from her pussy and made a wet mess all over the bed. Luckily the bath towel was there to catch most of the fluids.
When it was over, the woman looked so satisfied and relieved. She smiled to the camera and said some nice words to the viewer. Someone was working the camera and zoomed in on the spent pussy, showing wet marks everywhere.
The clip ended with a close up of the woman's face. She winked at the camera with a sly grin and the clip ended.
"You ruined my Depeche Mode session for this?" Jane questioned. "I have my own porn sites that I visit. I don't need any more recommendations."
Christine raised an eyebrow with a glint in her eye. "Really? Which porn sites do you visit?"
"Nevermind," Jane sighed. "What's the purpose of this anyway? To make me feel better about my situation?"
"There you go. That's your problem. You're referring to your glorious bodily functions as a 'situation,' when the reality is that your squirting abilities are far from a situation. It's a blessing."
"And what makes you say that?"
"A lot of women would kill to orgasm like you do. Seriously, do you know the statistics of women and orgasms? Not all of them can do it regularly. For some, it's extremely difficult."
Jane paused for a moment. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Not only can you orgasm, but your orgasms must be heavenly. Women who squirt feel a heightened sense of pleasure."
"You think so?"
"Let me ask you this," Christine said. "What's the difference between your orgasms when you squirt, and when you don't squirt."
"Squirting is all I know."
Christine leaned back and eyed her friend, taking this revelation in, looking so pleased yet envious. "Lucky you."
"No I'm not. I cum like any other girl. Just wetter. Much wetter. Messy making wet. And it can be a real chore too. You don't know what it's like. Obviously you're not a squirter."
"I wish I was."
"Since you're not a squirter, you can't possibly judge my experience as a sexual being."
Christine shook her head. "You're like a rich person who hates being rich. Sure, there are burdens of being rich, but people would kill for those burdens. Literally. People commit murders everyday for the sake of being rich."
"No one is going to kill to squirt like me."
"Maybe not. But there are millions of envious women in this world who would gladly have your wet problem, if it meant experiencing the blissful pleasure of the human body. God has given you a special gift. Embrace it, Jane."
The truth was, this was exactly what Jane needed to hear. She did know that she was gifted in some ways. Her orgasms always felt good. Actually, better than good. Amazing! If she could bring herself to a climax her day would always become better, her mood uplifted, and her outlook on life much brighter.
But like most college girls, she had her insecurities of her own body. She was already awkward enough being a dork (though not as dorky as her high school years). In college, she made a concerted effort to become a normal human being. For the most part, she succeeded. She found her confidence. With that, she made more friends, was asked on more dates, and was overall less geeky.
Not that there's anything wrong with being a geek. Geeks are sexy too! But it was a question of confidence for Jane.
The whole squirting thing did put a damper on Jane's overall body confidence and self-esteem. How could she fully be a sexual being in an adult relationship if she'd always have to change the bed sheets after sex? She couldn't even fuck in a car or else she'd ruin the seat.
Could millions of women actually be envious of Jane's bodily function? Probably. Most likely. Yes. Jane knew she could cum like no other, and it was time to appreciate that blessing.
Her eyes shifted to the laptop again, towards the self-assured woman on the screen, as the clip was still paused. The woman looked so happy to cum like that. Happy with her body, happy with life. Best of all, she had a partner (the camera person) who loved her for it. A partner who loved her so much, that he or she was willing to share that pleasure with the world, on this public porn site.
Maybe it was time for Jane to feel the same way about her body?
She decided she was finally ready for the next step in her evolution.
"I know, sometimes I can be hard on myself," Jane admitted.
"Acknowledgment is the first step."
First step!? Jane was puzzled and her eyebrow arched.
"First step toward what?"
"I'm putting together a team," Christine said seriously. "Something is happening and we need to prepare. We need members with special skills and abilities. A league of women who can together, solve California's drought problem."
"Jesus, are we talking about masturbation? Or is this a plot for a horrible new comic book movie?"
"It was a joke. Sort of."
"Oh my god, you're such a flipping dork!"
Christine smiled, "On a serious note, I'm going to buy you a vibrator."
"What!? Dear god, no. Please don't."
"If I wanted a vibrator, I'd buy it myself. I don't need you buying sex toys for me."
"Who cares," Christine replied. "We share panties."
"Actually, we don't share panties. You steal mine. Especially the good ones."
"Either way, our pussies have touched the same cloth. That practically makes us sisters."
Jane pondered for a moment. "That actually kind of makes sense. We're pussy sisters, if such a thing actually exists. Sisters of the Same Panties."
"Sisters of the Same Panties? Who's being the dork now? Go back to your room and listen to your new Depeche Mode album. Let me handle the rest."
Jane sighed, "I wish I could live with my parents again."
Then she left, back to her room, back to Depeche Mode. She closed the door to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed, putting her earphones on. She played the upbeat track "So Much Love."
I can't lie / I can't fake / I can't act / My hands shake / This disclosure / I must make / There is so much love in me
As she hummed the chorus, she realized the blatant irony of the lyrics and switched to a different song.
The next day arrived and Jane was pleasantly surprised that her roommate hadn't mentioned the whole squirting thing again, but she was certain the subject would come up again.
She saw her roommate in the morning and still no mention. Maybe it would be a good day.
When she returned from a 4 hour block of college classes, Jane realized that the idea was too good to be true. There was a plastic bag sitting on the table and there was something inside. She didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what it was. Sure enough, the roommate popped into their small living room wearing a casual sundress, having just recently returned home as well.
"Please don't tell me," Jane sighed, taking her shoes off.
"It's a sex toy."
"Please, not this again."
"You don't even know what it is."
Jane shrugged. "I can guess."
The mystery came to an end when Christine removed the bag's contents. Turns out, it was no mystery at all. Christine held up a new box with a vibrator inside.
"Behold," Christine smiled. "My gift to you."
"Not just any vibrator. It's a rabbit vibrator."
"Is that supposed to make a difference?" Jane inquired.
"Here, let's have a look."
Christine tore open the package and used scissors to cut the tough plastic part. She tossed the box onto the table and held up the advanced-looking sex device. It was long, thick, and had an extension in the shape of bunny ears to stimulate the clit.
With the batteries inside, Christine activated the vibrator on a low setting, causing the tip to rotate in circles and the extension to vibrate, which would certainly provide tons of pleasure to a woman's clit and pussy.
"Yikes," Jane said, mesmerized by the sight.
"I know, right? The best part is that it's waterproof."
Jane couldn't help but blush. "That's important I guess."
"Very important for what's ahead of us."
Christine nodded. "Yes, us. You and me. This is going to be a team effort."
"Ummm... says who?"
"Says the girl who went inside of a sex shop for the very first time to buy this expensive toy."
"Look, I'll be honest," Christine said. "I'm completely and utterly jealous of your bodily attributes. It's often difficult for me to cum, so that's why I envy you. And to be honest, I'm dying to see it happen in real life. It's long been a fetish of mine, hence my porn viewing habits."
"You want to watch me masturbate and squirt? So... you can get off to it?"
"Are you really serious right now?" Jane questioned in disbelief.
There was a long awkward pause between them and they both looked like they had bitten into some super sour candy.
Christine suddenly tensed and put a hand over her mouth, as if she were gasping in horror.
"God, did I just ruin our friendship? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm such an idiot when I think about sex stuff sometimes."
Jane shook her head. "No, no. You just caught me off guard, that's all. I mean, we've known each other forever. And we'll still be living together for the next few years."
"That doesn't bother me. If anything, it'll bring us closer together."
"True, in an odd way."
"Let's not forget the most important thing," Christine began to explain. "Your whole body image deal. We both know what an insecure beaver you are. Even though you have such an attractive package, you never let yourself believe that. Remember high school prom? You went on and on about how goofy and awkward you felt, even though you looked gorgeous."
Jane blushed furiously, "Keep going."
"How do you expect to blossom into a full grown sexual being if you can't even be comfortable around your own best friend?"
Striking words which struck Jane right in the core. It was exactly what she needed to hear. Exactly what she wanted. And exactly what would convince her to do a thing like this.
Her facial expressions showed that she was beginning to waffle and wave. Christine sensed the momentum change and seized the opportunity.
"What's it going to be?" Christine asked. "Shall I try to return this device? Or shall we have some fun with it?"
Jane paused for a moment. "One condition."
"You have to go first," Jane replied with a smile. "It's more fair that way, and less embarrassing that way."
Christine smiled back, "Deal. Now slip into something more appropriate and meet me in my room. No bra. No panties. It's more comfortable that way. I'll make sure my bed is, ummm, squirt proof."
"Kay kay," she replied back, which was her cute way of saying, 'okay.'
Jane stood upright and tip-toed away, with a sense of embarrassment and excitement flowing in her veins.
It was about ten minutes later when they finally started. Jane went over to her roommate's room, dressed in sweatpants and a tshirt.
For her part, Christine was still wearing the same sundress she had been wearing earlier, barefoot with her arms and calves showing. Casual, yet proper and relaxed.
On the bed, there were two spread-out bath towels laid neatly. It was just like the amateur porn video they had watched yesterday, only more secure. After all, Christine still had no idea how powerful Jane could be, especially with a rabbit vibrator, so the extra precautions were necessary to protect the bed.
"Um, Christine... that's not going to be enough protection."
"Are you serious?!" she replied, looking at Jane in disbelief.
"Well, what would be good protection?"
Jane took the towels and folded both in half once, then in half again, so that it only covered the middle of the bed.
Christine marveled at the new arrangement. "Jesus."
"I know, I know, but I've never used a vibrator before, let alone a powerful one like that. I might, you know, solve California's drought problem."
"We can only hope."
"Our landlord might disagree."
They both laughed at the insane notion of their apartment being ruined by harmless squirt. Then the laughter turned into a moment of awkwardness.
"Time to get serious," Christine said after a deep breath. "Let's begin."
"How should we start?"
Christine pursed her lips. "I'll go first."