A Game of Basketball Pt. 08

If you couldn't tell, this is part 8 of an ongoing series. The story contains a male 18 year old topping a transgender 18 year old girl. You did read that correctly. This story contains anal. If you don't like that, don't read it. It is a really emotion heavy chapter. And really long. Hope you enjoy.

*****

After The Santa Barbara Tournament

After we got home I went straight to bed.

The next few days were a complete blur. I was suspended for the next 4 games and from going to school for 5 days, and no practice. Well, for just the 5 days. Once I can go back to school, I can practice, but I won't be able to play for the next 4 games. I didn't argue. It gave me time to think and I didn't want to speak to Nicole.

She sent me a dozen texts and tried to call me a few times. I didn't answer or respond.

I needed to be alone.

On Christmas, mom had Emily over, we opened presents and had a low key dinner.

Mom, Emily and I traveled up to my grandma's house on Thursday.

The house was packed with my Aunt and Uncle Shauna and Dave Graceson. I wasn't named after my uncle Dave, it's just a pure coincidence. My cousin Jessica and I slept on the couches while her parents took one bedroom and my mother and Emily took the other bedroom. And of course my grandma Maisie slept in her own bedroom.

Grandma Maisie was quick to pull me into a hug and catch my cheeks between her fingers. Why is that grandma's always have to pinch cheeks?

Jess was happy as ever to see me. She told me all about her basketball season and how they were killing it. Not only was she the top scorer, but also leading in assists.

She asked me all about how my season was going.

"I've been watching all the news broadcastings of your games and keeping up with the highlights. You've been killing it!" she says. "I've been meaning to ask you about Nicole! She's trans and she's playing with the boys? I wish I was as brave as her in coming out to the public like that."

"You mean, no one knows you're transgender?" I ask.

She shakes her head no. "After what happened at my old school, I don't think I can go through with that all over again."

"But doesn't keeping all those secrets bottled up inside make you sick?" I ask.

"Yeah, but it's a lot better than all the bullying I got when I came out at my old school. People can be so mean sometimes. Do people pick on Nicole at all?"

"Well, at first they did... But not really anymore." Although, now that everyone knows that she's Kevin... Who knows what's going to happen when winter break ends.

"I wish I went to your school. I mean, San Marcos isn't bad. People are starting to warm up to the LGBT community, but not really the T part just yet."

"You have a lot of friends there, don't you?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I've made lots of friends since we moved," she says.

"Would they still be your friend if they found out about your secrets?" I ask.

She ponders the question for a few minutes. "Yeah. I think so. At least my closest friends would be, like this boy named Kevin who lives next door. He's so sweet."

What are the odds that her best friend is named Kevin? I can't help but laugh at the coincidence.

"What?" She stares at me as if I'm crazy.

"It's nothing, it's just my best friend's name was Kevin."

"Was?" she asks.

I pause for a moment to consider whether I should tell her or not, but I decide what could it hurt. I explain to her how I found out that Nicole was Kevin and how she lied to me for the entire school year.

"She probably didn't feel comfortable letting people know her dead name."

"Dead name?" I ask.

"Yeah, the name she was assigned when everyone believed she was a boy," she says. "You don't know what it's like to know deep down that you're a girl even though the rest of the world sees you as a boy. And on top of that, you have to live with a boy's name attached to you. And every time someone uses it, it reminds you that to them you're not a girl. And most people use it as a weapon to hurt you."

After a moment of silence, she continues. "I can imagine that she desperately wants to forget the name Kevin because that's not who she is anymore."

"You're right," I sigh.

"I know," she laughs.

"When did you get so wise?" I ask.

"It kind of comes with the territory."

"I still don't get why should couldn't have told me. I mean, I just thought she trusted me enough to tell me the truth. It's not like I didn't know she was transgender."

"I can't really speak for Nicole. I just know how nerve racking it can be to let someone in. Sometimes you trust the wrong people and they end up hurting you."

"Are you sure you're only a freshman in high school? You sound a lot more mature."

"Ha, that's because most freshman can be total children."

My mom, Aunt Shauna, and grandma Maisie all work to prepare dinner while my Uncle Dave grills chicken. It doesn't take long before everything's ready.

As we sit around the dinner table, Uncle Dave asks me about basketball. "Everything was going great. We won our first few games and had an undefeated record until last Saturday. We played against Santa Barbara and..." My mind screams at me in anger about all the shit that went down that game.

"Brett and Dave ended up getting into another fight. Both got ejected and suspended for 2 games," my mother says.

"We ended up losing our first game," I tell them.

"Ehhh, it happens. Siblings fight, Abby and I fought all the time," Uncle Dave says.

"Ha, I could get you two to spend 5 minutes in the same room together without bickering," Grandma Maisie says.

"Sarah and I never fought," Jessica says.

An awkward silence took over the room at the mention of Sarah. "We all miss Sarah, sweety," Aunt Shauna says.

"Then how come we never talk about her?" Jess asks. I can tell she's upset. Even though Sarah died over a year ago, it still stings as if it were yesterday.

"Now's not a good time, honey," Uncle Dave says.

"When is a good time?" she asks as she stands up. "You guys fight all the time, but you never actually talk about what happened! I'm sick of pretending she doesn't exist."

"No one's forgotten about Sarah, honey," Aunt Abby says.

"It sure feels like it," Jess says as she gets up from the table and rushes out the backdoor.

I quickly get up and follow her out. She's sitting on the steps of the back patio crying.

"Hey," I say to her.

"Hey..."

I sit down next to her and we just sit there for a few minutes in silence.

"Do you ever miss your brothers?" she asks.

"All the time. I even miss Brett sometimes. As much as we fight, he's still my brother. It's okay to miss Sarah. She was an amazing person."

She leans her head against my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her. Her problems make mine seem so trivial.

I wish things could go back to when they were much simpler. Sitting on Grandma Maisie's porch and looking out in the woods we used to play in brings back memories of the good times. "Remember when the 5 off us used to explore the woods and pretend we were going out on adventures?" I ask her.

"Ha, yeah. We'd pretend to be Jedi or elves in a hunting party. You and Brett would always fight on who's the leader," she laughs. "Oh and that time Zach tried to climb that giant tree and fell, breaking his arm."

"Yeah, and then we had to carry him back while he cried like a little baby. He screamed bloody murder. 'I'm dying!' ." We share a good laugh. "But somehow Sarah always knew how to calm him down. Those were the good ole days"

"Why did we have to grow up?" she asks.

"Good question..."

"Thanks, Dave! I needed this."

"Anytime Jess, anytime."

As we walked back in they were watching the news when a breaking story came on the air. "Breaking news, several planes have incurred engine failures in the middle of their flights. We have reports of at least 10 flights having mid-air engine failures. At least three of those planes have crashed. And others are still in the air."

My phone goes off. It's Zach! I quickly answer it. "Dave! I don't have a whole lot of time... I just.. I love you, man."

"Zach! What's going on?"

"I don't know, the plane... It lost power... I'm scared, Dave."

"Is dad with you?" I ask.

"Yeah... He's on the phone with Brett."

I hear a lot of commotion in the background. I put the phone on speaker. I hear people screaming.

"Dave! One of the engines just caught fire! I... I think we're going down."

"Honey!" my mom says into the phone.

"Mom?"

"Yes, baby. I'm right here."

"I love you, mom!"

"I love you too, just stay on the phone." Tears fall from my mother's eyes as we all realize the severity of the situation. "Just talk to us."

'We're looking at a live video of flight #859 Denver to Chicago as it descends. It looks like the left wing engine has caught on fire. The captain has reported that there are 89 souls aboard and that they are losing altitude and won't make it to the closest airport. They're going to have to make a crash landing,' the reporter says.

"Dave! Dad says he loves you and he's sorry. He wishes he could have been a better father."

"Tell him it's alright. Everything is going to be okay."

I watch helplessly as their plane falls from the sky.

What about Zatar, the golden hero? He'll save them! I just know it. It can't end like this.

"Dave... I don't think you'll be able to watch my games after all."

"Don't say that! You're going to make it through this."

The plane descends closer and closer to the ground as I can do nothing more than try to comfort my little brother. Where is he? Where's the hero that's supposed to save them?

"Dave... I..."

The commercial airline crashes hard into the ground and quickly becomes engulfed in flames.

"Zach! Zach, talk to me!" The phone goes blank. Our connection is lost. I hear my mother cry out as she drops to her knees. Emily rushes over to her.

The phone slips from my fingers and skids across the floor.

Everything feels so surreal. As if it's all just one big nightmare.

Like I will wake up tomorrow and everything will be back to normal.

My world is fallen apart and there's nothing I can do about it.

Why?

Why did it have to be Zach and my dad on that plane?

Fuck... My dad... I never forgave him.

He told me he was proud of me. That's all I ever wanted when I was a kid. To make him proud. And all he wanted was for me to forgive him.

I should have just told him I loved him. I should have forgiven him at the tournament.

This can't end like this.

It just can't.

Arms wrap around my waist and pull me into an embrace. Nicole... I open my eyes to see Jessica's tear filled face.

She more than anyone knows what it's like to lose a sibling. I hold onto her.

If I could only erase the past and change all the things that went wrong. I would've fixed our family. I would have stayed and helped my dad through whatever hell he was going through. I would have stayed with Zach and Brett. I would have never blamed Kevin for the things that happened. I would have told him to become herself. I would have loved her. We could have been happy.

I used to think I was strong, but after it, all went wrong... I don't know anymore.

I don't think I can pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

--

I don't remember how the rest of the weekend went. I don't even remember going to sleep that night. Ever since Zach and my dad died, I've felt numb.

I know it's only been a couple of days, but it feels like an eternity went by. Nicole sent me at least 20 text messages and tried calling me half a dozen times, but I just can't talk to her right now. Coach has tried calling me as well along with most of my teammates.

I just don't want to talk to anyone right now.

I don't even know what I would say.

School started back up today, but I couldn't pull myself back together enough to attend. Besides, I'm still suspended for 5 days so I won't be able to go until next Wednesday.

I just can't stop thinking about Zach. What was he going to say to me? He wanted to say something.

Why couldn't he have just come with us to grandma Maisie's?

He'd still be here if had.

The next basketball game is this Friday. Not that I can play, since I've been suspended for 2 games.

I don't know if I'll go watch. Basketball just seems so trivial right now.

I don't even remember why I played in the first place.

No... I do know why. It was my parents who talked us into sports. Both my mom and dad played basketball in high school. My dad was always the one who pushed us. He'd never told us if we did a good job. Just constantly telling us where we could improve. I just wanted to make him proud.

To prove to him how good I could be.

It all seems so pointless now.

I hear a knock at the front door. Through the thin walls, I can hear my mother answer it. "Hi, is Dave there?" It's Nicole! I recognize her voice anywhere.

"I'm sorry Nicole, he doesn't want to be disturbed right now. I'll let him know you stopped by."

"Thank you. How are you holding up? I saw what happened on the news. It feels like it was literally yesterday we had dinner with Zach."

"It's been hard, but we're both holding on. Thank you for asking."

"If there's anything I can do, please just let me know."

"That's awfully kind of you, Nicole. But we're hanging in there. I'll let Dave know you stopped by."

"Okay, thank you."

I hear the sound of the door closing.

The sound of my mom crying echoes through the walls.

I hear her footsteps followed by a knock on my door. "Dave, sweety."

She opens the door. "How are you doing, honey?"

I look up at her as she walks into my room and sits down on the edge of my bed. "I don't know. I don't really feel like talking about it."

"That's fine. Nicole just stopped by. She's worried about you."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I know, sweetheart. But you really should hear her out."

I look up at her. "Why? She lied to me. I thought I knew her, but I didn't even know she was really Kevin."

"I'm sure she had her reasons. I also got off of the phone from your father's parents. They're planning on having the funeral on Sunday. Visitation will be Saturday night."

"Where?"

"Down in Santa Barbara,"

"What's Brett going to do? Is he going to move in with us?"

"No, I talked with him earlier, he's going to stay at a friends house for the rest of the year."

--

It's Friday and I still haven't gone to school. My mom somehow managed to pull herself together long enough to go to work. I don't know how she does it.

I look at the clock as it just turns 3:30 PM. I've been in bed all day.

I hear someone knock at the door.

I don't even care.

They're persistent. They won't stop knocking.

It feels like someone turned up the volume on earth's gravity. I feel so heavy. It takes everything I've got just to get out of bed.

It's a struggle just to make my way to the door.

As I open it, the light of the sun blinds me.

Bright blue eyes with strands of dark brown hair covering one side of her face while the other side is buzzed. Steampunk style. Her creamy caramel skin looks as smooth as ever.

"Dave, I'm so sorry. For everything." Her eyes fill with water as she stands before me in black sweets and a sleeveless white t. "Please, just talk to me."

"I need some time, Nicole."

"Please, Dave! No one else on the team will even talk to me. I miss you. I just..." Her eyes fall to the ground as tears roll down her cheeks. "I just don't want to lose you."

After a brief silence, she looks back up at me. "Will you at least come to our game tonight. I know you're still suspended, but that doesn't mean you can't watch us."

"I don't know... Zach and my father's funeral is this weekend." She looks as if she's going to shatter. A feeling I know all too well.

"It is? Would you care if I came? I mean, obviously, I can drive myself."

"I don't think that's a good idea. It's just... With Brett and all, you probably shouldn't come."

"You're right... Are you going to come back to school?" she asks. "The winter formal is next weekend. Even if you don't want to come with me, you should still go."

"I'll have to go back to school eventually, I'm just not ready right now."

"I understand..." she says. "Just please take care of yourself. You look so... "

"Thanks for stopping by, Nicole. Good luck with the game tonight." I shut the door without letting her finish. My heart is too heavy, I can't take anymore. I place my head against the door. I can still feel her presence just outside the door. I can feel her pain. I don't know why, but whenever we're close like this, it's like there's some kind of connection between us.

And when she's gone, it's like there's a hole in my chest. Of course these days it feels like there's nothing left to feel. I feel so heavy and yet I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

Finally, she leaves and I can breathe.

I lean my back against the door and slide down to the floor. I bury my face in my arms and let the tears fall.

Why can't I just let her in?

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Eventually, I pull myself out only to collapse back in my bed.

---

Dream

Smoke fills the air as the fire burns. A world in flames. Ashes fall like rain. Screams pierce through the air like blades.

Two men are strapped to cross, fire surrounds them as shouts of agony escape their lips.

Zach! Dad! Their burning!

"This is your fault!" I turn around and see Nicole. Only she's changed. She's got horns growing out of her head. Her eyes burn with fury. Her body is ablaze. "You could have saved them. You could have saved me!"

"Where were you! Why didn't you save us?" she screams at me.

"How? How could I have saved you?" I shout back. "I don't have the power. I'm... I'm only human."

She drops to her knees and reaches out to me. "Speak your name and claim your power before it's too late."

Suddenly she bursts into flames with screams of anguish as the demon with horns ablaze tears through the fire. His eyes full of hate and terror spills from his mouth as his talon clawed fingers reach out and take hold of my arm. Searing, burning, pain courses through me. My blood boils as fire courses through my veins.

I inhale a lung full of air as I shoot up from my bed. Drenched in sweat, my heart beating with fury. My arm! It looks as if someone burned my skin. Like a hand.

That can't be right. It was only a dream. Or was it?

I look at the clock and it reads 6:50 PM. The game starts in ten minutes!

I grab a fresh pair of clothes and toss them on. Along with a sweatshirt to hide my arm and rush out the door.

I fire up the moped and peel out of the driveway. It takes me all of 10 minutes to get to the gym.

At the Game

I pull the hoodie over my head as I sneak into the gym. The game has already started. Nicole's in at the shooting guard position and Jason's taking up point. He dribbles up the court, calling out wing.

The team gets into position. Austin sets a perfect pick for Jeremy while Finn hardly even gets in the way of Nicole's man. Jason dishes it to Jeremy who pulls up. His shot misses. The other team gets the rebound and pushes it up the court.

Northgate carves up our defense and gains the lead, putting the first points on the board.

Finn shouts something at Nicole as they rush back on offense. I can only imagine what kind of vulgar obscenity came out of his mouth.

As Jason gets the inbound pass, he drives it up and passes it to Jeremy. Nicole's open, but instead Jeremy drives it in the lane and loses control of the ball. A Northgate player grabs it and passes it down to their point guard. He takes advantage of the situation by rushing past Jason and putting it in for another two points.