A Blind Date for the Holidays

Only now, I was far from my old hometown. They'd never know. It was oddly intoxicating to realize that. I knew that part of why I moved here was to get away from my parents who could be a bit overbearing at times. Janet insisted it was more than just a bit, but in either case, this would be the first time I'd done something my parents wouldn't approve of since moving here. Well, other than not leaving as soon as I learned Billie was a lesbian.

"I really shouldn't," I hemmed and hawed, trying not to picture how angry my parents would be if they ever found out. I might be almost twenty-five, but I was still their little girl.

"Come on, you know you want to," Billie teased, clearly amused by my reaction.

"Well," I said slowly, meeting her dark orbs and smiling despite myself. "I guess so. I mean, I'm still not really sure I'm sober enough to drive anyway."

I don't know what I was expecting, but Billie's motorcycle was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. It was also black which somehow suited her. I didn't know much about motorcycles, but I saw that it was a Harley.

"It's a Softail Deluxe," she explained, seeing my interest. "I've been thinking about switching to a Street Glide, but I haven't made up my mind yet."

"You do realize I have no idea what you're talking about, right?"

"Don't worry about it," Billie laughed as she watched my growing excitement. That lasted until I noticed something.

"I don't see any helmets."

"I didn't bring one tonight," she replied with a shrug. "I own a couple, but I only wear one when I'm going on long trips out of state."

"That's stupid," I said without thought. "It's just as dangerous not having one on for a short trip." My outburst made her laugh again for some reason.

"I like the feel of the wind in my hair." She couldn't be serious, could she? It was so dangerous!

"Isn't it illegal not to wear one?" I wasn't just stalling. The idea of getting on a motorcycle was scary enough, but to do it without a helmet seemed downright crazy.

"Depends on the state. It's not illegal here, but it is for a lot of the neighboring states," she explained. "That's one of the reasons why I wear one when I go on long trips."

"Um, I think maybe we should take my car." Billie was watching me. I think she could see the war I was having with myself.

"We can if you want, but the dance club I'm thinking of isn't far and you seemed pretty excited about riding on my motorcycle a few moments ago." Billie was looking at me, waiting to see how I responded. I was tempted despite how nervous the idea made me. She saw and added, "I bet you'd love the feel of the wind through your hair."

"My hair doesn't do well in the wind. I'll look like a witch by the time we arrive." Not that I thought she was wrong about how much I'd enjoy it. Still, was that a good enough reason to risk it?

The answer was obvious. I wasn't one to take crazy chances. I was about to tell her that we needed to take my car when I saw the challenge in her eyes. I saw something else there as well, but I refused to dwell on its' the meaning. Instead, despite my misgiving, I said, "Fine, but if we ever go on another ride, you have to promise to bring helmets, for both of us."

"Deal," Billie agreed easily, making ready to get on her motorcycle.

"One sec," I said, reaching into my bag and pulling out a tie for my hair. Sure, I wanted to feel the wind in my hair, but I needed to be somewhat presentable when we arrived at the club. Billie had no idea what the wind would do to my long wavy hair.

It didn't take long for me to tie it up. I frowned when I noticed the way Billie watched me do it. She must have seen my discomfort because she turned away, but not before I saw a grin spreading across her lips.

Billie took my purse and stowed it away before showing me how to get on the motorcycle. She made sure I knew where to put my feet and warned me where not to touch. I was wearing a blue, mid-thigh skirt so getting on was going to be a bit of a challenge. The fact that I had on sliding shorts underneath made me less self-conscious about wearing something so short, but still, I expected that it would leave little to the imagination when I straddled Billie's motorbike.

My pale-yellow sleeveless top was a little flimsy for riding a motorcycle. I'd left my jacket at home since it was supposed to be such a beautiful night, but I figured I'd survive. Apparently, Billie disagreed because she pulled out her leather jacket from one of the saddle bags and handed it to me. It was surprisingly heavy, but that didn't stop me from nodding in thanks and putting it on.

Billie climbed onto her motorcycle first and then held it steady while I got behind her. It was a bit tricky in the skirt, but I managed.

"You're going to need to wrap your arms around my waist or you'll fall off," Billie said, looking at me over her shoulder. "Don't worry, I promise not to read too much into it." I don't know why, but the way she said it made me blush.

That didn't stop me from doing what she said, although I didn't squeeze hard. I was self-conscious about pressing my breasts against her back even considering I was wearing her heavy, leather jacket. That only lasted until we actually started moving. At that point, I squealed and grabbed on tight.

"You okay back there?" she asked as we picked up speed.

"I'm great!" I cried, excited by my first motorcycle ride. It was even better than I expected. I forgot about my fear. "This is so cool!"

That made her laugh as she picked up more speed. We weren't really going that fast, but it was a ride I'd never forget. There were a lot of things about it that made it special along with it being my first time on a motorcycle.

I couldn't hold back the grin that split my face as my curly hair blew crazily despite my having tied it up. I'd curse about it later, but right now it just added to the exhilaration that took hold as we streaked down the road.

The powerful motorcycle vibrating between my legs felt a little decadent and naughty. So did having my arms wrapped around Billie's flat stomach, but I didn't dwell on that part, or at least I tried not to. It wasn't easy with us sitting so close.

The road started twisting. I saw it coming, but I was enjoying myself so much that instead of being afraid I did what came naturally. I leaned into the turns. It's what I remembered doing when I was a kid on my bicycle, especially when I was trying to keep up with my brother Paul and his friends.

They didn't like me tagging along with them. Thinking about it now, it was pretty funny, but back then it used to piss me off, a lot. I hated the way their longer legs made it easier for them to go faster.

Billie leaned into the turns as well which was no surprise. What was, was the fact that we moved so well together, like we'd been doing it for years. My chest was pressed against her back as I continued to hold on to her narrow waist and we shifted from side to side, moving as one. I lost myself in the feel of the wind, the road and Billie.

We arrived at the club far faster than I would have liked. Billie smiled at my disappointed look as she helped me off the bike. She quickly joined me, taking the jacket back and putting it away before handing me my purse.

"My hair must be a mess."

"It's fine," Billie said, but then she paused and frowned. I guess it must have been pretty bad if she didn't stick with the lie. "Well, there are a few strands you might want to fix."

I leaned forward toward the small mirror on the handle bars of the motorcycle. We weren't in the brightest part of the parking lot, but I could see well enough. My hair was not good. I did my best to straighten it with my fingers. I looked at Billie for confirmation that I fixed the worst of it once I was done.

I swallowed as she leaned closer and lifted her hand to fix a strand I missed. She wasn't quite looking at me in the same way as when she leaned over the table at the restaurant, but there was something in her expression and I felt the same flutter deep in my belly. I should have ignored it. I knew that, but just this once I let myself enjoy the sensation.

I tried to convince myself that it was just the excitement from the combination of the ride here and somewhat drunken state, but that didn't explain my attraction to Billie. Yes, my attraction. I could deny it all I wanted, but the truth was the truth. I had no idea what to do about it, or even if I wanted to do anything about it.

Billie was checking to see if any other hairs were out of place when our eyes met. Her dark orbs locked with mine. I'm not sure what she found there, but it must have been something to catch her attention the way it did. Billie's expression softened briefly before a slow, sensual smile spread across her shapely lips. She moved closer.

"What are you doing?" My question came out rushed and a little breathless.

"I'm going to kiss you." Billie's answer stunned me, but no more than my body's reaction to her words. My nipples stiffened enough to be noticeable if anyone were looking and the flutter in my belly turned into a warm glow of something I didn't want to name.

Billie moved closer and I felt a pang of anticipation and fear that nearly overwhelmed me. I couldn't let this happen. What would my parents do if they ever heard? More to the point, was I willing to accept what it meant about me? Would I still be me afterward?

"But..."

"Shh." Billie placed two of her fingers against my lips silencing me before dropping her hand back to her side. "Think of it as an experiment. If it grosses you out or you don't like it, I'll back off and never try it again."

"Like you and Janet back in high school." The words slipped out of my mouth. "Will we be able to be friends afterward?"

"I doubt we'll ever be just friends," Billie replied confidently, leaning even closer. Her lips were only inches from mine. My pulse was beating so fast I could actually hear it. "Not with the way you look at me."

The way I was looking at her? What did Billie mean? I was about to ask her when her lips touched mine and all thoughts of talking disappeared.

There was no way I should have been surprised when Billie's lips brushed against mine. After all, she'd out and out told me she was going to kiss me, but I guess a part of me deep down still didn't believe.

Her lips were soft and insistent and I was horrified, but not because I didn't like the kiss. It was because I wasn't remotely grossed out by the feel of her lips against mine. No, I liked it. I liked it a lot. I felt my body react in ways I'd only dreamed about.

I wasn't a virgin. I slept with a few guys. Usually, I told myself it was because I loved them, but the truth was that I was just drunk at the time and hoped I would. It never worked out. Worse, I never really enjoyed what happened all that much. I told myself it was because I hadn't met the right guy, but I think deep down I knew the truth. I'd just been very good at hiding it from everyone, especially myself. Well, except Janet.

Billie's kiss grew more aggressive and instead of pulling away like I should have, I found myself parting my lips ever so slightly. That was all Billie needed to take the kiss to the next level. She wrapped her hands around my waist and pulled me into her. Her tongue pushed past the little resistance I offered and our mouths locked together.

I lost track of time for a while. Who am I kidding? I lost track of pretty much everything except Billie. I loved the feel of her hands holding me tight against her. My body responded to her touch. The fluttering in my gut turned into full blown need and my nipples stiffened to the point that I was afraid Billie could feel them through our shirts.

Her close proximity was more intoxicating than any wine I'd ever tasted. Something inside of me yearned for Billie in ways I can't explain. It felt incredible. It also scared me to death.

I'm not sure what would have happened if this had occurred anywhere else other than a parking lot, but thankfully it didn't, so the moment had to end. At least that's what I told myself despite the fact that Billie continued to deepen our kiss, trying to claim me for her own. My resistance was minimal, but still there.

"Now that's a damn shame." The deep voice startled me enough to make me pull back from Billie. She let go reluctantly. I'd never felt such a strong a mix of disappointment and relief. I forced my attention away from Billie and focused on the guy who'd spoken. He was obviously on his way into the dance club.

"What is?" Billie snapped. I didn't think she was really mad at the guy, only annoyed that he interrupted.

"That you two are off the market," the guy grinned. "You're both fine looking women."

"What makes you think you'd have a chance even if we weren't?" Billie sounded calmer, but her irritation at his arrival still had her on edge. Well, either that or she was flirting. The thought caused a sudden surge of jealousy. It washed over me like a tidal wave. I was completely unprepared for it.

I knew Billie had no interest in the guy. Yet, I felt what I felt despite the illogic of it. I was already in shock over the emotions Billie had caused in me all night, especially when she kissed me, but this was too much. I felt an odd kind of numbness settle over me.

"Oh, I'd have more than a chance." The guy didn't seem offended. In fact, he laughed.

You had to give him points for cockiness. Not that it didn't make sense. There was no arguing that he was handsome. The fact that he was tall, blond and well-muscled didn't hurt either. I was sure he'd have his pick of the women inside. "I could have shown you both a great time. It's too bad you're lesbians."

"I'm not a lesbian." The words came out automatically. The guy seemed surprised, but it was Billie's reaction that was more telling. She looked momentarily hurt, but then smiled sadly.

"That's not true, no matter how much you want it to be." Her voice was surprisingly calm. "A straight girl doesn't react to a kiss from another woman the way you do."

"I'm not a lesbian," I repeated, willing it to be so.

"Accepting the truth is harder for some." Billie's eyes were locked on mine and it felt like she was gazing deep into my soul. I felt my resolve weakening, but my fear grew in inverse proportion.

It wasn't just my sexual orientation that would change if I gave in to Billie. It was everything. My relationship with my family. The future I had planned. How I viewed the world. Everything. Would I even still be me?

I was close to panic and had no idea what to do about it. Hell, who was I kidding? I was way past panic. I was out and out losing it.

"I'm sorry," I said with some difficulty, and then repeated the lie for the third time. "But I'm not a lesbian." Billie stared at me in silence. It made me nervous so I tried to explain. "One day, I'm going to meet the right man and settle down. My father is going to walk me down the aisle and mom is going to spoil my kids. It's been my dream for as long as I can remember." I would have continued to ramble, but Billie finally spoke.

"You're not ready." There was acceptance and a deep sadness in her voice that hurt more than just her. She stepped back and turned toward the guy. I'd forgotten he was there. "What's your name?"

"Ken." He'd obviously been close to leaving us to our conversation before Billie brought him back into it.

"Of course, it is," she sighed, shaking her head. "Well Ken, it's your lucky day. My friend here says that she's straight. We came here because she wants to dance. Why don't you take her inside and spin her around the floor a few times?"

The feeling of betrayal made no sense and I knew it, but just like most of the emotions I was feeling tonight, that didn't stop it from washing over me. The weird part is that somewhere deep down I found myself wishing it would just drown me and put me out of my misery.

"You can't be serious." Ken was clearly just as surprised by Billie's offer as I was.

"I am." Billie had turned just enough to make her deep brown eyes dark pools and unreadable in the parking lot's dim light, but I could tell she was looking at me again. "He's tall, blond and handsome. The perfect Ken to your Barbie. I hope you get everything you want out of life."

Billie started walking toward the dance club, leaving Ken and I behind. My heart beat picked up considerably. Part of me wanted to stop her, but I couldn't do it.

I watched in sadness as she neared the doorway. In a moment, Billie would walk through it and out of my life. I knew it was all for the better, but something was screaming in my head to stop her. Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately, it wasn't in me to actually do it.

Billie passed through the doorway without ever looking back. She'd apparently accepted the reality of the situation better than me. I kept telling myself that it was better this way, but something deep down insisted I was a liar. I did my best to ignore it.

"Are you okay?" I turned to Ken at his question. There was concern in his eyes. Not only was he handsome, but apparently, underneath all that ego, he was a decent guy too. I could do a lot worse. I smiled up at him, but it took an awful lot of effort.

"I'm good," I offered. "Let's go dance." I had a sudden need to be inside the dance club.

I took hold of Ken's well-muscled arm and led him through the entrance. The club was packed and the music loud. I scanned the place as soon as we were inside. I wasn't looking for Billie. I was checking out the crowd.

Although, I did notice that she seemed to have disappeared which concerned me a little. Billie was obviously upset when she walked away from me. It was only natural that I'd want to make sure she was okay. Right?

Yet, despite my best efforts, I couldn't find her. How could Billie have disappeared so quickly? Sure, the place was crowded, but she only beat us inside by a few seconds.

"How about a drink before we hit the floor?" I smiled at Ken's question, wondering if like most guys, he needed some liquid courage to dance.

I thought about if for a moment and decided that he was too confident for that. That meant he was asking so that we could get to know each other. My opinion of Ken was definitely on the upswing.

I pushed my concerns about Billie from my mind. She was probably fine and I was here with Ken now. I needed to focus on him. Besides, even if she wasn't okay, there was little I could do about it. I was the one who caused her to be upset so I'd probably only make things worse.

I told myself to forget the dark-haired beauty, but it was proving more difficult than I expected. I had to forcibly remind myself that she was the one who left me in the parking lot with a complete stranger before I could give my attention fully to Ken.

"Sure," I said agreeably. We made our way toward the bar. It was even more packed than the dance floor, but it helped having someone Ken's size leading. I saw how many of the other women ogled him as we made our way, and I admit that it felt good. This was the way things were supposed to be.

Ken and I chatted amicably through our first drink. He was pretty funny and had me laughing more often than not. The fact that we hadn't danced yet didn't bother me. I wasn't really in the mood to dance anymore anyway.

It turns out that Ken had moved out here to this coast only the year before. Our home towns were in neighboring states so we had something in common to talk about. I was having a surprisingly good time.

Well, except for the fact that I didn't see Billie in the crowd anywhere. The place was packed, but not that big. It's not like I was seriously looking for her, but you would think I would have spotted her by now if she were still here.

The thought of her having left concerned me. We did come together after all. I'd enjoyed the ride on her motorcycle and was hoping for another. Besides, if she were gone, how was I supposed to get back to my car?