A Blind Date for the Holidays

"Like what you see?" Billie asked with a raised eyebrow. I guess I was staring a little too intensely. The fact that she thought it was in interest stunned me. I couldn't speak for a moment. Instead, I blushed in embarrassment and pushed my wine glass back. Now was not the time for me to get drunk and I was already halfway there.

"I'm sorry I was staring," I finally got out. "It's more in shock than anything else." That should have been the end of it, but instead my mouth kept moving. "I mean, you're beautiful, but unfortunately, not my type. I'm not a lesbian."

I had to force myself to keep my voice steady as I said that last part. My comment on her looks earned me a surprisingly sexy smile that made me more than a little uncomfortable. I was quickly learning that I wasn't nearly as open minded as I thought.

Billie took one look at my expression and laughed. Thankfully, she chose not to be offended. I blushed even darker and drank from my glass despite my decision to hold off on the wine until I got some food in me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled in apology again.

"Why are you sorry? It's Janet who should apologize, to both of us." Billie shook her head and looked away. "I can't believe she set us up like this."

"You can't believe it?" I pushed my embarrassment back and let my annoyance at my former roommate show. "At least she set you up with someone that meets your sexual preference!" My words drew Billie's dark orbs back to me, causing me to take another large swallow from my glass before pushing it toward the center of the table once more.

"That's an interesting point." Billie had a thoughtful expression. "I wonder why she did it." A memory tickled the back of my mind for a moment as she paused, but then Billie started talking again and I lost the thread. I really needed to eat something soon. "You two didn't experiment back in college, did you?" It actually took me a second to understand what she was asking.

"No!" Okay, so I was rather loud in my denial based on the looks I received from the people nearby, but there's only so much shock a person can handle in one night. "I never so much as kissed Janet and we were roommates!"

Billie laughed at my reaction for a bit before her expression slowly morphed into something more thoughtful. It didn't take her long to share what she was thinking.

"I did once. Back in high school."

"What?" Janet was so boy crazy that it didn't make any sense. "You and Janet..."

"Just one kiss." Billie shrugged. "It didn't go over well. I'm pretty sure it grossed her out. Thank God Janet was cool about it afterward."

Okay, that might have been the first thing that made sense to me in this whole situation. I would have bet almost anything against Janet being gay. On the other hand, I wasn't surprised that she'd been supportive of Billie afterward. Janet was the most opened minded person I knew.

Billie was staring off into space, obviously remembering, but I thought there was something more to her expression than just what happened with Janet. I was proven right a moment later when she added, "We were sophomores and I was struggling. It took me another year to finally admit what I was out loud."

"That must have been hard." I tried to imagine how it would feel, but couldn't really. My family would have completely lost it. My life would have been over as I knew it.

Billie gave me a measured look, but before she could say anything more the waiter returned with her drink. She thanked him and then finished half of it in one swallow. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who needed liquid fortification to face this situation.

"I'm hungry." Billie stared into her glass for a few seconds and swished the remaining scotch around before taking another sip. "I missed lunch. Do you mind if I order?"

I hesitated. If we ordered that would mean we were going to stay and share a meal, but then again, it's not like sharing a meal meant anything more than two people eating together. The truth was that at this point I didn't feel like going back to my apartment and nuking some premade frozen dinner, not with the smells still coming out of the restaurant's kitchen. Besides, I really shouldn't drive without eating something first.

"Why not? I'm hungry too. We can plot how to get even with Janet over dinner." I was joking, mostly.

"There is that." Billie had a nice smile.

Her face was squarish and her skin was darker than mine. It was also smooth and unblemished, or at least that's what it seemed like from this side of the table. There was a definite Spanish vibe to her looks, but nothing specific.

"Give me the Marsala." Billie ordered without looking at the menu. She obviously came her often. "And another scotch."

"Is the Marsala that good? I was waffling between it and the Saltimbocca."

"There're both amazing," she replied confidently. "If you want, you get the Saltimbocca and we can share." I decided not to read too much into her offer.

"Hmm, a little bit of both...I like that."

"Not so little," Billie replied as she handed the waiter her menu. "The servings here are pretty big."

I ordered and the waiter took my menu too. I hesitated, but then added another glass of wine to the order before he disappeared. I told him to bring it with the food, hoping both came sooner rather than later.

"So," Billie said into the silence that followed. "You and Janet were roommates for four years. How did you survive it?" I knew she was just trying to make conversation.

"It wasn't that bad," I offered, but then grinned and added, "Although, it took some getting used to with her snoring and all."

"No way! Janet snores?"

We chatted about nothing special for a while. I think we were both just trying to accept the situation for what it was. It helped that we both knew Janet. We shared some of our more interesting stories about her. Janet was a good person and a better friend, but she was definitely different. Only she would do something like this surprise set up.

Eventually the waiter delivered our meals and we started to relax as we ate. The food was amazing. We shared as Billie suggested. In the end, I really couldn't decide which dish was better.

"I'm having a good time," Billie said when we were done. "Despite this date not being a real date." She was wiping the corners of her mouth with her napkin. It drew my eyes to her lips. They were nicely shaped, neither too big nor too thin. My own were bigger than I'd prefer, but not obnoxiously so. "I'm glad we decided to stay and eat."

"Me too." It was the truth. Billie was funny and I enjoyed talking to her. It was too bad she wasn't a guy. Not only was she as good looking as Janet promised, but this was the best night out I'd had in a long time. "So, tell me the truth, were you really late because of traffic?"

"No," she admitted with a laugh, blushing slightly. It was hard to spot on her, but I was watching for it. "I couldn't decide on an outfit. I saw your picture on Janet's Facebook page and I didn't want to seem like a plain Jane next to you so it took me a while to figure out what to wear. I must have tried on ten different outfits." I appreciated the implied compliment, but didn't focus on that.

"Plain Jane, you?" I gave her a look of disbelief. She was wearing brown leather pants, dark boots and a thin, long sleeved black turtle neck. The outfit was perfect for her. It looked sexy and just a little bit dangerous. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Thanks." Billie was already smiling, but it turned a little smoky at my compliment. I was just being honest and hadn't meant anything by it. I was hoping she didn't read too much into it, but based on her expression I was afraid she might have. Her eyes drifted down my body and settled on my breasts momentarily before returning to my face. Okay, there was no might about it.

It's not like people looking at my chest was a new thing. I mean, my breasts weren't huge or anything, but I wasn't small either. Okay, maybe they were a bit larger than average. It's not like it was something I could control.

I'd developed early and got more than my share of attention from the guys because of it. I'd learned to deal with the attention years ago, but this was different. This was Billie, a girl.

"I saw they have tartufo on the menu." I figured a change in topic was the safest approach to dealing with Billie's sudden attention. "It's my favorite, but I'm not sure I have room for dessert."

"We can share it, if you'd like."

I swallowed uncomfortably. It wasn't the offer. It was the way she'd said it. I'd never been hit on by a woman before and had no idea how to deal with it. I mean, it was nice to be seen as attractive, but the whole situation was just too weird.

"That's okay," I said a little too quickly. "I saw the way you were eyeing the cheesecake at the next table earlier. You should order that." I didn't mention that at the moment she was eyeing me almost the same way.

"It is my favorite," she laughed, settling back into her chair and finally looking away. I actually sighed in relief. Billie's interest was obvious and pretty intense when she looked at me that way. It made me uncomfortable, but in a weird way I couldn't quite put into words. All the wine I'd drank still wasn't helping.

The conversation moved on to safer subjects. She told me about some of the other good restaurants in the area and we discussed our jobs. I knew Billie was a real estate agent from Janet, but it quickly became obvious that she was good at her job.

I chose to live in an apartment when I moved here. I wanted to make sure the job worked out first before investing in a place of my own. Besides, I needed to save for another year or two before I would have enough for a decent down payment. After talking to Billie for a few minutes about the area, I found myself hoping we were still friends when it came time for me to find something more permanent. She was clearly good at her job.

The waiter came by and we ordered some coffee. It didn't take much for Billie to convince me to order dessert despite how full I felt. I really did love tartufo. Unsurprisingly, she picked the cheesecake.

The conversation lulled when dessert came, but there was nothing uncomfortable about the silence. Well, not until I caught Billie staring at me again.

"What?" I asked, afraid of what she might answer, but curious just the same.

"I love your eyes," she replied, making me swallow nervously. "They have a touch of green in them that's very...enticing."

Billie leaned over the table toward me. Maybe it was to get a closer look at my eyes or maybe it was something else. I felt an odd flutter deep in my belly and I pulled back, literally. There was suddenly a foot and a half between me and the edge of the table.

"Wow! Sorry. I didn't mean to make you cringe." It hadn't been a cringe exactly. Frankly, I didn't know what to call it.

"I'm the one who should be sorry." I shook my head, not wanting to think about how I'd felt as Billie grew near. It was still no excuse for me reacting like she had the plague. It was time to change the subject again. I pulled my chair back in toward the table and added, "Actually, Janet is the one who should be sorry. What was she thinking?"

"Um," Billie began tentatively. "I've been wondering about that too." She paused briefly before continuing. "Please don't be offended, but the only answer that makes sense is that she thinks that it's possible you're a lesbian." I pretty much came to the same conclusion already. I mean, why else would Janet have done it?

"Yeah, it is the only answer that makes sense." Now that I'd had time to calm down from the initial shock, I realized I wasn't nearly as surprised by this set up as I should have been. "In fact, I do have one foggy memory of her accusing me of it."

"She did?"

"Yeah," I answered, trying to hide my embarrassment and probably failing miserably.

I'd blocked out the memory of Janet's accusation pretty much from the moment it happened, but tonight I was just buzzed enough for it to resurface. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with the situation.

"It was junior year. We had just gotten back to our room from a night out. We were both drunk and she blurted out a question that honestly, was more like an accusation."

"She asked you if you were a lesbian?" Billie seemed a little too amused by the fact for my comfort, but I ignored it for the moment.

"Asked? Not really. She insisted!" I shook my head as the memory became clearer. "I denied it rather emphatically and that was the end of it, or at least I thought it was, but she must still have her doubts."

"Apparently." The laughter in Billie's voice made me groan, but that wasn't half as concerning as the look she was giving me. I was afraid that she thought Janet was right despite everything I did to convince her otherwise.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. If Billie couldn't accept the truth, then that was her problem. I'd already made it clear that I was straight. What else could I do?

That's when the last part of the conversation with Janet from all those years ago popped into my head. Not only had my roommate accused me of being gay, but she insisted that if I were, then she had the perfect girl for me. It was a friend from high school. What were the odds it was Billie? I mean, how many gay friends could she have in high school?

"This is all so overwhelming." I was talking more to myself than Billie, but she heard and her smile faded. I had no idea why the memory made me feel so melancholy.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I still don't get it. I never hit on a girl in my life and I dated plenty of guys, especially in college. Janet and I are going to have one very long conversation soon. That is, if I decide to ever talk to her again." I was kidding, mostly.

I paused as a myriad of thoughts flew through my head, but I wasn't oblivious to the concern still obvious in Billie's dark eyes. I decided it was time to lighten the mood a little.

"Well, I wanted a blind date story to tell my friends and family. This will definitely be that." It was the best I could offer and Billie did seem to relax a little at my tone. Not that I'd ever tell anyone about this. Well, not my parents anyway.

Thankfully, she changed the subject after that and I think we were both were relieved. It wasn't long before we were laughing and talking comfortably with each other again. It was weird how well we got along as long as we stayed away from the topic of my sexual preference. Well, that and Billie didn't look at me too intently.

We were laughing at one of Billie's stories when the waiter dropped the check off. There was a bit of awkwardness as we both reached for it, but Billie insisted on paying. She told me she'd write it off as a business expense since we'd talked about my need for a place eventually. She said she was planning on being my agent when the time came.

I didn't quite buy that as the only reason she insisted on paying, but by the same token I now felt obligated to use her and that probably meant a somewhat lucrative commission for her. At least, that's the rational I used when I gave in and let her take the check.

We were waiting for the waiter to return with her receipt when I asked, "Are you up for dancing? I'm not ready to call it a night." I think the only one more surprised than Billie by my question was me. She gave me an odd look. "What?" Okay, so I sounded a little defensive, but I couldn't help myself.

"Sounds like fun." Her expression was once again making me nervous which unfortunately, made me ramble a bit.

"The good news is that we won't be competing for attention. I mean, if you find a girl you're interested in, you won't have to worry about me trying to steal her or anything. The same is true if I find a guy. Wait, unless your bi?" I didn't quite groan at what I'd blurted out, but it was a close thing.

"No, I'm not interested in guys in that way." Her dark orbs met mine and my heart began beating far too quickly for my liking.

What was wrong with me? I'd never been interested in girls before, but if I were being honest, there was something about Billie that got to me. A horrifying thought fought itself to the surface.

Could Janet be right about me? The answer came to me immediately. It was a resounding no!

I mean, it was impossible to deny that Billie's dark Spanish looks were sexy as hell. On the other hand, I'd met plenty of beautiful women before and never felt this kind of attraction. Okay, so occasionally I'd feel drawn to one of them, but that was normal, right? Everyone liked to be around beautiful people. That didn't mean anything.

The problem was that this time was different. Billie was the first girl who ever hit on me, or at least that I knew was doing it. Worse, I couldn't help but like her. I had a feeling that we could become good friends, but she wanted more than simple friendship and that was beyond me.

Even now, as my mind raced, Billie was watching me with an odd sort of anticipation. I wasn't oblivious to the desire in her dark, knowing eyes or how it made me feel. I simply chose not to accept it, any of it. I couldn't. I simply wasn't strong enough. Even if I were, I couldn't do that to my parents. It would kill them.

"Please don't look at me like that!" I blurted out in a harsh whisper, trying to distance myself from the moment. "It's just so wrong!"

I'm not sure what I expected Billie's reaction to be. A large part of me wanted her to be offended and storm off, but Billie being Billie, she just smiled instead.

"There's wrong and then there's wrong." Billie's cryptic words didn't help. I had the feeling that she knew exactly what she was doing to me. Thankfully, the waiter returned and distracted her.

I began to seriously regret suggesting we go dancing. I wanted to tell Billie that I'd changed my mind, but the words wouldn't come. My mind was still spinning as we made our way out of the restaurant.

I smiled when I realized how nice it was out. That was one good thing about moving here. It was definitely a lot warmer than it was at home this time of the year. I might miss the cold when it got closer to Christmas, but then again, maybe not.

It was a beautiful night and I couldn't deny that I had a great time at dinner, but the fresh air helped clear my head and I realized that this couldn't go any further. It wouldn't be fair to Billie. Now I just had to convince her. I made myself stop following the brunette. She paused and looked back at me.

I'd already told Billie that I wasn't a lesbian a few times and each time she accepted my words easily enough, but then she'd look at me with those dark chocolate eyes of hers in a way that made it obvious that she didn't believe me, or that she hoped I'd change my mind, as if that were possible.

I quickly looked away from her and stared up at the star filled sky instead, taking a deep breath. It helped. It helped a lot. I realized that this whole situation wasn't me. I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted out of life and this wasn't it.

I glanced back at Billie and saw her watching me and waiting. The oddly content smile on her face made my pulse quicken. It was time to end whatever this was. I opened my mouth to force the words out, but Billie cut me off.

"So, why don't we go together on my motorcycle? We can come back for your car later. The place I have in mind isn't far." My conviction to stop what was going on and go home weakened considerably.

"You have a motorcycle?" My voice didn't quite squeak, but my words weren't so much of a question as a surprised reaction. I'd never been on a motorcycle before and it was something I always wanted to do.

"Yes. Do you want a ride?"

Motorcycles were not something my parents condoned and they let my three brothers and me know that at an early age. Their mantra about how dangerous motorcycle were kept me away from them when I was younger. I didn't really know anyone with one as I got older so the opportunity never arose. Besides, I came from a small enough town. My parents would have heard if I got on one, and even at my age, I still did my best to avoid one of their lectures.